@Odinblegh, biographies kill me every time. Still, I should be able to make that deadline. Jutsu list is probably going to be another killer.
You know what? Yeah, you're exactly right. I don't think my lighthearted battle manga guy fits in this deep, intellectual Naruto fanfiction you guys have going either.
Guess my buddy will just have to go it alone. Sorry, man.
Review in red
Done!
Hope it all checks out.
Cheers!Nana Benzaiten
“I'm in no hurry. Take your time.” ok, i took my time with reviewing this yeah
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————▸ Name:Nana Benzaiten.
▸ Nicknames:Ben; He hates it though because it means poop. no english names, no matter how convoluted your reasoning. i'm not having it -- this isn't some wapanese attempt at making interesting kumogakure names like Ay and Bee, this is you going 'I wanna roleplay as Ben' and finding a way to make it happen
▸ Clan:Nana Clan.
▸ Rank:Genin.
▸ Sex:♂ Male.
▸ Sex appearance:♂ Male.
▸ Age:13 years old.
▸ Age appearance:He looks about his age.
▸ Sexuality:Homosexual.of course
▸ Birthplace:Amegakure.
▸ Village:Amegakure.
▸ Affiliations:x Nana Clan.
x Amegakure.
x The Amegakure Animal Shelter. in the midst of war and poverty, we do still have to find time to help strays for some reason
▸ Chakra natures:Primary nature:Yang Release. whySecondary nature:Yin Release. whyTertiary nature:Earth Release.
▸ Wardrobe:His attire in general isn't anything particularly special. For combat purposes, he wears the standard Amergakure genin uniform, though his is a slightly more form fitting to fit his thin frame. He wears the Amegakure band around his left ankle and the insignia of his own clan is engraved on a bracelet he wears around his wrist.
Outside of combat, he wears simple clothes like a t-shirt and jeans this is Naruto, not New York City circa 2018. i dont think jeans are around. Benzaiten is also known to wear garments resembling overalls and a large straw hat why. He tends to like this style for some reason. Apparently his grandfather makes a living as a farmer somewhere in the Land of Fire, so he seemingly mimics his grandfather's style whenever he comes to visit him and his sisters farmers in feudal japan farm, well, rice. I'm not sure that wearing overalls and straw hats is conductive to the image of a feudal japanese farmer. He can often be found carrying around a small drawing book that he sketches in when he is bored.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————Biography
The Nana Clan
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————▸ History:Born and raised within the confines of Amegakure, Ben always found his hometown to be somewhat ruffled. Even from a very young age, the perpetual rain was something that he could never completely attune to. This was a common complex amongst the members of his clan, a clan of cat-like shinobi who somehow settled within a city with which they had the least compatibility with of the major nations. Cats in a rainy city? What gives?
Ben had always been shy and bit withdrawn, opting to remain indoors due to the natural climate of his village. Instead of playing in the rain like the other children, he'd spend hours gazing out the window, drawing and sketching the images of the world and the people that passed before him. Like most in his clan, he would eventually learn to somewhat acclimatize to his village as he got older, but a lingering despondence would forever linger. Though still a wallflower, he would make friends like any other school child, his bloodline ability to turn into a cat especially a hit with the ladies. so you mean a literal henge no jutsu. that's not a kekkei genkai
Not that he liked girls anyways, he'd realize once he got a bit older, though he had a profound respect for them. Ben was finally entering the typical genesis of a young adolescent, discovering who he was and what he liked and so on and so forth. It didn't take long for him realize that though. He practically stalked one of his male classmates in his feline form for half a year. As the middle child of 7 siblings, life was always interesting in his clan; two of his siblings being pure felines made for interesting situations. if his homosexuality is a pivotal point of his personality instead of a side-piece of information i'm gonna be mad
When his father came back from war, it was invigorating to see him again, proud and strong and nimble, with a keen feline intuition and elusiveness. When he wasn't helping at the local animal shelter, he spent his time training in the ways of his father. Losing his mother when he was 12 was difficult to come to terms with, but he's come to realize with she will always be with him, in mind, body, and soul. you devoted more time to his respect for women and his homosexuality than the loss of his mother -- which was worth a measly 1 sentence
▸ Personality:✓ Gentle.I skipped the rest, it reminds me too much of angel eyesBen is known amongst his siblings as having always been the most agreeable of the bunch. He is sweet-natured, adorable subjective, and mild in temperament and speaks to others in a soft-spoken and gentle manner. This generally makes him endearing, loveable, and easy to talk to.✗ Shy.He is a wallflower through and through. Ben oftens feels awkward around new people and it takes longer for him to get to know them. He can be somewhat mistrusting of others. Ben gets embarrassed easily, but appreciates it when people approach him first.✓ Patient.One of his strongest qualities is that he is extremely patient. It's rare that he gets flustered by time. He has an uncanny ability and willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. This makes him perfect for prolonged situations where patience is a virtue.✗ Sensitive.Ben can sometimes become easily emotional due to surrounding factors. He cries relatively easily it's like you made him into a stereotype homosexual tbh and his feelings can get hurt easily as well. Even simple things like a starry night can make him feel nostalgic what. His siblings say he is the crybaby of the family. When someone hurts his feelings, he often distances himself from others.✓ Gentlemanly.Like a knight, Ben is very courteous and chivalrous, especially towards girls. m'lady He does quaint things like open doors for them and let them eat first. Despite being shy around people, he is actually incredibly brave and gallant, a trait that makes him quite charming.✗ Pensive.His thoughts are always flowing, so much so that he sometimes becomes a bit pensive, getting lost in deep reflective thought. He can become so introspective at times, that he can seem a bit absentminded and melancholic and lose sight of what's ahead or miss important things that someone said. Ben is known to daydream often and can appear a bit lazy because of it.✓ Cat-like Intuition.Like a cat, Benzaiten is nimble, agile, and very perceptive of his surroundings and has a keen sense for danger. He has a very strong "escape" instinct, so when he feels cornered or trapped, it provokes an uncharacteristically powerful fear-based escape behavior within him, where becomes aggressive and hostile. (This can be a good or a bad thing)✗ Insecure.He doesn't have the greatest confidence in himself or his capabilities. Ben sometimes doubts himself, especially when he cannot achieve something that he really set his heart out on doing or when people around him are stronger. Because he can become easily discouraged, it is important to reassure him otherwise.
▸ Dreams and hopes:x Befriend a Legendary Beast.
x Become a famous artist.
x Rescue as many animals as he can. how noble
x Become a chunin.
▸ Desires:x Meet his favorite painter. I didn't know he was into culture
x Befriend different types of animals.
x Go on vacation. when you live in an isolated country that has been wartorn for 100 years and has been trampled on by literally every other country, this is what you wanna do
x Cat Naps. ok angel eyes
▸ Fears:x His sisters or father dying before he does.
x Nightmares of his mother's passing.
x Animals suffering and not being able to rescue them.
x Losing his arms and hands. i think we can safely say that only the moronic or the insane do not fear this, so this feels a bit unneeded
▸ Motivations:The world is a canvas. And he sees each part of the world as an important stroke to complete the grand masterpiece. same deal here as the background. you've devoted 1 or 2 lines to his artistic ability, but somehow it servers as a great motivation for him. i'm not sure why you opted to go that route, but it does not make sense to me why you'd choose to highlight this when your backstory says that it's more important that he can change into a cat, is nice to women (?) and is gay He desires a world where everyone can be themselves and stay in balance with nature and animals. He fights for peace and to prove to himself that he is more capable than he gives himself credit for. To fight like his father, to honour his mother, and to protect his 6 sisters.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————Military
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▸ Kekkei genkai:Feline Metamorphosis ok angel eyes, at least it's not the ''emotional sensing'' thing▸ Description:Members of the Nana Clan have the natural ability to transform into a cat/feline so.. henge no jutsu, taking on all the skills and attributes associated with them. This form varies between the members, some taking on more domestic forms while others appear to take after the wilder variety. Members of the Nana Clan can remain in cat form indefinitely so as long as they sustain themselves like a normal cat would. Members of the clan who get pregnant and give birth while in cat form what the fuck. no fetish shit in my rp, have offspring who are born as cats whAT and are unable to transform into humans for their entire lives. Because of this, the clan has a mixture of human and pure cat-form members, though communication between both remains the same. Members of the Nana Clan cannot communicate verbally with other people outside the clan while in cat form, but rely on transmitting faint chakra signals that share an impression of how they are feeling or subtle desires here's the emotion thing i was talking about. it really is you. Some people understand these signals better than others.
▸ Strengths:This kekkei genkai not only grants the clan members all of the strengths, instincts, and skills of their feline form which are?, but they also possess enhanced regenerative capabilities when they rest >!?!?! why? explain it!! you just explained that they can have cat-sex and cat-babies but it says nothing about why they can regenerate by ''sleeping''?? is this a trait ALL cats have? and their saliva can be used to enhance the regenerative processes of wounds to heal others by licking them. ?!?!?!? why!?!? normally when people write stuff without explanation, it is relatively easy to figure out why they did a certain thing. but this, i just cannot comprehend honestly.
▸ Weaknesses:Remaining in cat form for too long will slowly cause the cat mentality to take over until they lose/forget to return to their human form all together okay. They are privy to all the same weaknesses as a normal feline while in feline form which are? the inability to grab weaponry because no thumbs? this is so vague it can mean anything. if i kick a cat in the head hard enough it'd die, so basically you're saying your character transforms into a weaker version of a human that is objectively just gonna be more useless during a fight.. They are especially susceptible to steel while in their feline forms, and are unable to heal properly if they are wounded by a steel-based object. so........ literally 90% of all weapons used in naruto
▸ S-rank TechniquesN/A
▸ A-rank TechniquesN/A
▸ B-rank TechniquesN/A
▸ C-rank TechniquesAltering Terrain Technique
Demonic Illusion: False Surrondings Technique
Forbidden Technique: Mud Golems
▸ D-rank TechniquesKnows all the basic genin-level D-ranked jutsus.
▸ E-rank TechniquesKnows all the basic genin-level E-ranked jutsus.
▸ Custom Jutsu:Cat Nap: Restoration
▸ Rank:C
▸ Range:Self
▸ Description:While in feline form, Ben can put himself to sleep, allowing his body to regenerate and heal his wounds. for how long, why, how does this work, is it a normal sleep?
▸ Weaknesses:The greater the wound, the longer he has to sleep i'd fucking hope so. The healing process is disrupted and will not function properly if the injury was caused by steel.
▸ Custom Jutsu:Cat Nap: Projection
▸ Rank:C
▸ Range:Long
▸ Description:While in feline form, Ben can put himself to sleep. While sleeping, he project an astral projection ok angel eyes of his human form, which he can control. The project of himself is corporeal and can interact with the environment how. His feline body will remain sleep until he recalls the projection or it is destroyed. He can also cast jutsus from his projection. what's the point of becoming a cat if you can literally just project yourself out and become an intangible corporeal form that can fight?
▸ Weaknesses:His cat form remains in slumber and is left vulnerable until his projection returns to it.
▸ Custom Jutsu:Cat Nap: Dream
▸ Rank:C
▸ Range:Area of Effect
▸ Description:While in feline form, Ben can put himself to sleep. While sleeping, he project his dreams in an area around himself, creating a genjutsu that traps thoughs near him within it.
▸ Weaknesses:This genjutsu can be dispelled in the same manner that someone would dispel a any other C-ranked genjutsu. This genjutsu ends if he wakes up.
▸ Custom Jutsu:Heal Lick
▸ Rank:C.
▸ Range:N/A
▸ Description:While in feline form, the enzymes in his saliva can heal the wounds of others by licking them. so it's the enzymes and not the chakra? cat enzymes are good for wounds now?
▸ Weaknesses:Not as potent as a normal medical technique. Licking wounds leaves a bad taste in his mouth wow what a weakness. More severe wounds just cannot be fully healed with this technique.
▸ Equipment and weaponryAltering Terrain Diagram Scroll
▸ Type:Scroll
▸ Description:This is a unique scroll that creates a diagram of the surrounding area and terrain as he moves around. This scroll is used as a medium for his terrain altering technique, that allows him to instantly make changes to terrain by modifying and altering the diagram.
Honestly I can't accept this sheet. You're giving me serious flashbacks to Angel Eyes and I strongly suspect (if not have it downright confirmed) that you are him.
First of all your insistance on playing with an English name is not good -- I specifically requested Japanese names, numerous times in the discord. Multiple people have asked for this, so it's not just me. I don't care that ''technically'' Benzaiten might be vaguely Japanese, having him call himself ''Ben'' is just dumb. I'm looking for some serious immersion here (yeah haha it's naruto, immersion??) and this won't do.
Secondarily, I just feel like you rushed yourself through the sheet, it's not complete (even if all the fields are filled in) and frankly does not come up to the standards of the other sheets I've received. Everything seems to be made specifically just so you can RP as a cat and while I don't really... mind, it does feel like you just didn't put in the effort that I have expected of others, who have gone above and beyond to create expansive sheets and expansive history with other characters/existing Amegakure lore. Some parts are short, lack explanation and feels pieced together from previous things or things you found that made you go 'hm I like this' -- it's just not cohesive.
I get that he's a genin and I get that there's not a lot of history you could write about his own history, but certainly his mother's death was worth something more than 1 line. Same goes for his father. We didn't even know he fought in a war (despite the last great war being 150 years ago) until the very last paragraph.
So I'm sorry, but I can't accept it -- both because I don't want to, and because the teams are pretty full as is and I need the space for characters that make more sense within the universe. It might be better to seek your RP experience elsewhere.
Masazane, Kiken
“No.” denied
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————▸ Name:Masazane, Kiken
▸ Clan:Masazane
▸ Rank:Genin
▸ Sex:♂
▸ Sex appearance:♂
▸ Age:14
▸ Age appearance:16I'd say he looks about his age but I'll see what his additional appearance info says
▸ Sexuality:Heterosexual
▸ Birthplace:Amegakure
▸ Village:Amegakure
▸ Affiliations:x Masazane
x Amegakure
▸ Chakra natures:Primary nature:RaitonSecondary nature:KatonTertiary nature:Doton
▸ Appearance:Kiken's most notable appearance feature is the large number of connected tatoos on his body. Given his choice of clothing the most common visual ones are the ones on his hands and the back of his neck. Aside from that, there are few other key features to note. Typical of the Masazane clan, he has dark hair, often tinted even darker from his constant work with metals. Additionally, he has intensely dark eyes. Kiken comes in average in height for his age group (164 cm). Kiken often looks thinner than he actually is, but comes in at roughly 49 kg this is... very light I think, but due to his frame and the lack of overly developed muscle tone, he can physically seem easily dismissed - especially coupled with his generally lose fitting outerwear. Given his tinkering and smith work, he actually has decent muscle tone just from the continuous work. so what I infer is that he has about average physique for a ninja?
▸ Wardrobe:Kiken's attire varies depending on what he is doing. Casually, he will wear an outfit akin to the picture. However, when actually working (or combat), the clothing tend sto utilize the same coloring, but go with a tighter fit on his body. The scarf, during working, is used is removed and instead a cloth mask covers his mouth and nose, something that is sewn into most of his shirts and is made of a naturally filtering material to avoid inhalation of toxic chemicals from things he is working on. Additionally, Kiken has a pair of glasses that can have a seal release to switch between clear and tinted lenses. thats so stupid lol
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————Biography
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————▸ History:Kiken is the heir to the Masazane clan, providing approximately 54 people die before him. Kiken's father Iyo is the least favorite son of Masazane Io, the current head of the clan and the wielder of the Tamashi no Tanren [Forge of Souls].
Kiken grew up disconnected from much of his family, as no one aside from his immediate family would interact with Iyo or one of Iyo's sons. Despite the distance from the core, Kiken did not have as tough of a childhood as many others in Amegakure, due to the nature of the family business in weaponcraft. Even with the inability to put the official Masazane stamp on his productions, Iyo made enough money undercutting the rest of the family by not having to give a cut to the clan leadership, something that was only sustainable because Iyo was capable enough of a smith on his own to provide solid pricing, as well as quality.
As for why Kiken grew up disconnected from the rest of the family is the three sins of his father. The first was getting an unapproved woman pregnant, the second was not allowing the clan leadership to 'take care of the woman issue', and the third was marrying the woman and bringing her back to Amegakure. And, as an added bonus, they decided to rub against the common naming themes of the family. Of course, to make matters even more fantastic, Iyo and Touzoku, the wife he ostracized himself over, divorced when Kiken was 8. It was also the first time his grandfather even chose to acknowledge his existence, making an attempt to visit his grandson shortly after the divorce, just prior to his 9th birthday. When asked by his father if he wished to see his grandfather, he simply replied with, "No." Then, in true Masazane style, went back to work tinkering on a project he had begun.
The relationship with his grandfather 'warmed' over the year, mostly due to grudging acknowledgement that relationships with the rest of the clan meant he had access to the clan's wealth and network from their weapons trade. As well, it meant Kiken had, and would take advantage of, access to skills outside of his father's specialty. No longer would Kiken be forced to reinvent the wheel of his craft due to lack of adequate teachers.
Kiken would spent most of his time bouncing between residences. He was obligated to spend time at the residences of his extended family as he was trained, but also obligated to spend time at each of his parents. As a result, Kiken learned to pack light, not get attached to a lot of possessions, and walk on a political tightrope when speaking.
While many children may be upset their parents had split up (if they were even still alive in the climate Ame was going through), Kiken was grateful for the separation. He recognized early on that had the not been separated, it would have meant any relationship with the rest of the clan would have resulted in absolutely no break from what he called the 'Masazane nonsense'. At least when he visited his mother, he was able to spend a weekend here or there not being a Masazane. And, as a bonus, it gave Kiken a mental break from the rigors of learning the clan's skills to learn something entirely new.
Touzoku was an assassin by trade, with medical training and knowledge, which partially probably kept her alive despite some of the inclination of the Masazane to have her disappear. Also from a complicated family background from being a product of some of the less savory parts of the shinobi world, Tozouku put little pressure on Kiken to do anything, knowing others had that duty sufficiently covered. Kiken took advantage of time with his mother to learn a number of supplementary skills to his own weaponcraft - mostly covering fuuinjutsu with a touch of Raiton. Touzoku, as well as Kiken, knew that to learn the medical arts would force him into an eventual choice of which skills to focus on, which would only make things more complicated with the rest of the Masazane. as much as i appreciate the diverse background, it sort of sounds like you want him to be a jack of all trades (which is fine in and of itself) but at the same time have him highly specialized in everything.
Clan Hierarchy & Focus
The Masazane clan hierarchy is determined through a yearly test of skill and overall commerce. Heralded as some of the best smiths in the world, the Masazane clan has a gift with the shaping of metal.
Clan leadership is determined by whichever members of the clan has the most verified sales of weapons or by any individual who has completed a work of superb caliber. After those members are identified, they are faced with forging a sword for a champion of their choice in a contest known as the Tetsu no Shōtotsu [Clash of Iron]. The winner, by either through defeating an opponent or by breaking the sword of the opposing champion, becomes leader of the clan. Lethal attacks are considered a violation of the rules of the current Tetsu no Shōtotsu, but this is has only been the rules for the last few years.
Clan History
Originally from the Land of Iron, the Masazane are an old clan and have forged weapons for the samurai from the land for their entire existence. Smithwork in the Land of Iron was considered exceptionally noble, and much like nobles trade marry off children to other royals, the early smiths of the Masazane clan used their children to form connections with other smiths.
One smith, whose original name was long forgotten, was said to have had so many sons and to have made the most legendary weapons, that he was only referred to by his surname. Owning a weapon of the smith Masazane, or being married into his family (to be able to put the Masazane stamp on their productions), was considered an badge of honor. After awhile, all of the smith families within the Land of Iron were related.
Once the original Masazane died, leadership of the family fell into chaos. It was proposed by Masazane's third son that they determine who is to lead the clan through the Tetsu no Shōtotsu. It was not unheard of in the early days for this to be a bloody affair with assassinations of smiths and champions alike. After the first Tetsu no Shōtotsu, leadership of the clan fell to Masazane's fifth son, Ito, who was considered to be almost as skilled as his father.
Ito would run the Masazane in the longest reign of the clan for over 63 years. With the heavy relation to a singular bloodline, many of the Masazane developed the ability to manipulate steel through a kekkei genkai known as Kōton, using a mixture of the fire and earth elements. It was also not unheard of for members to develop Jiton either in addition to Kōton or as a solitary alternative. this part would be cut out then
After the reign of Masazane Ito, leadership of the clan fell once again into disarray with leadership cycling repeatedly through a series of smiths that were closely matched between each other. Each year, the one currently in power would lose to one of the smiths he had defeated the year before. This period lead to the exodus of the clan from the Land of Iron to Amegakure, a gimmick one of the Masazane clan's leaders had suggested as a way to provide access to more markets for their goods.
It would not be for over hundreds of years before the leadership would yet again stabilize. However, this stabilization of leadership would continue to the reign of Masazane Io, who has lead the clan for the last 62 years. Io is often considered the reincarnation of the original founder of their clan with near unrivaled skill in the forging of weapons and the manifestation of both Jiton and Kōton at a high level. This is often considered because of Io's great number of male heirs (in order of preference by Io - Iro, Iao, Iso, Iho, Ieo, Ipo, Ino, Ido, Iio, Iwo, Ibo, Iko, Igo, Iuo, Iyo).
Masazane Io currently has provided the Masazane clan a level of prosperity unusual for Amegakure, solely through their clan reserves and historical networks of weapons trading that have persisted despite the political climate. which is likely to face them problems in the future if a large scale war does erupt and disrupts their trade network completely
Misc: While rare, some Masazane do forge weapons for themselves for the Tetsu no Shōtotsu. Most members of the clan fall under competent or skilled with a weapon. For the Tetsu no Shōtotsu most form relationships with kenjutsu masters.
It is said some still participate in an underground version of the Tetsu no Shōtotsu known as the Ketsueki no Shōtotsu [Clash of Blood] as a form of gambling or a way to display power between Tetsu no Shōtotsu.
▸ Personality:✓ RealistKiken acknowledges his clan's resources and chooses to take advantage of them.✗ BitterKiken dislikes much of the Masazane clan because of a healthy mix of dislike over the way he and his immediate family were treated as well as their general exploitation of the world's climate to make themselves wealthier✓ IndependentKiken largely knew how to function on his own to balance the interests of all of his family's interests.✗ LongingKiken wishes to be able to separate himself from the complications of his family and have close relationships that are less work✓ Inquisitive/Open MindedKiken likes learning new skills and finds it relaxing.✗ Trust IssuesGiven the politics of his clan, Kiken sometimes struggles to separate the genuine from those working an angle.✓ HonestHas no issue telling anyone, especially politely, what he feels they should hear.✗ RebeliousishWill occasionally disregard authority when they exert their authority for authority's sake.
▸ Dreams and hopes:x Creating a true masterwork
x Start his own business
x Owning his own home, complete with workshop
x Getting promoted
x BONUS: Defeating the huns and/or becoming Hokage while possessing 45.5 Sharingan.
▸ Desires:x Eliminate the clan's status quo
x Finding a vision of success outside of his family's name
x Reconcile the complications of his family
x Finishing upgrades on his various projects
▸ Fears:x The clan will continuing functioning as-is
x He will not be 'Kiken', just another Masazane for outsiders (aka customers) this is probably already the situation
x Family will make life even more complicated
x Stagnating
▸ Motivations:Kiken is goal oriented, so he is motivated by events that advance him towards accomplishing his goals, hopes, and dreams without compromising his moral fiber. I'd expected a little bit more here but fair enough
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▸ Kekkei genkai:Sōzō no Hi [Fires of Creation]▸ Description:The Masazane clan’s Kekkei Genkai, the Sōzō no Hi, confers upon its bearers several manifestations of power:
The first manifestation is that the bearer of this Kekkei Genkai can instinctively can identify the age, origin, creator, composition, and intended use of a crafted object - a power not limited to metal objects. The Masazane believe, by virtue of this aspect of their Kekkei Genkai, that each object is infused with a part of its creator's essence—which additionally enables them to sense significant events that have occurred surrounding the object they are identifying, but the significance of such events must be fairly high, to the point that only objects with some kind of folklore or a particularly long stint of use carry such information.
The second manifestation of the Sōzō no Hi is the development of combination release(s). Most commonly this is the development of Kōton [Steel Release]. OK, I'm going to revise what I told you before. I am against giving your character both koton and jiton. For obvious reasons. But because your clan history details that they are not so much a clan as much as a federation of smiths that marry each other (and who adapted the name of Masazane purely for economical reasons) it is not unlikely that certain individuals might get either jiton or koton (but never both). You can conjure up a reasoning genetically for yourself -- but my reasoning is that smiths who had jiton might have had kids who had jiton, and smiths that had koton might've had kids with koton, and some smiths may not have had a KG at all. So, there are two distinct KG's that are prevalent in the clan -- but they are not inherent to the clan, and are more a result of political marriages (i.e. if a Senju married into the Uchiha clan, and adapted the Uchiha name (which typically does not happen) then their Senju traits (virility and so forth) would not suddenly become part of the Uchiha clan, and most likely would only be passed onto their direct off spring.) I hope my explanation was cohesive, but basically, the sheet as you have it here now is fine. I'd suggest making KOTON his kekkei genkai -- and turning the craftsmanship thing where he can determine a creator or so forth into a hiden peculiar to the Masazane to stay true to the bloodline limit thing. (Also, determining creators etc. just doesn't seem like a kekkei genkai to me).
The third manifestation allows the bearer to perform both simple and complex manipulations on any crafted object that are intimately familiar with (i.e., something that they themselves have created or something of generic design) at whim, to the point that the metal might seemingly appear to be a liquid instead the solid it actually is. This ability scales with the bearer’s overall knowledge and skill in both metalworking and in chakra control, allowing very simple manipulations at a basic level that can become extremely complex when the bearer is considered a true master of their craft. I am not sure what the direct effects are of this so you might need to explain it. This is a passive ability, no? But I don't understand what it does. I might need a better example than solid appearing liquid.
▸ Strengths:A highly adaptable kekkei genkai that is mostly bound to the creative whims of the wielder.
▸ Weaknesses:While powerful, the Sōzō no Hi is not without limitations. Ultimately, most of the techniques utilizing the KG are easily avoided or deflected referring to koton, this might be a weakness specific to koton, which is why I propose you make the other parts into a hiden or even just a hiden custom technique (even by techniques lower in rank), as well the Masazane must have made contact with a metal object in order to utilize their power not really a weakness as much as a limitation. Objects with significant amount of foreign chakra can make utilization of some of the clan techniques more difficult, if not impossible depending on the level of those involved.
▸ S-rank Techniques
▸ A-rank Techniques
▸ B-rank Techniques
▸ C-rank Techniques
▸ D-rank TechniquesNA Sōshuriken no Jutsu [Manipulated Shuriken Technique] dope
Kōton: Funsai [Shatter]
Kōton: Yōsai [Fortify]
Kōton: TUUJNEEDSTONAME [Fortify]
Gaman [Patience]
Kagayaku Yoroi [Shining Armor]
▸ E-rank Techniques
at this point we have at least 2 clans who do things specifically with fuinjutsu. i really see no need to add this to your character as koton on it's own is already immensely powerful in my eyes and there are far more interesting things you can do with steel. i'm not gonna say no, i'm just disappointed that you didn't focus on a specific niche or thing for your character to focus on
▸ Custom Jutsu:Kagayaku Yoroi [Shining Armor]
▸ Rank:D
▸ Range:Personal
▸ Description:The technique is only a specific adaptation of the Unsealing Technique. Kiken released the armor pieces stored within the seals tattooed onto his body (in either the full set or piecemeal). It is style as traditional samurai style armor, an homage to when they served as smiths within the Land of Iron. One of the unique parts of this armor is that much of it is comprised of a series of interlinking pieces on its exterior layer, which has the current benefit of allowing damaged segments to be replaced versus the whole armor. It also is a part of a future technique for Kiken.
▸ Weaknesses:The armor does add weight to Kiken's body, which does slow him down and has the same limitations normal armor would (points where the armor has a gap). Of course, Raiton and Katon can be especially problematic given it does not offer any mitigation from electrocution or burning. fair enoughKōton: Yōsai [Fortify]
▸ Rank:D
▸ Range:Personal/Short
▸ Description:A simple technique that can be completed with a single handsign that can significantly bolster the strength of a piece of metal in contact with Kiken (or close proximity) weakness states specifically that you have to touch it. consistency by channeling Kōton chakra through the weapon. ehhhhhhhhhh By virtue of utilizing Kōton chakra, this provides extreme heat resistance depending on the amount of chakra used. This can also be used to make an metal object more dense, providing material exists. For Masazane, this usually comes from weapons stored within Enclosing Seals or the earth around them. This technique is also a large part of the basis for their physical manipulations of metal, allowing for metal they have extended contact with to bend and extend without breaking or even necessarily compromising its strength providing they are increasing the mass appropriately from other resources.
▸ Weaknesses:This depends on the object that it is being used on. However, ultimately, this does not prevent Raiton techniques from being conducted through the metal or the technique from being overwhelmed by sheer power unless Kiken remains exceptionally committed to the reinforcement. For the manipulation aspect, a graduate would be able to easily bend and extend their weapon. ... this isn't a weaknessGaman [Patience]
▸ Rank:D
▸ Range:Physical Contact
▸ Description:Transfers an Enclosing Seal storing a single stored object onto something else that can be released from the seal even without contact with the new seal.
▸ Weaknesses:Seal is visible and can be removed with appropriate countersealing techniques which almost nobody has -- fuinjutsu is a rare thing to see and most people do not grasp it properly to the level that they can seal things randomly (look at Jiraiya being able to tell specifically who made a certain seal, inferring that seals are very rare and linked to the person that made them). I don't really see this as a weakness and it's pretty much like back in the old days everyone tacked 'genjutsu' onto their cahracters weaknesses because nobody used it. it's a freebie. This seal cannot be transferred to materials with a high concentration of foreign chakra. The eventually release cannot be used to summon and object within an object.Kōton: Funsai [Shatter]
▸ Rank:D
▸ Range:Contact Required
▸ Description:Shatters, and potentially reshapes, a metal object that is in physical contact of the user (or through a line of metal under their control) into various size pieces.
▸ Weaknesses:Items with significant foreign chakra prevent this technique from being used on them (IE most special weapons). as it requires contact, the close proximity also allows the opponent to easily attack you (and given your lack of offensive jutsu and no specific taijutsu or kenjutsu element in your history... that will go very badly for your genin in almost all cases)....... right?TUUJNEEDSTONAME @Tuujaimaa get on it
▸ Rank:D
▸ Range:Contact
▸ Description:TUUJNEEDSTONAME allows the user to pull metal from nearby surroundings/objects in order to create a weapon. although canonically i think koton users can create metal from their bodies, i think this is better fitting to the 'smith' thing The number and complexity of the created object determines the amount of chakra, handsigns, and times it takes for the technique to be enacted, as well as the skill of the user. A basic graduate of the Masazane line worth his/her salt would be able to easily create shuriken from the earth with only a short bit of contact. This technique can also be used, should there be a need, to pull raw materials from the ground.
▸ Weaknesses:The same weaknesses any standard weapons would have.
▸ Rank:D
▸ Range:Personal
▸ Description:
▸ Weaknesses:
▸ Equipment and weaponryHyakugei [Jack-of-All-Trades]i'm... sorry, do you really need this? you have sealing, koton, doton, can create weapons from thin air, and now you also need a gauntlet that can literally do 20x and more? i get that he's supposed to be a tinker and i think that's great and all but i see no reason for this to be here at the moment beyond 'i think its cool'
▸ Type:Gauntlets
▸ Description:With guidance from his clan, Kiken has created his primary craft tool. The gauntlets, which extend over the top of the hand, are a product of Kiken's imagination. Inscribed into the metal with painstaking artistry is a series of weapon seals, which, when released allow the Hyakugei to alter its function by adding different attachments. Currently, Kiken has a large, shield capable of covering the entire front of his body in each of them which can be unleashed with a single handsign. Additionally, the gauntlet possesses a crossbow attachment that can be operated without direct hand contact, including the reloading which is done via a separate seal (if desired). Each gauntlet possesses a blade that can similarly be pointed towards the front and/or back of his body, measuring about the length of a standard katana, with a less significant curve. Lastly, the gauntlets each contain an attachment for spools of wire that can be connected to throwing weapons. The Hyakugei is designed specifically with significant exposure to Masazane chakra, making it much more cooperative with Masazane clan abilities and is naturally fortified. While crafted specifically for Kiken, it was interwoven with seals (IE: Fortify), so it would be able to be used by a non-Masazane.
▸ Equipment and weaponryKizoku Eizō [Noble Reflection]same as above
▸ Type:Unique Weapon
▸ Description:Kizoku Eizō is a rectangular tube with nine forward facing holes in it that attaches to a rotating disc worn at Kiken's hips, just below his waist. The single hole that is not a part of a symmetrical pair houses a spear-like projectile on a strong metal cord, which is able to have some significant degree of manipulation in flight with chakra. These cords can be retracted via an internal winch or entirely disengaged. The spear-like end can release additional protrusions to reinforce its grip on whatever it is lodged into. The remaining spots are merely used to launch a crossbow like bolt. The Kizoku Eizō is designed specifically with significant exposure to Masazane chakra, making it much more cooperative with Masazane clan abilities and is naturally fortified. While crafted specifically for Kiken, it was interwoven with seals (IE: Fortify), so it would be able to be used by a non-Masazane.
▸ Equipment and weaponrySealed Masazane Tools and Weapons
▸ Type:Various
▸ Description:Many of these objects are stored within the connected seals on Kiken's body and primarily released through the seals on his palm. Throwing weapons can be released with tags already attached.
- 75 Explosive Tags
- 30 Flash Tags
- 30 Smoke Bombs
- 125 Shuriken
- 5 Katana
- 25 Ninjato
- 1 LHC
- 75 Kunai
- 300 Arrows/bolts
- 300 Makibishi
- 250 feet of sharp wire
i am most definitely not gonna count your equipment and quite frankly i see no reason to list these. what's a LHC? why does he need FIVE katanas? 25 ninjato? what is he, a hoarder? wtf
Overall it's accepted but I need you to think very deeply on why you think the gauntlets and the weapon he has is a good addition to the character. imho it just feels tacked on and feels like you've just stacked a couple of strong things into 1 character
- koton
- jiton (which you've already removed)
- fuinjutsu (a rare thing that requires specialization most of the time)
- a gauntlet that is hyper versatile and feels more like a unique legandary artifact than something crafted by a genin (and effectively negates most of the penalties for having to get in close range to do most his jutsu)
- a weapon that does much the same
- a shit tonne of hoarded weapons
I can literally disarm him and he'd just go 'heh... nothing personnel..' and just unseal another 20 ninjato. why? what's the point?
I'm gonna need some additional clarification and edits I think
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