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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Zeroth
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@PKMNB0Y Since the trend seems to be everyone making their own pairs instead of mix-and-matching, I'm going to withdraw Seiji and instead put forth two different characters. I made some assumptions with the history of the world and Youkai and such, so please let me know if I should alter anything.


Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@Zeroth: Right, form by form then.

Re: Mika:
  • This bit:
    Though she’s petite, she’s also filled out rather nicely–and she knows it.
    Could probably be phrased a bit better. Yeah, that's how I'll put that. Could be phrased better.
  • Personality seems like it clashes with itself. A girl who tends towards teasing while also shouldering the burden of a clan's livelihood on her shoulders doesn't quite add up; if her wish is to raise it back up, you'd sort of expect her façade to reflect that to some extent, right? A personality more in line with that of a gyaru's would reflect similarly, and in this SPECIFIC case where first impressions matter a lot, letting that "true self" bleed through in either direction (at least for starters) doesn't make much sense to me. In my eyes, the character needs to pick a direction and commit to it. That sorta applies to the whole form, honestly; pick a direction and stick with it instead of going 50/50.
  • Onmyodo technique names: I humbly request you reconsider how these are named. For example, "Kekkai no Jutsu" literally translates to "Technique of Barriers" or "Barrier Technique" (or, if you're really stretching it, Barrier Style or something like that). This is very much a 'me' problem in this context, but, like... Yeah. I'll just leave it at that.
    As for the actual usage of onmyodo... See, logically onmyoji and all that stuff should exist in the world, but in my head Attunement had only really started to come into being around the late Heian in Japan—so, like, around the events of the Genpei War, more or less. Onmyodo as a technique would likely be a line of techniques derived from using ether, and so would not require a Contract to use to begin with. Of course, not all humans should be able to use those techniques to begin with; maybe it'd be apt to call it a certain 'type' of ether that can be manipulated without outside interference only in certain individuals? That's probably the best way to explain it.
  • Backstory... Hm. See, with the knowledge of how onmyodo should be, the story only half holds up... And, well, not just that, but also sort of doesn't match the personality (or, well, in my view, personalities) given?
    On one hand, we have the personality, which is (in my opinion) a clash of two personality types that don't make sense without context. On the other, we have the actual backstory, which... Is way more traumatic than I'd expect given the character's personality. You don't just recover from being backstabbed and seeing all your friends and family killed, much less to the point where you'd be able to tease and crack jokes with other people and be so open with them. You know, after a betrayal after doing exactly that?
    It just... Doesn't make sense. Then you have the other half of the personality to compare to: a desire to 'rebuild' and 'recover' the prestige of a clan. On the initial read, I assumed this to mean that they were 'in decline', not 'wiped out'. The former would make a lot more sense, especially in matters where pride and public perception are involved, but... That isn't really applicable in this context. You have a backstory that seeks vengeance after a devastating betrayal and a personality that makes it seem like the weight of her family rests on her shoulders AND an open enough personality to be affable with everyone, but... These three cannot all coexist within the same character.


Re: Kyozan:
  • Uh... A 1000+ year old rakshasa? Let's start putting things into perspective.
    First, rakshasa bit. What bugs me more than anything with this section is that they're literally just described as 'oni, but better', which... Feels super off-putting to me? There are probably better ways to address the differences in this context without just going that route.
    And besides, it's not as if oni can't do all the things you say they can't. Oni who are smart, who can use magic, who can use more than just weapons of brute force... They existed and continue to exist in-universe. There's no reason they wouldn't, given the multitude of myths that state they can do just that. Being the traditional (and stereotypical) norm isn't quite right in the context of this world and the way it has developed, honestly speaking.
    Now, the age. '1000 years ago' translated into a more apparent year is approximately 1000AD (duh), which places us right around when Heian-era Japan was starting to decline. Now, a thousand years is a damn long time, obviously, but if we use that and reference a bit later in the form:
    Being sealed for hundreds of years by the Aomori Clan
    things get a bit weird. Now, while this does put us at the start of Attunement within Japan (relatively speaking), relationships between human and youkai would have still been pretty poor for at least a few decades (if not centuries) more. Where am I going with this?
    Well, as stated in the OP, a lot of ether's needed for a youkai to really start ramping up in power. That's a lot of kills. Racking up that amount of kills in that timeframe (as you put 1000+ and not, say, 1100+, I'm estimating it to be sub-100 years of chaos) solo is insane and rather unfeasible unless he really went ham murdering people... Which, again, paints a much bigger target on his back and probably has him approaching, like, famous named youkai status—doubly so if the battle left a canyon in it's wake. If he's older than 1000, though, even if by a factor of 100-200 years, that definitely puts him on Big Three level, which... Yeah, no, I'm not allowing that, even if they are depowered to some extent.
  • Backstory. I get... Like, nothing reasonable here. Why was he sealed? Why does he have affection for the people who sealed him away? We get the destruction of the seal and the temple, but no meaningful reason behind the actions that he takes afterwards. A throwaway line about a promise or a vague allusion to watching generation upon generation of humans coming and going isn't enough to justify any of what I just mentioned. I don't have a clue as to why he was as strong as he was, or why he was designated to be hunted, or even why he took any of the actions that he did after popping out of the seal. I can assume, yes, but that assumption alone isn't enough to let me give the okay here. This is also assuming that the battle you allude to at the end of this section did not result in a complete rout, because if it did, there wouldn't be any 'vengeance' motivation in play for Mika.


That should sum up most of my thoughts on the forms.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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  • Name: Kawano Akane
  • Age: 18
  • Appearance: "Is she streaming right outside the bathroom...?" Akane stands at about 157 cm/5'2.
  • Personality: Outgoing and confident, Kawano Akane has a tomboyish disposition with a mild interest in sports and a tendency to dress in more boyish clothing. A straightforward person whose personality is reflective of a common sense approach to reality, even in spite of the fact she is surrounded by the unreal. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why she is an ideal match for the cloudy-minded and unusual girl who happens to also be a giant skeleton. While there is no denying she cares about Shiroyama "Higasha"(could she have tried to pick a real name at least?!), she often finds the girl exceptionally exasperating to deal with. Still, she's never had a single thought of making her leave. Even before they formed a contract. Akane is often at odds with people who appear to display a lack of common sense, in spite of her contracted yokai being precisely one of those sorts of people, and isn't about to hesitate to express her feelings in such situations. The straightman, some would say. Still, Akane isn't without her quirks. She has a secret adoration of adorable things, one that embarrasses her deeply if it's ever pointed out.
  • Abilities: Her contract with "Higasha"(why is it so bad?!) permits Akane several exceptional abilities even when they are not in Resonant form. Her physical abilities are greatly enhanced, allowing her to deliver powerful blows and move very rapidly. She has o actively turn this off in order to actually engage in normal physical activity. She is more durable then she would appear, though does not receive any specific healing abilities. When in their Resonant form, Higasha becomes a somewhat smaller, spectral version of her skeletal self, acting as an immensely powerful melee attack that follows Akane's movements. She can also fire Higasha's fists off at range to strike more distant targets.
    Additionally, a Gashadokuro being "always hungry" translates to being able to eat a lot and never gain weight when contracted. Who knew?
  • Skills: Akane is an agile and athletically capable girl even without the benefit of her contract. She's also more capable with technology then one might expect, having assisted "Higasha"(why?!) with her streaming setup. She's not sure this was a good idea.
  • Equipment: Nothing out of the ordinary.
  • History:
  • Other: N/A


This first one is heavy WiP, I'm having some trouble with finishing up the backstory. ^^;

  • Name: Mina "Tepes"
  • Race: Vampire
  • Age: 556, appears about 10 currently
  • Appearance: "The fact you think this would be satisfying for me isn't amusing." She is around 4'3 or 129 cm in height.
  • Personality: Cruel. Capricious. Cold. All of these words describe the vampire who goes by Mina Tepes. She is unconcerned with human life, and far more driven by her own amusement. Killing the enemy? It comes naturally. And there's hardly a reason to concern herself with the average person, is there? In fact, if they can prove valuable as a meal, why not take a drink? Indeed, Mina Tepes is a cruel and callous girl who sees those around her a meal, or a tool for her amusement. Or at least, that's how it was not so long ago. Her recent defeat has left her severely weakened. While she is still capable of some forms of fighting, it is nothing compared to her prior power. She has begrudgingly acknowledged her need for a contract to reliably sustain herself. It can be said that, in a clinical manner, she is quite protective of her contracted human, if only to ensure her own survival. In spite of her circumstances, she remains high-handed and arrogant, and prone to mocking others. She bears a sadistic streak, and finds her partner's unwillingness to kill(or even drain) others while they are Resonant quite irritating. Still, in spite of all this cruelty, this cold demeanor, can it truly be said there is nothing else to the vampire? That she bears no other feelings in her heart but her own self-interest? Certainly, she acts as such. However...
  • Abilities:
  • Skills:
  • History:
  • Other:


WiP as well, ended up being too late to finish it. Hopefully will be done tomorrow!
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Zeroth
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Roger roger, I expected some of these issues would pop up because of the assumptions I made.

@Zeroth: Right, form by form then.

Re: Mika:
  • This bit:<Snipped quote>Could probably be phrased a bit better. Yeah, that's how I'll put that. Could be phrased better.
  • Personality seems like it clashes with itself. A girl who tends towards teasing while also shouldering the burden of a clan's livelihood on her shoulders doesn't quite add up; if her wish is to raise it back up, you'd sort of expect her façade to reflect that to some extent, right? A personality more in line with that of a gyaru's would reflect similarly, and in this SPECIFIC case where first impressions matter a lot, letting that "true self" bleed through in either direction (at least for starters) doesn't make much sense to me. In my eyes, the character needs to pick a direction and commit to it. That sorta applies to the whole form, honestly; pick a direction and stick with it instead of going 50/50.
  • Onmyodo technique names: I humbly request you reconsider how these are named. For example, "Kekkai no Jutsu" literally translates to "Technique of Barriers" or "Barrier Technique" (or, if you're really stretching it, Barrier Style or something like that). This is very much a 'me' problem in this context, but, like... Yeah. I'll just leave it at that.
    As for the actual usage of onmyodo... See, logically onmyoji and all that stuff should exist in the world, but in my head Attunement had only really started to come into being around the late Heian in Japan—so, like, around the events of the Genpei War, more or less. Onmyodo as a technique would likely be a line of techniques derived from using ether, and so would not require a Contract to use to begin with. Of course, not all humans should be able to use those techniques to begin with; maybe it'd be apt to call it a certain 'type' of ether that can be manipulated without outside interference only in certain individuals? That's probably the best way to explain it.
  • Backstory... Hm. See, with the knowledge of how onmyodo should be, the story only half holds up... And, well, not just that, but also sort of doesn't match the personality (or, well, in my view, personalities) given?
    On one hand, we have the personality, which is (in my opinion) a clash of two personality types that don't make sense without context. On the other, we have the actual backstory, which... Is way more traumatic than I'd expect given the character's personality. You don't just recover from being backstabbed and seeing all your friends and family killed, much less to the point where you'd be able to tease and crack jokes with other people and be so open with them. You know, after a betrayal after doing exactly that?
    It just... Doesn't make sense. Then you have the other half of the personality to compare to: a desire to 'rebuild' and 'recover' the prestige of a clan. On the initial read, I assumed this to mean that they were 'in decline', not 'wiped out'. The former would make a lot more sense, especially in matters where pride and public perception are involved, but... That isn't really applicable in this context. You have a backstory that seeks vengeance after a devastating betrayal and a personality that makes it seem like the weight of her family rests on her shoulders AND an open enough personality to be affable with everyone, but... These three cannot all coexist within the same character.

  • Yeah I'll probably just remove that, sorry. When I use a picture as an "Appearance" I have trouble elucidating in text anything that feels significant enough to be worthwhile, so I usually go for fashion sense, body language, and facial expressions. That line was probably intended more along the lines of how she holds herself, but comes off suitably creepy now that I'm not staying up late writing it.
  • Some parts of the personality are meant to clash because how people act outwardly and how they are inside, to me, are often unaligned until the person comes to self-understanding and grows. But that's obviously a cop out, lol, so:

    • It says that she teases and cracks jokes with others, but it does not say that she trusts others. She "likes to find out what the buttons do," or in other words, she wants to see how people are going to react. It says that she pushes her way into others' "personal bubbles," but it never says she'll let them into hers. It's an intentional two-faced act--she doesn't trust you, so she'll pick at your methods, at who you are, at how you react to your surroundings. When she teases a person about their flaws, can they laugh it off with her, or will they get angry and hostile? Those reactions allow her to gauge the person from a safe distance, while always having the plausible deniability of "it's just a prank, bro!" She's confident enough to provoke people like this in the first place, because she's gotten used to having Kyozan looming over her shoulder at people.
    • The whiplash between "oh she's an Ojou whose family is in decline" to "wait, they're all dead!?" is intentional, and it's part of why I say I'm bad at figuring out what should be left to discover in-RP. She wouldn't be open about what happened to her family, and one of the assumptions I made was that Old-Style families like the Aomori Onmyoji wouldn't be as famous in the modern day as top-level Contractors from big-name companies. So other Player Characters meeting her would ideally have gotten that same impression, that she's just a girl from a prestigious name trying to live up to it--and then find out it's much darker than they realized, after they'd gotten to know her better and started to peel away the surface layers of how she acts and why.
    • Addressing whether or not she seems traumatized felt hard to do without actually playing out the character a bit. But again, that "whiplash" is intentional--a normal person can't go from "haha funny joke" to "I will find you, and I will kill you" at the drop of a hat. Without seeing just how far she goes for her training, or how she treats an enemy in battle, it's difficult to present the level of obsession with her vendetta. I tried to hint at it in how she feels like she has to be the one taking on a leadership role--like taking on the Family Head position--in that the idea of "I have to be the one, it's me," lines up with "I have to make up for what I did, it was my fault, I should've been the one to die that day, not them!" Going out of her way to protect people--whom, as previously mentioned, she would not trust on an interpersonal level--is meant to be an Emiya Shirou-level cope with being a powerless little girl who watched everyone she loved die. She can't let it happen again. And being forced to watch it happen again through RP--because undoubtedly a Grudge is gonna do some collateral damage, I'm sure--would've caused a crack in her shell to start exploring that trauma.
  • I figured giving the techniques "literally thing no jutsu" names would help reinforce the idea that they're the "fundamental" abilities, like how basic karate moves are "Straight Punch," and "Front Kick." Would you prefer more "creative" names, maybe with the implication that it's like "this is the Aomori-Ryu version of basic-thing-category techniques," or is the issue with the specific language used (-jutsu vs -do, Barrier vs Bounded Field, etc)?
  • I can do some rewrites based on what you've said about Onmyoji, again this was where I figured my assumptions would cause issue so that's no problem! I was under the impression that Attunement had only been a thing since the "modern" era, possibly Meiji or something at the earliest, so that's on me. I had figured that Onmyodo would use raw ether (or Ki?) instead of Attunement, which was why the Aomori clan had to "incorporate" Attuning techniques instead of having them from the get-go. The reason Aomori draws some of the energy for her techniques from the shared pool between her and Kyozan isn't because it's required for her to use the spells, but because it strengthens them and grants her more spiritual stamina. Because her training was cut off when she was 12, she didn't have as much opportunity to train her "ether reserves/efficiency" or whatever a "normal" Onmyoji would do to increase their power. Without sharing Kyozan's energy, she would require much more preparation and ritual to use many of her techniques, whereas by drawing on him to strengthen herself she can cast them in the midst of battle with "preparation" reduced to "strategy." If it helps, I tend to view RP Posts as "rpg turns," so when I say things like "it takes time to use" I mean that I'd spend a post where Mika whips out the ink brush or starts folding the origami crane, and then the next post would have her use the Ofuda Tags or the Shikigami. Without Kyozan, though, she'd have to do more stuff like "petitioning the local spirits," "gather power," "set up a territory," so on an so forth like a "proper" Onmyoji.

Re: Kyozan:
  • Uh... A 1000+ year old rakshasa? Let's start putting things into perspective.
    First, rakshasa bit. What bugs me more than anything with this section is that they're literally just described as 'oni, but better', which... Feels super off-putting to me? There are probably better ways to address the differences in this context without just going that route.
    And besides, it's not as if oni can't do all the things you say they can't. Oni who are smart, who can use magic, who can use more than just weapons of brute force... They existed and continue to exist in-universe. There's no reason they wouldn't, given the multitude of myths that state they can do just that. Being the traditional (and stereotypical) norm isn't quite right in the context of this world and the way it has developed, honestly speaking.
    Now, the age. '1000 years ago' translated into a more apparent year is approximately 1000AD (duh), which places us right around when Heian-era Japan was starting to decline. Now, a thousand years is a damn long time, obviously, but if we use that and reference a bit later in the form: <Snipped quote> things get a bit weird. Now, while this does put us at the start of Attunement within Japan (relatively speaking), relationships between human and youkai would have still been pretty poor for at least a few decades (if not centuries) more. Where am I going with this?
    Well, as stated in the OP, a lot of ether's needed for a youkai to really start ramping up in power. That's a lot of kills. Racking up that amount of kills in that timeframe (as you put 1000+ and not, say, 1100+, I'm estimating it to be sub-100 years of chaos) solo is insane and rather unfeasible unless he really went ham murdering people... Which, again, paints a much bigger target on his back and probably has him approaching, like, famous named youkai status—doubly so if the battle left a canyon in it's wake. If he's older than 1000, though, even if by a factor of 100-200 years, that definitely puts him on Big Three level, which... Yeah, no, I'm not allowing that, even if they are depowered to some extent.
  • Backstory. I get... Like, nothing reasonable here. Why was he sealed? Why does he have affection for the people who sealed him away? We get the destruction of the seal and the temple, but no meaningful reason behind the actions that he takes afterwards. A throwaway line about a promise or a vague allusion to watching generation upon generation of humans coming and going isn't enough to justify any of what I just mentioned. I don't have a clue as to why he was as strong as he was, or why he was designated to be hunted, or even why he took any of the actions that he did after popping out of the seal. I can assume, yes, but that assumption alone isn't enough to let me give the okay here. This is also assuming that the battle you allude to at the end of this section did not result in a complete rout, because if it did, there wouldn't be any 'vengeance' motivation in play for Mika.


That should sum up most of my thoughts on the forms.

I'll work on rewriting a lot of stuff for Kyozan too, since again it's my assumptions that caused the discrepancy. Here's what I've got on the point by point:
  • I based the similarity between Rakshasa and Oni on superficial appearances (both described as giants, having horns, etc) and also on the historical inspiration the latter seems to have drawn from the former. If the Oni of your setting, however, aren't the stereotypical ogre type then I'll definitely need to re-evaluate exactly what the differences between them are. A quick re-visit of my research shows that Rakshasa have more Vampire-like traits that Oni may not have--they drink blood, have to be invited into dwellings, and are stronger at night, especially during the new-moon. They're also said to be able to fly as well as cast the usual illusions and shapeshift, and I don't think Oni usually fly? Would it be okay to include that in a weakened form, like say just levitating the self or air-dashing over short distances, instead of up-up-and-away flight? As for why I went with "Oni but better," I wasn't sure how fluid demon speciation was so I went with a take that Oni were, in a sense, "descended" from Rakshasa and thus the older race would look down on the newer one. This could easily just be Kyozan's arrogance, rather than anything factual of the setting.
  • I'm a bit confused on the issue that starts with "the 1000 years ago." Is the issue that he didn't have long enough pre-Sealing to get to the level of power he supposedly had back then? Or that you're concerned that him being that powerful in the first place would put him too high up in the tiers of the setting?

    When I got the idea for the character, it was from one of those tumblr-prompts on a meme site which went along the lines of "An Ancient Evil has broken free of its seal--but finds that in the last 1000 years morals have degenerated so badly it's now not considered evil at all." I tried to twist this idea by asking myself "What does an Ancient Sealed Evil DO for a thousand years? Just sit there? Sleep?" So I answered my own question with the idea that, while Kyozan was sealed, he would eventually become a "fact of life" for the people who sealed him, and vice-versa. In the First Generation, their interactions would've been like "One day, wretched human, I will escape this prison! On that day, your entire bloodline will become my banquet!" "Foul demon, accept thy fate and disappear! So long as the Aomori remain, you shall never walk the earth again!" By the Third Generation, it might've become, "Answer me this, Human--why continue this farce? Why be bound to this land, sacrifice your life for the wishes of those who died in vain? If you're so confident in your seal, just leave me be!" "Because that would mean, one day, even if we were long gone, you would once again rampage. We may not be as long lived as you, but that allows us to look towards the future, and pave the way for our children--something your kind would never understand!"

    And by the generation of Aomori Yuuki, Mika's father, it's become "Blasted boy, what is that noise?! Are those metal birds back in the skies!?" "It's called a radio, Old Demon, and it's "rock music!" I snuck it out cause sitting here on Sealing Gate duty is boring as hell, no thanks to you!" Essentially, Kyozan was in jail long enough that he had nothing left to do but think, and those thoughts were influenced by the people he saw every day. He's an Ancient Evil that's developed Stockholm Syndrome bordering on actual rehabilitation.

    As for the Power Scaling, I didn't know what the "upper tiers" of your setting would be. Since it seems clear that the canyon feat is too close to the Big Three, I'll nerf that along with some of the details of his initial rampage. What would be an acceptable level of power that would require a Clan to take care of his seal afterwards, but without infringing on "why doesn't everyone know this legend" levels of infamy?
  • As for "what he did to get sealed," I had originally included a bit that started with "The Rakshasa came from across the ocean, having already bathed in the blood of many victims. Fleeing his homeland's own powerful demon-slayers, he found himself in Japan, a hostile invader to a land already in the midst of conflict between Youkai and Humanity..." The intent there was that he'd have fought other Youkai as well as Humans to carve out a territory for himself, and then past that it was just the usual "big scary demon lives on a mountain and comes down at night to eat people/steal maidens/get drunk" and so forth. So his body count might be high, but would've been stretched out over a long period of time, first in India, then moving across borders, then settling in Japan. But I took that part out for both length and because I wasn't sure how relevant his whole "journey" would be to the synopsis of "he came, he did a crime, he got sealed." I eventually figured just stating that he's a Rakshasa would be enough to get the idea across that he's an older, foreign demon who must have come from another country.
  • On the subject of his age contributing to the power scale, isn't it significant that the vast majority of that age is actually just from being preserved inside the seal? "Older Demons are Stronger," has to be based on the fact that they're spending all that time growing, fighting, feeding, and all that right? But if you take away the years that he was sealed, Kyozan's actual "life" spent doing those things probably tops out at two centuries or so. So the fact that he might be 1000-1200+ in age doesn't immediately put him on the same level as demons who have actually lived free for that same period of time, right? So would it be more reasonable that he originally only had the power level of a 200+ Years-Spent-Eating-People Youkai, or maybe 150+, and then over the time he was sealed it dwindled down further?
  • The battle indeed did not result in a complete route. Kyozan took a serious wound to protect Mika after dealing similarly serious damage to the attackers. The killers didn't have a contingency in place for this scenario since they expected Kyozan would immediately be on their side, and while they could've probably slain him doing so would've cost them more numbers for nothing. Kyozan had the priority of keeping Mika alive. So both sides made a last show of force to cover a retreat, and since then they haven't encountered each other directly. I left a lot of stuff about the hooded folks vague since I wanted to offer you the option of GMing some side-story for them or having their leader show up as a subordinate to your own Big Bad, whatever would work for you.


Would the rewrites and clarifications I've mentioned thus far fix things, or does more need to be done?
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@Zeroth: Once more unto the breach!

Mika first.
  • Re: Personality stuff (again):
    I feel like the way she probes people out should have been explained better in the form in this case. Her outward-facing mannerisms make sense when presented in this context, but at a glance they didn't really read as such.
    Next point: I feel like if you want to have information hidden from the rest of the cast in a character, you contact the GM and discuss matters privately. A form (as I see it) is a third-person omniscient 'summary' of a character that other people (not just the GM) should have access to in order to understand the character, which means that you want to have most of the cards you want to play on the table when putting it up, so to speak. If it IS public knowledge, though, I think that it's reasonable to expect players to not metagame and know information that shouldn't explicitly be "public knowledge" in-universe.
    Third part loops back to the first; it's a lot easier to make sense of things (and leave other traits to be developed further) if that first part is made clearer.
  • Honestly, names to differentiate them from the "standard" would be better in my opinion. You don't need to denote a barrier as something part of a "barrier style"; it's a barrier, and reiterating that fact would be redundant.
  • I think that onmyoji would generally grow by either expanding those reserves or becoming more efficient in it's usage, yeah, but that's a bit of a smaller point to make here. Translating magical energy into ether is probably fine, though, given how traditionally onmyoji would have shikigami (like, the non-paper familiar types) anyways, so that's probably an okay route to go down.


Re: Kyozan:
  • Levitation and airdashing is probably fine, but I'd definitely try to lean more into the 'skill/speed' over 'strength' relative to one another as a means of differentiation. Arrogance explanation is fine, though.
  • Both are problems here. A relative timeframe as to how long he lived would make it easier to judge, but hitting that cap in the assumed timeframe definitely gets you noticed.
    With regards to the Big Three and a bit more quantification: I'm obviously using Shuten-Douji as a point of reference towards Kyozan specifically, and in-universe he would've had the capability to, say, cleave giant holes in the land with a single swing sort of deal, or bash through fortifications without worry—that sort of power, more or less. A canyon by the end of the fight, especially if it was large enough to be called a canyon in the first place would definitely place you on that level of power imo.
    An acceptable level of power, though... If we're talking late Heian Japan? Probably sacked a few cities on his own. Mass murder, destruction, the works. Maybe even took out a small army or something in the process; something like that.
  • Regarding age: I'm using given age as a frame of reference. The closer we are to a proper number, the easier it is for me to gauge how strong or weak a youkai would/should be. Again, with 1000 years being late Heian Japan and the age being listed as 1000, things didn't exactly line up as well. The bigger problem in this isn't that he was sealed for all that time, but how strong he managed to get BEFORE being sealed... Which, like, we're sorta resolving anyways?
    I had initially mentioned the age not to argue the point that being older would make him stronger, but that he was way stronger than he should have been before being sealed. With the 150-year active lifespan as a point of reference (and a good chunk of that on the run from India all the way through China and into Japan, which sorta limits how much of a bloody trail he can afford to leave behind), he definitely had a higher floor than most of the cast (in his initial iteration, at least).
  • Re: Motivations: I think it works better, but again, need that in the history section. Wasn't present in the initial draft. Also probably more elaboration as to why things changed, but that can be done fairly easily with this in mind.


Uh... Yeah, think that's about it on my end.
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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  • Name: Mina "Tepes"
  • Race: Vampire
  • Age: 556, appears about 10 currently
  • Appearance: "The fact you think this would be satisfying for me isn't amusing." She is around 4'3 or 129 cm in height.
  • Personality: Cruel. Capricious. Cold. All of these words describe the vampire who goes by Mina Tepes. She is unconcerned with human life, and far more driven by her own amusement. Killing the enemy? It comes naturally. And there's hardly a reason to concern herself with the average person, is there? In fact, if they can prove valuable as a meal, why not take a drink? Indeed, Mina Tepes is a cruel and callous girl who sees those around her a meal, or a tool for her amusement. Or at least, that's how it was not so long ago. Her recent defeat has left her severely weakened. While she is still capable of some forms of fighting, it is nothing compared to her prior power. She has begrudgingly acknowledged her need for a contract to reliably sustain herself. It can be said that, in a clinical manner, she is quite protective of her contracted human, if only to ensure her own survival. She also seeks venegeance on the one responsible for her loss of power. In spite of her circumstances, she remains high-handed and arrogant, and prone to mocking others, though she can be perfectly personable if required. Perhaps it is due to her upbringing as a noblelady. She bears a sadistic streak, and finds her partner's unwillingness to kill(or even drain) others while they are Resonant quite irritating. Still, in spite of all this cruelty, this cold demeanor, can it truly be said there is nothing else to the vampire? That she bears no other feelings in her heart but her own self-interest? Certainly, she acts as such. However...
  • Abilities: Even after losing much of her personal power, Mina Tepes is highly dangerous to the average person. She is stronger and faster then she appears, traits which are imparted to the girl who shares her contract. As a vampire, her body can regenerate from significant damage. But after losing much of her power and much of her body, she is far more reliant on Ether(and fresh blood) to maintain this healing ability and continue to survive. As a monster of human origin, her resistance to the corruptive and parasitic nature of Grudges is more akin to a human being's as well. If not for her severely depowered state, she would not require a contract to fight them. When in Resonant state, due to the constant flow of blood and ether, the united form of both contracted girls manifests unrestricted healing ability as long as the brain and heart are at least half intact, similar to the abilities she once possessed. Her primary form of offense is the use of blood, her own or that shed by others, to form projectiles and weapons that she may wield. Due to the high levels of ether she once possessed due to frequent feedings over hundreds of years, she was also capable of firing her magical energy as a "Moonlight Cannon", in an offensive form akin to a laser. This is no longer possible for her, at least currently. Finally, there is a discrepancy in her blood, ever since she was defeated, that she cannot put her finger on. Whatever its nature may be, she has yet to discover...
  • Skills: Due to her upbringing and her long life, Mina is well-educated and versed in a variety of subjects. However, she is not very likely to share knowledge without being prompted, as watching others struggle to figure something out she already knows amuses her. Her practical skills are woefully lacking due to a lack of necessity.
  • History: Once upon a time, a little girl was born very sickly. Her parents, no matter how their riches, how much power they wielded, were unable to prevent her condition from worsening with each passing day. No-one expected her to make it beyond her tenth birthday. She could no longer leave her bed, and every hour her breathing grew more shallow, more painful. They had prepared long for this. They had already purchased a coffin. But then, a miracle occurred. An implausible, impossible event.
    A mysterious stranger offered to save their daughter's life, to cure her illness. He didn't even ask for payment.
    How could they reject such an offer, even if it was a fool's hope?
    As it turned out, his promise wasn't empty. After only a short time with their daughter, her breathing suddenly became better. She was able to sit up and talk again, and soon she could even get out of bed.
    But something was different. The sun hurt her, she described it like it was burning her. Her eyes were red. Her teeth, her canines specifically, had become sharp. Like a pair of fangs.
    The stranger left without explaining what he had done, but her parents were soon able to figure it out. Their beloved daughter had become a vampire. Her life was saved by twisting her into a creature of the night. But they didn't reject their daughter. Instead, they embraced her, and tried to build a life for her. Tithes of blood from their subjects became commonplace, and servants were made to serve as her meals, given benefits for keeping quiet about their role in maintaining her life. Among them was a young servant girl from a local family, of the same age as their daughter. Not merely a provider of blood, but a companion for a girl who couldn't step outside during the day.
    There was a revolt. Perhaps it was because the people had discovered their their daughter's nature. Perhaps it was because of mismanagement of their lands and people. Perhaps it was both. Regardless, their home burned, and the girl's parents were slain before her eyes as they called her a monster. When her companion tried to defend her, she was slain too.
    They cut her. They burned her.
    A monster.
    They murdered her parents. Her friend. They caused her so much pain. And they called her a monster?
    Then she'd be a monster.
    The girl was stronger, faster, then even an adult man. Her injuries mended in seconds, no matter how severe. She didn't need skill to overpower the rebels.
    They were all dead by morning. Every single one. The town was empty of all life, except for the girl.
    She was a monster now.
    Hundreds of years passed, and she was a monster throughout them. If that was how people thought of her, then she would simply fulfill their expectations.
    A Living Curse was what they called her, and it was a title she came to embrace. While she could not grow naturally, by the manipulation of ether she was able to obtain an adult form, and she killed those she pleased and drank from anyone she desired.
    Those who tried to hunt her were killed, too.
    It was when, on a whim, she came to the land of Japan under a year ago, that all of this changed. A figure wielding a strange eastern blade found her one night after she had drank her fill, and attacked her. Their fight was long and intense, but in the end the blade cut her effortlessly, and when she attempted to regenerate she was cut again and again. Entire sections of her body became useless, destroyed, and she nearly faced true death. However, she managed to drag herself away, the figure having mysteriously vanished while she was unconscious, and regenerated what little remained of her body. She was weakened. She couldn't recover fully. Her adult form had been destroyed, returning her to childhood.
    It was quite recently, in a particularly dire situation, that she forged a contract for the sake of her own survival, targeting a girl in a desperate situation.
    She'll have her revenge.
  • Other: N/A


Vampire done, history ended up loooong. Other bios to be finished.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@VitaVitaAR: Right, looking things over... Think the character is mostly fine? Assuming that the starting power level is about on par with the rest of the cast, at least. So long as that approximate level is maintained for the moment, vampy accepted.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Zeroth
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@PKMNB0YI think I got most of the changes we were aiming for? How is it now?


Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@Zeroth: Yeah, I'd say both are fine now. Accepted.
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@PKMNB0Y So what should we expect from the "structure" of this RP? From what's been said thus far I get a mission-based narrative vibe from it, where Players will probably team up and go on a specific "quest" for Grudge hunting? Or will it be more of a central narrative following a particular baddy or group of baddies?
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@Zeroth: Little of column A, little of column B. The early should be more mission-centric, but plot threads should tie together and form arcs here and there.

While I'm here, though...

@Vertigo@SilverPaw: How goes form generation? Obviously, we're a little ways off starting, but it'd be nice to check in to make sure things are going all right there.
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Vertigo
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Gonna work on mine in the next few days, hopefully. Weekend was spent being sick, sadly >>
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by SilverPaw
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I'd hoped to write more this weekend but I didn't get to do that much sadly. I'd say about a third or so is done.
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by RolePlayerRoxas
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RolePlayerRoxas The Thirteenth Something Or Other

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Might take a few more days 'cause of work, but still getting my human bio done.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by RolePlayerRoxas
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RolePlayerRoxas The Thirteenth Something Or Other

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Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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VitaVitaAR King of Knights

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  • Name: Kawano Akane
  • Age: 18
  • Appearance: "Is she streaming right outside the bathroom...?" Akane stands at about 157 cm/5'2.
  • Personality: Outgoing and confident, Kawano Akane has a tomboyish disposition with a mild interest in sports and a tendency to dress in more boyish clothing. A straightforward person whose personality is reflective of a common sense approach to reality, even in spite of the fact she is surrounded by the unreal. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why she is an ideal match for the cloudy-minded and unusual girl who happens to also be a giant skeleton. While there is no denying she cares about Shiroyama "Higasha"(could she have tried to pick a real name at least?!), she often finds the girl exceptionally exasperating to deal with. Still, she's never had a single thought of making her leave. Even before they formed a contract. Akane is often at odds with people who appear to display a lack of common sense, in spite of her contracted yokai being precisely one of those sorts of people, and isn't about to hesitate to express her feelings in such situations. The straightman, some would say. Still, Akane isn't without her quirks. She has a secret adoration of adorable things, one that embarrasses her deeply if it's ever pointed out.
  • Abilities: Her contract with "Higasha"(why is it so bad?!) permits Akane several exceptional abilities even when they are not in Resonant form. Her physical abilities are greatly enhanced, allowing her to deliver powerful blows and move very rapidly. She has o actively turn this off in order to actually engage in normal physical activity. She is more durable then she would appear, though does not receive any specific healing abilities. When in their Resonant form, Higasha becomes a somewhat smaller, spectral version of her skeletal self, acting as an immensely powerful melee attack that follows Akane's movements. She can also fire Higasha's fists off at range to strike more distant targets.
    Additionally, a Gashadokuro being "always hungry" translates to being able to eat a lot and never gain weight when contracted. Who knew?
  • Skills: Akane is an agile and athletically capable girl even without the benefit of her contract. She's also more capable with technology then one might expect, having assisted "Higasha"(why?!) with her streaming setup. She's not sure this was a good idea.
  • Equipment: Nothing out of the ordinary.
  • History: Akane's life has been largely seemingly ordinary. She was born to a fairly normal family, the younger of two daughters. Her older sister, Hinako, was a friendly and good-natured person to whom Akane looked up to. As she grew older, she pursued the track club when she entered high school. Nothing particularly strange happened, though on one particular occasion she was forced to sit out due to a twisted ankle, deeply frustrating her on the day her entire family had shown up to watch. That was the last time she would see her elder sister, as well. After that, she seemed to vanish without a trace, and it was only recently that Akane discovered her elder sister had contracted a yokai and been doing some form of mysterious work. It was not long afterwards that she met a certain scantily-clad girl wandering in the cold during winter, and learned she was a gashadokuro.

    Soon enough, they had formed their own contract, and Akane pursued a line of work she hoped could lead to finding out more about her disappeared sister. Perhaps she'd even find out just where she was.
  • Other: N/A
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by FujiwaraPhoenix
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@RolePlayerRoxas: Accepted.

@VitaVitaAR: Also accepted.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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VitaVitaAR King of Knights

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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by SilverPaw
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Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Vertigo
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