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[OOC] Grimoiric Heart Page 22

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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Lewascan2
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Lewascan2 "You've yee'd y'er last haw."

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Ponn and I are closing in on the end of our collab. Conversation is finished, and they've reached the school gates. Post could be out as soon as today or tomorrow, depending.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Ponn
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The collab is now up!

Sorry if it's a bit long...
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Lewascan2
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Lewascan2 "You've yee'd y'er last haw."

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The collab is now up!

Sorry if it's a bit long...


The Long Post Side is a pathway to many abilities, some consider to be unnatural.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Lonewolf685
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These posts are looking more like essays at these sizes...
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Izurich
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YESSSSS!!

The Essays, this is what I live for!
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Lewascan2
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Lewascan2 "You've yee'd y'er last haw."

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YESSSSS!!

The Essays, this is what I live for!

Yyyesssssss~ I shall bring yet more to know the glorious dark power of the Essay Post!

In all honestly though, lol, it didn't look anywhere near that long in the google doc. XD

I will say, looking at it on the forum, the sheer color contrast between Camelot and Xolys's text actually makes the latter's even harder to read without highlighting it, but oddly enough that just feels even more appropriate for the eldritch abomination.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by TheWendil
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The school tour collab shouldn't be a long one so it won't quite measure to the essay posts.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Izurich
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The school tour collab shouldn't be a long one so it won't quite measure to the essay posts.


Disappointing…
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by TheWendil
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I’ll be using my collab post to also advance the plot so my next post will move us along.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by TheWendil
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There we go, plot moved on.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Izurich
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Niiiice~ :
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Lonewolf685
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All right, starting next week I work a day job now, so I can work on posts like a normal, well rested human being. Let's goooooo!
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Lonewolf685
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@Ponn

I hope you don't mind me assuming that Olivia would transform to cuddle Xolys in the dorm. It just seemed entirely in character and we moved past the night.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Lewascan2
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Lewascan2 "You've yee'd y'er last haw."

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@Lonewolf685 Suzuya is just a precious little button, isn't she? Olivia has certainly got competition in its own special flavor. XD
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Ponn
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@Lonewolf685

That's perfectly fine. The only reason she wouldn't is if Suzuya was noticeably freaked out, but since she's transformed (and probably did so before even entering the room), Olivia would have no reason not to.

Also, is it safe to assume that transformed Suzuya actually admires Xolys for his combat prowess, probably even saying as much? And on a related topic, from what I saw during the battle, it looks like Suzuya has a better command of english while transformed, or am I misunderstanding things?
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Hidden 3 yrs ago → 3 yrs ago Post by Lonewolf685
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@Ponn

Basically Suzuya is the ultimate case of her Grimoire overwriting her personality and thought process. So she's far more Tomoe Gozen then she is Suzuya when transformed, like Suzuya is taking the backseat. So when she's Burning Heart she looks at Xoyls with Olivia together in battle and thinks they are a beautiful couple who nothing can seperate.

Also while Burning Heart is a lot more confidant then Suzuya and thus isn't flubbing her recollection of English classes with doubt, I think she's been speaking nothing but Japanese while transformed. It's why she speaks in italics and I think I mention she's talking in the language of her homeland

EDIT: Looked back and she has spoken plain english when talking to people. So yeah, she's just blustering a lot less.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Izurich
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Ayyy, there we go, made my post and tagged the appropriate players.

Just ask me if any of y'all want something specific.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by McFazzer
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Tesni is my first real attempt at writing someone so... abrasive. Please let me know if anyone feels like I overstep when doing so. If you have any questions or feel something needs further explaining, likewise give me a poke and I'll happily do so :3
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Hidden 3 yrs ago → 3 yrs ago Post by Lewascan2
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Lewascan2 "You've yee'd y'er last haw."

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Tesni is my first real attempt at writing someone so... abrasive. Please let me know if anyone feels like I overstep when doing so. If you have any questions or feel something needs further explaining, likewise give me a poke and I'll happily do so :3


I'd say the only thing really off about this post is that Tesni has WAY more insight into Chinami's thought processes than seems reasonable. Chinami is only open about those concerns with people she trusts and/or mostly just Alters. She doesn't go around blabbing her worries to all and sundry, and Tesni is not someone she would typically hang around often if she could help it. So, it makes the third/fourth/fifth paragraphs come off, not just IC opinionated, but really weirdly laser-targeted. Just something to keep in mind.

Summarized, the only overstep here is the seeming meta-knowledge going on, because several of the things she said are things she definitely should not know. Otherwise, her general abrasiveness is no issue on my end.
Hidden 3 yrs ago → 3 yrs ago Post by McFazzer
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@Lewascan2 I’ll fix that up then. The third paragraph itself was more out of Tesni’s natural dislike for people acting noble, but I’ll wipe all references to it being grimoire and manipulation specific since that’s clearly meta knowledge that I overlooked in my proofread. And I’ll do the same with paragraph four, making it more about Tesni’s personal read of Chinami and airing grievances rather than specific discussions about her beliefs

Edit: Scrubbed references to grimoires and manipulations by the powers that be. I think I kept the tone consistent without them though (hopefully).
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