In terms of ‘Brian Helmsley plans,’ this one was about as basic as it could get. While he typically had grand plans, with many moving parts and elaborate possibilities for things to go wrong. This, though? This was simple: stand outside of Parker’s class, and ask her out when she leaves.

He’d initially wanted to wait until he found out who the Weekend Warrior was, but with the unlikely help of Hailey, that mission had been completed. The next mission was to discredit the Weekend Warrior, but that could take a backseat, and he could try and court Parker. He’d asked Henry before doing it, to make sure that Henry wasn’t worried about Parker, and with that complete, he was now executing his plan.

The final bell rang, and the students poured out into the hallway, with Brian waiting patiently. When Parker finally did come out, he tapped her arm to get her attention, and when she was looking at him, he shot his shot. “Hey, Parker. My name is Brian. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me and get some ice cream?” Henry’s idea, not his. But, Henry knew Parker better than anyone else right then, so Brian figured he could be trusted on the matters. Now, all Brian could do was hold his breath and hope for the best.

The last class of the day was the longest one to get through, but at the same time the first class of the day was even longer...really all the classes were too long and Parker had a tendency to zone out and get absolutely bored with them after about ten minutes. Teachers had considered she might suffer from some sort of concentration debility but Parker just thought it was boring listening to people with similar voices all talking about old people or numbers or words. This class was no different and Parker was on the verge of falling asleep were it not for the fact that high school desks were super uncomfortable and she was amusing herself when she learned that her desk squeaked whenever she moved in it, much to the annoyance of really the whole class.

Fortunately the bell rang and Parker would have been first out the door but she had to shove papers into her bag first which took up some additional time. Her backpack was like a warzone. No folders to speak of, just loose papers shoved in and wrinkled which made doing homework a damn near impossibility. Outside of class she was ready to make her way down to the parking lot to find Henry and Mincy but she was stopped in her tracks by a hand on her shoulder.

She didn’t recognize the face, but she didn’t even start to remember Mincy until at least two weeks after seeing her on a semi consistent basis. As he spoke his introduction and proposition, Parker merely blinked along until he was finished. “I’M SUPPOSED TO MEET HENRY AFTER SCHOOL.”

This might turn out to be harder than he thought it would be. Parker was different, he had to remember that. It wasn’t her fault, and in all honesty? It was part of the reason that Brian found himself to be so… enamored with her. She was innocent, naive, and had an air of sweetness about her that was wholly unique. It was nice, compared to the people he normally associated himself with. “I’ve already spoken with Henry, he said it’s alright if you come with me!”

If those words were spoken by someone older, someone not a student, Parker would have considerably more of a pause; it was incredibly possible that Henry had already talked to this guy, Henry talked to so many people that Parker was surprised he even remembered all of them. She still didn’t know the name of her student counselor and she had been seeing her since she enrolled in school, and twice as much now that she had to have a fifteen minute meeting right before lunch. Something about the beach or something. Parker looked up at Brian - because she was rather short and thus had to look up - studying his face like she was trying to read his mind or something. “CAN I GET THREE SCOOPS? FOUR?”

For a brief moment, it crossed Brian’s head how it might have looked weird that he was just inviting someone out to get ice cream, but whatever. It wasn’t that weird, because he wasn’t like an old man or anything; even if it was weird, did he really care about his image around the school? Not particularly. Brushing the thoughts out of his head, he chose to instead focus on Parker, nodding in response to her question and giving her a smile. “You can have however much you want. C’mon.” She was staring at him with a rather speculative look in her eyes, and he had… no idea why that was happening. He turned and gestured for her to follow him, “you can have a banana split if you want. Those are pretty tasty.”

Henry always complained if she had more than two scoops, something about sugar or bouncing or something that didn’t make much sense. Humans didn’t bounce off the walls, and Parker only bounced if she had a trampoline or a bouncy ball or something - like at a birthday party that had a bouncy castle. Parker didn’t know anyone at the party given that it was for a middle schooler but she fit right in anyway. That was a fun day. That she was going to be able to get as many scoops as she wanted was as good a sign as any to accept this generous offer. “BUT I DON’T WANT A BANANANA” Was it intentional when Parker called it a ‘ban-nah-nan-ah’? It was hard to say, but she didn’t seem to think she said anything wrong. “I WANT THE ICE CREAM PART. CAN I RIDE ON YOUR BACK?” Parker was told that it was nice to ask, otherwise she would’ve probably just jumped on Brian’s back and expected a free ride.

Whether or not it was intentional the way she said ‘banana’ was irrelevant. It’s effect was still the same on Brian. When she asked if she could ride on his back, he didn’t even have to think about the answer. Of course she could. He paused and knelt down so she could more easily jump on, “sure you can.” He said, while waiting for her to jump on. This was easier than he’d thought ti was going to be! At first, he’d sort of felt a little nervous, like approaching Parker would have been impossible. It had been a valid fear in his head; she wasn’t unapproachable, no, but Brian was only human, and a teenager on top of that. He’d assumed the worst would happen, and he was relieved to see it was far from that. This was almost easy.

Brian might not have been as tall as some of the others who had given her back rides, but that didn’t matter; what mattered was the simple fact that he allowed it without really any second guessing. Parker jumped, almost literally, onto Brian’s back, gripping onto his shirt before adjusting herself so that she was holding onto his shoulders like the reins of a horse; she was even bouncing, kicking her feet like they were in a saddle but it was from excitement rather than any malicious or harmful intent. “ICE CREAM STALLION!”

Brian didn’t have much to say, so with a smile on his face he charged onward and toward the parking lot. Once they were there, he unloaded Parker into the passenger seat of his car — a Honda Civic, for the record — and then got into the driver’s seat. He started the car and pulled out of the lot, before he looked over at his blonde passenger (and hopefully, soon-to-be girlfriend), and posed a question, “have you ever had frozen yogurt, Parker? Now, we can still do ice cream instead! But there’s a pretty nice frozen yogurt place nearby.”

Almost as soon as she was sat in the passenger seat, Parker started pressing buttons on the door, trying to fiddle with the mirror or the window or the power locking like she was at the helm of a spaceship or something. She at least settled in enough to put her own seatbelt on when the car hummed to life and didn’t immediately start to fiddle with buttons again; it was possible that she could do damage to the car or something and Parker didn’t want to do damage to the car - it was taking her to ice cream after all. “FROZEN YOGURT? SILLY! YOU PUT YOGURT IN THE SAME PLACE WITH MILK AND EGGS AND CHEESE, NOT THE FREEZER!” Honestly, who didn’t know that? That was something they taught you in, like, at least fourth grade.

Brian watched as Parker stopped fiddling with the buttons, before mentioning: “if you want to mash on the buttons, be my guest. If you break it, I’ll just buy another one.” What kind of man would he be if he robbed her of a toy she wanted to play with? Not the boyfriend material kind, that much was for sure. After she gave her concerns about the frozen yogurt, Brian’s mind was pretty much made up. Anyone that hadn’t had froyo really needed to. “No, no, you see if you freeze yogurt, it pretty much becomes ice cream, right? So if you go to a place that serves it, they have these big levers that you can pull, and it’ll fill a bowl up with a flavor of frozen yogurt. There’s like chocolate, and vanilla, and peanut butter, and cake batter. Stuff like that. Then, you can go put toppings on it. There’s a lot of toppings. There’s usually like chopped up candy bars, like Snickers or Kit Kat, and then there’s chocolate syrup, and Oreos, and even gummy bears. It’s up to you, but I think if you’ve never had it? We should go try it.” Brian spoke with his eyes glued to the road, very different from the other person that Parker typically rode with; Henry would often watch videos that Parker was while driving. Brian was much more… safety centric.

Brian might in time regret letting Parker press all the buttons she liked - she started opening and closing windows at random intervals, clicked and unclicked the lock on the doors, turned on the seat warmers, the air conditioning, the heat, the radio, the bass booster for the radio which she promptly turned down, and even the glove compartment popped open in her lap. It was a byproduct of her being in a car new to her - she’d done the same with Henry’s car - fortunately she got bored of buttons and knobs rather quickly. She was barely listening to Brian’s upsell of frozen yogurt up until he said the final magic words.

“GUMMY BEARS?” Parker immediately stopped fiddling with buttons and turned towards Brian, placing her hands on the middle divider - safer than grabbing the driver’s arm and tugging the shirt - and widened her eyes. “I WANT THAT! CAN I? PLEASE?”

That was easy. “Sure. I think you’ll like it.” He took a turn, and they were in downtown L.A., which Brian hated. It would have been easier to just take her back to his place, but he had two issues with that. Issue one, his parlor didn’t have the same vibe as an actual froyo place would, and issue two, he didn’t know if he and Parker were at that level yet. It was questionable which one was more important to him, but the result was the same. They were in L.A., which tended to mean that parking was impossible to find… but today? It just so happened to be Brian’s lucky day: the lot with the froyo place in it had a couple of free spots, and he snagged one before parking the car. “Okay, when we get in there, you can have as much as you want. Don’t worry if you end up not being able to eat it all, everyone over does it their first time.”

Who was this guy and why hadn’t she known him sooner? No one she hung out with regularly, that was to say Henry and the people that hung out around him, ever let her get ‘as much as she wanted’. Even Henry’s cool dad that bought her a cat didn’t let her order the biggest burger she wanted. Her excitement was such that it was almost a miracle she didn’t hop out of the car before it came to a complete stop, which was something she’d been known to do - she was still stuck on the part where she got to have as much as she wanted. “WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?” Parker got out of the car and practically sprinted around to the driver’s side - her Froyo Frigate was being such a slowpoke!

Geeze, she was suddenly very excited, wasn’t she? Brian watched as she tore out of the car at supersonic speeds, and when she bounded over to his side, he brushed with his hand a bit to get her to take a step back, before he opened the car door and walked outside. With a big smile on his face, Brian shook his head and laughed lightly. “Okay, okay. Let’s go” He said, before he took her hand and led her into the frozen yogurt place, and over to the containers, “okay, you just take one of these — whichever size you want — then you go and fill it up with your yogurt, all the toppings you want… and then they weigh it and I’ll pay! Just don’t eat the toppings before we pay, that’s against the rules…”

Parker didn’t have time to listen to the full explanation, she immediately grabbed not one but two of the largest containers they had. The first container she filled to the absolute rim with nothing but gummi bears. The second one she struggled with because she had to hop to get to the lever that released the yogurt. She opted for the one that had birthday cake on the picture, and that she filled about halfway before pouring cookie crumbs and more gummis on top - which she then covered with a chocolate yogurt that was in danger of tipping over the side and making a big spill. She needed more hands because she wanted another container to put vanilla and cake batter with chocolate covered pretzels on top. ”CAN YOU HELP ME CARRY THIS?”

Brian watched as she zipped around the room and filled her containers. First with gummy bears; Brian wasn’t sure that was allowed, but before the person behind the counter could say something against it, Brian slipped them a fifty dollar bill, which seemed to satiate matters for the time being. When she jumped for the lever, Brian watched her hop twice, before he walked over and reached up, pulling it down for her until she was satisfied, as well as helping with the chocolate stuff. “Parker, you don’t have to get as much as you can possibly carry right now. We can come back another time, you know?” He asked, reaching out to grab the containers from her either way, and set them on the counter. While he was staying true to his word, and letting her get as much as she wanted, he did seem slightly concerned that she might not eat it all. “I had other stuff I was hoping for us to do today, and I don’t really want you to have a tummy ache while we do it.”

What she was hearing now was slightly different from what she had heard back in the car. The words were that she could have as much as she wanted, and she wanted two containers with four different yogurt flavors and a side dish of gummi bears. Parker simply blinked at Brian while holding an empty container, which would have been her third container in total. She looked at her small mountain of yogurt being rung up and back at her empty container before reaching out and offering the third container to Brian. ”...YOU GET SOMETHING TOO, OKAY?”

Brian reached out and took the container from her and nodded. “Sure, okay.” He was glad that it went better than he’d thought it was going to. He had worried that his gentle suggestion that Parker watch how much she get and not over do it might have upset her — not to mention he was completely contradicting himself; smooth, Brian. However, it seemed like it worked! Besides, he was going to get some eventually, anyway, he just wanted to let her finish first. Brian took the container over to the yogurt fountains, and filled it up with half chocolate yogurt, then scooped in a little bit of crushed up Kit-Kat, before he topped it off with peanut butter yogurt and brought it to the counter. He handed it over, and when the total was rung up, he paid and gestured for Parker to take hers, after grabbing a couple of spoons. “We can just sit down outside.” He suggested, before leading the way to an outdoor table.

Paker handed her gummi bear cup to Brian for carrying as she needed both her hands to carry her yogurt to the outside table. In less tiny hands it probably wouldn’t have been such a Herculean effort but for Parker, the recorded shortest girl in school as of the last physical, it was quite a daunting endeavor - especially if anything spilled to the floor. She set her yogurt down on the table before sitting down, finding that the outdoor seats let her feet actually reach the sidewalk which was a nice little comfort. ”HEY, HOW COME YOU BROUGHT ME HERE? IT’S NOT MY BIRTHDAY...IS IT?”

Brian took a spoonful of the yogurt and put it in his mouth, though he flinched a bit at how cold it turned out to be. Yikes, he’d have to make sure neither of them ate too fast, or they’d both be subject to brain freezes soon enough. “Oh, no. I don’t think so? Don’t you know when your own birthday is, silly?” He raised a curious eyebrow, but ultimately shrugged it off. Parker was not without her nuances, and this was simply another one of those. “I just brought you here because I like you, and I know you like this sort of thing? So, I thought it would work. An easy way to get you to spend time with me, I guess. Let me know what you think about the frozen yogurt by the way! I’m excited for you to enjoy it for the first time.”

The spoon dipped into the yogurt and went for a side visit down to Gummi Bear Borough, which left the container of gummies with some yogurt spillage while the plane landed in Parker Airport. It was, true to its name, freezing Parker closed her eyes to rub her temple from how cold that first bite was. Cold, yes, but with a crazy blend of flavors thanks to her strange concoction of flavors. It was like putting every flavor of soda in the cup only with froyo. Naturally she went for a second scoop. Then a third. Then quickly a fourth. ”IT’S COLDER THAN ICE CREAM. MY HEAD...FEELS ALL...COLD.” A brain freeze was all but par for the course.

Well, shit. He should have said something before she began to tear into it. That was his own fault; he didn’t think Parker would attack it so violently. For how small she was, she did her best to plow through the treat in front of her. When she first dipped her spoon in the gummy bears, he thought about warning her how tough they would get if they got cold, but… she could learn. She wasn’t a child, after all — she just happened to stay true to a sort of childlike innocence. He liked that.

When she complained about how cold she was being, Brian offered the only remedy he’d ever heard for the dreaded brain freeze. “Press your tongue against the roof of your mouth. That should help, a little bit..”

Parker had nothing to lose by trying the anti-brain freeze technique; the problem came with the fact that she tried it after scooping more yogurt into her mouth which, of course, meant that she was pressing yogurt against the roof of her mouth. Now the roof of her mouth was cold! And she was laughing about it! About her easily made mistake. ”IT ALMOST WORKED! YOU’RE KINDA SMART!” Coming from anyone else that might’ve sounded like an insult instead of the genuine word of praise she meant it as.

“Well, it works a bit better if you don’t take a bite of the cold stuff first, y’know? Try again! And thanks, I think I’m pretty smart myself.” It certainly wasn’t taken as insult, Brian seemed to enjoy the praise that came from her. Taking another, large bite of the chocolate and peanut butter cup he’d made himself, Brian wondered if it was time to shoot his shot. It was basically now or never, right? What was the worst that happened? She said no and then he had to take her home? “Hey, Parker. I have a question.” There, he started his attempt.

She certainly did try again, this time making sure to leave her spoon away from her mouth; to her great surprise the trick worked - her brain didn’t feel like it lived in a blizzard anymore which, of course, opened her up to taking another scoop guilt free. Because of the size of her scoops, her yogurt was starting to look a bit lopsided, but she didn’t seem to mind as she continued picking away, albeit with smaller scoops. Like with the hamburger the other night her mouth, and eyes, were bigger than her stomach. ”IT’S NOT A MATH QUESTION IS IT? BECAUSE MINCY ANSWERS THOSE FOR ME.”

Brian quickly shook his his head in response, “No, no. Not a math question. On Friday, at Captain Cuddles, there’s… a movie that’s being shown? It’s like a date night. So I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?” The question hung in the air for only a second, before Brian quickly clarified, realizing that it was probably in his best interested to be exact. “Like a date. As boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Parker would have dropped her spoon if she hadn’t just taken another, smaller bite. It was probably for the best that she hadn’t. Much like she had when Brian asked her to ice cream, Parker was staring towards him, blinking, her mouth moving like she was a fish gasping for air out of water. There was nothing wrong with her hearing but the question asked of her needed a question as a response all the same. ”W...What?”

Oh man. Had he done something wrong? Did she not like him? Was he too forward? Oh geeze. Brian’s heart was rapidly falling, and he could feel himself getting uncharacteristically anxious. For someone who let everything roll off of his back, and who ran with the Elite… the shortest girl in the school was able to have quite the effect on him. “I was hoping that we could… go to the movie night at Captain Cuddles. Uhm, like a date? Like… boyfriend… and girlfriend. I’m sorry, if you don’t want to, it’s okay.” No it’s not. “I can just take you home.” Not the ending he wanted.

Parker continued to blink as her yogurt melted slowly. Hearing it again didn’t make it any less strange to hear. No one had ever asked her out to anything. Ever. She didn’t think anyone ever would - she wasn’t exactly tall or graceful, half the time she showed up with dirt on her knees and a distinct lack of an indoor voice. That explained the ice cream...why he was being so nice to her. ”O...Okay...YEAH.” Parker nodded her acceptance and even though she was being loud once again...it was a bit more muted than what she had been known for. There weren’t any cherries in her yogurt, but that didn’t stop her smile from turning her cheeks red.

It wasn’t typical of Hailey Green to wander the halls of her castle this late at night, dressed in her pajamas of a loose fitting t-shirt and a pair of red and black plaid pants. Speaking typically, she sent Butler to fetch her things, but she was rarely awake at this time of night. She knew damn well that Butler wasn’t up, and she wasn’t about to rouse him from his sleep so that he could go and get her and Hana some water. Butler was her best friend, and he’d already been put on trial hard enough by Riley. She could get her own water.

It was almost eerie how quiet it was walking through the halls this late at night. At least it was warm. Despite how crisp and cool the air outside may have been, the heated floors of the Stentorian Estate ensured its occupants never felt anything other than pure warmth. As Hailey approached the kitchen, she realized that she was perhaps not alone. At first, she thought it may have been her mother listening to music; Alyssa rarely slept, and it wouldn’t have been strange for her to be up, even at late hours such as two thirty in the morning, but Hailey rounded the corner, and saw who it was...

...it was pretty normal for Henry Green to wander the halls of his bitch mother’s house in the middle of the night, dress in his pajamas of a shirt one size too big and a pair of green and black plaid pants. Speaking typically, he liked to get his own things, and he was pretty often awake at this time of night. Usually? It was the drugs. But tonight… tonight it was something, or rather, someone else. In fact, Henry found it kind of hard to remember the last time he’d actually had drugs. Either way, Min-seo had requested a snack, so Henry was getting her a snack. Who else was gonna do it?



He didn’t much care for how quiet it was in the halls, so once he arrived at his destination of the kitchen, Henry turned on some music. He was in his own world while he was putting something together for the girl who was waiting for him, so it more or less made sense that he didn’t turn his head to see who the newcomer was, until she cleared her throat.



At that point, Henry Green whipped around and assumed a karate stance, almost certain that his life was over. He looked perhaps even less threatening than one might expect Henry green to. Why? Because he was wearing huge oven mitts themed as Ninja Turtle hands. They belonged to his father. Once he saw who it was though, there was really only one thing Henry could find to say, as he dropped his over the top and perhaps too animated karate stance. “Hailey.”



“Henry.” Hailey couldn’t have been more disappointed in who it was that was in the kitchen if she wanted to be. She didn’t much care for her brother, and she had a feeling Henry felt the same, based on how terse their words for each other were. Even so, Hailey had resolved to be somewhat… friendlier, now that she was done ruling the school, so to speak. Ruling the world required a more, ahem, personable touch. Besides, she could hardly sentence Hana to a lifelong feud with her brother. Hailey would make nice. Starting… now.



Or, she would have, if the timer didn’t ding. After it went off, Henry spun back on his heel to face the oven, and pulled it open, before he took out the skillet that had the cheese covered soft pretzels he’d made himself and his lover. He sat it aside and turned his attention to Hailey, offering a bit of a grin. While Hailey may have intended to be nice, Henry had other plans.



After they said the line together, Henry snapped his fingers and the music cut, and he grinned at his sister as he grabbed a pair of forks out of drawer and threw them onto a plate, before he transplanted the pretzel cheesy. “Brian said you beastmoded his little quest, and now he’s focused on Parker — she’s happy. I’m happy. We good, Hailey. We good.” He smiled and tore off the protective oven mitts he was wearing. Henry was good vibes all throughout; his life was really on the up, and… maybe it was the light of Min-seo being herself, but… feuding with his sister felt almost pointless now.

Hailey raised eyebrow. Helped Brian with his quest? She was confused for a moment, before she realized. “Oh, that bit with the ‘Weekend Warrior?’ It’s no trouble, one last flex of influence before I step away from my… position. I’m bored with my game around the school, I have more interesting things to do now.” She explained, watching as Henry got his plate ready to bring back to his room, before she commented. “You seem… happy, to say the least.”

”Yeah… I am. I think… I think I’m love?” Henry offered as an explanation. Hailey’s response was unexpected, and caused her brother to be the one to look surprised. “Hm. Me, too.”

“Well… how about that?” Henry had his plate in his hand now, balancing it on his palm. Before Hailey could respond, he spoke up again. “Hey, Hailey?” She nodded to indulge him, and Henry carried on with a sly smile peeling up on his lips. “You know who fucks real good?” Hailey was left at a point where she may regret her next move. She could continue to pursue the answer, and risk hearing something stupid fall from her brother’s lips… or she could silence him, and risk breaking their freshly and apparently amicable relationship.

She chose what was, in her mind, the lesser of two evils. “...hm?”

Henry took a step closer, and leaned in real close to his sister’s face, with that tiny smile still on his lips, nodding his head slowly. “Korean girls.” The small smile burst into a huge one and Henry held up his fist for Hailey to bump.

Well, that wasn’t too bad. Maybe her brother wasn’t the piece of shit Hailey had convinced herself he was. Even she had a smile on her face, as she lifted her hand up and balled it into a fist, “yes, they do.” She tapped her fist against Henry’s and Henry slowly pulled his hand away, adding one last word of finality.

“Boom.”

With that, Henry headed back to his room with his pretzels in hand. It was a bit of a longer walk for him; given how their rooms were on opposite wings of the house, it took a similar amount of time for Hailey to get two glasses of water and return to her room as it did for Henry to get to his place, despite the lead he had. They were in sync as they opened the doors to their rooms, where their lovers were waiting.

Their sync carried on, as both the eldest and middle Green siblings has the same thing on their mind. Both sat what they brought back from the kitchen on the bedside table and quickly crawled into bed atop their lovers, Hana and Min-seo. Both then said the same thing…

“Now… where were we?”

And both sealed their question with a kiss.

“Damian? Where are you?”

Damian was kind of surprised that his father was calling him, but he was even more surprised that he opened with such a bold, questionable question. “I am at a parking garage. Why, what’s up?” It wasn’t a lie; Damian was indeed on top of a parking garage, where he was watching the sunset on the Beverly Hills area; the skyline wasn’t bad. Sure, it wasn’t a mountain, but… these fuckin’ things were basically the next best thing, as far as ‘stuff to be on top of to dramatically watch the sunset on your city’ went.

“Right… when are you coming home? Your mom is not happy.”

Good. She was being a child. “Well… so am I! You weren’t there earlier today, Dad! She’s acting like a child, and I don’t wanna deal with it. It’s not cool. I’m almost an adult! When she wants to treat me like it, I’ll come home.” There, that made sense in his head, it was sure to make sense in his Dad’s. They usually saw eye to eye on this sort of thing…

“Right… I dunno, man. She’s being petty, for sure, but you’re not mu—”

Okay, now it was Damian’s turn to go on the offensive. If his Dad was gonna say he was being childish that was one thing, but he definitely wasn’t being as bad as his mom, who all but fucking ignored him. “Dad! I’m going through a lot right now, okay?! I got kicked off the team because I threw a party that got a little out of control! Mom came in and went ballistic on live closed circuit television! So I already knew that was gonna go poorly, and guess what happened next? I started hanging out with Joy more, so today, I had to tell Ender that I’m falling in love with his daug—”

“Wait, wait. Did you say love?! I thought you were just trying to have sex with her! This is a big deal! Did you tell your mother!?”

There, now Connor was back on his side. The fact that he had to even work so hard to get it this way was kind of annoying, “nO! She was too busy embarrassing me by acting like a child and pretending like I’m a baby that’s gonna crawl to her and beg for forgiveness. I wanted to introduce her to my new girlfriend! But now that has to wait until Friday.” Damian made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a ‘hmph.’

“I mean, yes. I got the reservations and texted Ender. My part of the work is done, but… you should try to apologize to her before dinner. Just… say you’re sorry. Sometimes, it’s better with women to just admit you lost, rather than fight it.”

Connor was offering fatherly advice, and Damian accepted it with a bit of a sigh. “Yeah, okay. I’ll come to talk to her again — with Joy again. But you have to talk to her and tell her to act like an adult. I’m an adult. We can have an adult conversation — or she can at least scream at me a lot instead of what happened.”

“Alright, alright… I’ll talk to her. Do you have a place to stay tonight?”

“Sure. Trev’s, Brian’s… I’ll be fine. Thanks for looking out, though.” Damian shook his head. At least his dad was trying; he appreciated that.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure. I love you, bud. I’ll see you Friday.”

“I love you too, Dad. I’ll see you then — maybe Thursday depending on how I’m feeling.” Damian was willing to try and talk to her earlier, maybe. It really depended on how his Thursday went, because he might not be in the mood…

“Alright. I’ll talk to her tonight. Bye. Good night.”

“Bye. Good night.” Damian took the phone from his ear and shook his head. Well, at least he’d watched the sunset…

Zach didn’t think it was normal to be awake at this time. It was five thirty in the morning! Five forty five A.M.? It shouldn’t even have been time! But… Owen had told him to be here at this time, and Zach really wanted to learn how to fight. He had to, if he was going to date Sam. Plus, he had to train to become stronger, and he had to build muscle and stamina and all this other stuff he’d never thought about before. Why couldn’t he just keep reading comics in the comfort of his own bedroom, and make Sam love him without all this extra stuff?!

It was her call though, and if this was what she wanted, then he’d do it. He’d drag himself out of bed, every morning, at five o’clock sharp. He’d walk the two city blocks in the cold, and he’d meet Owen at the gym in the morning. He’d do everything he had to do, if that was what it took. He’d even do… this. “Wait, wait. Are you sure I need to do this?” He asked, looking down at the glass that Owen was trying to hand to him. Just because he was willing to do it, didn’t mean he’d roll over and bend.

“Drink the fucking eggs, young grasshopper.” Owen ordered, pushing the glass filled with four raw eggs against Zachary’s chest. “There’s more choline in raw eggs than there is in cooked eggs. Everybody knows that. Aren’t you a nerd or some shit? Choline is a micronutrient that helps increase muscle retention. You wanna beat Sam? Then you, young grasshopper, must drink the raw eggs to get choline so that the work we do isn’t fucking wasted.”

Zach found himself wondering if telling Owen he could call him ‘young grasshopper’ was a mistake. He reached out and looked at Owen, then back down at the glass, snatching it from his soon-to-be mentor. He sloshed the eggs around, and wondered what it was going to taste like. Feel like? Probably oily and greasy and gross. “...bottoms up.” He thought about pinching his nose, but had a feeling if he did that, then the end result would be Owen complaining that he didn’t do it right and that he had to do it again. Zach brought the glass to his lips, and tipped his head back, mouth open.

One after another, the four slimy egg yolks slid down his throat, and Zachary immediately found himself wondering if he’d ever get the taste or the feeling out of his mouth again. After he felt the last yolk get swallowed down, he pulled the glass away from his lips and wiped them before he went to hand the glass out to Owen. Owen, without a word, looked down at the remainder of… egg white goop left in the cup. “Coward. Drink it all.”

Oh Jesus. He probably was going to throw up. Straight up, projectile vomit all over his would-be trainer. Great Whatever. Do it for her.

Swallowing once, Zach took the lips up to his mouth again and tipped his head back again, this time drinking every drop that would slide out of the glass, and when it was done he held it back out to Owen, and this time the bigger boy accepted it. “Not bad. I’ll make a man out of you yet.” Owen accepted the glass from Zach and started to walk away. It was for the best, as he didn’t see the smile light up on Zach’s face, the nauseous feeling that he felt very suddenly falling away.

“Let’s get down to business, to defeat the huns!” Zach had to commend Owen on his taste, though when the taller young man stopped walking, and spun around to look at Zach with a questioning look on his face, Zach could only raise a quiet question. “Uh… Mulan, right? That’s what you were talking about?”

“What the fuck is a ’Moo-lan’? That sounds fucking homo. Leave that shit at the goddamn door.” Owen scoffed, and shook his head, spinning around on his heel and beginning to head over to the gym’s tiny kitchen again. This time, Zach was quick to hurry after him, not sure when their first lesson would actually begin.

“It’s a movie? A Disney movie. You really haven’t seen it?” Zach questioned, and Owen looked over his shoulder, with a look on his face that spoke more than words ever could. As he looked away, Zach meekly added. “^{I guess you haven’t then…}”

“Do I strike you as the type of motherfucker that watches Disney movies? I don’t make no weak-ass pop culture references neither. Never!” Owen said, a they stepped into the kitchen and he rinsed the glass out, scrubbing it with a sponge as he spoke to the boy who was standing behind him and waiting (Owen had to give him credit) patiently for the next command. “Alright, kid. First step is: we prepare the gym for open. Now a lotta people think that we should be open 24 hours a day. These people are idiots. Those assholes should refer to the sign. Sign says 365 Combat Club. Sign don’t say 24 Hours, 365 Days a Year Combat club. That would be too big! It probably wouldn’t even fit on a sign, morons!” Owen seemed to have a personal vendetta against people who thought they should have been open 24 hours a day.

Wait, he really had to help open the gym? Zach thought Owen was kidding about that part! Note to self… Owen not really a kidder. Very literal person. Zach was going to have to remember to write this stuff down. Who knows how long it would take him to get good enough to beat Sam? That was the end goal here, after all. “Uhm, should I be working on climbing the rope? Sam said I can have a rematch when I can get halfway up the rope.” He asked, hoping to circumvent the act of opening the gym.

“Young grasshopper, even if you could climb all the way up the rope — which you can’t, by the way. No choline, no core strength — Sam would slap the gotdamn taste out ya mouth —”

“That’s Training Day.” Zach said, without thinking. Owen turned around to raise an eyebrow, while Zach carried on. “With Denzel Washington and Ethan hunt? Dude, come on. It’s like Denzel’s best movie! And I’m pretty sure it’s Ethan Hunt’s only movie...” He offered, and Owen shook his head. Did this guy not get it?

“I don’t make references, damn you. Stop accusing me of that, it’s something done by people who can’t carry conversations on their own. Now, where was I? Right. You have no base to stand on. You’re a scrawny little nerd, and Sam’s got like a goddamn foot on you, and probably like forty pounds — though I’ll admit it’s probably mostly in her ass, she ain’t exactly soft. Sam will run through you like a hot knife through butter, like a mack truck through a Honda civic. You will climb the rope when I find you ready, young grasshopper.”

Geeze. Okay, so apparently he was serious about the reference stuff. That might be a problem, Zach had a bit of a habit of… well, understanding references. And half the fun was someone understanding them with you! “Okay, okay. Well, what does opening the gym consist of?”

“You will be… stacking plates!”

That one took Zach about forty minutes… people didn’t rack weights properly, and he had to fix it across the gym as a whole. Some of them were heavy! And whoever was using the bench press last? Must have been a fucking titan! There was almost one hundred and fifty pounds on both sides… Owen mentioned that he’d probably see the guy who was hitting that one; and see Owen slapping him upside the head for leaving his plates on the bar like a jackass.

“...sweeping my floors!”

That was easier. Sweeping was pretty simple, it was something that Zach even did at home. Though… Owen did make him sweep in a certain stance. It wasn’t exactly the Karate Kid, so Zach was careful not to call him out on it. Owen also yelled at him for slouching too much, so by the end of task two, Zach was standing up straight almost naturally. For what it was worth, he was damn near 5’3” when he stood up straight. Who knew?

“Restocking the drink fridge!”

Now, while Zach wasn’t about to complain about the stuff Owen was having him do, he was pretty sure that the supplier they bought Gatorade from was supposed to do this. Zach got yelled at for his method for lifting the crates of Gatorade; apparently lifting with a twisting jerking motion wasn’t what you were supposed to do. That, Zach didn’t understand, because lifting with his legs? It wasn’t exactly easier. But, nonetheless, he did it. By the end of it, he found himself to be exhausted. Maybe it was carrying the crates of Gatorade from the back room, maybe it was a combination of that and stacking the plates from earlier… didn’t matter, the end result was the same:

Zach was allowed to break and drink a Gatorade, and for the not the first time that day, he found himself wiping sweat off of his brow.

“And, finally… checking the chalk powder at the different stations.”

This one was easy enough. Owen had Zach carry two heavy bags filled with the powder (one on each shoulder), and he went to each weightlifting station, and refilled the containers. When that was done, each bag was just about empty, and Owen explained they only did that about once a month. When he finished, Zach took a seat on the weightlifting bench, and Owen threw him another Gatorade, which Zach caught — though he damn near dropped it.

“Not bad kid. You need to work on how you pick things up. You tweak your back? You’re never gonna beat Sam. And work on keeping your head up and your back straight. It’s good for you. A strong posture means a strong person. Romantic partners — well, people in general really — like a strong person. Work on that. You’re dismissed, it’s almost school time, isn’t it?”

Wait… that was it?! They didn’t even do anything! “Wait! I don’t think we did anything. How am I supposed to learn to beat Sam if all I do is open the gym? You’re supposed to teach me how to fight. ...is it really almost school!?” He looked down at his watch, and was shocked to see that it said 7:30. Goddamn… was he slow, or was that a lot of work!?

“Look, whether you realize it or not… that was a pretty solid workout. In time, you’ll get faster, and we can do more in the mornings. For now? Just show up after school, we can lift a little bit, and if you feel alright after that, I can show you a couple of moves.”

Zach had to admit, Owen kind of had a point. He was definitely exhausted after he’d finished the chalk powder exercise, and that was at least a sign he was putting some work out… “Okay, I can come by after school… Every day?”

Owen frowned, “Every day? What? No. Pace yourself, killer. Ain’t a sprint. This a marathon, if you wanna beat Sam, you gonna have to work hard. We do lifting on Thursdays, Mondays, and Wednesdays. We do cardio on Tuesdays and Fridays. Saturdays are variety; mostly leg days. Sunday is the lord’s day of rest. You ain’t me so you ain’t gotta do nothin’ on those days.” Oh, that reminded him. He was going to ask about the ‘Sam Lassiter, vs Sam Assister’ thing. He’d promised Same. “Hey, kid. Are you just tryna to get your hands on Sam Assister?” He folded his arms over his chest as he posed his question, adjusting his stance just the slightest bit. “Because… if you are, you should just quit now. You’ll never do it with that being the reason.”

“S-Sam Assiter? I thought her last name was Lassister...” Zach asked, pausing for the briefest of moments before it very suddenly dawned on him. “No! I don’t want her because of her butt! Have you ever listened to her sing? It’s wonderful, it’s fantastic, it’s amazing, it’s spectacular it’s… it’s magical. I just want to listen to her talk and sing while we like… I dunno, cuddle. Her butt’s just like a bonus, I guess…”

“Heh. Alright. Same can’t sing though.” Owen shook his head, but gestured toward the door, “I’ll see you after school, yeah?”

“...I kind of… need a ride… and I was hoping you could pick me up after school… If I have to come here, I mean. My mom and dad have work...”

“What?! UGH. Fine, let me let my girl know. TRIXIE! I GOTTA TAKE MY YOUNG GRASSHOPPER TO SCHOOL! BE RIGHT BACK!” What? Trixie was probably awake by now, and if she wasn’t… well, she was now. With that, Owen gestured toward the door, and led the way to his car. Once they were loaded in, he drove Zach to the front of the school, let him out, and then finally pulled out his phone to text Samantha.

To: Same

hey i talked 2 the kid. think he mite be gay. he said he wants 2 beat u in a fight because he loved listenin 2 u sing, and he just wants 2 cudle and listen to u tak. not sure about straitness, idk. ded serious he said ur singin is ‘wonderful, fantastic, amazing, spectaculur… magikal.’ its on the security tapes dude i’ll show u if u dont believe me. either way.

since he said all that bout ur singing

we know he a liar, but

he aint in it 4 ur booty so thats good rite???

God, Owen hated texting. He wasn’t good at it. It wasn’t his fault, he just wasn’t a very good speller and had big fingers, okay? Sam knew him well enough to decipher what he said.

After the hellish explosion of emotions that was Wednesday, Marshall was determined to make Thursday an improvement. When you hit the bottom of a slump, the only way to go is up. Up, up, up! Once again avoiding his friends — if he could still consider any of them that given the recent revelation of lies and treachery — Marsh checked out of homeroom and was spending his time in the theater wing this morning. Gathering the lyrics and sheet music for his after school vocal lessons from his music locker, Marsh headed towards the practice rooms.

While passing by he nodded at a fellow thespian, a sophomore named Grace who seemed to be staring at him. She had a paper in her hand that, if he were to look closely, he would recognize as a copy of the school newspaper. “Hey Marshall,” Grace greeted and began to follow after him as he walked by and her best friend, a ditzy dirty blonde-haired girl named Anna, followed by her side. “Not all of the Candies are so sour, right?” Grace asked sheepishly, causing Marshall to pause beside the lockers.

“What?” He asked in confusion.

“Yeah, did you know?” Anna chimed in with a nosey curiosity, hunting for a juicy bit of gossip.

“Oh my god, Anna! You can’t just ask if he knew!” Grace exclaimed following a shocked gasp. Panicked, she looked between her best friend and one of the talented upperclassmen that she idolized.

“Seriously, what are you guys talking about?” Marshall inquired, though, if he really let himself think the situation through, he knew exactly what they were talking about. The real question was, how did they know?

“So… you didn’t know then.” “Oh, wow.” The girls said in unison, followed by Grace handing Marshall her copy of the school paper. She winced slightly, “I’m really sorry to be the bearer of bad news, please don’t shoot the messenger? We’ll just, uhm, leave you to reading that. See you later, Marshy!” Grace said before both girls rushed off, Anna leaning in to whisper in Grace’s ear as they did so.

Thursday was supposed to be a good day. An improvement from the day before. Alas, here Marshall sat, alone in a practice room reading Jamie’s latest piece in the gossip column. He normally loved that column because a) it was Jamie and b) it was gossip, but today, today the words printed on that page burned him. He wasn’t done processing the turmoil his friend group was suddenly in, and now the whole school knew about it. This was too much, too fast.

He didn’t cry. There was no more time or energy left for tears. Instead, Marshall Radley was livid, and his anger would be directed at one specific person. One blond-haired, blue-eyed person, who was probably still holed up in the very same room where he had written this trash the day before. Marshall stormed in through the door of the newspaper room where, lo and behold, Jamie Callaghan was sitting. Dramatic as always, Marsh threw the paper he held down on the desk where Jamie sat, “What the fuck is this?”

Jamie’s day, up until now, had been amazing. He’d always been well known around school, but today, he was practically walking the red carpet. Everyone wanted to know whether or not the story he’d printed was true. His answer? “When was the last time I lied in an article?” That normally shut them up, stunning them into silence. Today though, the sharks had smelled blood, and they wanted more. By the time he’d found solace in the newspaper room, he’d lost track of the girls who’d come up to him begging for more details, the hushed conversations he’d overheard about whether HOT was dead or not. So, when Marshall opened the door, Jamie had grinned, relieved to see a friendly face, one who wouldn’t bombard him with questions.

Except his face wasn’t so friendly.

“It’s my article?” Jamie said in response to Marshall’s theatrics, his confusion clear in his tone. Why was Marshall so mad about this? He knew this was his job, right? Jamie had to put this stuff out there, not to mention, this story was hopefully going to snag a bunch of readers, enough to save the dying paper.

Marshall let out an exasperated breath, which hissed between his teeth as he rolled his eyes. Was Jamie being for real right now? The drama king folded his arms across his chest and hardened his gaze on the aspiring journalist in front of him. When Jamie still gave no response other than what appeared to be genuine confusion, Marshall grew even more frustrated. Did he have any right to be angry about this? Probably not, but being mad seemed more productive than continuing to wallow in sadness. At least he felt like he was actually doing something about this shitstorm now.

“Seriously?” He asked in an accusatory tone, cocking up one eyebrow. “Yeah, it’s your article, but did you actually process what you wrote before you put it out there? Did you even think at all about the impact.” Marshall put a drawn out emphasis on nearly every other word as he spoke, pausing only long enough to give Jamie a chance to defend himself. Surely whatever that defense was, would be a treat.

“Of course I did! I thought that it would save the newspaper, and knock Hailey, and Ophelia, off of the pedestals we all put them on!” Jamie wasn’t totally sure when he’d started shouting, or when he’d stood up, but now he was standing and shouting, and he wasn’t backing down. Jamie was running on low sleep, but it didn’t help that one of the few people he thought he could trust was attacking him right now, rather than supporting him. “Look, Marsh, I know that you’re friends with Ophelia, but that doesn’t make her untouchable! I get it, I’m a gossip columnist, and so my journalism isn’t real, but I still have ethics! Ophelia and Hailey did a bad thing, and they got what they deserved.”

“Wowww...” Both of Marshall’s eyebrows shot up now that Jamie was, quite literally, fighting back. He shook his head, a laugh escaping his lips that could be mistaken for amusement, the look on his face portraying anger, and the light sheen in his eyes was the only thing in his appearance displaying how upset he was internally. Here was a boy that felt like he was losing everyone that mattered to him in school, and now he was probably going to lose Jamie because of this too. “I really don’t think you did think about it, if that is the reason you think I’m here. Jesus, Jamie, can you take a step out from under your journalist hat for just a minute? Please?”

Overcome with frustration and emotion, Marshall ran his hands over his face and sighed into them. He turned away from Jamie and paced for a few moments to cool down. He had been yelling, Jamie had been yelling, they weren’t going to accomplish anything except for drawing unwanted attention doing that. Marshall calmly turned back to the blond, his face only mildly softer, “Okay, you’re a writer, and I’m an actor. Let’s do a little role reversal here, and maybe then you can see things from my perspective. To start, tell me, Jamie, who are your three closest friends? Don’t think too long, just the first three close friends that come to mind. And of those three, who is your best friend?”

Jamie gritted his teeth and exhaled slowly through his nose, trying his very best not to lose it again. After another deep breath, he said “Selena. Selena’s probably my best friend,” he said. He didn’t bother to continue and say that Selena was probably his only friend. Being the school’s gossip columnist didn’t really make Jamie prime friendship material.

Marshall blinked, waiting for the other two names. When Jamie didn't give them, the realization dawned on Marshall. Jamie probably didn't have three close friends, he only ever hung out with Selena that Marshall knew of. That was… kind of sad, but it also wasn't the point of this exercise. Without letting this little speed bump ruin his plans to teach Jamie even an ounce of empathy, Marshall pressed on.

“Okayyy…. Well, imagine that when you were a kid, you moved all the way across the country. You were at a brand new school, with no friends, and the first person you talked to was Selena. She showed you the ropes, introduced you to people, hung out with you. Over the years, she became your best friend, one of the most important people in your life… hell, probably one of the first people you officially came out to. You adore her, and she means the world to you. And then, she lies to you. For months. And it isn't just a little lie, it's a big one, one that caused your two other best friends, which are mutual friends of you and Selena, to break up. But of course, you didn't know that the break up was based on Selena's lie, so you were forced to choose sides between your best friend in the world and the girl who got cheated on, versus the guy who did the cheating. Naturally, you trust your best friend. Over time, though, the guilt starts to get to you, and you miss that guy friend and want to patch things up. But he's super strong and he kind of wants you dead, so it's really scary to do that. And the night that you finally get the balls to apologize for being a bad friend and abandoning him, you find out that the whole reason your friendship has been ruined, is because Selena has been lying to you. Lying to all of you.”

Marshall took a breath and grew quiet for a moment before he continued. “Now imagine that the very next morning, before you've even had a chance to process why your social life is in ruins, nor the chance to talk to Selena about it… imagine that I wrote an article telling the whole school all about it. And imagine that I didn't even have the decency to tell you I was going to write about it. I didn't even check to make sure that you were okay. How would that make you feel?” Marsh chewed at his lip and looked down to hide the growing sheen in his eyes. “Because I'm really, really not okay, Jamie… and you didn't even think about that.”

Jamie sighed. He got it now, or at least, he got it from Marshall’s perspective. Taking a deep breath, Jamie went on to do something he rarely ever did. Admit fault. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you before I printed it, but I needed to get this story out. If I’d waited, someone else would’ve found out and it would’ve been across the school in a couple hours, you know that.”

Jamie’s words hung in the hair for a moment, before he stepped out from behind his desk and towards Marshall. “I should’ve talked to you about it, and I’m sorry that I didn’t. But I’m not sorry that I wrote that article. I am sorry, though, that you have to deal with all this. You don’t deserve it.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry you didn’t tell me too. You were the one thing I was letting myself look forward to, you know? … you weren’t supposed to make things worse.” Marshall sat down in the nearest chair and propped his head up with his elbows against the table, looking both wounded and exhausted. “I can’t believe any of this. It’s fucking crazy… I…” He sighed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. Last night was the most miserable dinner I have ever h—” As he recalled his eventful night at the Lyon’s, his eyes widened. “Oh, jesus, Jamie. You really fucked up, you should be sorry you wrote this. He’s going to kill you for real this time. He literally saved your ass the other day, and you repaid him by airing out his dirty laundry to the whole school.”

This conversation had been venturing back towards safety, towards a reality where this fight was something stupid, and then Marshall brought up Owen. Jamie rolled his eyes, and scoffed. “I don’t owe Owen anything, and I don’t see why you do either. He attacked you at Damian’s party! Full on, almost killed you! I’m not scared of him, and nobody else should be,” Jamie exclaimed, pacing around. “We let these guys do whatever the hell they want! They beat people up, they play God with our love lives, they treat all of us like pawns in their game! Then, they go home, and nothing happens. Because their parents worship the ground they walk on, and nothing changes. Hailey Green will grow up to be just as bitchy and closed off as she is now, and Owen will be the same psychopath in twenty years! So what, he comes and kicks my teeth in? At least I’ll hold him accountable.”

Marshall rolled his eyes and shook his head at Jamie's spiel. “It’s not their game, it's Hailey's. Always has been. And if you think you are a pawn, it's because you let yourself be one. You think she didn't account for our school's journalistic response? You, the Weekend Warrior? You guys are giving her what she wants, even if you think you aren't.” He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. “And you're dead wrong about not owing Owen something, those goons would have wrecked you if not for him… and he reacted the way he did at the party the same way an animal reacts when you back it into a corner. He's just a high school kid who got his heart broken and lost his best friend because the same person you claim to be so against fucked everyone over. Now you put him in the public eye again, he didn't ask for that, and he doesn't deserve it. It's not a matter of me feeling like I owe him something, I'm here because he's my friend and I care about him. Maybe that's something you'd understand if you could actually list more than one friend when I asked for three.” Marshall's own words knocked the wind out of him briefly. He wasn't used to being so blatantly mean, he wasn't even sure why he said that, but he wasn't going to take it back now. “I’m going to figure out how to fix this mess. Try to keep your teeth.” He said before turning on his heel to leave Jamie alone with his thoughts in the newspaper room.

“MARSHALL!”

There he was. Marshall was a hard dude to find when you can’t just look for the chatty table with all the girls at it, and instead have to look for the table that had all the genders and they were all chatty and it was confusing and this whole school thing was a bit much. Every day, Kit came a little bit closer to regretting her decision to not be homeschooled. It would have had its pros and its cons… pros and cons…

Kit shook her head, swinging her lunch bag up into the air, before she plopped down beside Marshall, without a care in the world for the people surrounding her. She took a deep huff, and looked up at her friend, “dude. You look like you found a kitten that was living in a bush near your house, and then you took the kitten in after like a week of coaxing it out of its home, and then you raised the kitten as your own and like you loved it and called it Oliver and everything was good right? And then after a few months of raising this kitten YOU STEPPED ON ITS TAIL. You look like how I imagine someone would look after they stepped on their adopted kitten’s tail.”

Marshall looked up from the bowl of soup that he had just been absently stirring while scrolling through Instagram. He was sitting at a table full of thespians today, instead of his usual crew, and he didn’t much feel like talking. If he hadn’t already taken so much time off this year, he probably would have tried to leave again. Now that Kit had made a grand entrance, however, there wasn’t much opportunity for him to wallow in his sads. Listening to her convoluted metaphor, he nodded, “Yeah, that sounds about right. You didn’t come here to drug me again, right? Not that it doesn’t sound fun, but like, I have school work and stuff. Anyway… what’s up? Have a seat, the cost to be here is that you try out for the musical though, just sayin’.” Marshall said with a slight smirk.

Well, that was hardly fair… “But Marshall! It’s really… urgent and stuff!” Kit protested. She didn’t wanna try out for the musical! She wasn’t a very good singer — she just had a lot of energy. Plus, she might be left alone with Shauna some more, and she wasn’t too sure she was ready for that sort of thing... “Okay, okay. Fine I’ll try out for the musical. Now I need your help! It’s, like… immensely important.”

“Alright, alright.” Marsh said with another smirk and then laughed. He set his phone down and pushed his soup aside before tapping the table in front of him. “Sit down and tell me about the emergency. Do I have to fight someone for you? Because, to be honest, I’m not really that tough, and I’m all out of fight today, but I’ll do it if I have to.”

Kit blinked a couple of times, before shaking her head. If she needed someone to fight for her, then she wouldn’t come to Marshall first. Marshall was soft and squishy, like a marshmallow. Not much of a scrapper! “Nah, it’s not that. If I need someone to fight for me, I gots AJ and Scott. They’re like… real ghetto, they’d take someone out back and stick a screwdriver in their neck. I need your help with…. Uhm…” Marshall visibly glowered at the mere mention of AJ’s name. That was still a sore subject, especially when he was being compared to him.

Kit pulled her phone out and scrolled to her Gallery app, though before she tapped it she looked around at the others with eyes that could only be described as ‘shifty.’ After a couple of seconds, though, she shrugged her shoulders. Whatever! She tapped the Gallery app and pulled up a selection of… choice photos she’d been texted by Min-seo a few nights ago, and shoved the phone in Marshall’s face, “is this… you know big???” She questioned, staring up at Marshall as he waited for his answer.

Marshall had no idea what to expect. He watched as the tiny blonde flipped through whatever it was that she was so eager about on her phone. When she finally shoved the phone in his direction, he cocked an eyebrow up curiously and took it from her. He looked down casually and— “Oh my god, Kit!” Marshall exclaimed in a panicked whisper as he clapped the phone down with his hand blocking the screen. He looked around his shoulders to make sure there wasn’t anyone behind him that might have seen. Getting suspended for looking at dick pics at school would probably be the gayest thing that any male had been suspended for in the history of ever, so he could not let that happen. Seeing that the coast was, in fact, clear, Marshall held the phone closer to his chest and took another good, hard look. And boy, was it hard.

“Jesus…” Marshall scrolled back and forth through the images with wide eyes. He looked from the phone, back to Kit, then back to the phone. “That’s some… wow. That’s some next level d, like, damn. Where do you even put it all? You’re so tiny! I didn’t know you even had a boyfriend, you moved on quick from Sel. Who’s the lucky guy, then?”

Aha! So that all but confirmed it then. It was big. Kit had a feeling, but she hadn’t been sure if it was just looking big because of Min’s admittedly tiny body and hands, but Marshall’s reaction satisfied her curiosity, though when he asked where she put it, she stared at him and shook her head, “What? No, that’s not mine. That’s my best friend’s boyfriend’s. Uhm… what’s his name?” She paused for a moment looking up at the ceiling. “Something with a color… it’s a name that ages well! Oh, yeah! Henry Green. That’s the lucky guy.” Kit said, grinning; she hadn’t been sure if she was going to remember! “See, it looked big! But I have no frame of reference… so I had to ask to make sure. It’s important. Min-seo put it, uh… everywhere. I have some pictures of some of that too… You can just scroll around if you want.” Kit left it up to him, though her smug smile never left her lips. She hooked Min up with the right guy!

Henry Green? “You’re shitting me!” Was Marshall’s first and immediate reaction. That was an unexpected name, not that Marsh had ever really pondered the sole son of the Green family’s size before, it was just… surprising. “Henry… no shit.” He said and looked back down at the phone, nodding in appreciation. “Well, he sure would make a damn good top…” Finally registering all of what Kit had said, Marshall looked back up at her. “Wait, your best friend’s boyfriend? Why… why do you have these pics then, Kit? No, I don’t want to see your het friends totally going at it, I’m good, thanks though.” Marsh said with a laugh and slid the phone, screen side down, back over to her across the table.

“Min sent them to me because I got her and Henry together with my magical powers and I’d never seen one before and I really wanted to. So Min-seo helped me out. She’s the best, and she clearly has excellent taste in men.” Kit took her phone back and dropped it into her pocket, satisfied. She was happy to know that Min-seo’s boyfriend was, in fact, big. Big enough that Marshall had reacted strongly, and… “I figured you’ve seen the most dicks out of everyone I know, so like I figured you’d be a good judge of quality! Hey, what’s a top?”

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or a diss… I mean, I’m not that much of a slag.” Marshall mused on that thought. After this summer, maybe he kind of was, but Kit didn’t know about that. No one did. At Kit’s final question, Marshall froze, wide-eyed. Oh no, did she really not know? She was so young, should he tell her? Well, she was the one who just shamelessly showed him dick pics, so anything goes now. “Really? It’s a gay thing, you know... top… pitcher… the guy who prefers giving the dick.” He explained slowly, waiting for a lightbulb of recognition, but also assuming that she might just be memeing on him.

“There’s a name for that!? I thought… I thought you guys just like… like, I dunno, did oral and stuff?” Damn. Kit shook her head and looked at Marshall, the complete sincerity apparent in the underclassmen’s face, “Dude, you see that wall?” She pointed toward a wall behind her, “and you see that splatter?” She more specifically pointed at a stain on the wall. “That’s my mind, because you just blew it. Top? Pitcher? That’s wild. Wait, so which one are you? Wait, I already know. You’re the other one. I bet it’s a ‘catcher.’ You’re the catcher. You good at catchin’ balls, mate? I bet you’re a professional ball catcher.” Well, Kit was in on it now. “You’re a Marshmallow, so you’re probably like all soft and stuff. I’d let you catch my balls.”

“Oh… my… god…” Marshall responded, sinking in his seat and hiding the growing blush on his cheeks with his hand. “Can you please not yell that?” Despite the embarrassment, or perhaps because of it, Marsh laughed quietly. “There’s not just ‘the other one’. There’s top, bottom, and verse. Verse goes both ways, depending on the mood. Which of the three I am, will forever be a mystery, my dear. And I do not want to, nor will I ever, catch your balls.” He laughed again and shook his head, pushing his bowl of soup back in front of him to continue eating. After taking a bite, he tilted his spoon to the side and asked, “Did you really think we only do oral? That’s like… living your whole life eating only dessert, when you could enjoy a four-course meal. It’d be so sad…”

“Totally a bottom. I can read you like an open book, my guy.” Kit teased, waving her phone at Marshall. She wasn’t like sure she was in a position to tease him like that, but she was going to do it anyway. No fear in Kit’s dojo. “I kinda did! I didn’t know… I never thought about… the butt.” Kit muttered, before she leaned in way close to Marshall, whispering in a low tone. “^{You poop from there, man. No one should have… in the butt!}” She protested, shaking her head before she popped up and kissed Marshall on the cheek.

“Hey, thanks for your help! I really needed to know. I’m gonna go do Kit-stuff now. Love you! Hey, remember to tell your friends you love them, remember to be apologetic for your mistakes and accepting of apologies for theirs, and above all else, remember… high school does end, and life gets a lot better! The Doc told me that this morning when I was gettin’ ready for work. He said, ‘Kit-Kat, it’s gonna get real dramatic at work. Remember all this, and tell your friends too.’ People make mistakes, Marshy. They make bigg’uns. You have to look past them. Remember who you are. That’s not from dad, that’s from the internet.”

Conversations with Kit were a lot like getting whiplash sometimes. The subject changed so fast that Marshall couldn’t even teasingly educate her on the other things people do in the bedroom involving butts. He blinked slowly in response to the sudden shift in tone. “Yeah… everyone makes mistakes, I know. And remember who you are isn’t just from the internet, it’s from the Lion King, dude. That’s like the best of the vintage Disney movies! If you haven’t seen it, I’m scheduling us a movie night at my place, your attendance is required.”