Location: The Laughing Worg Tavern, The City-State of Thorinn, Aetheria
The red-haired girl sighed as she went over her notepad, drawing out a sketch of the matron who had grabbed Siegfried’s arm when he decided that he needed to stand up for Kalie’s honor; to poke his nose in business that wasn’t his.
She didn’t make eye contact with Seele as she spoke up, insisting she wasn’t here to yell or lecture—that she wanted to talk. Rael simply shrugged. Talking didn’t bother her. Being honest and talking about things wasn’t a weakness to her. Similar to when Graves approached her in the town square she offered Seele the opportunity to have a conversation.
“If you want to talk, talk.”The witchy woman nodded politely and took the seat next to Rael at the table, rather than the one across from her. She folded her hands neatly in her lap, and kept her posture straight, as if she were dining with royalty. Her eyes flitted briefly down to the paper, and she made a small, appraising sound.
“That’s all you, isn’t it?” she said, more than she asked.
“Drawing doesn’t seem like a gift Pariah would give. Are you an artist in the real world?”She shook her head,
“Nah, this is just… a hobby. I’m no artist. Just a girl.”Her mother’s words still stung. “Nothing about you is interesting. No talent. No skills. No interests. Disappointing.” she told her sometime ago; before her final year in senior high school was over. Living in Kōriyama for most of her life had left a mark, though her parents never saw how much she tried. Her interests were vast and she tried pretty much everything. Tried out for team sports. Student Council. A variety of clubs. Nothing really stuck. She supposed it was a weird irony that she was good with a sketchbook and pencil. She never fancied herself a mangaka nor did she ever share it with others outside of the internet. When she realized she was getting better at it she hid it from her parents, afraid they’d just scoff at her attempts like everytime else.
She finished the strokes of the matron’s scowl as she heard Seele giggle.
"You make it sound like a disease."“I guess.”“But that’s not true now, is it? In here, I mean. You aren’t ‘just a girl’ in Pariah. I’ve never paid too much attention to the old leaderboards, but even I’m at least somewhat aware of you.” Seele took a breath, she seemed to be thinking. Her tongue pressed around her mouth like she was physically molding her words into shape.
“You were very good yesterday, you’ve obviously earned your position. Most of us had some sort of, oh, moment I suppose, but for you, it’s like that switch just never flipped. You went right on, and you and Benkei pulled us through that dungeon. I think all of them, in some way or another, owe you a thanks for that.”“Is that how you see it? Nah. I’m no less important than anyone else. Graves took down the bat. Kazuki solved both of the puzzles. You made sure we didn’t die.” Rael moved her glance to Seele as she put the piece of graphite and cloth down.
“Nobody owes me anything. I did what I had to do.”It was weird. Rael—no, Hanako—had been waiting for this moment. Acknowledgement. Respect. Gratitude. She had been waiting for it her whole life. Not just with something inane as her drawings, but her decisionmaking and lifestyle. She pined for being recognized as someone who was important and that people looked up to. Yet, strangely enough here she was refusing to bask in it. Her sketches were just hobby work and her decisions in the dungeon were no more important than anyone else. “Why?” She wondered to herself, though when it came to it she had no answer for being such a hypocrite. She just trusted her gut and her gut didn’t sit right if she didn’t speak honestly on the subject.
Seele nodded. She didn’t shy away from Rael’s glance, but there wasn’t an ounce of fight in her eyes either.
“You did, but that’s the problem, isn’t it? You did what you had to do. The dungeon is done, we’re all—most of us—back in the city. Used to be that was it. You could do the deed, and then you could log out, and all of this...” She motioned briefly around.
“...well, all of this just wasn’t. Clearly, that hasn’t been an easy transition for a lot of people to make. And something tells me the people having the hardest time with it, are the people who are, like you, very good at doing what they have to do.”“Yeah. What’s your point?”She sat back, shrugging with her lips, and again she chiseled out her words.
“Someone with a bigger chip on their shoulder than me might tell you to ignore all of it. They’d say something like ‘buck up’ or ‘so what?’ or ‘who cares what these silly people think about you? They’re silly.’ They’d probably tell you that if you’re strong enough and smart enough, you don’t need allies you can trust, you don’t need friends, you don’t even need to be friendly.”“I’m going to respectfully disagree with that hypothetical person. Because that was certainly the case before this glitch, but now…” She sniffed, thumbed her lip.
“The valleys are bigger now, Rael. Deeper. It might not be enough to simply leave your bridges unburned. You may have to strengthen the ones you have. You might have to build new ones. Otherwise you could end up stuck, and alone. You don’t deserve to be alone, Rael.”“That’s a whole lot of words to say ‘don’t be a bitch’, isn’t it?”The red-haired girl had considered the spellcaster’s words. Seele was right that the “valleys” were bigger now—the game was fundamentally different and it wasn’t simply limited to rules of gameplay. The stakes were higher and people were on edge. Chewing out Kalie might’ve not been the smartest choice and admittedly Rael wasn’t sure why she did it. Something about it just offended her to her core and she acted. She wouldn’t apologize for it.
Not now and not ever.
“I’m not leaving town or anything, so I wouldn’t worry about me too much. You’ve got plenty of other people to be concerned with. I’ll be fine. Go talk to Graves. He's planning on talking to Priscilica after lunch. I’ll be around if you need me, but don’t expect me to be dishonest.”