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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Hexaflexagon
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Hexaflexagon

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Yeah, I don't think I have any issues.


Thank you Gowi-Senpai.

In other news I should sleep cause its like 1 Am.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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<Snipped quote by Inkarnate>

Thank you Gowi-Senpai.

In other news I should sleep cause its like 1 Am.


Maxx also got a hold of us on Discord and said it's good to go, so that's all three GMs. Welcome back.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
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Titans take a stand against alliteration Monday.

Or, for Bounce specifically, Titans Tuesday.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Hillan
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Hillan I'm a writer - Lying's what we do.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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And with that, I am caught up on the IC again.

@Ceta de Cloyes, really enjoying the dynamic between Mon-El and the rest of the Legion. Each of them feels really distinct and I love the commentary on Earth.

@IceHeart, I enjoyed the change of perspective in that latest Batgirl post. It was really nice getting the interior monologue especially since Batgirl was struggling with the villains getting away.

@Roman, that finale and epilogue were brilliant and definitely puts Daredevil in a very interesting spot going forward. Can't wait to see how he battles the Hand next Season.

@Dblade26 Brick is definitely one of the best antagonists of this season and the last post with Connor being tortured was almost heartbreaking. Really invested in reading his escape.

@Moskau Spieluhr, the banter between Nancy and Mari always is a strong point of your post and I can't wait to see how he continues to guide her towards becoming 'Vixen'.

@Hound55 I don't know why, but I feel very protective of your Hank Pym and if anything happens to him I'm going to kill everyone in this room and then myself. I really like his characterization and for some reason, I find him the easiest to empathize with.

@HenryJonesJr I need more Rocket and Korg in my life. The War World stuff has been a real treat and definitely a highlight of your season.

@ComradeMaxx & @DocTachyon, I'm not used to Spider-Man being so stand-offish but it's making for a rather unique collaboration and I am definitely interested to watch how the relationship between the Wallcrawler and X-Men develop from here.

Additionally, @ComradeMaxx Dr. Fate definitely has my attention and I will be watching his story rather closely.

@Retired, Kori is probably my favourite Titan right now, but I am rather concerned about Gar so if you could continue writing that perspective, that'd be great.

@Inkarnate, I'm really excited for Kara to actually fight something. We've gotten to know her and her world but I'm really waiting now to see her and Lex go toe to toe.

@Hillan, Thawne is a cocky prick, not going to lie I was definitely cheering for Rory and Snart. I really don't know at this point if Thawne is the hero of the story or the villain.

@Byrd Man, we've gotten a taste of the Shadow and it left me wanting more. Very interested to see where the story goes from here.

@webboysurf Cap's story is one of my favourites, it has got all the makings of a good spy film. But I really like where Arsenal is going and I immediately ran to your sheet to figure out who this mystery woman was at the end of your last post. I still don't know but I am eager to find out.

@Star Lord I'm enjoying seeing how conflicted and almost defeated Wonder Woman is right now. But I'm most interested in seeing how you're going to turn it around.

@The Bork Lazer, Static's story is giving me some major Spider-Man Homecoming vibes right now and I'm loving it. Interested to see how it all pans out between Static and the Electrocutioner.

@Natty, rather enjoyed the scene between Wong and Magik in the last post. The seeds of Shadowpact have been planted and I'm curious to watch it develop from here.

@Bounce, Old Man Grayson is definitely a hit with me, I love reading the world-weary character and I'm interested in seeing the upbeat and likely naive Toyboy playing off Dick as his foil. Additionally very interested to see how things end between Billy, Terrax and the Neutron Star.

@Simple Unicycle I'm not entirely sure where Blade's story is going to go but I can't wait to get back to some acrobatic, pragmatic vampire ass kicking.

Keep up the good work everyone and hopefully I didn't miss anyone.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
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@Retired, Kori is probably my favourite Titan right now, but I am rather concerned about Gar so if you could continue writing that perspective, that'd be great.


He dead.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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<Snipped quote by Lord Wraith>

He dead.


Damn, so young, so much potential.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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@Ceta de Cloyes, I love Amnesia, it's got a good feel. Might stop in for a drink after work.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ceta de Cloyes
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Ceta de Cloyes Roziphontes

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@Ceta de Cloyes, I love Amnesia, it's got a good feel. Might stop in for a drink after work.


ayyyyyy come on down and get smashed on some aldebaran rum! :P
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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<Snipped quote by Lord Wraith>

ayyyyyy come on down and get smashed on some aldebaran rum! :P


More of a whisky guy.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Stein
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Stein That's Queen Stein, thank you.

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C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L






P O S T C A T A L O G:

A list linking to your IC posts as they're created. This can be used for a reference guide to your character or to summarize completed arcs and stories.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Stein
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Stein That's Queen Stein, thank you.

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Ooo girl! It's been so long since I've had to put a sheet together. Shit, I forgot how long it can take.

Anywhore. There ya go. Enjoy.

Xoxo, Gossip Girl.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Byrd Man
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I wish RPG had a "love" button for that sheet.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
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High praise from Byrd.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
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Stein's clearly trying to take my position of best character proposal banner with this obviously mediocre attempt.
That looks really fucking good, Stein. I like it.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
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@Simple Unicycle

Continuing from where I left off on reviewing your posts. I decided to read through everything linked in your post catalog all at once so I could provide better feedback without constantly discussing things in the past as I went. And also because I figure that many of the things I said to you regarding the first post may hold true for several more of these, and I don't want to just rehash the same points to you over and over again. So, I'll only mention those things briefly to say whether I saw them improve or stay the same naturally over time, and the rest of this will focus on the narrative itself. Or, that's the goal as I start, at least, as I'll be writing these out in real time as I go.

Second Post:

I liked the start. The exposition as we followed Jeremy. There were a handful of poor diction choices - a lot of repetition - and some awkward syntax here and there, but mostly it was alright. I think, for me, your third-person narrative is much better than your first. Which is alright, the only way to improve is to keep doing it. But seeing the difference in how you write third-person compared to first makes a considerable difference in how I feel about your writing. For instance, I think the way you do combat from a first-person perspective leaves things chaotic, and not in a way that feels like it's on purpose.

That being said, I enjoy that you're going the Buffy route with the vampires dusting. And the introduction of Frank leaves me interested.
(Hoping you don't pull a Gowi and make Frank Drake related to Tim Drake.)

Fourth Post:

Hm. After reading this post, I'll adjust my previous comments. I think your first-person with Deacon, while still not quite the same as your third-person writing, was better than your Blade perspective. Part of this is definitely because you slowed things down and gave the character introspection. Deacon felt more like a character to me, whereas with Blade he's more of a dispensary for one-liners. Which, personally, I don't find makes for the best read without there being more to it.

Also, speaking of Deacon, I liked that you make him cold and calculating. Cliche for a villain, sure, but there's a reason it is cliche. It works, and I enjoy reading a manipulative bad guy who actually uses his mind as a weapon. For the most part, aside from more repetition, I enjoyed this portion of the post.

Fifth Post:

Alright, so I was initially disappointed that immediately after introducing Deacon as someone who is calm and contemplative, you throw him and Eric into battle. No buildup. And, while I still would have liked to see things fleshed out more before reaching the climax, I'm glad to see that you ended it the way you did. Also, your fight scenes here were much better done than previously, I feel. So much less chaotic. And the lack of constant one-liners every other line helped me enjoy the scene, personally.

I will say, though, that you really shouldn't do the whole "*cough cough*" thing mid-dialogue like that. Or at all when writing a story. Just cut the dialogue with actual words telling us that he's coughing, hacking up blood, gasping, etc. Not to sound rude, but the former comes off as amateurish. The asterisks thing only really works in casual, informal chat settings.

Sixth post:

Your first-person writing definitely improves when you slow things down and give time and space for exposition. I think adding in some introspection from Eric would also help things feel more natural and less chaotic.

Seventh Post:

All I can really think reading this post is that I wish there were more exposition and introspective moments. As an audience member to the narrative you're weaving, I want to feel like I'm in the story. I want to feel like these are real people, a real setting, real history to the world. Not saying you need to lore dump or go George R.R. Martin on us by any means, but just adding in some of these things here and there where they naturally fit can help people become more immersed in your story, as well as eager to read more.

Eighth Post:

I appreciate that you're weaving in the past narrative as a way to mirror the present. To me, I'm still not connecting with Eric as a character. I'm not finding any substance to him yet, personally. But I am interested in reading more about Deacon. So, I'm looking forward to seeing how that develops.

Also, I liked the ending of this post. That was nicely done.


All in all, for me, if you slowed things down just a little so things felt more naturally developed, and utilized some exposition and introspective inner monologuing more, I think your posts would benefit. As well as reading through your posts several times, out loud, to catch the awkward moments of repetition that are throughout your writing.

I'm enjoying the story you're telling more now than when it began. I don't think your opening post did justice to your capabilities at all. I hope to see more character development from Eric, and I am interested to see where you take Deacon moving forward. His story, both past and present, has my attention.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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A little later than I wanted, but I got it done. Next post will lead into a meta-fight and we'll see where that takes me.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Bounce
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Bounce

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Who is this Supergirl writer posting in the IC?

Are you new, sir? Welcome to Absolute.
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by mickilennial
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Who is this Supergirl writer posting in the IC?

Are you new, sir? Welcome to Absolute.

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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Hillan
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Hillan I'm a writer - Lying's what we do.

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A little later than I wanted, but I got it done. Next post will lead into a meta-fight and we'll see where that takes me.


I'm glad you finally found that pack of smokes.
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