• Damian has a tendency to fiddle with his necklace when thinking, or nervous. One of these things happens much more frequently than the other.
• He plays video games with his friends, mostly dudebro games, like Call of Duty, or the newest sports game.
• Like his father, he is a big fan of professional wrestling, notably the AWE.
• He carries around protein bars almost everywhere. Gotta get those gains, bruh. His favorite flavors are birthday cake and cookie dough.
• His left big toe is noticeably bigger than his right. He’s rather embarrassed by it.
• A big fan of chocolate covered potato chips; possibly an acquired taste. He is not above dipping his chips in chocolate sauce.
• He has a morning ritual that locks up the bathroom for almost an hour and a half a day. Because of this, his father had a bathroom added to Damian’s room.
• Used to be a dedicated boy scout. He dropped this only last summer, when he realized he needed to cut something out. This is known to his friends as Damian’s greatest regret.
• He hates swimming in chlorinated water. He’s fine in fresh or salt, but chlorination bothers him.
• Can often be found with Buckley, his kitten, on his chest while he lays on the couch and browses the internet.
• Has a strong dislike of wearing pants. He will wear them in the comfort of his own home only when guests are over.
• Additionally is not a fan of t-shirts. This is much easier to deal with, as no one really complains when he takes off the t-shirt. Thank you, genetics.
• Honestly? He’d like to just be naked.
• He likes carrots. Loves them really.
• Damian is a huge fan of redheads, oddly. It bothers him because his mother is a redhead, which he sometimes worries about. Is that an Oedipus complex? God, he hopes not.

• RT&J, don’t you know? They’re the new PB&J.
• Wesley Snipes as Blade
• His cat, Buckley, a sixth birthday present from his godfather
• His BOYS
• Heavy bass tracks
• A rest day; under his father’s advice, he tends to take one day a week where he cuts off contact with the world and relaxes
• His hair. Look it isn’t fucking easy to maintain this. No, it isn’t some luscious mane, but it’s pretty perfectly maintained and obsessively manicured.
• His necklace; arguably his most important possession.
• Protein bars.
• Oh yeah, The Crew, the Elite, by the way, all fucking day. All that other shit, you all already know.

• The HOT Girls.
• Yogurt
• The sound plastic wrappers make when you crumple them up. No, seriously. He hates it.
• He hates having his face touched more than possibly anything on the planet. Even if he’s dead and you have to open his mouth to get dental impressions to verify identity DON’T TOUCH HIS FACE.
• Even though he’s at the top, the very idea of a social ladder sort of bugs him. He can’t comprehend why people can’t just hang out with whoever they enjoy hanging out with. What’s the point of this forced separation? He’s not sure, but he intends to deal with it.
• BEING TOUCHED IN GENERAL. If you aren’t invited, don’t touch his face. Don’t touch his arms. It’s not cute, it’s not attractive. You’re not gonna get in his pants by rubbing up on him. D O N O T T O U C H T H E D A M I A N. Except for his best friends. They can. And girls that he’s hooking up with.

• Varsity QB (Captain)
• Theater/drama club member

• Has a bad habit of chewing on his thumb.
• Enjoys floating in his pond (yes, his pond), with his two pets. It also doubles as a koi pond! His mother tried very hard. Didn’t work, though.
• Is being an alcoholic a habit? It should be.
• He’s a big fan of money, and checks the stock market when he first wakes up and before he goes to bed. He aspires to one be a Wall Street guy. After all, money never sleeps, and they all do cocaine and strippers. Life goals.

• Benedict and Arnold, his pet capybaras. While initially he wasn’t very fond of him… they won him over via cuddles. They’re much softer than they look! Most of his love goes to these guys, the rest of his emotions go toward being a fucker.
• Captain Cuddles. Look, he might not get along with his parents. He might not be on the best terms with his family. But… that doesn’t matter, he gets free pizza there, free arcade game tokens… Free. Free is good.
• Women. He’s not picky! Tall women, small women, all women. He’s practicing for someone. Plus, he has needs.
• Movies! He’s a huge movie buff.
• Explosives. Fireworks, particularly. He loves them. Thinks they’re a core part of any gathering, and has more than a few in his room. Are they still illegal in California? Yup. Don’t matter though.
• Strobe lights, particularly colored ones. He enjoys the flashing and moving quickly in them.
• Video games! He loves playing them, and has his own personal room devoted to it. It’s his pride and joy — yes, Benedict and Arnold are allowed inside.
• Midriff is his kryptonite. Oof.
• Sleeping. It’s his hobby, basically. Preferably with other people.
• Jamming on the flute! While he was once considered a violin prodigy, Henry wildly prefers the flute, and abandoned the violin at age 12, much to his mother’s annoyance.

• To Henry’s credit, he likes most everything. He considers himself to be a chill guy, a real humble dude. Eccentric, sure, but not really ‘disliking.’ As such, this list will be smaller than the one of his likes:
• The violin. Look, it’s just not his style. He can appreciate the sound, and even other people who play it, but it’s… it’s not for him. Too much effort, honestly.
• His sisters. It’s not just normal sibling rivalries or anything like that, Henry genuinely and truly hates his sisters. Maybe it’s just becuase of the attention they get in favor of him, or maybe it’s just that he blames them for his falling outs with his parents.
• Waking up. Now, this isn’t a depression thing, he doesn’t want to die, or anything like that. Henry hates the act of waking up. Opening your eyes, giving up whoever you’re cuddling, rolling out of the warmth and comfort of the hole you created in your bed… He hates giving that stuff up! It’s not about dying.
• Hangovers. He’s found out a way to beat them though. Two aspirin and two Tylenol. Ain’t nothin’ Tylenol can’t fix. He keeps a bottle of each underneath his bed as a result.
• Dude, the smell of sulfuric acid. Shouldn’t even have to describe this one…

• Film appreciation club. He’s pretty much by himself, but… he does it anyway. One movie a week, at the Castle, in the cinema, followed by a review he submits to the school newspaper. Sometimes it gets published, sometimes it doesn’t. He’s doing it for himself.

• Is convinced that with the proper training, flight is totally possible. If Dragon Ball can do it, why can’t she?
• A huge fan of arcade games, especially fighting games. She’s nigh unbeatable in those, and is a MACHINE on other cabinets. She’s a goddamn monster. One quarter, two hours of gameplay.
• She loves the water. Loves aquariums (they have a huge one at her house!). Loves fish. Loves sharks. Loves the ocean. She swims with dolphins often, it’s almost an obsession.
• After hearing stories from her parents, she is of the opinion that FaceTime can create relationships.
• Weed, dude. It kinda runs in the family? Her dad was a big stoner when he was younger, her mom? Not so much, but she did a little bit… She blames dad. So does Kit. It’s fun though!
• Thinks her initials would be better if they ended with an S…
• Emo music. That Jareth guy that hangs out at the BBQs sometimes? He ain’t bad. Kit hit him up for makeup tips first and foremost. She was petrified with embarrassment to ask her mother.
• Has a notebook she writes and draws in, it’s basically a diary. It’s locked and she would be DEVASTATED if it were ever read by someone else.
• She also confides in her Assistant, who is named Echo.

• “Daddy says if I never tell someone something that’s eating me up inside, I’ll die… so, I’m gonna whisper this. JUST ONCE. _{iminlovewithselenasterling.} Wow! I actually do feel better.”
• Alestorm. Her favorite band! Gets it from her daddy.
• Swimming. She learned at a very young age, and has loved it every since. They have a heated pool, and she occasionally gets in their massive aquarium.
• Psychology. Her father makes it like, really interesting? Maybe she’ll be a psychologist one day!
• Brain surgery. Her grandfather did this, he was the consummate professional and saved a ton of lives. It’s awesome.
• Anesthesiology. Her grandmother did this one! She loves it too, they’re all so impressive and fancy…
• ... weed, okay?
• Pizza. Pizza so hard.
• The Navy. Her other grandpa did this! He was an underwater welder. He lived on a submarine! SO COOL.
• Medicine. Not the actual stuff, but the study and practice of it. That’s really, really cool.

• War. It’s not good for anyone.
• Taste of liquid Tylenol. Fucking gross.
• Being girly. This is impossible.
• LOVE. She has it bad, and it confuses the fuck out of her. She doesn’t even know where to begin to act on it, let alone how to MAKE something of it.

• “...I’m going to try out for cheerleading…”
• “I also circled anime club, board game club, food club (THAT’S A THING, A REAL THING), film club, video game club, science club ANNNNND yearbook. Yearbook is cool. I was in charge of it last year. I can at least help here. But I hear in HS — that’s what the cool kids call high school, by the way — yearbook is just a class. Not an extra thing. Sweet!”

• His middle name was chosen after a girl’s; his father’s best friend. Brian considers this an oddity.
• He speaks Russian fluently. Brian considers this a quirk, but really it’s just a side effect of being raised bilingual.
• He has a noteworthy birthmark on his stomach, slightly above his waistline. It looks very similar to an arrowhead. Brian considers this an oddity.
• Brian plays the saxophone. He practices every day. Brian considers this to be a habit.
• He will only eat noodles, of any sort, with a fork. This is mostly an oddity, though Brian thinks people who eat noodles with a spoon are just stupid.
• He is incredibly lazy for a Helmsley. His mother, grandfather, and grandmother all say he’s more like his father than he knows. He doesn’t understand this, and as such, considers it a quirk.
• He enjoys drawing. Typically, in a ‘cute’ or ‘chibi’ form. He considers this a habit.
• He leads a clean life, adhering to a strict diet and keeping drugs and alcohol out of his system. To his friends, Brian is on an eternal ‘cleanse.’ That is to say, Brian will decline cocaine, alcohol, weed, and tobacco by saying ‘no thanks, I’m on my cleanse.’ Brian does not have a problem with this, however, his friends consider it an oddity if they’re in a bad mood, a quirk if they’re happy.
• Despite his most heartfelt protests, is often forced to attend fancy ‘luncheons,’ ‘brunches,’ and the ever terrible ‘dinner party,’ typical with his grandmother. Brian reluctantly considers this a habit or ‘hobby.’ He once told his grandmother no, and she cried for forty minutes. He now goes everytime.
• Though Brian doesn’t think about it often, he finds himself gravitating toward Damian O’Connor and Trevor Wells fairly often. This makes him (though he doesn’t know about the reformation), an Elite.
• He chooses to ignore the fact that Damian has been inside of his sister multiple times.

• Fireworks. He thinks fireworks are the most beautiful thing in the world, and goes to Disneyland fairly often to attend the shows. He would like to one day either be a firework technician as a job, or as a hobby. He could certainly afford it.
• Bright colors. He was brought up in a droll and dull grey castle, and has found that he much prefers brighter, happier colors. As a result, he spends a lot of his free time (of which there is not as much as he’d like) at Hummingbird Creations, appreciating the flowers and bouquets.
• Music, of all sorts. He is a particularly big fan of jazz music, which is why he plays the sax. His favorite player is John Coltrane.
• A certain one of his peers.
• Henry Green. Sure, he fucks around with his sister all the time, but Henry’s alright.
• Okay, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit of a mama’s boy. Plus his grandmother.

• The pressures of his last name.
• All the suits he has to spend time with, and make nice with.
• The idea that he has to eventually be ‘someone.’ He’s just a kid.
• The Weekend Warrior. This is fresh. Very, very fresh.
• Parties. The parties thrown by his friends are a bit overwhelming for him, and the parties thrown by his parents’s peers drone on forever.

• He writes for the school newspaper. Brian heads the advice column, wherein people ask him, Brian, for advice. He’s not sure why, but this has been wildly successful. Brian considers this his job. He plans to return home and ask Trixie if he can publish an op-ed of sorts.
• Brian was a football player (cornerback), until receiving the recent news that Damian O’Connor is no longer the captain. He texted Trevor, and the coach his immediate resignation after hearing the news.
• Brian intends to use this additional free time to work with Riley Wells in the A/V club and morning show. He intends to use this to his advantage while repairing the damage dealt by the Weekend Warrior. He has texted Riley his intention of joining in the form of a statement, rather than a question.

• Is always chewing gum. He carries a fresh pack with him always. He likes all kinds, but favors spearmint and tropical flavors.
• Very confrontational. He’s loud, proud, brash, and in charge dude.
• Bends to the will of his mother and grandmother. Mostly, because of his dad in the background.
• Is a huge Christina Aguilera fan, and often can be found humming or even singing her tracks under his breath.
• He has the it factor. He’s charismatic. It makes the whole speech and debate thing a breeze.
• Doesn’t like fizzy, carbonated drinks. He’s big on tea though.

• Fast cars and freedom. I like building them, I like driving them, I like racing them.
• No, seriously. Racing is fantastic. Street racing is preferred, but track racing isn’t bad. Me and AJ roll hard on the streets. We go hard in the paint, you hear me?
• Fuck Katie Callaghan. His greatest secret? He likes her — not like, likes her, but she’s important to him. If he were Batman, she’d be his Joker. Can’t have one without the other.
• I’m a big, big fan of the color orange. And the fruit.
• Video games. Zombies. 2K. Solo games. Halo. All that shit.
• Christina Aguilera. Bitch can rock. You ever listened to Ain’t No Other Man? Listen to it. Did you listen to it? She owns.
• Nirvana is also dope. Not quite as dope, but… pretty dope.

• Fuck a Katie. See above.
• Itchy scalps. Your head ever itched? It sucks.
• Beanies. They’re like… almost hats? But not… completely hats. Just… just wear a hat.
• Here’s the deal: I’m smart. But I don’t like bein’ called a nerd. The result? I don’t try hard. At anything. Except for video games. I try just hard enough to be good, but never hard enough to be as good as I know I could be. Don’t let anyone bag on me for bein’ smart.
• Look, man, to be honest? I don’t dislike much. I vibe with a lot of things.

• Chess club
• Speech and debate

• Mason says a lot of things that he’s inherited from his parents and people in his life. Stuff like ‘sweet,’ ‘money,’ ‘tight,’ ‘bro,’ and ‘homie.’
• Mason has beautiful handwritten printing, and almost calligraphy-esque cursive. His mother taught him his printing and his cursive and worked with him frequently every day to get him to the point where he is now. This is because his mother likes to handwrite (she’s mute and this is the main way she communicates) and didn’t want the art lost to her son.
• He has a scar on his right shoulder from when he attempted (and failed) to do a complete loop on a swing set. It didn’t go well, but he’s still convinced that it’s possible. He just needs more momentum. He was nine years old.
• There is a hole in the wall in a hallway in his home. This is from Mason, aged 10, when he threw a mug at the wall. His intent was for it to explode, in a loud crashing noise that would serve as a sound effect for the G.I. Joes he was playing with. This did not create the intended effect. The mug was too heavy, made of too solid a material. Rather than shatter, it just lumped itself in the wall. His parents chose to leave it there — it’s funny and a good story.
• He winks at people randomly in conversation, often when it’s uncalled for, and will sometimes call people champ.

• Metallica
• Apple butts
• Pretty handwriting
• Going fast
• Going hard
• Going big
• His mother’s voice. It’s angelic, but she doesn’t talk much.
• Girls with hair that he can play with and braid and brush and stuff. Leave him alone, it’s not weird.
• Breakfast food. He likes it so much so that his family often eats breakfast three times a day
• The smell of napalm in the morning! Just kidding, but Apocalypse Now is one of his favorite flicks
• Music. He likes rock, softer rock, slightly heavier rock, smoother rock… He’s a big fan of rock.
• When girls wear long socks. Or thigh highs. Or leggings.
• Also when girls have on skirts or shorts or dresses and thigh highs or knee socks and there’s that little strip of visible thigh. Absolute territory.
• Movie theater butter. Yeah, it’s like… some kind of weird oil or something, but fuck him up. Just murder this man with butter. Lay him the fuck out.

• Going home
• The taste of asphalt
• People who think cake shouldn’t be combined with cookies. Just fuck his shit up, okay?
• Not much of anything else, he’s pretty relaxed.

• Aspires to have a segment on the show where he uploads footage of himself and his friends doing cool shit.

• Does a crossword puzzle every day with her girlfriend in homeroom
• Has a bad habit of chewing on her hair. This sometimes bleeds over to her girlfriend’s hair. That is to say, she sometimes chews on it.
• Also chews on straws after drinking sodas and stuff.
• She may just really like chewing on things. She has a habit to be chewing gum too.
• She wears glasses, but most often has contacts in.
• This includes sunglasses! She really likes them, and keeps a pair in her bag at all times.
• She has a bookshelf in her room, and one of the shelves is dedicated to her anime figurine collection.

• Anime! She’s not a weeb by any means. She just likes the character design and stories. She prefers slice of life, or love stories. Sailor Moon is one of her favorites, though. She wants to be the Sailor Scouts for Halloween!
• Weed. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to date the burner girl?
• Candy. What kind of girl doesn’t like candy? Her favorite is Sour Patch Watermelon.
• Participating. This can take any form, from volunteering around town and in the community, to standing up when the teacher needs a volunteer.
• Smooth music. She doesn’t like stuff that’s hard and rough just to be loud, but she can appreciate anything with a smooth groove and a slick backbone. It doesn’t matter what genre it comes from!

• People who don’t participate and contribute.
• Alcohol. It makes her sick, honest. But maybe she’s just overdone it…
• Cinnamon flavored things. It’s like a weird heat.
• Bar soap. The body wash/gel variety is much better, in her opinion.

• Volleyball team captain!
• Frequently volunteers at animal and homeless shelters
• Works with the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization
• Volunteers for things such as cleaning up highways, and keeping parks and hiking trails tidy.
• A senior girl scout
• Summer camp counselor
• Anime club
• Plans on joining the Peace Corps for one year after school. She spends a lot of time getting ready for this.
• She wants to start a club for hiking and camping and outdoorsy things once the spring/summer semester rolls around.

• Has a habit of tapping out a beat with his fingers, or pencils.
• Mimics guitar notes with his hands.
• Keeps a pencil behind his ear, so he can jot down notes or ideas that he has.
• Despite claiming he’s only into music for the girls, he really just likes to jam nowadays.
• Is incredibly ambidextrous, and can play the guitar with either hand.
• Very musically gifted

• Playing music
• Girls. More girls more happy.
• Joe Satriani
• Led Zeppelin
• Steve Vai
• Paul Gilbert
• Neil Peart
• Dave Mustaine
• Eddie Van Halen
• Zakk Wylde
• Phil Collins
• Dave Grohl
• Jareth Wells
• Nero Frost
• Jericho Snyder
• Chase & Chance Slayer
• The last five, but like… on stage together. Touch The Sky owns
• Mutiny of the Groove
• Sofia Helmsley ;)

• Screamo; he mostly dislikes the sound of their voice. He appreciates musical talent where it is
• Pop music
• Sofia Helmsley when she’s not modeling lingerie. Turns out she’s a wee bit of a bitch. Don’t meet your dream girls, kids.
• Shitty rappers. If the only positive thing coming from your music is that beat is so hard bruh, then get the fuck out of his face.
• People who don’t get it, whatever it is.

• Posts on a YouTube channel

• Frequently talks about his girlfriend, but commonly dodges attempts to meet her, even by friends and family.
• Occasionally works out at the 365 Combat Club with his cousin.
• Is a huge fan of the color blue. Currently, his walls are painted blue in his room. He’s sort of outgrown this, but not quite yet. He’s picking out a silver to paint them.
• Likes watching movies and tries to watch at least two new ones every week, more if he can.
• Does the same with music, listening to new albums as he cruises around.
• Homeschooled up until a very recent point.
• Portrays an over the top personality on social media. He posts pictures of himself flaunting cash or being ‘gangsta’ on Instagram and Twitter, and while he’s not totally unlike that once you get to meet him, it’s very much ‘turned up to eleven’ in the public eye. In fact, most paparazzi photos involve him being disgustingly average.
• Whenever a picture is taken of him, he tends to stick his tongue out. This is a habit trained to him by his mother, as a tactic to keep the press from getting good photos of him when he was a child. Now? He can’t stop.

• Cheese. He’ll take cheese over every possible food.
• The sizzling sound of bacon.
• Romantic comedies. They’re a guilty pleasure.
• Soft serve ice cream. He thinks this is the most superior kind of ice cream.
• Orange juice, the best kind of juice.
• Family dinners. Twice a month.
• Peanut butter cookies, preferably with melty chocolate to dip them in.
• Drinks with vanilla in them. Vanilla cherry is okay, but it’s just… not the same.

• The accidental web of lies he’s gotten himself into.
• When people ask about his girlfriend.
• Being cooped up inside all the time. Getting his driver’s license was a godsend, and he’s been all over the place ever since.
• Being homeschooled. It was great at first, but he’s happy to be done with it and be moving to a public school for his final year and a half.
• Owen’s potential reaction when he asks him for help.

• Absolutely none. Speaking technically, he’s a transfer student.

• Has boxes filled with composition notebooks in his closet. He has a lot of ideas, and tries his best to get every single one on paper.
• Keeps all the notes he takes in class. This dates back to 5th grade. His hope is that one day he’ll be able to give them to his child, and they won’t have to suffer through it.
• Drinks chocolate milk over regular milk whenever he can, including in his cereal

• All kinds of peanut butter. Did you know they have different kinds of flavors? Birthday cake is real good
• Noodles! He loves noodles, with butter and garlic salt and black pepper.
• Action comics! The classics, man.
• Lowkey is a huge fan of kung fu flicks
• Still really likes Danimals. You know, the little cups of smoothie yogurt that you drink?
• Explosives. What teenaged boy doesn’t though? Come on.
• Xylophone! In his opinion, it’s one of the most pleasant instruments.

• Bad movies based on animes. How can you constantly get it wrong?
• Burnt toast; the worst thing.
• Eating ice cream. Listen, it’s not that he doesn’t like the taste of it, okay? He just doesn’t like eating it, because he has sensitive teeth and it’s kinda bummer.
• Taking notes. Taking notes is a necessary evil, and he’s very careful about it and proud of the results he produces, but nonetheless dislikes doing it.
• Riding in lifted trucks. It’s a little stressful to him to not be close to the ground.

• Magic the Gathering club!

MY FIRST STREAM!
^{Originally Streamed: Jun 22, 2041}
There is the muffled crinkling sound of a hand adjusting the camera and microphone. The lense focuses on a teal-haired teenage girl with heavy, dark makeup. “...Welcome to the Garden of Eden.” She says after a few moments of silence, checking the viewfinder and ensuring that the stream is live. “As promised, I finally made a Twitch account! If you’re coming over from my Instagram, thanks bunches! If you just randomly clicked on this link from the new streamers section, welcome! My name is Eden. I’m starting high school in the fall, and I love all things alternative. I started out as an instagram model, but lots of you guys loved my Insta videos, so here I am! Live and in the flesh… sort of? Things that you guys can hope to see on this channel are makeup tutorials, beauty routines, outfits of the day, uhm… just you and I chatting together? I want to make this stream be whatever you guys want it to be. I should probably call you something other than “you guys”, huh? Streamers have gimmicks… hmm, I’ll try to think of a good one. Leave comments with your suggestions, maybe we can take a vote!” ...

TBT: DRAW MY LIFE
^{Originally Streamed: Oct 10, 2041}
“Hey Sinners! It’s thursday, and you know what that means — throwback time! My Sinners are always soooo curious about my life, so I thought we’d use this throwback thursday to try out an old YouTube trend. We’re going to...” Eden leans out of frame slightly, and returns with a white board and a rainbow array of dry erase markers. “Draw my life!” She announced excitedly, before adjusting the camera angle to do an over-the-shoulder view of her drawings. As she describes each step of the following story, she draws a small stick figure-like doodle to reflect the scene. “I’m totally shit at drawing, so I don’t even want to hear it in the chat, okay!” Eden looked over her shoulder to stick her tongue out at the camera. “We’ll start out the story in Illinois, where I was born. More specifically, Chicago. Just like everyone’s story starts, mine starts inside my mom’s belly. Take note of her short skirt… wait… her legs should be open more… that will make sense in a minute. The baby in her arms is my sister, Harlow. The guy on my mom’s left, is my father. But…” Eden crossed a big ‘X’ through the drawing of him. “He didn’t stick around for too long. He was gone before I could even reach my third birthday. And Mom… Mom moved on quick. Remember the legs thing? Yeah, it’s still a thing. Mom cycled through guy, after guy, after guy.” She drew a whole crowd’s worth of stick people around the drawing of her mother, and it wasn’t long before the drawing turned to scribbles. “You get the picture, mom’s a big slut. But, we love her, she took good care of Harlow and I. You see, me and my sister? We were best friends from the start. Mom didn’t even have to tell us to hold hands when we crossed the street, we did it automatically! I’ve always been sugar, and Harlow’s all spice, and together, we make a pretty damned good pie! But that spice I’m talking about, Harlow’s full of it. She’s the older sister, she was the first to act out. But she’s my captain, o’ captain, so of course I got in all of the same trouble, too. What was her’s, was mine, for better or for worse. She’d dress me up in clothes that she got using mom’s credit card, and then I’d model for her photo shoots. That’s how I came to meet you guys, my Sinners. If it wasn’t for my sister, my Instagram would have never taken off…”

SEEING DECIDUOUS DREAMS LIVE!!!
^{Originally Streamed: Feb 17, 2042}
“SINNERS! HOLY FUCK! It’s Eden here, reporting to you live from The Vic -motha-fuckin’- Theatre, where I am finally going to meet the man of my dreamsss! Sorry Remy, I’m totally coming to steal your boo. Do you think we’ll get to go backstage and meet Jareth, sis?” Eden turned to her sister, who responded that she was far more interested in meeting Lucas...

WE’RE MOVING?!
^{Originally Streamed: Dec 14, 2042}
“Whaddup, Sinners?” Eden asked the camera. Her orange hair was up in a messy bun, and she was surrounded by boxes and trashbags overflowing with clothing. “So… big news! Harlow fucked up big time and got in trouble with the law. Major keks. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone!” She winked at her viewers with a finger to her lips. “And mom decided that was embarassinggg, so, we’re moving? To Beverly Hills! I guess she thinks that’s punishment? In what fucking world, though?! Harlow and I are excited as fuck! See you in LA, bitchesss. I gotta go stuff more of my life into garbage bags, because I’m emo trashhh. Don’t worry, I’ll let you guys watch.” ...

MY JOURNEY INTO BECOMING A VALLEY GIRL
^{Originally Streamed: Jan 9, 2043}
“Happy Friday, Sinners! Let me tell you about my first week in LA. The shopping opportunities are out of this world, the food is hella — they say that here — hella overpriced, but tasty, and the girls at my school are fucking, straight up cunts, apparently. Good to know that I probably won’t have any friends. At least I have my Sinners! You should see the drama in the school paper, it’s like a sleazy celebrity tabloid or some shit. So-and-so’s a vapid slut, who cheated on who, lies, betrayal, TEENAGE ANGST!” A purple-haired Eden’s hand flew up to her forehead dramatically, feigning being woozy. She then cracked up laughing. “It’s not all that bad, to be honest, it’s kind of hilarious, as an outsider. I’ve never seen people with faker problems in my life. Anyway, it’s Friday, and I have a ton of unpacking left to do. But that sounds LAME, so you Sinners are just going to have to get ready with me instead. Sis and I are going to go out and explore the city, maybe sneak into a club, who knows what could happen?” Eden winked at the camera…