Nigel is a very intimidating looking figure from the neck down. Taunt muscles more comparable to that of a wild ape as opposed to a human. His sickly pale skin is adorned in brown hair throughout and riddled with many scars, some large and some minor. His head is a complete departure from his intimidating physique. Nigel has larger, kind looking eyes, well worn laugh lines and overall soft features giving him a naturally jolly look. He wears glasses though they are only for reading from longer distances. His eye affliction is very minor allowing him to do well enough without them. His light brown hair is a meticulously kept middle part complete with thick side burns and a well waxed, curled moustache.
Essentially reads as a list of his appearance being:
Nigel is a very intimidating looking figure from the neck down.
-Taunt muscles more comparable to that of a wild ape as opposed to a human.
-His sickly pale skin is adorned in brown hair throughout and riddled with many scars, some large and some minor.
His head is a complete departure from his intimidating physique.
-Nigel has larger, kind looking eyes, well worn laugh lines and overall soft features giving him a naturally jolly look.
-He wears glasses though they are only for reading from longer distances.
-His eye affliction is very minor allowing him to do well enough without them.
-His light brown hair is a meticulously kept middle part complete with thick side burns and a well waxed, curled moustache.
Had I written it, I might have constructed the paragraph a little differently for better flow... something like:
Nigel is a very intimidating looking figure from the neck down
, with taut muscles more comparable to those of a wild ape as opposed to a human.
He has sickly pale skin adorned in brown hair throughout, riddled with many scars, large and minor alike. His head
, however, is a complete departure from his intimidating physique
; Nigel has larger, kind looking eyes, well worn laugh lines and overall soft features, giving him a naturally jolly look. He wears glasses, though they are only for reading from longer distances
; this affliction is very minor, allowing him to do well enough without them. His light brown hair is a meticulously kept middle part, complete with thick side burns and a well waxed, curled moustache.
The
bold and underlined bits are the main things I changed.