Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Techne
Raw
Avatar of Techne

Techne Ghost

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@Lord Wraith
I ended up spending most of yesterday evening working on my application and because of that I was able to finish it a bit earlier than scheduled!

As mentioned earlier, this is my first time making a sheet like this... so to be honest I'm a little bit nervous! That being said if anyone after reading it has any constructive criticism about what I can do better before August - though I do suppose it will be hard to judge from one sample - I'd love to hear from you!


2x Like Like
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
Raw
Avatar of Retired

Retired "Hayao Miyazaki"

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Techne If you seriously want some constructive criticism, there are a few things I noticed on the grammatical side of things. Though, really, my advice will always boil down to "proofread your writing out loud to yourself at least once, then again each time you edit a portion." Most little, simple errors that could take someone out of the narrative can be caught that way.

I'm not a grammar Nazi, I swear...
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Hillan
Raw
Avatar of Hillan

Hillan I'm a writer - Lying's what we do.

Member Online

@Techne If you seriously want some constructive criticism, there are a few things I noticed on the grammatical side of things. Though, really, my advice will always boil down to "proofread your writing out loud to yourself at least once, then again each time you edit a portion." Most little, simple errors that could take someone out of the narrative can be caught that way.

I'm not a grammar Nazi, I swear...


You prefer Grammar Nationalist.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
Raw
Avatar of Retired

Retired "Hayao Miyazaki"

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

<Snipped quote by Retired>

You prefer Grammar Nationalist.


I mean, I prefer Grammar God, but...
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

<Snipped quote by Hillan>

I mean, I prefer Grammar God, but...


Where's my copypasta...
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Bounce
Raw
Avatar of Bounce

Bounce

Member Seen 1 day ago

I'm not a grammar Nazi, I swear...


Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
Raw
Avatar of Retired

Retired "Hayao Miyazaki"

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

<Snipped quote by Retired>

Where's my copypasta...


Hopefully on the copystove...

That one's for Byrd. Enjoy.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Techne
Raw
Avatar of Techne

Techne Ghost

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@Retired
Ooof then my posts might make you mad. Many a English teacher has grilled me on my grammar over the years.

The reading aloud is a good tip though! I actually usually will use the "Read Aloud" button in the review tab of Word when I'm proofreading. (I'm mildly dyslexic so reading for long periods kinda messes me up. So I make the robot read to me lmao.) Though I traditionally do it in like four paragraph chunks and then once at the end. Doing it after every paragraph like you suggested is probably a good idea though!
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
Raw
Avatar of Retired

Retired "Hayao Miyazaki"

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Retired
Ooof then my posts might make you mad. Many a English teacher has grilled me on my grammar over the years.

The reading aloud is a good tip though! I actually usually will use the "Read Aloud" button in the review tab of Word when I'm proofreading. (I'm mildly dyslexic so reading for long periods kinda messes me up. So I make the robot read to me lmao.) Though I traditionally do it in like four paragraph chunks and then once at the end. Doing it after every paragraph like you suggested is probably a good idea though!


Doing it all at once will help you catch any issues in flow. You'll more easily recognize unnatural breaks or where breaks are needed, awkward diction and odd syntax choices, etc. I can also recommend using Grammarly if you don't already. A free extension for Chrome is out there.

As it is, though, I don't see anything really major about your app. So I wouldn't be nervous. Looks good. Like I said, everything is just minor little things that additional proofreading methods can catch.

And as others can tell you, I've given this same spiel to many here. Myself included.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

@Lord Wraith
I ended up spending most of yesterday evening working on my application and because of that I was able to finish it a bit earlier than scheduled!

As mentioned earlier, this is my first time making a sheet like this... so to be honest I'm a little bit nervous! That being said if anyone after reading it has any constructive criticism about what I can do better before August - though I do suppose it will be hard to judge from one sample - I'd love to hear from you!




I don't believe this is your first time. That was a great read! Definitely looking forward to seeing what you bring to the table.

I will happily accept the sheet at the end of the waiting period. In case you missed it in the rules, due to some characters being more popular than others, we delay acceptances to give other players a chance to compete. If no claim of competition is made in the next twenty hours, you're in.

But uh, I wouldn't want to be competing with a sheet as well written as yours.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
Raw
Avatar of Retired

Retired "Hayao Miyazaki"

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

<Snipped quote by Techne>

I don't believe this is your first time.

[...]

But uh, I wouldn't want to be competing with a sheet as well written as yours.


Down, boy.
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

@webboysurf, Iron Man is accepted pending Captain America's retirement.

@The Bork Lazer, Updated Static sheet looks good to me!

@Pacifista, just give me a shout when you have that sample up for Hulk. Sheet is coming along really well!
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by IceHeart
Raw
Avatar of IceHeart

IceHeart

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@Lord WraithGot the support cast now too.



We'll see if I can continue on with what was started. I think the hardest part will be Lex Luthor rather than anything directly Supergirl related.
2x Like Like
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
Raw
Avatar of Retired

Retired "Hayao Miyazaki"

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

I honestly have to commend you for stepping up and attempting to take on a role with all previous baggage included.
Not sure if you've seen, but I would check out the accepted Vigilante app by Doc if you haven't already as it'll relate to some of what you're doing.

Also, no pants. Never pants.
EDIT: This is me lamenting over the lack of pants. Not celebrating lol.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

Also, no pants. Never pants.
EDIT: This is me lamenting over the lack of pants. Not celebrating lol.


Ain't no party like a no pants party.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online



With the waiting period up, X-23 is accepted! Please move the sheet over to the character tab at your earliest convenience. You can either wait for the official Season 2 kick off to post, or if you want to flesh out your character some, you can start at any time.

I just ask that all new characters avoid getting involved with the Crisis so as to not prolong it any further than necessary.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Pirouette
Raw
Avatar of Pirouette

Pirouette Stories Yet Untold

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

( Gimme a minute to convert this old thing )

Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Retired
Raw
Avatar of Retired

Retired "Hayao Miyazaki"

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Pirouette Hank Pym is already an established character IC. May want to check out Hound's Ted Kord app.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Pirouette
Raw
Avatar of Pirouette

Pirouette Stories Yet Untold

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

Ted was on a mission for knowledge, viewing it as the ends rather than the means until he met another scientist named Hank Pym at a symposium in New York. But Pym wasn’t the catalyst for change so much as a mirror to help see himself better through.


I'll investigate further since I effectively kill of Hank in Hope's story. It isn't a big deal though since I can just restate that he was injured or something. The effect of Ray being corrupted is kind of central more than Hank's death.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Techne
Raw
Avatar of Techne

Techne Ghost

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@Lord Wraith

Thank you very much for the kind words and the acceptance!

I'm probably going take a page from my fanfic roots and build something of a small backlog built up before I start posting anything. So like soon but not too soon? August just happens to be kinda a hectic month for me: first week is the annual family vacation, and the last week I start my last year of undergrad. So having some posts saved up for that initial rush will hopefully help me keep to a manageable once a week posting schedule. Or at least that is the current plan, who knows what will happen!
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet