[OOC] Magical Notes - A Tale of Songs and Knights [Hiatus]

[Alina13]

That's an hour too long xD

[RiverMaiden]

I'm a third of the way down with my IC post. Hopefully someone gets a kick out of it XD

[Alina13]

haha I think my character is pretty bad ass but he's gonna have to either be friends with everyone or just awkwardly stalk everyone xD

[RiverMaiden]

@Alina13
Don't worry! Mary will come to save the day!

...Or make it worse, but whatever works :D

[Lonewolf685]

@Alina13 Well since i'm here I'll give it a go.
First, everything with the spirit is fine. I question why most of the spirits seem to share Tsundere personalities, but since i'm among them it's only an observation, not a complaint.

Second, can you clarify his magic? Is he actually making his words come from another's mouth, or throwing it magically so it sounds like it is coming from somewhere? 10 mile range seems a bit much too, though I struggle to think where you could even use that range to the fullest since he'd likely not know what was going on from that distance.

Third, is the personality intentionally paradoxical? He claims to be cool and calm under pressure, greeting people in a smooth manner, yet is also at the same twitchy, paranoid, and stutters around people he meets.

Beyond the latter two he seems to be an interesting sort, but best wait for the other GMs to weigh in.

[RiverMaiden]

@Lonewolf685
Tia is more kuudere than tsundere, but I see your point. Maybe Spirits are just naturally cold to others? XD

[Lonewolf685]

Well they only come to the person who literally serenades them, so makes sense :3

[BurningCold]

Cloud isn't. It loves to help!

[Lonewolf685]

As does Rin.

[TheWendil]

My Spirits aren't Tsundere....

[Lonewolf685]

No, but you are, Windel-chan~

[TheWendil]

Nah. I'm more of a Yandere.

_{I'm watching you even now.}

[TheWendil]

@Alina13

Much like what Lone said, his personality is conflicting. Is he super confident or is he extremely paranoid? Furthermore, his voice manipulation and air pressure don't seem to coincide with one another. He can keep one so I would recommend getting rid of the air pressure manipulation and keeping the voice mimicry.

[KoL]

@Alina13

Well, I'm at college now so I can't elaborate on my ideas too much. I'll give a proper review once I get back home, but most of what I think boils down to @Lonewolf685's comment, replying to it is half way to help us.

@TheWindel can day what they think as well of they want to.

[KoL]

@Alina13

OK, now that I'm free, I'll submit opinion on your Josiah.

- First, his personality is indeed paradoxical, mostly, how can he be calm and collected and paranoid at the same time? Both traits are kind of mutually exclusive, perhaps if you elaborate a bit further, we can understand him better.

- Second and most important, you need to clear his powers up, since they have no synergy between them/are too exaggerate. You should chose between the pressure manipulation and the sound manipulation, you can expand either one to compensate the loss, with say flight/a sonic shock wave, or whatever you can come up with, but make it more well cohesive. Also, breathing in any air pressure is different than breathing if there's no air, just mind this.

[RiverMaiden]

The Brunette is now airborne. I repeat, The Brunette is now airborne.

[Eklispe]

I did a thing. Now its here. Looks like fun and what better character for a music RP than a deaf one right? XD

Moros Vorsickle

Name: Moros Vorsickle
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Grade: 1st
Academy: Imperial Song Knights' Academy of Cadenza.
Height: 5 feet 11 inches/ 167.6 cm
Weight: 200 pounds/ 90.7185 Kilograms
Alignment: Neutral good

Appearance

Personality: To say Moros is a well-mannered quiet individual would be a bit of an understatement. He is exceedingly polite at all times and he also has a tendency to not speak unless spoken to. These two things combined make it difficult for him to make friends, despite his eagerness to do so. Even if he did make a friend he would find himself having a hard time keeping them around.

However he had a tendency to act in ways one might find surprisingly, like his innate distaste for authority. Moros can also be surprisingly cold at times. His politeness can be used to wall off others and make him an intimidating person to even attempt conversing with.

History: Moros was raised as a single child, expected to follow in his dead father's footsteps as a song knight of incredibly prestige. Despite his father being gone his childhood did not lack in strictness, he was very much raised with the saying that children are meant to be see not heard and speak when spoken to. Unfortunately his mediocre skill led to harsh reprimands.

Moros silently accepted this as was his custom and simply worked harder. Of course he never bothered trying to bring up the excuse that he was deaf since birth so none of this was exactly easy. Despite his hard work he only ever become second best, partly due to his disobedience and lack of internal drive that served his fellow students so well. Still, his mother used her connections to ensure he was chosen to go to the Grand Tournament despite his age and lack of exceptionalism.

Instrument: A large harp, about five feet tall. Usually it is carried in a large case on his back.

Weapon: A metal pole as tall as Moros that he uses for the most part as a walking stick. Despite its normal appearance it feature an odd ability to bend like a piece of rubber at his will. A tool that his father received as a gift and was passed onto him.

Overwhelming Base: Despite his deafness Moros is still a more than proficient singer and his voice is surprisingly deep. When he sings his voice drowns out others in the area, diminishing their effectiveness. In addition as he sings a pervading aura of lethargy enters those in hearing. Both of these effects increase in effectiveness the longer they are applied. His harp produces the opposite effects and when used in conjunction negate each other.

---

Spirit

Name: Lefay
Gender: Female?
Element: Earth
Rank: C
Height: Usually the same as Moros
Weight: Usually about 600 pounds or 272.155 Kilograms.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Appearance: Same silvery appearance as the Silver Surfer when she's not actively changing her color.

Personality: Lefay is a playful, fickle creature, eager to play games and get a rise out of anyone and everyone. She can also be petty at times and you certainly don't want to get on her bad side, which can easily be done by being mean to Moros, who is the only person she'll even consider listening to most of the time. On the other hand she's easily appeased by being offered tributes and its pretty hard for her to hold a grudge for more than a prank or two.

Powers

Quicksilver Form: Lefay can change her form into practically anything if she has enough mass to do it, right down to the color if she desires it. She can control any of her material within five feet and pull it back to her core, a small red orb about the size of a baseball. This allows her to slip out of anything that her core can fit through and be a formidable melee combatant, along with providing an incredible amount of utility. Luckily for anyone she's fighting she can't form herself into sharp or pointy shapes so blunt trauma will likely be the worst of it.

Assimilation: Lefay can absorb earth, metals, and anything of that sort to increase her own mass. The more mass Lefay has the stronger and faster she can be. Normally she holds enough mass to accurately replicate Moros.

[KoL]

@Eklispe

Hi there, since I'm here now, I'll leave a review of your character.

- The first and second paragraphs of his personality are conflicting in some points, like. He's eager to make friends, but also walls people off? That seems like a counter productive behavior that, while not impossible to consolidate *cough*Hedgehog Dilemma*cough*, would require more explanation as to not make it look like he's a mad man.

- I would suggest a more portable instrument, because something that big will likely cause you trouble sometime, but that's just a suggestion, you don't have to take it if you don't want, just be aware of my note.

- I didn't got how his weapon works, a clarification might be needed.

- As far as power goes, I think it's fair, but I don't see how the dampening power can escalate with time, it should be powerful the louder he sings.

- On the Spirit, the first power is mostly ok, but there's an inconsistency. A core should be a rigid center (otherwise it's just more goo, defeating the point of having a core), thus she shouldn't be capable of completely bypassing any place where her core doesn't fit.

- For her second power, I just want to say that she can only absorb things that count as Earth matter. That is, earth, sand, rock, minerals, metals, etc. She' not able to able absorb any other matter, specially organic matter, considering that she's a lump of mercury. By the way, increase her weight, if she's human sized and made of metal she should be much heavier than a person, at least 3 times.

As always, you should take into consideration anything that @TheWindel and @Lonewolf685 might have to add. I'm waiting for a reply.

See ya.

[Lonewolf685]

I'm going to concur with KoL on those points they made. Can't see anything to else to add to that.

[Eklispe]

Alright thanks for the quick review.

-I'm afraid it looks like I did a poor job of explaining this. He doesn't wall people off all the time, that would be silly. Rather think of how when some people get annoyed with someone or angry with them, they react negatively. Rather than being aggressive/violent or complaining, he would simply keep a cool air of politeness towards them in order to make them leave him alone. Like when you try to talk to someone and they only ever give mono-syllable answers and don't try to further the conversation.

-Noted

-Explaining things again. When its ability to bend activates it basically becomes a piece of play-dough. You can bend it with little apparent effort. Unlike play-dough you can't stretch it or really break it anymore than you could when its normal. When its not active then it functions like a normal metal stick you whack people with. Is that more clear?

-Subject to change but I'll put out my reasoning. I thought of it as a sort of noise that is kind of not that noticeable at first but the longer it goes on the more pervasive it becomes, until it becomes the only thing you can hear. Much like the itch that doesn't seem like much but you idly scratch it and it becomes worse and worse until its the only thing you can think about. If not then I'll make the revision to your suggestion.

-Ah yes, apologies, I added the core later in the creation and forgot to revise it. Oops :<

-Fair 'nough

Anything else for me to fix?