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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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VitaVitaAR King of Knights

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@Rezod92: 1. You can play as all of them

2. Due to plot elements, Kingprotea is in a bit of a weird area right now.
Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by The Red Seelie
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The Red Seelie Eliminate the Impossible / What remains is Truth

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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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FujiwaraPhoenix Archer Inferno

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@1Charak2: Twins okay, and as we've discussed elsewhere, you'll be siding in for the Momotaro that's been missing for three weeks. We'll start getting retcons in order soon enough.
Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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Okay, I've been meaning to do this a LONG while ago, but my laptop "ran into a problem" and restarted itself and I've just been putting this off for too long. So, (hopefully) WITHOUT ADO:



I'm gonna wait for this one to get approval before moving on to my Servants.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@Rezod92: Okay, time to dissect the form.

The primary problems stem from the abilities and history, and if I'm going to be honest, they just don't add up to me.

See, the Mystic Codes that your proposed Master has don't actually seem all that out-of-place compared to a lot of the Mystic Codes that already exist (see: Fiore's wheelchair/Doctor Octopus gear, literally anything made by Atlas, etc.;), and even then that isn't actually 'magitechy' in any way. Even then, the stuff that'd qualify under a contemporary definition of 'magitech' is, again, Atlas... And Atlas isn't exactly known for letting their tech out. I don't see the 'tech' part.

That actually leads to my next point, though: due to the nature of the world that the RP takes place in, this entire backstory cannot function as it stands. The city is a multinational coalition and involves the Mage's Association, and there's a non-insignificant amount of overlap between magecraft and technology ALREADY present in the city.

Also, the MA isn't actually that neurotic about science and technology crossing; once again I will point to Atlas, but even Chaldea in /GO makes liberal use of magecraft combined with the knowledge and specialization of modern physicists and engineers. Aside from that, the utilization of technology and magecraft can also be seen in /Extra (though Spiritron hacking is WEIRD and, again, Atlas-related) but it's not like Enforcers were sent out to deal with the ones responsible. The MA is stuck-up and haughty, not fundamentalist.

In short: rejected; I'm happy to help refine the idea, but as it stands, it's a no-go.
Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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@PKMNB0Y

Hmmmm....Okay. I understand. I can edit this out, and I would love to have some of your input to help in ironing this out. What do you propose?
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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Sure, all right. Where to start...

For starters, cut out all that stuff about 'heresy' and 'taboo'. Again, if you were doing something the MA didn't approve of, you'd have Enforcers at your neck, and Enforcers do not fuck around.

As for more usable advice... The integration of magecraft and technology is itself not unusable, just that creating something that we could outright call 'magitech' is not something that should be possible. To that end, I'd recommend re-examining the ways in which the two could be used together and concepts from magecraft integrated into technology (or vice versa). The MA can (and probably still will be) stuck-up and elitist about it, which sorta stays in line with the original concept, but that stuff was going to have to be reworked anyways.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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So, in other words, you want me to:

A. Revise the history; Cut out the 'heresy' and 'taboo'.

B. Revise the abilities; Either keep it simple, come up with something entirely different or change it to something more tangible and would make sense in the setting.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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Well, yeah, that's essentially what my statements are boiling down to. Logically, if the abilities change, then the backstory as it is now would have have to follow suit, after all.

You're free to pitch any new ideas you have, too.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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The history part? That's an easy fix.

The abilities? ...I could just scrub the 'magitech' idea all together and just have the bracelets/gauntlets and anklets/shin-guards be magical family artifacts passed down from generation to generation. Would that work?
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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Yeah, that works, though having it only have been a single generation makes that a bit odd. Could always take the 'reverse-engineering' angle if you want, but that works, too.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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Hmmm....

Alright, I think I got this. Give me a sec...
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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@PKMNB0Y

Okay, the master sheet has edited a fair bit. Is this good?
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@Rezod92: Hmm...

'Soul' is a bit of an odd thing to place here; I think if you side that out for something else (maybe relate it to their bloodline's Magic Crest or something?) it should be fine.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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@PKMNB0Y

Edited again. How about now?
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@Rezod92: Fine now. Accepted.
Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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Awesome! Now, I can move on to the Servant. I'm gonna do one, cause I feel like I won't be able to maintain two very well.



Aaaaaand done. Waiting for approval.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@Rezod92: Ah...

Hm. I suppose I forgot pseudo-Servants on the list of ones that are NG. That's a my bad on my part, but I didn't think anyone would try to sign up with one.

I'll go edit that bit in later, but uh... Yeah, sorry, Taiga is a no. They're just too weird given that the actual cast of SN is alive and well during the era this RP takes place during, so yeah.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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IS EVERY POST I MAKE CONSIDERED TOO WIERD HERE!?

For real though, that's a bummer. Alright, I'll come up with someone else.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Rezod92
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@PKMNB0Y

Servant sheet changed entirely. Will this one do?
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