Kathelia!

"Blah blah blah blah blah!" Eupheria rolls her swirling eyes, which have a wicked gleam to them. "Oh, I'm sure you know all about my pain, Kathhhhie. After all, family drama's totally comparable to being trapped alone in a dungeon dimension for who even knows how long, abandoned by everyone you thought cared about you, forgotten and left to rot!" She snickers, nastily, and all around you comes the echo of the spriggans, until it's like you're in a cage made out of mockery. Everyone's looking at you. You're so stupid, four-eyes.

"And why would I put everything back? That's like scraping paint off the canvas! No, we'll have plenty of remixes instead. You think this is the only spin we're going to do on the wheel? You think this is the only penalty you're going to endure? We have all the time in the world together!" She giggles and kicks her feet. "We're going to become best friends, one way or another, Kathhhhhie!"

What? She... no! No, she can't be planning that! It's impossible to say which is more terrifying: the thought that she might "reset" you whenever she wants to change you, or the thought that she might not. If you and your friends don't figure out a way to stop her, you're going to end up being her dolls for the rest of forever.

"Now, I think it's just about time for the games to start!" Where they not already? Euphie slips through one of the holes in the net, briefly becoming long and skinny and bendy, before bouncing back to her full height towering over you. She taps you on the shoulder with one hand, and when you glance over despite yourself, grabs your underwear and-- hey--!!

The spriggans gather around you, cackling, as you dangle from the wedgie emerging from your overalls. Even though they don't have eyes, it's impossible to shake the feeling that they're getting an eyeful of your Sparkle Unicorn Pegasus panties. (The Sparkle Unicorns have little hearts on their butts.) You swing helplessly from the impossibly stretchy fabric as Eupheria carries you off, laughing and telling you how much fun you're going to have exercising for once in your life!

***

Adila!

Yes, yes. You can feel the mental sigh running through your body. You're good at ball. Congratulations.

Bouyed by this approval, you bounce merrily out into a tent! There's grass underneath your claws (paws?) and lots of dainty little chairs surrounding dainty tables with dainty plates piled with the dantiest little sandwiches, with dainty teacups by them. It's perfectly sized for... maybe Alina? She'd be perfectly at home here, sipping tea with her pinky extended. You, on the other hand, manage to knock over a table, and then back into another table, causing Eska to scoff at you.

...Eska!!!

She looks very pale, almost shiny, and her fingers are segmented. She's smiling a lot! She must be soooooo happy to see you. And dangling from a hook on one of the central poles hanging up the tent is Kazelia, pouting with her arms crossed as... oof, that can't be comfortable. How did Eupheria even get them out through her overalls??

It looks like King Isolde is here, too, though at first glance you almost think she's Eupheria. It's only the eyes and the lack of the Caduceus that still give her away. She looks miserable, sitting alone at her own table, staring off at nothing. You know what she needs? She needs a puppy's head in her lap and comforting whufs.

No. Go talk to Eska.

Isolde needs puppy!

Talk. To. Eska.

...needs puppy!!!

***

Mittens!

At first you think you're hallucinating the bells. They segue so nicely into daydreaming about being pampered by dancing-girls, who stroke your cheeks and scritch your ears and wiggle so enticingly on your lap. Yessss. You're one of the Queens who conquered Jedad, and you're being entertained by your new subjects, and they leave lipstick marks all over your fur... yes, yes, yes! You can hear the silken whisper of the veils, the huff of their breath as they dance, and you squirm on the ground like it's really one of your harem girls you're pressing yourself up against. Mittens is loved! Mittens loves she dancers!!

Then comes the snip, snip, snip of shears, cutting through the webs, and you whine into the snakerchief as you're pulled out of your so comfortable cocoon.

"Oh... my... whiskers," comes the most breathy, alluring voice you've ever heard in your life. You turn around and see... oh, it is a dancer! A dancer with a soft, wispy veil, and a coin-lined sash, and black curly hair spilling down her shoulders, with her little kitten ears poking out from the enticing mane. She presses her body up against you, and hugs you so tightly, almost as tightly as your nice snug cocoon. "Alina, darling, I was so worried, you-- eeeep!!" She giggles as you squeeze she soooooo badonkadonk butt and rub your face up against her, marking your territory with wubs, your silly tail wagging from side to side. Behind her, you vaguely notice, is a knot of wriggling, writhing snakes trying to get themselves untied.

She lifts her veil and leans in to kiss you silly, and you tug her back down into the ruins of the cocoon, tangling your paws in her hair and rubbing at her ears while purring so loud, it fills the whole room, or at least your twitching, delighted ears.

Kathelia thought she would actually die. She wasn't sure she had ever blushed this hard, not in all the terrible jokes and tricks that all her siblings had played. It wasn't fair! The spriggans were laughing and Eupheria was laughing, and it felt like she hadn't reached the princess at all. Besides, how was it funny that she had color coordinated her undies and her overalls, anyway?! She'd have matching heart pins for her hair too if she restyled it anyway. Hearts were cool, glitter was cool, the spriggans obviously had no taste! And neither did Eupheria. She was so...so far gone. It made Kathelia's heart hurt. Eupheria really couldn't hear her, or wouldn't show it at least. And Kathelia was convinced that their pain was comparable. They had shared it through the ages and loneliness was...well, it was lonely and the only way to get through that was to find the connections between people. Little tears formed at the edge of Kazelia's eyes, and got caught on the rims of her thick, dark-rimmed glasses before beading into little droplets that fell off. With all the blushing, Eupheria probably just thought Kazelia was crying from the shame and discomfort. Just as well for now.

Princess Adila turned in a distressed circle. Isolde needs attention, and Eska needs attention, and Kazelia is there too and she needs attention too and and and and her heart was breaking for all of them and there was a whine starting to build inside her and -

It was honestly kind of startling for everyone involved, including her, when she reached out and snapped the tent pole like a twig. She lowered Kazelia down and slung her across her back. Then she was over to Isolde, picking her up as well. This was an emergency, after all! She hadn't stopped accelerating at all in this process and when she came across to Eska she was moving with non-negotiable speed. Before anyone had a chance to object they were all crushed together in a ball, wrapped around on all sides by a surprisingly stretchy and flexible and extremely soft and fluffy ball of fur. Everyone was here. Everyone was together. She was going to hold them all and keep them safe until they all knew how much they were loved.

(The relationship between snapping the central tent pole and the tent collapsing was not clearly articulated in her mind just yet)

Yes! Yes!! YES! Mittens love she pretty dancer! Am hold! Am touch! Am wub, am scritch, am kiss kiss kiss kiss! Smell am so nice and jingle am so nice and taste am so nice and oh! Oh! OH!!!

"You are mine." she purrs and kisses Rita full on the lips. Deep, drowning in her, coming up only to give those pretty lips silly little licks before she dives back in again and puts her tongue to better uses.

You are mine. Her tongue dances with Rita's. You are mine. She kisses her cheek. You are mine. She nibbles an ear possessively. Mine. Kisses the neck. Mine! She uses her sharp little teeth. Mine, mine, mine! She leaves her little nibble marks all over. Her body slides down against her slave's. Up! And down again! It feels so good to glide and touch and feel her pretty suit dominate the silks! It feels so good to kiss her! It feels so good to put her paws in that rich, thick mane, to play with those ears, to feel hers get touched too, her eyes go all crossy and mew, mew, mew!!

...Did you know? The commonly accepted best cure for web viper venom is an extended makeout session. With an outlet to release all of the patient's amplified passions, the venom's hold on them will ebb much sooner than if left to their dream-hazed cocoons to let it run its course. Mittens, it so happens, received a rather larger dose than typical. So it takes her a while to come down from her staggering highs, but when she doooeees~

"R-Rita?! Rita is that you?" Mittens squeaks. Goodness, why is she so out of breath?

"Mmmmm?" Rita lazily blinks up at her, hair all a mess and lipstick smeared everywhere, "It's... yes! Yes, yes, oh Lina, you're ok!"

The name sends a jolt through her spine all the way to the tip of her little kitty tail. What is? Who's..? Isn't that... her? But she's... Mittens puts a paw to her-- no, no! She wiggles her fingers in front of her face. That's her hand! Her hand, for stormclouds' sakes! She's a princess! The Princess-Promised of Illumina! And that's Rita, who she's known since they both were kittens and she loves more than anyone in the world! And she... oh no. Oh, rivers.

"Oh Rita!" she squeaks. If she blushes any harder she might burst into flames, "I'm so sorry! I... I said all those things and--"

"N-no!" This is very bad, they're in a squeak-off. And a princess squeak-off can be a very long affair indeed, "I, um... I mean, darling, I..."

"I bit you!"

"I liked that..."

"And I made you--!"

"You made me..."

On and on and around it goes, unravelling the moment where Queen Mittens gave her slave girl such "inspired" orders, the moment where their tails got tangled together, the one where there was nothing but ear wubs and the very loudest purring every recorded and neither of them could see straight. The bit where... well, you get it. They're in love. And Mittens forgot that she had impaw... ergh! Important things to do! She blushes again and rolls to her feet with the kind of grace that only Alina Cascade could pull off. Whoever that is.

This is the first moment Rita can really behold her Mittens in the full glory of this (slightly dishevelled) suit. She's standing there, with her careless lavender curls tossed all about and a smile on her face that says the sun will rise again, and she will reach up and pluck it from the sky to be a treasure for her Askaian Flower, and those pants and her hips and that vest and... and... how could she be swooning? She's already lying down!!

Mittens laughs with a rogue's bravado and plucks her lovely princess up out of their little nest. Her arm wraps around that cute little waist just so, gives that round and perfect butt a squeeze, and flashes the most dazzling smile at Rita to match the most adorable squeak she gets for her reward. Pull her close, so close!

"We're late, you know. I don't know how much longer this maze goes on, but..."

"But we can handle it."

"Together."
"Together."

They kiss, properly this time, careful to savor the sensation of lips on lips and the smell of each other's hair and the softness of their fur. This is love. Unbreakable. Eternal. Don't you even try, Eupheria. Behind them, the web vipers finally break free from their tangled pile, but Mittens doesn't so much as spare them a glance as she lifts her hand to the sky and zips her happy Indigo beam back up to the stairwell, pulling the happy couple up with a zip and a thrill neither of them have felt since they were children robbing jewels from a Sphinx.

Mittens takes a moment to make sure Rita's outfit is on straight once they reach the stairs. Rita returns the favor. Neither of them is quite as thorough as they could be. But together, they race up the steps into whatever awaits them. Together.

Adila!

Miraculously, the tent stays upright. It’s more of an art piece in the shape of a tent, if you really think about it.

“Get off me!” Eska’s pushing a lot. Why isn’t she more happy? Clearly, you need to lick her shiny cheeks more. “Uuuuugh!!”

Eupheria-Isolde is giving you lazy scritches and smiling a little, and Kazelia is managing to get her underwear situation back under control, when who should walk in the door except cats? Two cats!!

***

Mittens!

The trap door opens up into a gorgeous lavender tent, filled with the most perfect tea party imaginable, and nobody here to share it with! Nobody except for the hug pile in the middle of the room, surrounded by knocked-over tables and poles and sandwiches tragically knocked into the grass.

A big black dragon-puppy lifts her head and gives you a look. A look that promises face licks and excited woofing that will make your tail stand on end. Dogs! Why’d it have to be dogs?!

Thankfully, before you can be hug-tackled by Adila, Azora Howl huffs her way into the tent.

“There you all are,” she drawls, rolling her eyes. “Oh my frosts, I can’t believe you all failed so much and so badly! Getting that dumb scepter or whatever is going to be suuuuuch a cakewalk, yeah?” She tosses her platinum hair over her shoulder and immediately takes a plate of sandwiches. And then she stops.

“OMF,” she says, her mouth full, “these are, like, so amaze! You have to try them!!”

“Give it a rest,” Dandy says, stomping her way inside on her hooves. “Ah reckon you ain’t nothin’ but a lowdown varmit anyhow, city-slicker.” Her hair’s bushing out, her legs are golden-brown horse’s legs, and she has an obscene amount of freckles. When she sees Adila, she frowns, but can’t resist offering scritches.

(You’re not jealous. You’re not jealous. Dandy’s scritchies are probably stinky and lame anyhow.)

***

Kathelia!

That does appear to be all of the princesses roped into the game show! Excellent, all the variables are in one place, and you can finally work together.

It appears, to your keen analytical eye, that everyone has had their curse advance at least three times, and further exposure to the Labyrinth will certainly cause the curses to fully blossom, to remain until Eupheria gets bored of them. At full curse, many of you may no longer be able to continue play properly— how will Alina, for example, manage to overcome danger as a cat? How will Isolde be able to navigate the Labyrinth when she believes she is Eupheria? And will you still be able to fight once you’re a scrawny, pathetic little nerd?

You need to work together if you want to have any hopes of survival.

“Seriously, this is soooo good, I need Daddy to hire these caterers,” Azora trills, stuffing her cheeks. And, just like that, your stomach rumbles. This would be a fantastic time for a snack, don’t you think?

If this were really a game like Eupheria insisted it was, Mittens might be happy to see that nobody here was really managing any better than she was. It'd be pretty reasonable, you know? This is humiliating enough without having to look around the room and realize she's the farthest gone of anyone. But... like this? Looking around, thinking about how she feels, how she looks? Deciding that she might actually be holding up the best of anyone?

It feels awful. It's not even a comfort to see Eska or Azora as changed as they are. They're still Kazelia's sisters, after all. Whatever jerks they might be, they deserve better than to have their chance at grow-- erm, their chance at being better people taken away from them so they can amuse Eupheria for a little while. She has to fix this. It's all on Mittens' pretty kitty shoulders. She can't see how it's not. Not with Kazelia looking so... crippled. Not with Adila being, oh whiskers, why is she so? Eurgh. Dog. Not with...

Her breath catches. No!

Mittens doesn't really walk so much as sashay anymore. It's not her fault! Her paws feet demand prancing! Her hips demand swaying! Her tail demands swishing! Her suit demands flaunting! Please, oh please don't take this as a sign she's trying to flaunt herself right now! Don't think she's enjoying this! It's awful! It's... it's...

Deep breaths, Mittens. She reaches the tables. She stares at Azora and watches her greedily stuff her cheeks with that haughty look still somehow stuck on her stupid jerk face. She rolls her crystal eyes, the only part of her that feels completely herself anymore. She grabs two plates of sandwiches and keeps walking. Forward, forward. Ok careful now, careful. Do not get dogged. Do not. Get! She sets the first tray down on the ground. Then she reaches out her hand, carefully.... caaaaarefully... she stretches her hand as far out away from her as she can while at the same time pivoting to her side and tentatively pulling her leg up like she's about to hop away onto a table or something. And like this, reaching out and shrinking back in equal measure, she manages to give Adila the slightest of pats on the nose.

Oh Adila. She's so sorry for yelling. She's so sorry for everything. You have to understand, please. A-and don't lick her! Don't! D-down, girl! Rivers.

She carefully sidesteps closer to the hug pile. She holds out the tray of sandwiches to share with everyone with hands. She watches the woman who is very definitely not Eupheria, and she gulps.

"...Momma?" it's more of a question than she means for it to be.

"Momma!" she tries again. More insistent. Confident. Does she catch a spark of recognition.

Mittens smiles, showing off her pointy kitten teeth. Her tail flicks carelessly this way and that, and her wi-- little lavender triangles twitch on her head, begging for attention. She picks up a sandwich and forces it into Isolde's hand.

"Please, you have to eat. We're going to make it out of this, ok? We're going home, Momma. You and me. To see Mom and Free, and Jess, and we're all going to have the biggest hug and the best dinner ever. As many fish as-- you know what I mean. I promise. I... I promise. So, so, so promise me too, ok? Even if... even if you forget, I'll remember. I'll remember for both of us. Ok?"

She takes a bite of her sandwich, hoping to encourage Isolde to do it to. Her nose scrunches up. Asparagus soup?!?

[Mittens will Fill Her Belly and heal Sense. Unmarking her Wall spell]

Kathelia finishes tucking her pretty pegasus underwear back into its proper location and pulls up the straps on her overalls. It occurs to her that she and Dandy could match, except for the horse thing. But! That is unimportant right now. What is important is that Eupheria has made the classic villain blunder of allowing the suffering protagonists to get together and plan just so she can delight in their communal misery. Well, Kathelia won't have it.

"Everyone!" She says. Stops because Alina is saying something to King Isolde and that's important and oh void are they all staring at her now? She blushes fiercely and tries to cover it up by pushing her glasses up on her nose. "Um, everyone! I want to thspeak to you!" Oh god, the lisp, it's too late, no backing down now Kathelia, even if you look like some kind of blushing eggplant up here and Azora is probably using some kind of magic spell to capture this moment for all eternity. "We need to work together to get through the mathze. I know we have our differentheth" Pointed glance at Azora and Eska, "but Eupheria is trying to separate all of uth and make uth into her playthingth. I think, the way her contetht is sthet up, the winner really doeth get a wish. That meanth we all have to sthtick together so we can keep each other focuthed and moving through the labyrinth until we beat it."

There, see, she's an awesome leader and public speaker. Kathelia reaches over and scratches the ear of the nearby fluffy Adiladog for reassurance without really thinking about it. Then thinks about it and keeps going, since she can see it's making Alina nervous and it will be better for everyone is Adila is enjoying scratchies and not leaping onto the table at the cats.

See, totally got everything covered. Kathelia is the smartest.

There are pats. Pats from multiple directions. It's enough to drown in. There's this kind of unique relaxation that one gets when being patted - a kind of total full-body relaxation, not borne of tiredness but of enjoying the moment so utterly that the mind deliberately shuts down even the slightest twitch of the body in case it interferes with the pats. Pats were serious business relaxation. In fact the only struggle she was faced with was the faint ache in her heart at the idea that the people being so nice as to provide pats weren't getting pats of their own. She haphazardly paw-batted and licked at the people and faces around her to communicate her desire to reciprocate but was far too easily suppressed back into a state of quiescence.

And in the relaxation she could start to find some focus again. She had achieved the Meaning of Life, as defined by dogs, so she could find herself with just enough mindset to focus on things around her once more. She finally, gradually starts to release her collected hug-ees from their fluffy prison. She could feel the crackle of higher consciousness start to build in her head again and she started looking around a bit more sharply, a bit more clearly. She even reached out to bite one of the sandwiches -

- and stopped. Because taking food without being offered it was Bad. So instead she gently picked up the tray in her mouth and brought it around to offer to Princess Dandy, eyes full of apology.

Mittens!

Your Momma reaches around your shoulders and pulls you in with one skinny arm. Euphie is really gangly, after all. “I know, dear,” she says, like a somber and serious Euphie. “If there’s anyone who can stop her and what she plans to do to our world... it’s you. No,” she corrects herself. “It’s us.”

She takes a bite of her sandwich, and you can tell plain as day that she’s busy being strong for you, and if you’re strong for her right back, the two of you should be able to tackle whatever Eupheria plans to throw at you. Momma chews contemplatively, and then raises her eyebrows.

“Cinnamon and pepperoni?” Her voice is an incredulous squeak begging for a laugh track, and one imagines it’s hard not to giggle, Mittens.

...by the time you’re finished with your sandwiches, will you let her give you comforting ear rubs?

***

Kathelia!

“But then who gets the wish, loser?” Azora gets aaaaall up in your face, looking soooo smug. She has ringlet curls. Ringlet curls! “You’re just trying to out-think us cuz you can’t out-play us. You want to climb to victory on a ladder made out of us!” She shoves you and knocks you down onto the grass. “Get lost, buckteeth. I’m winning this for Daddy!”

Eska, meanwhile, gives you a cool glare. It’s hard to tell what she’s thinking. Her frozen smile is starting to get really unsettling.

“I’m still with you,” Rita says, offering you a bangled hand. And... gosh, she’s a Jedadi dancing-girl, all low-cut top and veils, and here you are, just a simple nerd, not sure where at all to put your eyes.

Where do you end up staring as you turn beet red?

***

Adila!

Dandy takes the sandwiches, and takes a great big bite, bigger than you’ve usually seen from her. “Sakes alive,” she says, with her mouth full, “Ah’m more starved than a rattler up a tree, Ah tell you what...”

She flops down into a chair, lifting her hooves. “Looks like you’ve had a heck of a time, huh, puppy? Awww, come put your head here, Ah’m not mad at you, Ah just... Ah just need more time to give it some thinks up in my brain-pan, hun.”

She scritches you in the best place right behind your ear and your tail goes thump thump thump, dragging a chair along with it.

"Don't worry, Kazelia!"

Mittens flashes a dazzling and hopefully reassuring smile from her dog-free safe space inside her mother's embrace. It's easy to feel confident with her around, right? She's not making you feel self conscious about your fashion choices just by existing, right? She's in your corner, just like Rita is!

"We're a team. We can't get so caught up in hoping to make a wish that we forget that. That's why, if we get the chance, I think you should be the one to win for the rest of us. After what you did in Illumina, I trust your wish to be what saves everybody more than anyone's. Even if you decide to pass it back to one of the rest of us, I'll trust in you to the end."

So yeah, there's a lot of telltale signs of classic Mittens "being strong for everybody else in the room" right now. But that strength doesn't come from thin air, you know? It comes from you, Kazelia. It comes from you, Adila. It comes from Isolde, and from Dandy, and of course it comes from Rita. So trust it. If you ever thought that she was a cat worth looking up to, then trust the strength she's using for you right now.

Mitten's leans her head against Isolde's shoulder, and subconsciously starts nuzzling her Momma. There's a thing that Rita's always told her, since way back when they were little kittens: nobody gives better ear rubs than a mom. Her eyes drift shut for a tender moment, and she realizes for the first time how true that really is. This warmth? This love? This soft little massage across her sensitive little floofers?

This purr is the sound of Argossa itself.

[Kazelia, Mittens is choosing to Reveal the Way to you: roll with Hope the next time you do something that follows her advice, or the next time you do something that spites her if you think she's a spotlight stealing, tuna-breath having... silly cat!]

Adila!

Dandy takes the sandwiches, and takes a great big bite, bigger than you’ve usually seen from her. “Sakes alive,” she says, with her mouth full, “Ah’m more starved than a rattler up a tree, Ah tell you what...”

She flops down into a chair, lifting her hooves. “Looks like you’ve had a heck of a time, huh, puppy? Awww, come put your head here, Ah’m not mad at you, Ah just... Ah just need more time to give it some thinks up in my brain-pan, hun.”

She scritches you in the best place right behind your ear and your tail goes thump thump thump, dragging a chair along with it.

+That's not...+ Adila's thought slowly started to drift in, coming into focus like a radio tuning. +That's not what I wanted to say. It's not about me. I wanted you to know that...+

A shiver ran through her as she pushed through the impenetrable wall of comforting physicality. She sat up straight, eyes sharp and clear again, in a posture that wasn't at all canine.

Then she reached out and took the absurd straw hat off Dandy's head - and crumpled it in her claws.

+I wanted you to know that this isn't how I see you,+ she said. +Eupheria's curses are cruel. I don't know if it's playing on your insecurities in the same way it's playing on mine, and I think it's playing on others. But the Princess Dandy I see isn't a joke or a rube or in any way simple. The Princess Dandy I see is the wisest, most intelligent, most dangerous princess in Hyperborea. Of every princess I know you're not just the one I respect the most, you're also the only one I fear. If you wanted to turn the world on it's side you wouldn't need the Caduceus to do it.+

[Healing Sense]

Kathelia falls on her butt on the grass and stares at Azora with accusatory eyes. She looks like she's split between wanting to cry and getting mad. But then there's Rita helping her up. Alina's telling her that the others are with her too, and now she wants to cry again, but it's because she's happy instead of angry. On top of all that, Rita is oh so close to her, a-and she's swaying a-and she's wearing some very pretty s-silks. Goodness, Kathelia's glasses seem to be steaming up, and she takes them off to polish them and finds herself staring right at Rita's silky thighs as the cat girl offers her a hand to stand up and um...goodness oh goodness. She's v-very grateful, yes, that's why she's babbling right now as she stands up. Grateful and upset at mean-meanie Azora. And that is it, definitely.

Kathelia!

“TWO! FOUR! SIX! EIGHT! WHO’S THE QUEEN THAT WE ALL HATE?! LET’S! BEAT! EUPHERIA!!!”

Princess Kyouko explodes into the tent, shaking her pom-poms, right as you put your glasses back on. This is unexpected for a lot of reasons. For one, you’d probably hoped that Kyouko would have avoided getting caught. Now you know that even if your allies are in the labyrinth, Eupheria’s happy to toss curses on them as well.

Also unexpected is the fact that Kyouko is wearing a magenta-and-sequins Labyrinth High top, a pleated miniskirt that keeps lifting up and flashing her panties every time she jumps, which she is doing a lot, and thigh-highs. And... okay, some princesses can rock pigtails, but sadly Kyouko really isn’t one of them. But that’s okay, because if she did look super cute in pigtails, you would probably expire on the spot.

“IT’S ABOUT TIME TO SEE US MEET; WORK TOGETHER, WE CAN’T BE BEAT! GOOOOOO TEAM PRINCESS!!”

And from behind her, Eupheria politely claps.

***

Adila!

“Well, well, well,” Eupheria says, sweeping in grandly. She’s turned Caddy into an umbrella, and has a tiny hat cocked on her magenta hair, and is generally dressed for a very posh day out at the athletic meet, cheering from the sidelines like a proper queen. Her corset is impossibly tight and her skirts don’t so much billow out as annex territory. Her hands fan her, hold her teacup, fan out a copy of Princess Sports Monthly, and make condescending little gestures.

“Eight little princesses! Isn’t that... so frustrating!” She sounds playful! You would know if she really was mad. She’s playing another game. “Today we’re doing triples, darlings, not a simple good princess against bad princess. Which means we need another competitor! Luckily, I’ve been giving it a careful think, and there’s someone here who thinks she can get away with not playing.”

There are a bunch of hands grabbing at you again, and you can’t move, as the umbrella-Caddy gleams. It’s a bad memory, and for a moment you’re back in Feloria and Oberon is forcing your jaw open, but this time Dandy’s standing right next to you, her eyes wide with horror. Then Euphie shoves her arm into your ear instead of your mouth and gwubarble—

***

Mittens!

You’re all frozen. It feels like you should be able to move, but you’re all helpless to do anything but watch. Your heart screams: stand up! Stop her! But it’s as if someone snipped the thread between your heart and your body, and you have to watch as Adila’s eyes spin and bounce around like the googly eyes of the glass dragon.

“Ahahaha, here we are,” Eupheria says, and yanks. What she drags out, for a moment, looks like a glyph made of intricate words, much like an Axonian dream-catcher. Then she smacks two hands on it hard, clap, and that frees everyone to move. Pandemonium breaks out in the tent as Adila howls, a heartbreaking sound, and everyone half-bolts forward—

And Euphie wrings Adila I out of her hands, dangling the starry-eyed young woman above the grass.

“Hey there, Addie!”

Adila I rallies as quickly as you’d expect. “You are aware I’m just an echo of the original, correct?” Maybe you should start calling her Echo Adila so there’s no confusion. Or Solid Adila, because oof, those muscles. “Enacting vengeance on me would be as pointless as torturing one of your art pieces.”

“You’re close enough for me, honeybuns~!” Eupheria tosses Solid Adila on top of Adila (Fuzzy Adila?) and summons up the Curse Generator with a wave of Caddy.

Momma clings tight to both you and Adila, and you’re not sure if it’s in support or desperation. Azora is sarcastically clapping. And Eupheria stands there, so dumb, so smug, maybe having just hurt your friend, and how dare she? How dare she?

Dandy actually takes a swing at her, and without even looking at her Euphie snaps her fingers and the farm princess socks Adila Prime right in her fuzzy jaw instead, having instantly turned around like she was her own reflection in a mirror. She gasps in horror and clutches the dragon-dog’s head tight to her chest. “Oh, oh, shucks and tarnation, Ah, Ah didn’t mean that, oh hayseeds...”

Kathelia's mind vaguely registered that Eupheria had just done a creepy magical thing. She had even looked at the operations manual at one point, trying back in Jedad to understand Adila better and so she felt the vaguest sense of connection to what was happening. That piece of Kathelia's mind thought that she ought to do something about this, maybe talk at Eupheria a bunch and explain why she should leave Adila alone, and also try and explain the metaphysics of what had just happened because it was seriously fascinating.

HOWEVER! That tiny part of Kazelia's mind was currently being drowned out by the extremely loud thudding of her heart and the blood thundering in her ears. There are pom-p-pom-poms right in her face! Very loud! Fox pompoms! And...and even if the pigtails aren't flattering...exactly, Kyouko and Kathelia are matching! Matching! Oh goodness, oh dear, Kathelia just cleaned her classes and they appear to be steaming up again. Oh no, oh, oh, this is really quite...goodness is she jumping again?! Oh goodness, and her skirt is v-very s-short. Kathelia is quite certain that is a shorter than regulation cheerleader skirt, which she would have to be sure to tell Kyouko except that, oh no...oh no she has matching magenta panties which is extremely unfair.

Kathelia appears to start falling backwards, those pom-poms must really be making her uncomfortable, yes that's got to be it, but she'll need someone who isn't distracted to catch her, otherwise she'll roll herself into a very gangly fall and probably lose her glasses in the process, and that will make everyone have to stop what they're doing while she searches for them.

This is the second time she's had to watch this happen. The second time she's seen unnatural, twisting arms grabbing at Adila. The second time she's listened to her making those sounds mixed somewhere between pure pain and absolute terror. The second time her heart screamed at her in its loudest voice to do something to stop it, and the second time her body wouldn't listen at all.

It's actually worse than it was with Oberon. At least back then her mind had been sunk inside the crystal song, and her body had less failed to move as it understood it wasn't really supposed to move in the first place. This time she has a body that's made to move and it just... won't. She strains. She tries to scream. Nothing. Her soft, vibrant, graceful body refuses to budge an inch, not even to strain her muscles and at least register the effort she's putting into trying to help. Even her expression is stuck in that same contented kitty bliss she'd been purring into the room from Momma's ear rubs. She can only use her eyes to express her horror.

Then the world lurches back into motion all at once, and if Momma hadn't been clinging to her for dear life, Mittens would have shot off like a bullet. Even then, if she hadn't also been holding Adila she might have abandoned her Momma to cross the space between her and her friend so quickly you'd think she had touched the Time Dragon. But they're held together, so Mittens' motion is more restrained. Her tail flicks aggressively. Her ears pop up straight and strain for sounds. She winces when Dandy gets spun around and winds up socking Adila in the face. And then her eyes pulse that gentle green light for a moment before they dim again.

It's only for a moment Adila, but in the space of that tiny flash you feel like someone just gave you the perfect bath. There's a brief sensation like someone's gone over your body with a gentle hose full of the sweetest, warmest water imaginable, and then when that's gone it's like being patted dry with a fluffy towel that feels like nothing so much as pats and hugs and love. I can't say if it's enough to undo the horror of what you just went through, but heal your Courage anyway.

Mittens blinks and looks away. She squeezes her Momma to reassure both of them while her eyes find and then stick to Eupheria. She'd like to be looking at something else, someone else, anything else, why don't we go feel weirdly jealous of Azora's hair or join Kazelia in staring at Kyouko's skirt, or better yet watch Rita and feel for a moment that sense that everything will be perfect in just another second? Let's do that, hm? But Eupheria is like a magic eye puzzle: once she's been seen, she won't be unseen. Her eyes try to wander, only to slide right back onto those swirling eyes, that magenta hair, those sickly lights, that absurd corset.

She feels like she should say something. She wants to say something. Something powerful and defiant! Or something to cut through all of the hurt and belittlement that's choking the air everybody (Eupheria included!) is breathing right now. But instead she blinks and notices the first Adila. Really notices her for the first time.

And all her stupid brain thinks is: Oh. My great-grandmother and I have the same taste in women. Ourania explain to her why that seems helpful to notice.

[This is a new scene, so Mittens is damaging her lights to heal Adila]

There is a lot to process there, and fortunately, blessedly, for Princess Adila she doesn't need to. Shocked, stunned silence melts away 'midst the emerald glow letting her clearly perceive what actually just happened from a safe distance. She's not trapped in a moment of fear and pain and confusion - she was the witness to an act of thoughtless cruelty. She lets out a steady breath as her own Silver swells back to life around her, razor clarity in her eyes. Eupheria needs to be stopped.

She flexes her wings and tears through the ropes binding them like they're string. She extends them to their full extent, in that moment as proud and noble as she ever was, shining clearly through the curse. She looks around at her friends, the Princesses around her - Dandy, struck through the heart, Mitt - Alina, compassionate for those around her, Kazelia, on the brink of fainting. She wants to embrace each one and let them feel how much she cares for them. But to save them she needs to make a different sort of embrace.

Silver builds.

She lunges.

She wraps her wings around Eupheria - Eupheria and the Curse Generator both.

And in a lightning flash Silver condenses to a singularity-point, wrapping Eupheria and the Curse Generator in a single tightly held ball, right as power builds within it. There's a warping detonation that shakes all of reality and Princess Eupheria finally gets a taste of her own medicine.

[Using I Am Your Shield to reflect Eupheria's curse from Adila I upon herself: 9. Damaging my light as the price.]

Solid Adila!

Good soldier. Your successor interposes herself in order to keep you in optimal condition. You avert your not-eyes in order to avoid being blinded by the silver flash that leaves everyone else staggering about blindly— except for Kazelia Swiftlance, who’s groping around in the grass, looking for her missing spectacles.

This is a perfect opportunity to observe Eupheria’s reaction to an unexpected and attention-seizing assault, in order to optimize the Iluminan’s later theft of the Caduceus. You stand and wait a moment, in easy parade stance, as everyone else flounders. Typical princesses.

Eupheria screeches like a devil that’s just caught you cheating at shogi, and there’s a blast of silver light that rocks you back on your heels. You lean out of the way as the other Adila is sent flying, ripping the tent off the ground when she collides into the ceiling and shattering it into shards of quivering light, revealing...

Ah. Of course. An Olympic arena. Euphie always was an enthusiastic spectator of the asinine, convoluted “Noble Games.” Perhaps she had her toys play for her while... under incarceration. Yes. That‘s consistent with what you knew about her.

The hedges are impeccable, and so is the figure of the Grail on the left flank. The statuary is in Euphie’s stained glass style, and doubtless the supply plazas would be of a similar design. Now—

“Bad dog!”

Eupheria’s curse has materialized in the form of a makeover. Her previous outfit has been overwritten in favor of, presumably, what she intended for you. It is a bridal gown in the daring Imperial Konkon style: a snug bodysuit of white silk decorated with both lacy frills designed to emulate the flowers of the Archipelago and a white leather body harness and cuffs, trailing from which are a multitude of chains, each one with a lockable carabiner on the end for connection or restraint. A long half-skirt flows in a train behind her, but remains open in the front to show off her spindly legs. A white veil lies over her hair, muting its garish colors, and her lips are asymmetrically painted, with a full lower lip meeting an upper lip only painted in the center. Psychologically revealing: it’s possible she still harbors a childish infatuation for you, or that she wants to make you feel as if you have no control over your circumstances, hoping to put you off balance.

Naturally, she still holds the Caduceus tightly.

“Kyouko,” Eupheria says through furiously gritted teeth, herself thrown off balance by Adila’s daring, “announce the teams.”

“ASSUME! YOUR POSITIONS! LET’S! GO AND WIN SOME!” The Konkon heir shakes her pom-poms, kicking up with impressive flexibility. Eupheria did a good job of neutralizing the fox’s natural strengths of stealth and misdirection; she’s likely useless except as a distraction now. “PUPPY, DOLL AND SLAVE! GIVE IT UP FOR TEAAAAAAAM LEASH!”

Your successor, Eska, and the Askaian girl. Hopefully, she would be able to communicate more than “good at ball,” given her recent clarity. You would have to remind her of her duty, most likely, but—

“EUPHIE GETS HER BRAT A NEW HORSE! GIVE IT UP FOR TEAAAAAAAAM PRANCE!”

The Iluminan ex-king, the Felorian, and Kazelia Swiftlance. A solid block, one that would depend on Kazelia being able to take the reins, ha, and—

“AND THREE SPOILED BRATS! LET’S HEAR IT FOR TEAAAAAAAAAM SPANKIES!”

There is a chorus of boos from the vast stands encircling the arena. You have the attention of the Nightmare Army, which will likely serve to hamper escape attempts. More pressingly, you have the chance now to take the Cascade under your wing at a vital moment, provided you can sideline the Rider Princess.

You can work with this. Yes.

Eupheria flounces away, the ground rolling up to meet her feet as she marches up towards the Royal Box, her train dragging through the grass behind her, and you march over to take possession of the Cascade as the traditional pre-match Team Strategy hourglass turns and begins the steady trickle of sand down into the lower chamber.

[Please explain some of the rules of the Princess Olympics at this time, before the match properly begins.]

Kathelia didn't much care for the naming scheme, but she did think she had lucked out. First off, she wasn't with any of her evil sisters who might consider sabotaging her just for the laughs. On top of that it seemed like this second Eupheria was actually pretty competent if she could get her mind in the game, and Dandy was full of tricks, even if she was kind of a horse right now. It would be good if they won, that would give them a head start into the rest of the maze. Despite Eupheria's arbitrary spacing, they still had to be moving towards the center, Eupheria wouldn't find it fun if they weren't advancing, and what she found fun was the important thing.

So, let's talk about Princess Battle Chess! You start with a giant chessboard of animated, person-sized pieces set in a vast garden (note that the typical king and queen of traditional chess are replaced by a Queen you capture to win and a Princess who moves like the queen of a traditional chess set). The board, unlike a typical flat chessboard, had some obstacles, including typically some hedges that blocked line of sight for certain pieces. The player, or players, could take a bird's eye view of the board at the start, but once you selected a piece to move, you took its place, and if it encountered an opposing piece, the other side had the choice of taking its place too. Pieces had to be quite literally captured, and any encounter could turn into a princess duel, pitting the individual skill and cunning of the sides against each other.

The strategy was important too though: a princess only got her full powers if she was substituting in for the Princess piece. Any other piece placed limitations. For example, if you were replacing a pawn, you would receive only a simple fighting weapon and none of your other magic or abilities would work. Knights could have tricks applied to them, while bishops generally allowed the princess to select one magic item or ongoing effect and Rooks permitted two. The Queen allowed for all short range magic, but nothing long-range. It was possible to substitute something cunning, like a rook gambit with a one use only powerful trap, but if it didn't work you'd be slightly weaker for the rest of the match. Victory in a duel would either capture the piece or literally capture the defending princess if they subbed in for it. If you lost a duel on offense, you passed your turn, which could cause a dangerous turnaround. Princesses could also be freed as part of promoting a pawn that crossed the board.

As there were typically fewer princesses than pieces, one had to select carefully when to replace a piece for a defensive duel: if your side ran out of active, uncaptured princesses, you would lose even if you had a winning board.

The game as a whole was a cunning combination of intellect and maneuvering along with individual skill and trickery.

Kathelia straightened her glasses, which gleamed in anticipation. She was completely ready for this!

Mittens winces when her team is announced. Three spoiled brats? That stings almost as much as the lineup itself. She pans around the room, trying to project calm but mostly (she's pretty sure) just looking like she's pouting. But could you blame her? If you handed her a list of names from all across Hyperborea and told her to make the worst possible Princess Games team for herself, she's not sure she could really do any worse than this. Honestly! Let her do this 1v3v3! You could even put her on a team with Eupheria! These would both be better than... this. Whiskers. Rivers. Whatever!

On the plus side, it seemed like Eupheria was a fan of Heist!, which was Mittens' favorite Princess Game as well. Or, well, no. Her favorite was Gymnastic Jousting, but that was a solo game and Mittens didn't see any jousting platforms or pools for them to be hiding in anyway. That left Hesit!, which was still pretty ok as far as silver linings went.

The idea of the game was simple in theory, but deliciously creative in execution. Every team on the field represented a Kingdom (usually a made-up one to keep any bad blood down, but for the official Princess Games you obviously represented your own home), and each Kingdom had its own set of Treasures they needed to keep safe. To win, you had to infiltrate the opposing Kingdoms across a variety of fun obstacles and terrains, find their Treasures, and safely bring them back to your own Treasury to add their value to your total. Whoever had the highest value Treasury when the timer ran out was the winner.

Heist! had three positions you could play, and had to declare who was what at the beginning of the match, but there was no limit on how many players you could assign to a given role, and no rule anywhere saying you needed to have every role represented. Princesses were the actual thieves, whose job it was to go in and collect Treasures, but other than self defense and basic sabotage they weren't allowed to fight. Knights existed to capture Princesses with traps and cunning, but they were honor-bound to return any Treasure they captured in the line of duty to its proper Kingdom. Queens had free reign to fight and take whatever they wished, but couldn't leave the confines of their specific Kingdom's zone. No player on any team could hold more than one Treasure at a time, and the traditional rule was that you had to work your way up a Treasury's score card: you had to secure all the lowest value Treasure before you could attempt a Crown Jewel play.

All-Princess teams were popular, but Mittens knew it wasn't the best way to play. The ideal setup, as far as she was concerned, was solo-Princess, multi-Queen, but that only worked when everybody wasn't doing it, so you had to be willing to adapt your strategy to whatever was popular at the time, and... well. It didn't really matter. She didn't want to play today.

Mittens prances across the field to her team's designated zone, feeling uncomfortable and self conscious about the bounce in her step the entire way. Azora Howl, and the woman who waged a war against Ourania. Adila's namesake. The intelligence, apparently, behind the fiasco in the defense of the Bazaar that crippled the Snake-Husband and made Adila a nervous wreck for weeks afterwards. She sighs, and looks across the space to where the dragon-turned-puppy was standing. She turned and stared up at Eupheria in her elaborate Konkon wedding dress. For some reason, it makes her heart beat a little bit lighter in her chest, and her ears wiggle hopefully on top of her head.

She turns her attention back to the statuesque starry-eyed woman standing rigidly in front of her, and forces her face into a smile.

"You're very lucky," she says with poise and then immediately starts fumbling for the right words, "To... hm. To have the love and admiration of so many special people. I think there's still hope, don't you? For a happy ending to this, I mean."

Yes, Mittens, there is hope. If your Adila has taught her predecessor anything at all, there's hope. Her tail flicks happily back and forth, even as her shoulders slump forward in misery.

[Speak Softly: 13
-What does Adila I want, and how could I help her get it?
-What should I be wary of when dealing with her?
-What can Adila I tell me about the feelings in her heart?]

+Princess Eska? Princess Rita? I look forwards to working together here,+ thought Princess Adila with an extremely strained amount of formality, +but I will be entirely unable to function properly until someone tells me that I am not a bad dog.+

Like most things, Princess Adila has an extremely surface level knowledge of battle chess. She's figured out one (1) Dirty Trick which she had saved up in case she ever needed to play against Princess Helya but other than that this is not her wheelhouse. She turns her head to look at Princess Adila I. She has a different game to play.

To a degree it doesn't matter which team wins. Her friends are represented across all three, getting lost in the game is already ceding victory to Eupheria. What matters is figuring out who can do the most with the victory. Who stands the best chance of getting close? Who can most afford to take the hit? And is there anything in the game itself that represents an opportunity or a threat?

Princess Adila I might be... wrong about some things. But the Operations Manual emphasizes strategic wins over tactical victories. It's not just about capturing princesses but about capturing the right princess.

[Dice swing in the other direction: Look closely with sense on a 14.
- What will happen if I let Alina's team win?
- What will happen if I let Kazelia's team win?
- Tell me about the game itself. How could it hurt me? How could it help me?]

The third game was, of course, Brightball. A simple game - seven hoops, one ball, a team wins by scoring once in all seven hoops. Players wear daringly fashionable silk scarves with a special loop for storing the ball - it's illegal to take even a single step while carrying the ball anywhere other than your scarf, and if any other princess lands a touch anywhere on your body the loop loosens to let the ball fall out. It's a game of speed and agility, athletes moving in dancing flows of dodging and leaping, trailed by ribbons of vibrant colours.

Some of the more patriotic Jedadi aristocracy claimed that Brightball was a Jedadi invention, like everything else - the scarves represented Princess Valissa stealing silk from Illumina and the seven hoops represented the seven kingdoms she robbed. It was impossible to believe that was true after watching Princess Alina in battle for even a few seconds. It seemed to her now that the game was battle training for the Princesses of Illumina.

She'd always wanted to be good at it, but never so much now that she knew that to be true. Being good at Brightball didn't just mean being good at a sport, it meant learning how to move like the most beautiful and perfect Princess in all of Hyperborea.