Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Savo
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Oh good, more opinions!... hm.

Now that I think about it, what are the guild masters opinions of everyone elses characters? After all, I'm suuuuuuuure the Harpy's Wing has no bias in picking Illedrith as her fave :P
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by pkken
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@Sho Minazuki Does Vegas magic eat through Curse magic used by demons? Just for future reference.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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@Sho Minazuki Does Vegas magic eat through Curse magic used by demons? Just for future reference.


I'll step in on this with a ruling. It does, but it's far less efficient (like 20%) than against regular magic.

@Savo Excellent point! I'll start their opinions sections in the next couple of hours.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Sho Minazuki
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@pkken I took a look at Curses, and according to the description, yes. It's the yin to regular magic's yang. Magic is stemmed from will and emotions, but Curse harnesses the dark wills and emotions instead.

After being reminded that Curse exists, maybe I'll do something with it... Later of course.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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*Snipped CS*

@Lord Sawsaw2 As promised, here's the last character for Golem's Hand. Still lacking some editions, since I kinda want to make the writing of the Bio in particular smoother and still got to add some things to his Darkness Magic (specifically Custom spells and customized descriptions for every Canon spell) but since he isn't using it until later in the RP I felt that it would be ok to leave it like this as of now.


Alright, suggestions and changes.
My biggest overall change for the Illusion magic would be to make it incomplete somehow so that even those who have been affected by it still have some way of fighting back against it, rather than the fight just straight up being over once it affects them. And no, the option of fighting with your eyes shut at all times is not an acceptable drawback, that's arguably even more debilitating.

My suggestion for a magic-wide drawback is that the illusions don't work in the very corner of people's visions (like the SEP field from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). Since most people won't know your magic is illusions, they won't know to look for it, but in a protracted fight it's possible for people to figure it out, particularly in your bigger and more grandiose illusions.

As for the individual skills, Jabberwocky is fine as long as you have to have physical contact to activate it on a person. Simply being able to point at someone and fully change their emotions to the point that they would cut down their allies is hella broken. In something that will be repeated later, I'd also suggest that if you lose line of sight to the individual in question, the effect ends, or if you move too far away from them it ends. 2 minutes is a hell of a long time with no counters, that's like a page and a half to two pages of text. Obviously I will be lenient with this when you're using it on NPCs

Wonderland is such a sweet idea, but at present it's also hilariously broken. As written, your wonderland could literally just put them in a .5m x .5m box so that they can't move, turn, or fight, and then you could just walk up to them and slit their throats. This needs to be changed to make it balanced either by making Seto and all his allies follow the rules of the Wonderland, making the wonderland only exist in a small diameter cone made up of Seto's field of vision (like 5m max), making illusory objects that are touched disappear (can still be played around by leaving objects in so that when they start walking through walls to make them disappear, they walk into actual walls/holes/trees/spikes because they don't believe they're real), or making it another targeted spell like Jabberwocky. I'm definitely open to more ideas from you about how to balance this, but be prepared for a reasonably strenuous vetting process for this to make sure it both works for you and is fair for everyone else.

Moving on to the darkness magic. As canon magic, these are all approved of course, with the following stipulations.
- Dark Deflect can only affect pure magic spells, not things with physical components
- Dark Enveloping Claw can either be cast as a Trap (as I'll explain later to everyone) or as a two-post spell, giving the receiving party time to react to it being cast
- Dark Grab has the same secondary requirement, in that it allows the target to react to being attacked and potentially dodge or whatever
- Same with Darkness Breath

I say these only because the pages you referenced have them landing immediately as auto-immobilize attacks, which are inappropriate for a combat RP with potential inter-player combat.

I hope I haven't been too harsh! Please let me know what you think of the changes and we can work on getting it all approved. Outside of the spell, your CS looks fantastic, so once the spells are done you'll be approved.




*Snipped Question*

2: Would this work?

The character I'm planning would be a "leader" type character. If you've played Dungeons and Dragons, think of the Warlord. Here's her image.

The main thing I'd be thinking would be something along the lines of "shouts of power" or something akin to that. Like in the original Dawn of War where, if you upgrade a squad with a sergeant and use his "Rally Squad" ability, he can shout several things like "You will stand your ground!" and "Rally Squad!" among other things. See here. and here for examples.

I don't really know if this kind of magic would work in the Fairy Tale world. I was going to have the "shouts of power" be caster magic, though disguised as holder magic, specifically the gemstone in the pommel of her sword. The other thing would be a sort of "Repair" magic, which would keep her equipment in good shape and allow her to heal faster.

Would that work? The Wiki and watching a few episodes doesn't really bring a lot of clarity to what you can and cannot do.


Alright, so, my thoughts on how to make the voice thing work are as follows:
You can either make it a major or a minor part of your character's magic. If you're planning on going down the route of the combat specialist ex-equip character, you'll want to make it a minor part that gets used as the need arises. If you'd rather go down a path where it's the focus, you'll need to have more of a think about the scope of what you want it to do.

If you wanted it as a minor magic, you could do something like a rallying cry that transfers some of your magical power out to your allies to help them get back in the fight, or a powerful scream (like a Banshee) to demoralize and/or terrify those who hear it. Sound magic can do a lot more, you just have to be inventive about how you implement it. Your example of Squad Rally doesn't really hold up as in IC terms that's literally just the Sergeant being in command of his squad and making sure they stay in line, but you could have magic that makes people naturally trust you, or just feel braver when you're around. If you want to have a longer conversation about you'd like to make it work, feel free to send me a PM and we can have a chat about what you'd like to make!




@Lord Sawsaw2

I am guessing magic games will be a thing :3


Definitely will be a thing if we ever get there, yes!




@pkken I took a look at Curses, and according to the description, yes. It's the yin to regular magic's yang. Magic is stemmed from will and emotions, but Curse harnesses the dark wills and emotions instead.


The fact that they both stem from emotions is why you can still use your magic on it. Since the other source of power is not the same, it's partially incompatible. For balance sake, and simply as a footnote to how canonical magics have interacted with Curse magic in the setting, see my ruling of it being 20% effective. Your tier four armor form is still largely immune to regular curse magic though.




I think I've now addressed everything from the last couple of days that require my attention. If you feel I've missed something, please do let me know so I can stay on top of it. Outside of that, keep up the discussions about team dynamics and your work on relationships and we should hopefully be good to get into it by the weekend, when I will post up a set of guidelines about what the schedule will be, and certain mechanics that we'll be using to keep the story flowing naturally and fairly for everyone.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Spanner
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I'm adressing the comments individually because I just woke up and would probably mess things up otherwise it looks better like this.

<Snipped quote by Spanner>

Alright, suggestions and changes.
My biggest overall change for the Illusion magic would be to make it incomplete somehow so that even those who have been affected by it still have some way of fighting back against it, rather than the fight just straight up being over once it affects them. And no, the option of fighting with your eyes shut at all times is not an acceptable drawback, that's arguably even more debilitating.

My suggestion for a magic-wide drawback is that the illusions don't work in the very corner of people's visions (like the SEP field from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy). Since most people won't know your magic is illusions, they won't know to look for it, but in a protracted fight it's possible for people to figure it out, particularly in your bigger and more grandiose illusions.


For an overall weakness, It's pretty hard to limit illusions like that since they have fairly different objectives and things like a general weakness hardly work. The closing eyes option was mentioned multiple times mostly because it is pretty much the simplest method, since all of his illusions are pretty much visual, but I can as well add the corner of eye weakness for the hiding aspect of wonderland and Chesire's Reality as a whole, since both specialize in making things unnoticeable, but for the ones based in projecting illusions I'd rather apply other weaknesses if necessary.

As for the individual skills, Jabberwocky is fine as long as you have to have physical contact to activate it on a person. Simply being able to point at someone and fully change their emotions to the point that they would cut down their allies is hella broken. In something that will be repeated later, I'd also suggest that if you lose line of sight to the individual in question, the effect ends, or if you move too far away from them it ends. 2 minutes is a hell of a long time with no counters, that's like a page and a half to two pages of text. Obviously I will be lenient with this when you're using it on NPCs.


I'm perfectly fine with having to use physicial contact to start it and have a distance restriction to maintain it active, just ain't sure about what would be the ideal range and would like to know your opinion about it. I can also reduce the duration of the technique if you feel it is necessary.

Wonderland is such a sweet idea, but at present it's also hilariously broken. As written, your wonderland could literally just put them in a .5m x .5m box so that they can't move, turn, or fight, and then you could just walk up to them and slit their throats. This needs to be changed to make it balanced either by making Seto and all his allies follow the rules of the Wonderland, making the wonderland only exist in a small diameter cone made up of Seto's field of vision (like 5m max), making illusory objects that are touched disappear (can still be played around by leaving objects in so that when they start walking through walls to make them disappear, they walk into actual walls/holes/trees/spikes because they don't believe they're real), or making it another targeted spell like Jabberwocky. I'm definitely open to more ideas from you about how to balance this, but be prepared for a reasonably strenuous vetting process for this to make sure it both works for you and is fair for everyone else.


I actually planned to make Wonderland's rules valid for everyone inside it's effective area, Seto included, from the very start. Would be awfully broken otherwise. Also, I'd like to mention that while the environment created is "solid" it also respects the affected person's mentality, making it so as long as they believe they can break something they'll be able to do so (e.g. as long as you can break a wall normally, you'll probably be able to break a tables in wonderland since you're certain that you're capable of breaking tables.). I originally planned to make it something fun to implement in conjunction to Seto's talking to make crazy scenes, like someone lifting a chair and he suddenly mentioning that its weight actually increases when out of the ground, making the person unconsciously believe that it is suddenly heavier, or watch some physically weak character trying to break a seemingly solid wall just to suddenly say it is made of jelly, instantly making them able to break through it. Kind of marvelously fits the character's theme and is undoubtedly pretty wonderland-ish, though it may be fairly troublesome to implement on pvp.

Is that fine for you or you'd preffer if I made it simpler to avoid confusion?

Moving on to the darkness magic. As canon magic, these are all approved of course, with the following stipulations.
- Dark Deflect can only affect pure magic spells, not things with physical components
- Dark Enveloping Claw can either be cast as a Trap (as I'll explain later to everyone) or as a two-post spell, giving the receiving party time to react to it being cast
- Dark Grab has the same secondary requirement, in that it allows the target to react to being attacked and potentially dodge or whatever
- Same with Darkness Breath

I say these only because the pages you referenced have them landing immediately as auto-immobilize attacks, which are inappropriate for a combat RP with potential inter-player combat.


I'm fine with all of this. No secondary comments here.

I hope I haven't been too harsh! Please let me know what you think of the changes and we can work on getting it all approved. Outside of the spell, your CS looks fantastic, so once the spells are done you'll be approved.


Not harsh at all. All of your worries were fairly justified and important for balancing after all, couldn't possibly be annoyed by that.

P.s. thank for the compliment~ I was actually fairly worried about quality since it is pretty much an adaptation of an old character and I kind of had some difficulty in rewriting stuff.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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I'm adressing the comments individually because I just woke up and would probably mess things up otherwise it looks better like this.

<Snipped quote by Lord Sawsaw2>

For an overall weakness, It's pretty hard to limit illusions like that since they have fairly different objectives and things like a general weakness hardly work. The closing eyes option was mentioned multiple times mostly because it is pretty much the simplest method, since all of his illusions are pretty much visual, but I can as well add the corner of eye weakness for the hiding aspect of wonderland and Chesire's Reality as a whole, since both specialize in making things unnoticeable, but for the ones based in projecting illusions I'd rather apply other weaknesses if necessary.

<Snipped quote by Lord Sawsaw2>

I'm perfectly fine with having to use physicial contact to start it and have a distance restriction to maintain it active, just ain't sure about what would be the ideal range and would like to know your opinion about it. I can also reduce the duration of the technique if you feel it is necessary.

<Snipped quote by Lord Sawsaw2>

I actually planned to make Wonderland's rules valid for everyone inside it's effective area, Seto included, from the very start. Would be awfully broken otherwise. Also, I'd like to mention that while the environment created is "solid" it also respects the affected person's mentality, making it so as long as they believe they can break something they'll be able to do so (e.g. as long as you can break a wall normally, you'll probably be able to break a tables in wonderland since you're certain that you're capable of breaking tables.). I originally planned to make it something fun to implement in conjunction to Seto's talking to make crazy scenes, like someone lifting a chair and he suddenly mentioning that its weight actually increases when out of the ground, making the person unconsciously believe that it is suddenly heavier, or watch some physically weak character trying to break a seemingly solid wall just to suddenly say it is made of jelly, instantly making them able to break through it. Kind of marvelously fits the character's theme and is undoubtedly pretty wonderland-ish, though it may be fairly troublesome to implement on pvp.

Is that fine for you or you'd preffer if I made it simpler to avoid confusion?

<Snipped quote by Lord Sawsaw2>

I'm fine with all of this. No secondary comments here.

<Snipped quote by Lord Sawsaw2>

Not harsh at all. All of your worries were fairly justified and important for balancing after all, couldn't possibly be annoyed by that.

P.s. thank for the compliment~ I was actually fairly worried about quality since it is pretty much an adaptation of an old character and I kind of had some difficulty in rewriting stuff.


I definitely agree with you about how hard it is to balance! Hopefully we'll get something that's good in the end.
I'm happy with your suggestion that the corner of the eye thing only affects Wonderland and Cheshire's Reality, the other ones don't really need it, since they're visible and can be interacted with.

I think 50 meters would be fine? That's a reasonably large distance, but it's an area that's searchable by their allies to try and find you to get you to stop the effect or something. And 2 minutes is fine as long as it's channeled (ie. draining your mana slowly and making it harder to cast other spells) while it's affecting a target. If you want it as an on-hit effect, maybe 45s maximum duration and 20m tether range?

If Wonderland affects everyone, it's...fine I guess? Reword it for clarity to make sure that it is clear exactly what it does, and exactly how it works. I imagine once you start making physics-changing alterations to the world at a whim to mess with its inhabitants, they'll quickly determine it's an illusion, but the spell is still able to make them have to obey its geometry (where possible). As long as you're trapped in there too, and can't see things you've chosen to hide in the illusion (making previously placed traps dangerous for your allies, but still usable since you should know roughly where they are) it's fine.

And glad to hear you're onboard with the clarifications for the Darkness magic. With these changes reflected on your CS, you should be good to post up. Do the rewrite and tag me, and I'll formally approve the sheet for you tomorrow/today (it's 2am here, so I guess today)
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Spanner
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@Lord Sawsaw2 Is something like that fine? May have forgotten to add something since I'm sort of occupied rn.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by pkken
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@Lord Sawsaw2 Mind if I add some more abilities for Damien, more so utility moves to help setup his moves rather than damaging ones? If yes, I'll run them by you before adding them into Cs.
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@Spanner I'll have a look at it in my lunch break.

@Lord Sawsaw2 Mind if I add some more abilities for Damien, more so utility moves to help setup his moves rather than damaging ones? If yes, I'll run them by you before adding them into Cs.


That's fine. Post them up for approval and I'll have a look at them when I can.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Savo
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The stage is all set for the big concert... guess that means only one thing...

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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@Savo Those changes are fine. You seem to have accidentally missed a couple of words in your spell descriptions, but I know what you mean so consider your character confirmed. You're welcome to post up in the Characters tab whenever.
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@Lord Sawsaw2 gotcha, but if you wouldn't mind, mind pointing out where I made these mistakes? I want to try and correct them as soon as possible.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Joker892
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@Rune_Alchemist Just wanted to point out that you missed Jack in Ceri's opinions. Just noticed it.
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@Joker892

Haven't missed it.

Just haven't gotten around to it yet. Internet was out most of the day today. I'll get it done either tonight or tomorrow though, most likely.
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@Rune_Alchemist Ah alright then, just thought I say something. :)
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Savo
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Welp, I've got a few relationships up; tell me what some of you all think and what I might need to change/discuss with any of you.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Lord Sawsaw2
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@Lord Sawsaw2 gotcha, but if you wouldn't mind, mind pointing out where I made these mistakes? I want to try and correct them as soon as possible.


In Personality:
"...certain rules, he is an extremely free..."

In History:
"...had a huge amount of mages that appeared between pure professionalism to those who appeared to be able to handle themselves relatively well."

In Spells:
Yarn Grenade "...entangling the opponent or their ?when? in a sea of string.
Intertwined Mimic "...significantly weakening him for a couple of minutes..."
Silk and Serenity "...Absorbing clothes or string created by ??? (including ones..."




@Spanner Those changes are fine. You're approved to post up in the Characters tab.




Edit: Also, @Savo, your relationships are looking good so far. The ones for Arianna and Illedrith are perfectly fine.
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Just to give everyone a heads up, I've got my bio sent in a PM to Saw. I've been given permission to post it now, but I'm going to wait for Saw to give me full feedback and suggestions to post the whole thing. There's probably a bit that needs to be fixed and improved so I'd want everyone to have their reactions to the final product rather than the half "finished" beta.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by pkken
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@Lord Sawsaw2
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