@TheMushroomLord



Much better, move them over.

Figured I may as well shoot my shot.

The Fatal [+]

_{"Fuck, I don't know, 30, give or take 10 years?"
"Wait, seriously? Well, shit, guess I just gotta unzip then."
"Kehehe, what, do I look less human than some of the other fucks around here?"}

A foul-mouthed criminal, always looking out for number one but willing to play longer cons whenever necessary. For people like him, after all, a desperate life in the wild and an isolated world of solitary individuals is the worst situation to be in. The fuck's he gonna do if there's nothing to take, after all? Rub two sticks together like a monkey and hope things work out?

⑇⑉What You Remember⑉⑈

Head on the Shoulders [+]

Couldn't cut it out as an honest one after all. Teach told him that he could've been a craftsman or something. Smart head on his shoulders and quick fingers on his arms or something like that, but c'mon. That was a waste. Apprenticing for ten years to a miserable bastard that never made enough to retire, only to end up bent over like a bitch over the table while some fat cunt rails you (verbally) for not making the quota on whatever dingle-doodle he was supposed to sell at a 500% markup? His smart head told him that there were better things he could do with his hands, so why not go for what would leave a proper mark?

There was that one guy, after all, who had the right idea.

Steal from the rich, share with the poor, and whammo, you'd be the most popular guy on the block! Do that on a larger scale, start challenging shitty lords and worse kings, and kaplow, you're basically a hero of the commonfolk! Free beer on the tap, songs written in your name, and a crowd of ladies wanting to ride you for free! It was just that easy. You'd have to be an idiot not to do it.

⑴ Half his head is missing, and in its place, there is a heatless flame, a bright energy that roars like a bonfire, yet without sound or warmth. A pale, fluorescent brilliance, one that serves as an opening to another space. He can place things in there and pull things out of there. He's tested it. Apparently, he could fit a rucksack's worth of stuff in there. Which could be a lotta money. Or it could be a very heavy rock.

⑵ His hands are quick, the sort of gift for sleight that would make any kleptomaniac jealous. Rings off fingers, cloaks around shoulders, swords off belts, food out of mouths. With such a winning smile (his fleshless mouth is set to a perpetual grimace) and a handsome face (half of which is straight-up on fire), many fall for his charms and go away without even noticing just how much he had lifted off of them in passing.

⑇⑉What You Don’t ⑉⑈

Finger on the Trigger [+]

What the fuck was this???

Who the hell were these four? Where were his guards? Christ, why are they in his house to begin with? What the fuck did he even d-

Oh, ok, fucking pack of rabid vigilantes barking up the wrong tree? Ugh, that's why adventurers always get such shit rep. Didn't they realize how much shit the nation would be in if they offed him here? What, were they going to fund the orphanages and the hospitals? Give work to all the vagrants that 'proper' merchants wouldn't even spit in the direction of? Fine, fuck it! If they wanted a fight, then he'd sh-

Oh god where did his hand go? Shit shit shit, is that a Meteor falling from outside his window? Gods above, what even is a "VNiodfnds WIoneifndosnd"?

This...this was bullshit!

...

And by the time the sun rose over the smoulder ruins of a once-glorious estate, the people were free from the dark and terrible reign of ██████████ the Gourmand.

@Redacted Before I forget to ask, how is language being handled? Do we all just know the local language or is there some sort of active translation effect?

<Snipped quote by TheMushroomLord>

The gods have rewritten all of your brains to speak the local language.

<Snipped quote by Redacted>

Darn. No Tekken vibes where people speak their native language and just understand each other with zero acknowledgement of this happening.

They’ve got the whole busy with RL thing going on.