@Reflection

I'm not sure if Indra was clear about this when you were working on this concept, but we're not accepting reincarnations or jinchuuriki at this time. So the premise of Mu's backstory is very much contradicting this. I think this misunderstanding could've been avoided if Indra made that clear in the rules or questions about such a high concept brought to the GM staff's attention prior to you spending time writing up the idea.

On top of this, we are not accepting “??” ranks. Indra is asking for prodigies to have three C ranks at the most, so anything higher will immediately be subject for application rejection. So if you are going to revise Mu keep that in mind. I'd also like to mention that we are starting as academy students and not genin; even if graduation is around the corner.

<Snipped quote by Inkarnate>

The ??? ranks were mostly because they're must the means of utilizing genjutsu. Since I don't want to get hyper specific with what is essentially illusions that can change depending on the setting.

As for the reincarnation thing, it's a split personality. She's not actually a reincarnation. Those of the Kurama clan with superior genjutsu power all form split personalities, and the clan believes these split personalities are their ancestors, and thus the personality takes after that belief.

Soul Lee [+]

"Known throughout the Five Shinobi Nations, the reputation of a mighty hero echoes far and wide! When they speak of her impossible taijutsu skill and raw physical might, they're talking about me - The Incredible Soul Lee!"

Glad to know that she's modest, at the very least.

Character Fields

Name|Aliases
Lee Soul

Age|Gender
13/Female

Clan|Rank
Lee/Student

Affiliations
Konohagakure
Physical Description
Standing at 140 centimeters tall and weighing 42 kilograms, Soul is easily on the smaller side of the spectrum in terms of size - however, this is not indicative of her personality in the slightest. Whether because she was born as a girl into the Lee clan, or she was simply lucky, she lacks the thick eyebrows and dark hair that are characteristic of her clan.Not going for the classic lee aesthetic. smh. Her hair is cider brown, and kept short due to how longer hair is easier to grab in close quarters. Fitting for her small stature, Soul's voice is high-pitched, yet she can easily talk over most people in a room and grab attention quickly.

She wore the signature green jumpsuit of the Guy and Lee clans when she was beginning her training, but once her favorite training spot was taken by Kaminarimon Corporation's rapid expansion and construction, she adopted an orange mechanic's jumpsuit to protect against the large amount of soot and grime. Ever since then, she rarely wears anything other than the jumpsuit, only wearing formal clothes in the most necessary of cases. She wears very thick steel-toed boots, due to a time when she stepped on a nail in the Freight yard, forcing her to rest for weeks without training. When performing her "Hero Work," Soul wears a black Fukumen and Zukin on her head in order to "Hide her secret identity." In reality, it is to pay homage to the ninja that saved her life as a child.

Characterization & Prestige
Soul is hot-headed, extremely stubborn, thickheaded, and is overall a very dramatic person. She rarely uses an inside voice, and seems to do her best to appear larger than life, despite her very small size. One of her most obvious traits is that she gives herself grandiose titles, typically lying blatantly about her achievements, or embellishing and exaggerating them to ridiculous proportions. She is addicted to the idea of being a "Hero," doing her best to help as many people in the village as possible, even at the expense of her own free time and her grades - to the point where she would commit incredible sacrifices for the most petty and insignificant of reasons if it meant someone else was less inconvenienced. Soul sticks extremely close to a set of morals and rules, which she follows with ironclad focus and usually murmurs to herself when a situation related to them comes up - the very first of which being that she does not use genjutsu or ninjutsu, as Taijutsu is, in her eyes, the most "Pure and Heroic" of the standard Ninja arts (As well as the fact that it costs a large amount of money to learn techniques in the modern day...)Okay, real review stuff starts now. Stuff like Ninjutsu and Genjutsu training isn't learned as a separate course but is wrapped up in the totality of Ninja training. So while applying to the optional ninja classes may be expensive, there are no added expenses to learn things like Ninjutsu and genjutsu. Think of it like being enrolled in a military school, since that's essentially what a ninja academy is, if a rather lax one. Due to her intense following of the rules, her absolute devotion to her training and volunteerism, and the eagerness she reports violations to the Konoha police force, Soul has made very few friends of her age, leaving her almost a social pariah among her peer group.

Most of the children her age view Soul as a goody-two shoes and a snitch, but most adults, especially the ones that work in the freight yard where she trains and the police force, see her as an incredibly hard worker and someone who does her best to help others.

Origin Story
Soul was born as a member of the Lee clan, and the single child to her mother and father. Soul spent the earliest parts of her childhood with very little struggle or want for anything, even though her clan wasn't known for their fabulous wealth. She had little plans for her adult life, mostly enjoying the here and the now. She occasionally got into trouble because of her short temper and hotheadedness, but she never seriously tried to hurt anyone and usually was the one to end up worse off after starting a fight. She was a far cry from her current self, which didn't begin to arise until she was eight.

At the age of eight, Soul became lost while playing in the woods - she never discovered how far she had gotten away from Konoha, but she didn't return to the village until nearly two days had passed. After collapsing from exhaustion and nearly blacking out, a ninja from Otogakure discovered her - after feeding and giving her water, he had explained that he was a chuunin on a (D-ranked) mission to gather supplies from Konoha and to return back to his village. He had quickly returned Soul to Konoha, despite the fact that he had already gathered the supplies needed to complete his mission. The ninja left without asking for any reward, before Soul could even ask his name. His kindness had left a massive impact on Soul's life and development, sparking her burning passion for becoming a hero and ninja.While I like the idea you have of her being inspired to be a ninja by the action of another ninja, this scenario is too mundane in my opinion, and she would've been found long before she met this guy. Remember that not only do the Byakugan and Sensor ninja exist, but Inuzuka hounds(which would definitely be available to the police force) would easily find her within hours, at most, of her disappearance being reported

From then on, she trained nearly every day, doing her best to replicate the ninja that had saved her life. Due to the Lee clan having a lack of funds compared to many other clans in Konoha (a large chunk of which were being spent simply to send Soul to the academy)Now while you are given the majority of control over how the clan you chose functions, the gm's found it a bit hard to believe that the entirety of the lee clan would have trouble paying theextra funds to send one student to ninja academy, even if they're one of the poorer clans, simplely because clans tend to have quite a few people in them to shoulder the budget. In all honesty, if you're apart of a clan, then you can probably afford well enough. Someone without a clan, however, would have a significantly harder time of it., Soul was forced to rely on the taijutsu her family was known for in order to accoplish her goals. She entered the academty as soon as possible, and even with intense practice in taijutsu and her physical training, she refused to learn any form of ninjutsu or genjutsu - combined with her poor academics, this quickly gave her some of the lowest grades in her class. She is still seen as one of the worse in her class, both due to her self-imposed restrictions and her unwillingness to use techniques outside of her limited specialization (AKA, literally anything besides Taijutsu and Shurikenjutsu)

Character Development & Conceptualization
OOC: I'd love to see the massive differences between the Taijutsu of old and the rapid development of technology in the modern age. Even more than this, I'd like to see how an extremly stubborn and rigid character like Soul would interact with other ninja her own age - especially if they went against her moral compass. Or if She was ever put in a position where she was forced to go against her own self-imposed rules in order to save people.

IC: Soul wants to help as many people as humanly possible, viewing her life as a gift from the ninja that saved her life - she could care less about ninja ranks, and only pursues higher ranks in order to take higher ranking missions, that could help more people. She wishes to eventually help all the people of Konoha accomplish their dreams, but even more than this, she wishes to find and thank the ninja that had saved her life and led her down the path to being a true hero.

Conceptualization: While initially starting off very similar to both Rock Lee and Might Guy, I tried to differentiate her heavily by making her motivations far more different. Rather than trying to be a "ninja that only uses taijutsu," I attempted to use the lack of prevalence that the Lee clan holds to excuse the lack of focus on other jutsu - in the modern day, learning many jutsu is very expensive due to commercialization, and some people simply can't afford that. This is exemplified in the fact that Soul's skill in Ninjutsu and Genjutsu is never mentioned - she simply does not care if she is skilled in their use, as she cannot afford to learn any even if she was. While both her and Rock Lee have strong moral compasses, they differentiate heavily in personality - Rock Lee is polite, refuses to give up, and is not above using dangerous taijutsu on his opponents (seriously, the front and reverse lotus are ridiculously deadly). Soul, meanwhile, is brash, quick to anger and steadfast in her morals, her strict training caused more by her extremely potent discipline and adherence to her self-imposed rules, rather than Rock Lee's motivation and perseverance to be a ninja.No issues here, I actually really like the idea of this character and think she provides some interesting counter-points in relation to the rest of the cast. Honestly, if you wanted to keep the poverty angle, then maybe making her clanless might work better. Also makes her the Sakura of the group in that she doesn't have clan backing like everyone else, which could be explored in interesting ways. Food for thought, but it really depends on what aspects of the concept that you feel is more important to the charrie over all

Triple T's

Talents

Mechanics
Perhaps "Repairs" would be a better descriptor, but Soul's skill in fixing and operating machinery far exceeds her skill in fixing most other things. Due to her devoting all time not used for training to help out the people of Konoha, Soul has a large degree of experience with repairing things that most villagers were too lazy or confused to fix themselves - usually things such as doors or creaky doorsteps. Her real experience comes from the Freight Yard she trains in - the employees there have used her as cheap labor as she would work for a simple "Thanks" - as a result, she has become very intimate with complex machinery, which is jarring considering she is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Okay, now we're getting into the bigger issues with the sheet. It doesn't make sense for a girl of 13 years to be able to fix things like complex machinery, nor do I believe the freight workers would let a little girl do their job for them, for reasons of safety and accountability, if nothing else. Plus, this connection with the freight guys isn't mentioned at all in her backstory, and while I get not adding every little detail, this seems like something that should've been touched on in the bio, at least a little. But ye, I'd probably bump this town to her knowing her way around a toolbox because of how much she helps people fix things, but her having similar skills to a mechanic doesn't really work, not with this reasoning anyway.

Taijutsu
It is no surprise that a member of the Lee clan is skilled in Taijutsu - compared to most members of her clan, Soul is not especially unique in her taijutsu skill or physical traits. Despite this, compared to the average ninja, she is a taijutsu specialist of extreme prowess, if only due to the fact that most ninja don't focus on taijutsu as heavily as their ninjutsu. She refuses to learn fatal techniques, as killing is against her moral code.Tone this bit down a bit. She's a 13 yr old girl that has yet to actually graduate, so saying she's more skilled than the avg. ninja, which includes both Chunin and Jonin, is a bit much for a character who isn't supposed to be a prodigy. I get that she's supposed to share similarities with Lee, but Lee was a prodigy of taijutsu himself. In essence, you need to limit the scope of her abilities so that she can be better than the avg. student or genin in this field.

Physical Fitness
Soul is incredibly devoted to her physical training, and is supported entirely in this effort by her Clan members. She had been training ever since she was saved by a ninja from Otogakure at the age of 8, and has trained 5-6 days a week ever since, usually for 6 hours or more. At her current level of physique, she puts the vast majority of ninja to shame physically - her large degree of strength and moderate skill in shurikenjutsu has allowed her access to a very unique fighting style. She is incredibly fast, to the point where few can match her speed - and her large amount of stamina makes those that can keep up with her unlikely to do so for long. Same as above, this needs to be toned down to be more in line with the power level we're going with here.

Pain tolerance/Durability
Even with her Physical Fitness being ridiculous for someone her age, Soul is exemplary when it comes to the amount of pain and damage she can take without falling unconscious. She had been especially focused this trait during her training, upon realizing the danger being a shinobi presented. While she rarely uses the Eight Gates outside of her training, this Pain Tolerance has allowed her to fight far longer than most people should, and minor injuries are sometimes completely ignored - The fact that she cannot feel paper cuts anymore was a source of great amusement to younger children in the village. This freakish resilience to pain has made her a natural Eight Gates user.
Okay, a lot of the GM's were really iffy on this ability, mainly because it's one of those weird ones that can be abused. Not only that but unless her nerves don't function properly, having this level of pain tolerance naturally doesn't make sense. Toughness and Pain tolerance are things you build up natural throughout your life, not something you're born with. A better way to run this would be that "her training has made her tougher as well as strong due to the wear and tear on her body, so she can take quite a beating" or something of that nature. And even then it might be a little . . . iffy. honestly, I think that being a Strong Fist taijutsu specialist and someone attempting to learn 8 gates already implies a certain level of toughness without explicitly stating it.

Shurikenjutsu
The only form of Ranged combat that Soul is willing to use, she is fairly average when it comes to normal shurikenjutsu - her real talent comes when she uses heavier ranged weapons. Due to her intense training, she is physically strong enough to throw far heavier objects than others would be able to, with similar speed and accuracy to those using lighter weapons. This has resulted in her using ridiculously sized objects that she finds mid battle as ranged weapons.I wanna say that's not how throwing things works, like, at all, but also I realize that this is an anime-based rp, so physics are a bit relative. . . but only a bit, in this case. Can she lift? Yes. Can she lift 'ridiculously sized' things and chuck them as quickly and accurately as a shuriken? Not even close. Like with everything else, ya need to tone it down a few notches and try to keep it more within realistic parameters. We're newbie genin, so we ain't going to be doing any really crazy shenanigans like that, not yet at least.

Tools
Weights
Weights, one of the cornerstones in tools for the Lee clan. They are worn around the ankles, and weigh enough where Soul only moves slightly faster than other students her age. When doing upper body exercises and practicing her punching, she wears the weights on her arms instead. In serious situations, Soul will use her Shurikenjutsu skills to throw the weights at opponents, usually when they are too far away to hit with taijutsu. Her weights are only removed in the event of a serious fight that has very high stakes or results in the suffering of other people.
Weights probably aren't 'Lee' specific tools, and just know that you aren't going to be moving at Rock Lee speeds when they're removed. As stated before, Rock Lee was a taijutsu prodigy and also, most importantly, had already been a genin training under Might guy for a full year. Soul can wear them and she can get noticeably faster when she takes them off, but nothing drastic and crazy as we saw in Lee v. Gara.

Senbon
Senbon are metal needles, pointed at both ends. While mostly seeing use in medical ninjutsu and assassination, Soul uses them as a ranged weapon when no improvised weapons are found. She carries dozens, if not hundreds on her person at all times.This is more of a personal issue, but why Senbon? The amount of precision and medical know-how required for them to be even the tiniest bit useful is way beyond anything you've stated for her. And without that medical know-how, and since Soul seems unlikely to use poison, than Senbon are more of an annoyance than a threat, as she can't really throw out a barrage of hundreds of senbon with just two hands, and they would hardly even be that much more effective if she could. I think a better tool for Soul would likely be either something that helps her taijutsu somehow, Fuma Shuriken, or really anything that doesn't require as much precision and skill to use as Senbon.

Techniques

D Rank [+]

Dynamic Entry
Leaf Gale
Leaf Whirlwind

C Rank [+]

Shadow of the Dancing Leaf

Misc [+]

Eight Gates
(Soul is barely able to open the 3rd gate during her training, and she is unable to use the 3rd gate in combat at all due to the stress on her body.)
Strong Fist

Miscs

Soul's strict adherence to her self-imposed restrictions and her refusal to use ninjutsu or genjutsu has caused her to be one of the weaker members of her class, despite her incredibly powerful taijutsu and physical form.

Soul refuses to use the Eight Gates unless people's lives are at stake.
Okay so, 3 gates is a bit much, though I don't believe you for making the mistake of thinking it'd be okay since the only examples are Rock Lee and his Son, Metal. That said, Lee's a special case and Metal is part of Boruto, which kinda screws over the power scale in a way a lot fo the GM's don't really like. I personally think that Soul being able to open 2 gates as her highest level would be fine, but as a whole, the GM team to want it lowered to 1 gate as your max. Along with that, you need to give a better reason for someone teaching her how to open said Gates.

Remember that Guy was chastised by Kakashi for his recklessness in teaching such things to a genin, and the reasons for that were put on display after his fight with Gara. Something people seem to forget is how dangerous this technique is to the user, and that teaching something like this to a child would probably lead to no small amount of trouble. . . however, another thing people seem to forget is that the 8 gates aren't a jutsu, but just a result of putting in a large amount of physical effort. Now that doesn't mean someone could accidentally learn to learn all of the gates, you definitely need someone to lead you through the process of opening most of the gates, but for the first one, I think it'd be fine if that was opened due to her clan's intense physical training, but again, only that one. To learn anymore, she'd have to find a teacher, and she'd currently be in the process of trying to open the second gate even if she did.

However, that's only my opinion on the whole thing, so if you want to get the gates for certain, I'd probably play it safe and make sure she had someone to help her unlock that first gate, despite the risks it can have on her health.
Character Theme

In conclusion, I really like the ideas behind this sheet and think you have an interesting character here, one that is still in love with the fantasy of being a ninja, despite the current trends. That's something no other character really brings to the table and makes her an excellent contrast to others we have in the running. That said, the implementation of all your ideas needs to be reworked, specifically in terms of her abilities and her motivation to be a ninja. The whole incident doesn't make too much sense upon close inspection, so I think choosing something more focuses on helping people aspect(perhaps one of her family is a ninja and inspires her to help people) would work better for the sheet as a whole.
Sincerely,
Raijinslayer

ShinriKiyaru Aburame [+]

"It matters not that I'm blind. Once I make my dream of becoming Hokage a reality, everyone will see how capable a shinobi I really am."

---

Personal Information

---

_{Full Name:}

Aburame ShinriKiyaru

That's a very weird given name you got there. I'm no expert in Japanese, but I think the “k” in Kiyaru shouldn't be capitalized.

_Nicknames:

Shinri

_Age:

11

_Gender:

Male

_Clan:

Aburame

_Affiliation:

Konohagakure

_{Appearance in Full:}

Fairly tall for someone his age, ShinriKiyaru stands at a solid height of 157cm (5' 2"). He also weighs in at 47kg (103lbs). He uses white fabric for his forehead protector, and also wears a white kimino with a black sash. His oil black hair reaches down to about shoulder length, and he has lavender eyes that appear to be glossed over, indicating his blindness.

Full Body Image [+]

_{Characterization & Prestige:}

It's rare to see ShinriKiyaru in a less-than-stellar mood, as he naturally comes off as a highly jovial individual. Nothing gets him down for long, or rather, any longer than one would expect; and before you know it, he's back and kosher again. ShinriKiyaru is not one to hold a grudge on any particular person, and even if that's what he winds up doing, it won't last for long... unless the person in question has committed a very serious, very targeted offense. Of course, he has a good ear for telling if someone jests when saying something that might otherwise be interpreted as offensive, and if they do, he'll probably laugh it off as well. However, that takes a good judgment in character, which in turn would mean getting to know the person for an extensive amount of time.

ShinriKiyaru is highly optimistic in regards to his future. This might explain his unyieldingly positive attitude. Of course, ShinriKiyaru has dreams of his own, those primarily revolving around becoming Hokage one day. It's a huge goal for sure, that, he's well aware of. But he knows where he can start. The ideal Hokage would be kind to all the villagers of Konohagakure, which is a feature that ShinriKiyaru has down pat. But the position demands more than that. Namely, the ideal Hokage would need to be capable of protecting the villagers from danger, and they'd need to be capable of leading them to a better tomorrow; and to do that would mean making the important decisions that would, in all practicality, be for the true betterment of the village. While having the confidence for it is all well and good, ShinriKiyaru has yet to procure the chance to prove (or disprove) that he is in fact capable of making the correct decision, out of multiple that all can change lives forever. This isn't to say that ShinriKiyaru won't be up for the task, but he's never been forced into making split-second decisions before, nor has he ever had to make a decision with that great a magnitude behind it.

Above all else, however, ShinriKiyaru has sheer determination. Unlike most of the ninja trainees of this generation, ShinriKiyaru takes his training seriously. He'll strive for constant improvements no matter how slight, and he won't allow his blindness or crude suggestions from others to put him down. He takes his lessons on jutsu theory seriously as well, listening to and mentally noting down everything the instructor lectures so that he has access to it later in life when he might need it. He's even put a lot of thought into his aspirations of one day becoming the Hokage; how he could possibly achieve it, what not to do lest he blows that one shot that he has, all the possible steps he could realistically take, and most importantly, why he'd even want to go for it and what it'd be worth to him. His reasoning essentially boils down to one thing. Deep down, ShinriKiyaru feels as though he has something to prove to the villagers of Konohagakure... besides the thirst to apply himself that he seems to have. And it's that need to prove himself that drives him to perform to the best of his ability.

So they're a fundamental optimist and idealist. Neat.

_{Origin Story:}

ShinriKiyaru Aburame was born with severe optical nerve damage, which had been inflicted by a few rogue kikaichu that had devoured pieces of said nerves as they were feeding off his chakra, all while his body was still developing inside Fumika Aburame's womb. That's not how the kikaichu work. Honestly, I don't see a reason that the blindness would come from any influence of the kikaichu as the Aburame Clan members serve as willful hosts and have a chakra pact between themselves and the insects. This is just the first issue I have here. As such, he spent his entire life blind, unable to see the world around him and being even more vulnerable to all sorts of dangers. This was very much all to Fumika's dismay, since as his mother, it was her self-proclaimed duty to keep ShinriKiyaru safe from harm... and between her being a single parent with little money and her own mental stability being questionable at best, it was getting harder and harder for Fumika as life went on. Despite all the times that he'd inadvertently driven her crazy, Fumika never let ShinriKiyaru out of her sight, and she always took him wherever she went, if only out of extreme paranoia for what he might be doing whilst left on his own. Why didn't the Aburame Clan help in any capacity? Fumika isn't clanless nor is she from a niche minor clan, so I don't understand why money or raising the child would be a problem in the first place. That changed during ShinriKiyaru's first few days at the academy. While she was perfectly fine with him going to school and learning things, Fumika would still have panic attacks over what might happen to ShinriKiyaru outside of her watch, so at first she guided him to the academy each day and stake it out for the duration of his time there. Her shadowy presence was starting to scare the other kids, however, and she got defensive when some of the staff asked her to leave, naturally scaring the kids even more.

While he was at the academy, ShinriKiyaru's classmates had seated themselves far away from him due to some of his kikaichu and kaiyochu showing themselves, especially the girls at his class, and he was exempt from shurikenjutsu practice during the entirety of one year and a sizable amount of the next due to his blindness. Seems like a waste of the Aburame Clan and the Shinobi Academy's time, money, and resources to ban him from learning because he was blind. Specialized training seems more likely as far as I can imagine. This sense of isolation had made ShinriKiyaru feel lonely, and when the instructor came over to ask what was wrong, he expressed his concerns that he might not be welcome in the academy after all. After this talk with his instructor, ShinriKiyaru returned home a little earlier than he would normally be let free, only to find that Fumika was out on an errand of sorts, presumably to go shopping for groceries and supplies. After some rifling around an old desk, ShinriKiyaru had found some kunais and shurikens in one of its drawers along with a note that he couldn't read due to his blindness, and picked one of the shurikens up. He looked down at the shuriken, reflecting on his current situation. When Fumika returned, she rushed over to ShinriKiyaru in a state of panic, only to freeze upon catching a glimpse of the note inside the drawer that ShinriKiyaru must've opened, burying her face in her hands as she broke down and dropping to her knees. ShinriKiyaru asked Fumika if she was OK, but when she wouldn't answer, he had to assume that he'd stumbled upon something personal, and thus apologized for the intrusion. He told her that she had every right to give it her all to protect him; then, he realized, but he also said that she was eventually going to have to relinquish that burden and trust that one day, he'd be quite capable of looking after himself.

Ultimately this backstory feels like it's incomplete, especially considering the fact that this is said to be a “prodigal” character. I see no explanation on why they are a prodigy, what specialized training or affinity for ninjutsu they had going into the academy, or even during their time as a student. The GM Staff would like to see the explanations here and in conceptualization because as it currently stands all we really see is a blind shinobi who has a protective mother and that's about it.

---

Combat Information

---

_Talents:

ShinriKiyaru battles using parasitic insects known as kikaichu. These insects nest on ShinriKiyaru's body directly and feed on his chakra, but in exchange, he can command them in battle and dictate their very actions, and all information regarding their surroundings is instantly relayed to him. ShinriKiyaru also makes use of a different species of parasitic insects known as kaiyochu. These insects can't fly as high as the kikaichu can, nor can they soar as far or as long before they'd have to land again, but they can swim faster than any human can run, and can dive into the depths of any ocean without succumbing to the pressure that'd be exerted upon them due to the sheer weight of the waters above. This in turn makes the kaiyochu ideal for underwater combat.

ShinriKiyaru can also sense chakra to an extent, via feeling it pulsate through his body. A Sensor-type would work very well for a shinobi stricken with blindness. I think this has potential. How close he has to be in order to feel a specific entity's chakra is in reverse proportion to that entity's power level. For example, he'd only be able to sense a genin's or academy student's chakra whilst exceedingly close to them. Jonins' and prodigy chunins' chakra can be felt from a stone's throw away, whereas shinobi of a higher power, such as ANBU members or the Five Kage, can be felt from up to five meters. However, if ShinriKiyaru were to have the (mis)fortune to encounter any of the Nine-Tailed Beasts, he'd be able to sense their chakra from a whole mile away. Typically, ShinriKiyaru will have this rule-of-thumb when staring down an opposing shinobi in combat; if he can feel their chakra, chances are he's too close to them and he needs to back off if he's able, lest he be vulnerable to powerful Taijutsu, or short-ranged Ninjutsu or Genjutsu.

Litmus Paper tends to dampen enough to be completely soaked whilst in ShinriKiyaru's hand, indicating that ShinriKiyaru has a natural affinity for the learning and use of Water Release Jutsu. He does know one or two off-hand, but he'll need more time to learn any additional Water Release Jutsu that he may have in mind in terms of adding to his repertoire than he has left in the academy.

Considering his blindness, one would think that ShinriKiyaru would fail miserably at Shurikenjutsu, being even less competent at it than he would be at Taijutsu; that being the class of jutsu that the Aburame Clan is known to be weak in. However, that kind of thinking would be wrong. The kikaichu and kaiyochu housed in ShinriKiyaru's body can relay more than enough information about his exact surroundings to make up for his blindness, and although his technique for throwing a shuriken or kunai to one side or from behind him could use work, he's still able to have a thrown shuriken or kunai land on a target point-first, as well as keep to his own indicated target. ShinriKiyaru theorizes that, by the time he finishes graduation from the academy given his current progress, he'll be able to accurately throw any shuriken or kunai without even looking in the direction that he intends to throw it.

_Tools:

Shuriken
Kunai
Explosive Tags

_Techniques:

Human Cocoon Technique [+]

Human Cocoon Technique
Rank D

A basic technique that allows ShinriKiyaru to wrap himself in a cocoon, which doubles as a waterproof "sleeping bag" of sorts. This cocoon is comfortable enough for him to sleep in when all other sleeping equipment is forgone, whether due to negligence or otherwise. It can also be used to hide from opposing shinobi, and consequentially, spy on them from a safe distance.

Secret Technique: Insect Cocoon [+]

Secret Technique: Insect Cocoon
Rank D

This allows ShinriKiyaru to accelerate the growth of his kikaichu and his kaiyochu. However, this in turn leaves him static and vulnerable, usually requiring him to move to a safe place or be adequately guarded by a teammate. ShinriKiyaru does have options in the event that his teammates cannot save him; using his Underwater Technique, he can dive underwater and stay there for as long as he needs to, so long as his chakra reserves don't run dry. Alternatively, if there is only a single opposing shinobi, he can trap that shinobi in a Water Prison Technique, affording him the ability to use this technique out in the open with significantly lesser repercussions.

Secret Technique: Insect Sphere [+]

Secret Technique: Insect Sphere
Rank C

ShinriKiyaru commands his kikaichu and kaiyochu to pursue an opposing shinobi, at first covering a wide area in search for their target before gathering all at once and forming a sphere the second they find it. Even if the opposing shinobi escapes the first time, they'll be continually be pursued until they manage to evade the kikaichu and kaiyochu completely, or their chakra is eaten away in its entirety. In either case, the kikaichu and kaiyochu will immediately return to ShinriKiyaru's side.

Secret Technique: Nightmare of Parasite [+]

Secret Technique: Nightmare of Parasite
Rank C

Here, ShinriKiyaru's kikaichu and kaiyochu buzz as loudly as they possibly can, enabling them to inflict a powerful audial genjutsu on any opposing shinobi within 20 meters of them. This genjutsu drives its victims into panic, bolting in different directions and seeming to swat kikaichu and other insects that in truth are not present in corporeal form. While ShinriKiyaru cannot control the direction in which the victims end up running, he and his allies can still take advantage of the situation quite easily, allowing to trap the victims at will, as well as throw shurikens and kunai and fire off less-than-accurate jutsus without the risk of them being able to dodge. And it has the potential to forcibly separate opposing shinobi so that they can be defeated significantly more easily, due to lacking the support from their peers. The effects of the genjutsu dissipate on their own the moment that one too many kikaichu and/or kaiyochu stop buzzing at full blast but, as is possible with the vast majority of other genjutsu, victims can also break out by inflicting enough pain upon themselves.

Underwater Technique [+]

Underwater Technique
Rank D

By using the Monkey, the Snake and the Dog Hand Seals, ShinriKiyaru can have his entire chakra network emit an aura of chakra around him. This aura will repel any and all water from ShinriKiyaru's body, allowing him to swim freely underwater without the need to hold his breath. He can also freely use all of his insect-based jutsu whilst underwater through this technique as well, by strictly using his kaiyochu in place of his kikaichu. Even with a strong level of chakra control on his end, ShinriKiyaru can only maintain the aura that protects him from drowning for approximately 30 minutes at the very most. It should be noted that this aura does not prevent ShinriKiyaru from feeling the full impact of any Water Release Jutsu that strikes him, nor does it reduce the damage of those jutsu in any way. However, this can be used to stave off the effects of the Water Prison Technique until help arrives at the very least, if not counter it completely.

Water Prison Technique [+]

Water Prison Technique
Rank C

The most powerful jutsu that ShinriKiyaru currently has access to. It's also one of his most versatile jutsus... or rather, it would be if not for its short range. What it allows ShinriKiyaru to do is ensnare an opposing shinobi in a sphere of pure water, restricting the stricken shinobi's movements and making it difficult for them to breath. The biggest drawback to this jutsu is that ShinriKiyaru must stay in contact with the sphere of water at all times, lest it burst and spray water all over the place, and consequentially free the trapped shinobi inside. ShinriKiyaru can also use the Water Prison Technique to keep key items relatively safe from opposing shinobi's hands, encase himself to stop others from reaching him, or encase his own kaiyochu to give them the respite they may need from flight while still keeping them "airborne". He can even ensnare an opposing shinobi with his kaiyochu inside a water prison, giving them a free, helpless target to consume chakra from.

Okay, so the two primary concerns we have is with two of your techniques: Underwater Technique and Nightmare of Parasite.

The way you explain the former lends me to think immediately to a Hyuga technique where they are blasting chakra through their tenketsu, which with an Aburame with the backstory like Shinrikiyaru has doesn't seem to work all that well. Even if you did somehow have that level of chakra control and knew how to do that Hyuga-oriented technique, you would still have the issue of doing it for thirty minutes which would be impossible for an academy student due to the amount of chakra needed. And that's all without going into the fact that the way the technique is written would lead us to believe that Shinrikiyaru would suffer from fatal oxygen deprivation. Water chakra cannot create breathable air.

As for your genjutsu – you're casting a illusion spread in a huge radius of twenty meters. That's going to obviously hit you and your allies as well unless you're filtering out the noise with earbuds or some other devices. There is the concern of friendly fire there.

We're also going to say no to using Insect Cocoon at the same time as Water Prison. That just doesn't work for us.

---

Miscellaneous Information

---

_{Main Theme Song:}

Re-Education (Through Labor), by Rise Against

_{Battle Theme Song:}

Parasite II OST: Crawling Waste Emperor

_{Ideal Voice Actors:}

Robbie Daymond (En)/Soichiro Hoshi (Jp)

_{Character Development & Conceptualization:}

The kaiyochu are based off of the great diving beetles, and their name is derived from the words "kaiyo", meaning ocean, and "chu", meaning insect. The whole concept of the kaiyochu was so that Shinri could still perform all of his bug-related justus whilst underwater. I figured that this would be a useful feature in case our characters ever wind up passing by a river or a lake or something, which I would imagine would come into play during a post-graduation arc when we're all out of the academy and doing mission stuffs. Of course, I needed to give the kaiyochu a disadvantage of some sort in order for them to not be completely superior to the kikaichu; which in turn would equate to the prospect of even giving Shinri the kikaichu pointless. Thus, I decided that restricting the kaiyochu's flight capabilities would make the most sense. After all, they are supposed to be sea-based insects as opposed to air-based.

During combat or test conditions, Shinri will likely summon an entire swarm of kikaichu and kaiyochu and have them constantly buzz around him at normal volumes, with occasional bursts of more aggressive buzzing so that they can provide echolocation for Shinri. They shouldn't have echolocation since well the kikachu don't. It's not the most subtle use of his bugs, but the extra precision he gets will more than likely be worth it. Alternatively, Shinri can place his kikaichu and kaiyocgu on the ends of his fingers, his feet, his shoulders and other key parts of his body, hidden (mostly) underneath his clothing. In this instance, they won't be buzzing so constantly and only in bursts, which is often enough to ensure that Shinri won't bump into anything, and he may outstretch his hand in order to get a better gauge on what's directly in front of him. This will be the main method that Shinri will use to determine where obstacles and people and shit actually are. Taking the kikaichu and kaiyochu out will render Shinri helpless; though in saying that, they have enough self-preservation and survival instinct to not make that easy.

This is all well and good, but nothing here actually goes into Shinrikiyaru's personal conceptualization, your justifications for it, your ideas with the character going forward, and all that is what we are looking for in a characterization and conceptualization section. We don't really want to know about the kaiyochu. I don't even have an idea about your long term or short term goals with the character outside of “it'd be swell if we fought near a lake or river”.

Hoki Bakuto [+]

"I am not blind, I see everything clearly and see things everyone else cannot see."

---

Character Fields

Name | Aliases
Hoki Bakuto

Age | Gender
Male

Clan | Rank
Hoki, Academy Student

Affiliations
Konohagakure

Characterization & Prestige
Bakuto isn't a prodigy, he is a blind 'kid' working his way through becoming a shinobi. He is far from useless for his blindness left him with a bit of uniqueness. Bakuto fights, trains, and studies every way to make himself a shinobi to prove you don't have to have sight to see. His skills he excels at taijutsu, kenjutsu, bukijutsu and basic shinobi skills. With superior senses and having a rather unique way of thinking. His only lacking area is ninjutsu and genjutsu. He can use very little ninjutsu and cannot use any genjutsu.

I'm not really getting a sense of Bakuto's personality here at all and even then there seems to be a lot of contradictory statements in this write-up. You say he isn't a prodigy yet go on to say he has superior senses and that his only weak faults are genjutsu and ninjutsu. The rest of your sheet goes into this with some detail and I don't really get the feeling he's just a “blind kid” working his way to become a shinobi. This section should give a good idea for his characterization and personality traits, but you really haven't given any of that.

Origin Story
Bakuto was born in Konohagakure to a nothing clan. Bakuto is of the Hoki clan during a rough night tragedy fell, a fire enveloped the house. Fire caused natural causes by a lightning storm. Bakuto's life was saved by a leaf jonin but he was left blind from the smoke and flames of the fire. That's not how blindness works, as far as I can tell. His parents died in the fire and he was to lived with relatives within the leaf. This part of his family were nothing more then common servants.

Early on when he was four or five he was put into the shinobi academy, many believed he would fail the entrance exam. He passed but barely, he was put into the academy with many thought he would fail. He didn't and hasnt failed yet, showing he quickly grasped the early understanding of shinobi skills and the shinobi creed.

In the present day, Bakuto trains constantly. Honing his skills, and trying to become a full fledge shinobi worthy of graduation from the academy. Bakuto often is found in the academy's training fields or in the class rooms studying.

TThis backstory is way too bare bones for me to really criticize it or give any beneficial suggestions. I need to see a lot more, because right now this reads like a skeleton of a biography.

Character Development & Conceptualization
Bakuto's goals are to become a great shinobi, but his goals are much further than that. Wanting to prove that without sight that he can see better than anyone from clans gifted with visual abilities. His hope is one day he will be able to sit on the seat of Hokage, with his disabilities and own personal gifts.

Personal Goals/(my goals) for the character, Bakuto to grow and develop as a character. Develop in ways Bakuto's own personal goals might change. Build him up in whatever way the rp goes.

That isn't really telling us any information regarding character development or what your personal design philosophy is or even what you want out of the concept at all. We're looking for more than a vague synopsis that doesn't really tell us anything.

---

Triple T's

Talents
Great sense of hearing, smell and touch. With his blindness came a heightening of his other senses. His hearing his almost on par with a dog, the same with his hearing. With blindness you don't “automatically” receive a heightening of other senses. I understand the blind sage is a fun archetype to play with, but there is no real explanation here for your accelerated senses and there really should be. His touch he can feel the slightest vibrations. Put together with tracking skills. Bakuto can follow and track most people. How can he “follow and track” people? If you intend to design Bakuto as a sensor-type shinobi, there needs to be sound justifications for that.

Visual Genjutsu Slight Immunity, Baktuo is slightly immune to visual genjutsu. Not that he cannot be put in genjutsu but genjutsus that requires him to see something doesn't affect him most of the time. Under certain visual genjutus are exceptions. Other genjutsus though are effective if not even more so.

Bakuto can cook, his skills in cooking are rather good. Being blind or whatever his skills when it comes to cooking are really good. He also enjoys cooking from time to time.

Bakuto also is a bit of a strategist, likes playing games of chess/or shogi thinks that requires thinking. He is rather good at them even though he goes at them most of the time in unique ways. Often combing paper bombs to things to increase their speed, or adding flamable liquads to his tools and setting them ablaze. Explosive tags doesn't make things faster, though?

Bakuto has a ear for music, he cannot sing but he can nearly play any instrument given to him. Often enough one can hear him humming to himself when he is trying to focus.

Has a talent for Taijutsu and a knack for using ninja tools in rather weird but effective ways. This is kind of inexplicably vague – how does he use these tools in weird ways?

Tools
3x rolls of wire
12x kunai
12x shuriken
30x paper bombs sometimes more but most of the time 30 and presently only 30
12x smoke bombs
10x flash bombs
10x chakra/strength enhancing food pills
1x bottle of sake labeled 'disinfectant'
2x bags to carry all his tools
1x tanto sword/sheath

Techniques
S Rank
N/A
A Rank
N/A
B Rank
N/A
C Rank
N/A
D rank
Basic shinobi skills - Tree climbing etc.

Miscs

N/A

My Hider [+]

“You... You have not been in many fights, have you...? Sheesh, what a pain. Just don't get in the way. You'll make things harder than they already are.”

Personal Dossier

---

_Name

Yamanaka (山中 Middle of the Mountain), Inori (祈り Prayer)

_Age

13

_Rank

Academy Student

_Origin

Konohagakure

_{Chakra Nature}

Earth

Characterization

---

_Identity

Though one might not be able to tell at first glance, Inori is the presumed heir to the Yamanaka Clan. Once a shy and obedient kid, puberty appears to have transformed her into a rebel without a cause. With little regard for family or even shinobi traditions, going as far as dying her own hair a different color and using colored contact lenses to match, the girl struggles to leave the shadow of her clan and become someone unique, someone who is not defined by blood or secret techniques. Her attitude has caused those within the Yamanaka Clan to worry about their future. The current head can only hope that her behavior is temporary, or else he'll have to make the necessary changes to assure that his leadership is passed down to a 'worthy' individual. Regardless, the girl does not seem to care, nor does she show interest in whoever may claim the position. When asked why she intends to become a ninja in spite of it all, Inori confesses that 'it's probably the only thing she's good at' and that it'll be 'the easiest and fastest way to leave home', adding that 'if she proves herself to be capable enough, she'll earn good money'.

Following her own sense of fashion [and life], she is not known to quickly cast away others in prejudice. Things like race, physical shape, clan and overall background are not obstacles in forming a bond with her, however, she puts great emphasis in actions and decisiveness during first impressions. She's no stranger to street fighting, so sometimes things simply do not work out. She is not afraid to join a group of outcasts, and has found the Akimichi and Nara clan to be compelling partners to spend the time with. For one, quietly eating and slacking off can be quite enjoyable provided the timing is right.

When the situation calls for it, Inori displays traits of a realist -and sometimes those of a pessimist-, often being overwhelmed by such thoughts in the middle of combat. She's not someone who finds violence exciting, but someone who dominates it like blacksmiths do with their hammer. This may make her appear to be more mature than she looks, but in truth, she's just another desperate soul in need of guidance. Because she is at odds with her family, she seeks answers elsewhere, and industry has found a way into her heart in the way of music. Most of her allowance has been spent in a CD-player and a set of headphones.

_{Personal History}

Inori´s fist years were no different than those of most. Having been born in a period of peace, she was never exposed to loss and strife, and was able to spend most of her time with her family. At the age of four, however, she was selected as a candidate for a particular investigation that required the mandatory aid of children from the Yamanaka Clan to take off. Seeing as Inori had no brothers nor sisters, and that in the future she would have to become the house head, her parents were naturally against it. However, once they witnessed the results of the experiment in other children, they nodded in approval without a second thought. Why would her parents (which would be Inotora's children, right?) be down for such a process. Were they attempting to create sleeper cells for when Inotora Eventually came back to power? From that age, every day at evening, Inori´s training regime would begin to include hypnotic sessions. The goal was to create a 'controlled' second personality or 'second mind' that would be able to learn and perform tasks regardless of the user's real motivation, affinity or mental state. What Benefit would it be to train children to have two personalities? It seems more inefficient than if you were to train them normally. For a long time, Inori remained oblivious to the existence of this second aspect of herself and had virtually no recollection of what kind of exercises she underwent during hypnosis. On the other hand, her parents were fully aware, and they were able to witness how their daughter, who disliked kenjutsu and refused to practice it, was no capable to hold her own in combat against someone at least twice her age Yeah, no. Try again. while in trance.

By the time Inori was enlisted in the academy, she had already learnt about her alter ego. If she's a sleeper cell with two separate personalities, why the hell would she be aware of it? She accepted it and used it mostly like a tool when the need arose. She was proud to be able to study to become a ninja and she was quite excited, as well. So much so, that one day she decided to spend the entire day tracking a group of Genin as they carried out missions through the village. She felt... Betrayed. From pulling out weeds to walking dogs or bringing pets back home, their labors weren't anything close to what she had been told. Unwilling to accept reality, she repeated the process another day, this time with a shinobi of higher rank, a Chunin. She was glad to see that his tasks carried plenty of responsibility. Delivering messages and watching the gate might look tame in comparison to other kind of tasks, but they were really important. They had a meaning and required ninja talent to be carried out in the best manner possible. Sadly, at certain point the Chunin simply decided to put off his duties and slack off while supposedly on duty. This was because there was no sense of urgency and everyone had become accustomed to the villages being at peace. Inori learned that it wasn't just him, a lot of officers did exactly the same thing, even if they had different forms to display it.

The only ones who were different were those who stood out. Their looks and attitude, it was simply alien in comparison. However, you could tell with just a glance that they actually cared about their job. From this point onward, Inori began to see a pattern. Looking generic meant you were part of a collective whose boring destiny had already been carved in stone. This was especially true within her clan. A lot of members looked the same, learned the same techniques and, in doing so, sacrificed their identity. So Inori did what she had to do and it all began with a drastic change in appearance. Because she wasn't willing to part with her beautiful name, she instead changed her hair color. Every family head had had blonde hair, so this made her immediately stand out. She began swimming against the current, and before anyone could tell, she had gone from sweet and obedient to 'problematic child'. Skipping class, becoming involved in fights, they became usual news for the Yamanaka.

Eventually, swayed by music and the mentality of the new world, her faith for Shinobi decayed and together with it, her drive to become someone truly special. Since it was likely that, even if she put all she had into it, she would end up just like all those 'slackers' nonetheless -And even if she did manage to become special, as things were, her talents would not be needed-, as breaking fate did not simply entail a change in appearance, she figured she might as well stop trying and join the flock. Nowadays, her rebellious nature remains present in her entire being, however, her look on things is now much more realistic/pessimistic.

_{Character Development & Conceptualization}

With a mindset unlike her peers, Inori has seemingly lost her faith not just in the ways of old but in what the future departs, and with it the passion that comes with becoming a 'true' ninja. Having decided to live life in a selfish way just so she can be at ease, watch her struggle as reality continues to prove, time after time, that being a shinobi isn't as easy as she initially thought. Will she succumb under the pressure of hardship and loss, choosing to escape, abandoning the life of a ninja just to continue moving forward? Or will she be able to recall, to re-ignite the embers of a dying flame that some people call 'The Will of Fire'?
Doesn't tell me what your plans/wants/ideas for the character are.

Attributes

---

_{Character Focus & Skillset}

Street Fighter: A lot of Inori's fighting experience comes from unarmed fights where no rules are involved. Granted, these were normally small skirmishes between her and other problematic group of peers her age, resulting in the incidents having little consequence. That said, since she was more often than not the one being outnumbered, she has learned how to anticipate and deal with coordinated attacks executed from different directions, how to properly use the environment in secluded spaces to her advantage and has developed certain resistance that allows her to recover faster from attacks that would normally leave one dazed for a good second or two. Naturally, this has come at the cost of Inori being the one at the losing end for quite some time.

Combat-Knife Expertise: Despite seemingly being a natural fist fighter, Inori excelled in Kunai duels during Traditional Shinobi Sparring at the Academy, especially in the ones that involve dual-wielding, managing to emerge on top of her class. Being no genius, however, the spotlight was taken away from her in most other disciplines. Proud of her achievement, though, she has continued to train the art and even purchased her own personal knife weapon, which she can wield as well, if not better, as the regular kunai.

Hit and Run Specialist: Inori might not be the fastest one around, but she is one of the few who has learned how to take advantage of her small stature. In battle, she prefers to sacrifice offensive potential if it means coming out from an exchange unscratched. Rather than someone who aims battles in a single act, Inori likes to play the long game and exhaust opponents, weakening them little by little through 'chip damage'. Through feints, slides and carefully planned jumps, Inori constantly moves around the battlefield, leaving and resuming combat at a fast pace. Naturally, she's at her best against taller foes on closed locations like the inside of a building. In the open, she often needs to resort to the use of traps or outside support.

Jutsu List

---

_{S Rank}

N/A

_{A Rank}

N/A

_{B Rank}

N/A

_{C Rank}

Mind Body Switch Technique

Mind Division Technique: Alter Ego [+]

Mind Division Technique: Alter Ego
Rank: C
Description: A new Jutsu in experimental stages developed by the Yamanaka Clan with the aid of Konoha's Scientific Team for investigation purposes. Satoru-era Science Team would not support this development. If done, it would need to be kept secret from the village. Though weaker in complexity in comparison to the Mind-Body Switch Technique, the time required to 'nurture' it makes children more suitable for testing than adults. In essence, once one has learned how to artificially develop a 'second personality', the next stage is being able to willingly be able to swap between them. This makes the Mind Division Technique: Alter Ego the required 'switch' to awaken the 'second personality' as well as the safeguard that 'allows one to go back'. Since the Yamanaka possess the knowledge required to mold and separate a 'second personality' to their liking, there is little risk of the mind becoming unestable as a result. Indeed, this 'second personality' is often raised to feel no pain or emotion and focus entirely on a single task. In a sense, it's currently more of a strange form of self-suggestion than anything else. In Inori's case, the chosen focus for her 'second personality' has been 'Swordsmanship'. When this state of mind is awakened, her skills with the sword raise significantly for a short period of time, usually no more than three minutes. However, once the time is up, she displays no recollection of what happened during that time. Though the 'body' can learn, the mind 'seals away' the acquired experience in order to protect mental integrity, leaving skills trained by one's 'alter ego' as exclusive to their personality and vice-versa. This was the technique's original goal, to be able to master a greater number of skills by dividing the effort between two personalities. As it is still in experimental stages, it will take at least a few years for it to yield reliable results.
This ability needs to be reworked along with her backstory pertaining to it. As it stands, there is no justification for the research and development of this technique, unless the Yamanaka clan was actively plotting to retaliate against the village. The concept of the ability also doesn't feel like it fits well in the universe of the RP.

_{D Rank}

Earth Style: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique

Mind Division Technique: Accel [+]

Mind Division Technique: Accel
Rank: D
Description: A hidden Jutsu that allows the members of the Yamanaka Clan to effectively separate their current 'awareness' into two or more and then redirect each part's focus to a specific process. As a result, the one's thought process become faster and more accurate, akin to a calculator. So long as the user's senses can properly 'perceive' phenomena and their bodies can 'keep up', anticipating the immediate future becomes a trivial matter. However, speeding one's thoughts in this way can cause an effect similar to 'overheating' if used for too long. Usually the greater the number of mind-partitions the Yamanaka creates, the greater the risk. At her current age, Inori can only create accelerate her thought process through a single additional partition for about a half an hour before she is assaulted by a sharp headache and has to stop. Has a mild headache after thirty minutes of pushing her thought process to 200%? What? When is use, her awareness becomes such that it becomes hard to surprise or distract her, and although prediction of the immediate future is impossible, the success of actions that involve throwing or intercepting projectiles is greatly increased. It also provides a bonus in close-quarter combat where being able to 'read one's opponent' is vital, but a more experienced fighter can easily cancel it, due to differences in skill.
This also needs work. The ability as it stands now is too powerful and needs balancing. Again, like Alter Ego, it doesn't really feel like an ability that fits well in the RP universe.

Earth Style: Stone Pistol Technique [+]

Earth Style: Stone Pistol Technique
Rank: D
Description:After forming the necesary handseals, the Ninja molds Earth Natured Chakra inside their mouth, creating pebble-sized projectiles that are later expelled with great speed and force. Five singular consecutive shots can be fired in a small window of time. The aim can be slightly adjusted between each shot, but they will all follow a linear trajectory.
This needs to be bumped up to a C but is otherwise fine.

_{E Rank}

Academy Techniques

_Inventory

-Personal Knife
-Kunai
-Shuriken
-Smoke Bomb
-Wire.

In conclusion the areas that need work are:

1) The backstory needs some revision, largely surrounding the mind research
2) The conceptualization section needs to be expanded to show what you plan to do with your character in the future
3) The custom techniques need some adjustment

I'm interested in this, is there space?