[IC] Konosuba: Resurrection

[FamishedPants]

Julius Stiles

@Lady Athena@Hammerman@Spriggs27@Fonniku@Ryougu

---

"Pathetic."

---

Now you've done it.

Julius caught an armored fist to the face, but it wasn't anything he hadn't already experienced before. Besides the armor. Not to say it felt particularly pleasant, but visibly it looked like all it did was irritate the thug. "Who are you supposed to be, my mother?" he massaged his nose for a second, taking notice of the girl's attempt at a stance. Was this place full of disgusting women who couldn't keep the heroics to themselves? And besides, he was kind enough to punch the man instead of the woman. Was chivalry dead here too?

Ignoring both the gunshot and the out-of-character posts in the wrong topic before this one, Stiles replied to the armored girl's rhetoric question. "Picking a fight with a victim of molestation makes you no better than a criminal, ya know? But if you really want me to bea---"

Wait wait wait wait, what am I doing?

Deep breaths.

Now that Julius had gotten rid of that burning sensation in his body, he could think clearly. And clearly, fighting this woman was one of those bad things he was supposed to stop doing. As was striking that man, but he was a dick so Julius forgave that slip-up. Anyways, he needed to stop this before it got out of hand. If things got serious, well...

It was very likely he might beat somebody to death.

That was bad. Very bad. Like a solid 9/10. Only thing worse would be insulting somebody's hair, but even someone like him had standards. Now, how to fix this situation?

"Ah."

He had an idea.

It was now up to Julius Stiles to execute his master plan. It was flawless, really. All he needed was to become a wordsmith great enough to diffuse the situation and give him ample time to tactically retreat before his short fuse went off again. "I've gotta wash my mouth out with some dirty water to get the taste off my lips, smell ya later!" And with all the subtlety of a honey badger tearing a cobra apart, he dashed for the exit and left the guild.

He wasn't joking about the water, though.

[Lucius Cypher]

Yaj just watched and smirked seeing the reaction of the two hotheads after his little prank. Aimee was suitable shocked into silence while the nameless thuggie stumbled around a bit before punching the old man. Soon the hero-to-be with the okay tits took a swing at the guy, so yaj was roaring for yet another fun brawl. But before he could get his punches in, Yuji ran up to him and kicked him in the chest. He had the perfect quip when at the same time he heard a gunshot, looking just in time to see that Aimee had tried to shoot him.

By the time Taj stood back up Aimee was gone, with only Yujo towering over him. His chest was a bit sore, but he was certain there was no serious injury. Getting back to his feet he staggered towards Yuji, in air in his lungs a bit knocked out. ”Whoa… Hold up, lemme catch my breath… Whew!” Now somewhat revitalized Yaj gave Yujo a thumb’s up. ”Nah. No need fer dat yet. I'd consider dis a win, cuz we managed ta not only get rid of dat inquisitor, but also make her gotta shoot me ‘stead of using her big words and hot air. Cides, I'm sure she'll find me ‘ventually.”

Taking a flask off his hip Yaj took a swig before noticing that the thuggish from before was trying to make a beeline towards the exit. Something about washing himself. A devious smirk appeared across his face. ”Still, I'm up fer a lil… Horse play.” as the blond ruffian ran past Yaj, and subtly and deft swipe of the foot was all Yaj needed to try and make the blonde trip and hopefully fall on his face. Yaj made sure to take a slight step closer to Yuji to see how this unravels.

@FamishedPants@Spriggs27

[Fonniku]

.

[Hammerman]

Metel Illuvahyn

---

Metel certainly didn't saw the blond man's response to the kiss coming. If she had, she would've stopped the punch for sure. Quickly, she came to the old man who was now lying down on the floor, She crouched in front of him and asked, "Are you alright, sir?" while giving her hand to help him get up. Unbeknownst to her, she was giving him a nice view of her black panties as she did so, thanks to how short her skirt was.

Before the old man could take her up on her offer however, she heard a gunshot being fired from behind her. She reflectively turned around to see the orc falling down to the ground also, with a little bullet mark on the floor beside him. She heard from the centaur that it was the inquisitor girl who did it, and now she had left the guild to go Goddess knew where. She said to the orc that she intended to chase her as she really wanted to give her a piece of her mind for her attitude. However, the orc, after standing in his feet once again, said that there was no need for that, as he considered her leaving a victory already.

"I agree with him," Metel said, interrupting their conversation. "I don't see you getting through her for sure." She turned to the centaur. "You just have to avoid that kind of person and stop troubling yourself with her attitude. No one is wounded and she has left so this is the best outcome." She explained her reasoning.

Her opinion was somewhat backed up by another woman who just arrived, a swordswoman of sorts judging by the large blade she was carrying. She really said her piece in a philosophical way though, catching her off guard. Most adventurers weren't like her for sure.

@Spriggs27@Fonniku@Lucius Cypher

[DELETED7282737]

Joy Hirasawa

Joy jolted into the sky when someone was touching he tail.

"NYAA"

Touching was a soft word for it, the tail was being squeezed and pulled on. It was rubbed against things which was a weird feeling for the first time with her new tail. There was some form of small child behind her pulling on her tail or something. In panic Joy grabbed the beginning of the tail too making sure it wasn't gonna be pulled off. With twirling eyes and a red face she stared at the girl, angst filling her eyes.

The girl let go of the tail when she got a tick on the hand by her friend. Joy was pulled away from the girl making her lightly stagger in her steps as she moved behind Elrend. Her tail immediatly moved between her legs plastering itself against her belly. Joy placed both her caring hands on het black fluffy tail lightly holding it against her body as tears filled in her eyes. Her knees were clicking against each other in fear. She had never felt such an intens feeling before.

The situation slowly resolved itself after the girl jumped away from them again without a word. She had only wanted to touch Joy her tail and furthermore nothing. Joy looked away at the streets when Elrend tried looking at her. This was awkward.

"I'm okay..."

[Lady Athena]

The man would sit at the desk awaiting the forms when suddenly he is assaulted by a blonde haired man. "Plzz no" He would say even though he didn’t seem to be lowering his guard. Everyone would begin to push in front and try to free this man who was only doing his job till eventually leaving. He would look at the Orcs document and a smirk would appear on his face. "That idiot is quite quick. Wouldn’t of expected anyone to fill out the papers." The man would disappear behind the desk with the documents.

-This will come back to bite Yaj later-

There would be a large bang from the other side of the city walls. Not a single local of the city seemed phased by the way they reacted. The merchants though would begin to close up shop, they seemed to be in a hurry. There would be another bang against the wall.

"The two people I have blessed have officially met now… And the result, conflict… This will end interestingly" The girl would smile "Maybe one day I will bless them with my presence"


@liferusher@Hammerman@Fonniku@Lucius Cypher@FamishedPants@Ryougu@Spriggs27@Norschtalen

[Norschtalen]

Aimee stayed at the church for the rest of that day. Kneeling before the altar, she did nothing but pray, hoping for a sign. Occasionally she would anoint herself with holy water hoping that it would cleanse the taste of scum from her lips. But even if she immediately reincarnated into a newborn body, she still would feel filthy. She felt so violated. Every fiber of her being wanted to crazy; she wanted to go back to that guild hall and kill everyone there. One bullet in each of their heads. But she had to control herself. She knew these erratic emotional swings was due to her goddess's blessing. In the wrong hands they turn normal people into madmen. But Aimee wasn't going to lose control so easily. Her faith was too strong to let it waver now. Granted she had her moments of weakness: She had originally intended to just leave the guild hall peacefully, but something awoke inside of her that forced her to draw her gun. She didn't mean it, but she also knew that no one else would understand.

Those faithless heathens just had no idea what it meant to be touched by the gods. They were all vile savages who turned away from the gods. Even if they had the slightest awareness, they were far too barbaric to earn the gods attention. Indeed, this city was seeped with sin. Adventurers who only cared about themselves and money, who partook in sinful activities like indulging succubi, necromancy, or worse, heresy. "Please, my lady, give me a sign... Tell me that my faith is pure and true! Save me from the vile corruption of those disgusting infidels..." She looked up at the statue of her goddess, praying for some sign. Anything at all to validate Aimee's seething hatred.

[Moonlit Sonata]

Claudius Caligula Westerson

In theory, every existence possesses a "grudge". A child's grudge to be stronger, a fetus's grudge to be born, a friend's grudge to shoulder the pain of another. In order to be a sapient being without a single grudge, you must be an impossible being. You must be something that has glimpsed what mankind calls "Enlightenment", something that has seen the truth of the world and escaped its laws as a result.

And yet...how did it go?

The name is unfamiliar, the feelings are unfamiliar, but the words, the words can still be felt. Like looking through a pane of misted glass, like a song without a melody, like a declaration for the end of an era.

For after all, a grudge does not have to be hatred, it simply has to be will. It is a part of the soul given form as the tether between the soul and the mind. It is a wish, a prayer that extends outwards to infinity despite knowing that nothing besides its speaker will answer it.

Then, it should be asked, what is magic?

Magic is something not-human. Magic is something Other. Magic is something transcendent. Magic is something "wrong".

Magic is not a force. Magic is not a blessing. Magic is not a damnation. Magic is not an idea. Magic is not a concept. Magic is magic. That is all it can ever be, for the second you take a step outside of that tautological hole, you pay the penalty that lies past the veil. Your mind cannot afford for magic to be anything besides magic.

Call on your power, call on those crystals, call on those foundations etched into the world. Call yourself a scholar of magic if so you dare, but lift not the seal that lays in wait, lest you destroy your own mind with the truth that lies at the path's end.

But after all, humans have moods, vacillations, temperaments, ideals, despairs, hopes. They are a tapestry of mind and body, woven together in an unending dance. So then, something every bit as tautological as the forced human-definition of magic would be equally not-human. Yes, for in order to surpass that alien concept known as magic, in order to break through human limits and become something transcendent, one needed to be every bit as divorced from humanity as that very magic. Shunning its power and carving out a path to "the one and only" that has never before been walked. That is the grudge, the wish, that one such being has oriented itself around.

Wizards. Rulers. Demons. Gods. Sitting so far above mankind upon your thrones, wreathed in flame as you look upon the masses below.

-It's weak.

It's hilariously, incomprehensibly weak.

For if that blade you wield is cut from wrath, if that sling you carry is wrought from piety, if that spear you hold is forged of power, if that mount you command is bound with glory, if that blessing you were gifted is born from justice, if that poison you spread is forged from lust, if that scream you bellow is risen from desire, then those false prophecies will be crushed with nothing more than these two hands.

In this existence's mind, it was not a hero. While it called itself a hero, it knew it was not one.

No, it was something beyond such concepts of heroism. It was something that had escaped the narrative cycle.

It was a hero who possessed "plot armor".

It was a 「Main Character」.

And so, the curtain opened on a lone man, a mad glint in his eyes that rivaled the insanity of one who had learned a truth so terrible they dared not speak it. Striding into the guild hall where chaos has reigned, his bandana flowing in the nonexistent breeze, he spoke, his voice slicing through the air without a moment's pause as the illustrious Julius Styles slammed down against the floor in front of him.

"Gahaha! Those who have dared to submit applications should rescind theirs now, for behold, the great Claudius Caligula Westerson has descended upon this establishment! I shall hold auditions for my Sidekicks at this point in time!"

Looks like it was gonna be that kind of day.

[Spriggs27]

Yuji Roien

@Lucius Cypher@Hammerman@Moonlit Sonata

The second that Yaj told the centaur that he was okay with Aimee shooting at him, Yuji cocked an eyebrow at Yaj, wondering why the orc was okay with being shot at by the religious woman. After being explained that he considered her losing her composure as a win, Yuji slowly nodded, slowly understanding what he was saying and liking Yaj's actions. But despite the fact that he said that he was okay with what the woman did, part of Yuji wanted to chase after Aimee and kick her with her rear legs, then out of nowhere Yaj began talking about "horseplay" and the centaur didn't fully understand what he was talking about and parroted what the word."Horse play?"

As she kept her mind wrapped around the word, the small elf from before ended up telling Yuji that Aimee was pretty much a lost cause and that the centaur was better off avoiding people like her in the future. After her brief interaction with Metel, the centaur knight noticed that the guy behind the desk had disappeared after being beaten by the blonde hot-head. Yuji had a gut feeling that something was wrong here." Yaj, I told you not to give your application over the man behind the desk, why didn't you listen? Something was wrong about the application he gave us you should've been a little more careful." She told him.

Out of nowhere, the centaur's ears picked up on a bang and a second one right after the first. Before the centaur could attempt to go looking for the origin of the sounds another human arrived and they were boisterous, to say the least, they were saying lines for their side or applications for their sidekick were going around. After what had happened earlier, Yuji was quickly losing interest in the trial of the hero." I think with all the applications that people have seen today, I don't think any of us wants to fill out another one." She told the man.

[Lucius Cypher]

"Eh? Fancy words dere, blind blondie. Dunno wat yer doin 'ere or wat yer spoutin', but if yer lookin' fer trouble fraid I've done and gotten most of it." Snorting at the girl Yaj looked around and felt that things around here could be a bit more lively. A brawl maybe, or perhaps a prowl through town. With any luck maybe they'll be ambushed or something. Soon a rather loud fellow here for the hero auditions showed up, but just as Yuji said, he may have been too late. Yaj was the only one who submitted a forum and that old man was gone. Looks like Yaj was going to win by default. So Yaj ignored that guy and looked back towards Yuji. "Well den. Dis is all fun an' good, but I could go fer some grub. Normally I'd eat whatevas on da split, but I'm feelin' roight generous. 'Ow bout you an me find a nice place round 'ere dat's got sum good eatin's, eh Yuji?"

Looking towards the others, Yaj figured he could waste his money today. "Dunno 'bout the rest of ya, but if yer a cutie with perky tits an' a fine rump, follow me! Ima get somethin' to eat, my treat!" Taking another swig of ale, Yaj figured that he must be the richest man in the world right now. Truth be told he has been saving up his coin for an actual loft, but in his drunken stupor he had completely forgotten about that. Whether or not any of the ladies would take up Yaj's offer, he stumbled his way out of the guild hall and into the city. He knew this good place that had BBQ that was just to die for.

@Hammerman@Fonniku@Ryougu@Spriggs27

[Hammerman]

At the entrance of "the great Claudius Caligula Westerson", Metel couldn't even be bothered to react. She had enough odd people for today so she just gave him a little glance, rolled her eyes, and continued on with her business.

At the orc's offer for food, at first she was going to decline. After all, she never really liked parties or crowds and she preferred eating her meals alone. But her money was running low and she could certainly use some better food than the cheap stuff she had been eating lately.

"Very well, I could use a bite myself," she answered, accepting the orc's offer. She didn't appreciate his comment about "cuties with perky tits and a fine rump", but she decided not to let it slide. She wasn't in the mood to get angry over the littlest things.

@Lucius Cypher

[Ryonara]

Lupa didn't go far after she jumped off the bridge. On the contrary, she stayed quiet close to the two, watching them from her mysterious location. Because even though Lupa left home, even though she wasn't all too high a rank in the Adventurer's Guild, and even though she was basically a homeless nobody, she was still a hunter. And a hunter never gives up on their prey. That girl with the cat tail will be hers. And nothing nor no one will stop her.

As Lupa watched from a distance she heard a loud bang. She's remembered it before, though she never knew what it was about. Part of her curiosity wanted her to investigate. However she had to stay on this trail. She wanted to at least learn where this girl would be staying at for the night, so that she could catnap her one day. "Time to move." Having stayed in her vantage position for longer than Lupa realized, she stealthy moved else where to continue spying on her quarry and her guardian.

@liferusher@Zelosse

[Zelosse]

Elrend Viridian

@Ryonara@liferusher

The wolf was gone, though that tingle in his spine wasn't exactly a good omen, he rubbed the top of Joys head the same way he would to his own cat years ago back home.

"Next time might not be a curious on-looker. Lets go get you something warmer with a bit more protection, and see if any shops sell a weapon you would be familiar with."

Of course the fact that she wasn't 'from around here' hadn't translated over to anything but the fact that she was not familiar with this particular town, so it was reasonably safe to assume she knew about adventurers and their lifestyle fighting monsters and traveling along the roads. In his care that meant Joy would be in for a lot of walking and sleeping outside in the tent until they decided to lay down in one of the many inns dotting the countries many stops. A tidy business, owning that kind of establishment. Elrend had once considered expanding the family influence to such an ordeal but the idea was not easily brought up.
That would be a problem for next time.

Elrend and Joy made the rounds in the district with ease, her new guide knowing all the best shops to go to for their various needs. They first stopped at a rather drab looking tailors, the exterior looked like it had survived a few wars as the paint was starting to peel along with a bit of the sign so faded it was almost unreadable, but the inside was immaculate and spacious. There was leather armor, padding, long dresses, scarfs, anything a rookie adventurer would need to adorn themselves with.
When it came time to pay, Elrend slid them a piece of parchment and one glance was enough for them to nod and send them off with a smile.

The next shop they came to was a butchers establishment. A quick visit indeed as Elrend nimbly picked out a few choice cuts of prime rib, salted bacon, and some fresh sausages. They would need to resupply every few days but a splurge for his new friend was worth the hassle.
Meats in a burlap sack tucked under his arm, the duo made the rounds at any other store or cart that caught the girls eye. Whatever odds or ends she fancied were procured either by Elrends coin or another signed piece of parchment.

What struck the thief as odd was that some of the various merchants were starting to close up earlier than usual. A tad unaware as to the why, he promptly ignored it in favor of enjoying his time meandering around with Joy.

[Ryougu]

Jasmyn could feel her stomach growl as the orc mentioned food. She was frustrated by the other thing he mentioned, but realizing she had no money and no job, she could do little but resign and tag along. This was quite clearly not her day, but she'd at least vent her frustration. As she meekly followed the orc to the door, she couldn't help but feel the need to take a swing at the cowboy--and she couldn't bother to control herself.

Taking a swing at the man's face and following with a knee aimed at his family jewels, her gaze turned to a cold glare. "Don't get so full of yourself, or a sidekick is just what you'll get, you arrogant toad." Jasmyn was pissed. Pissed at the orc's shamelessness, pissed at the earlier clash, pissed at the man's arrogance, and most of all pissed at herself for not having a way to deal with her frustration without being as much of a hooligan as the others before her were. It was probably nothing personal, in her eyes, the man had just chosen the wrong attitude to be in the same room as her hungry, already-annoyed self. She realized the arrogance in this thought, but she couldn't be bothered to adjust her attitude right now.

---

Without granting the cowboy another look, Jasmyn followed the orc into the city, he might've been Ill-mannered, but he had at least seemed friendly enough for normal conversation. With a sigh, she tried to suppress her anger. It didn't work as well as she'd have liked it to, obviously, but at least she managed to smile a little. Annoying as it was to be considered a nameless 'cutie with perky tits and a nice rump', at least it meant she had those...right?

Slightly reluctant she walked up to the orc's side. She tried to speak in a less-than-hostile tone, but this only caused her to sound like a meek little sheep. "My name's Jasmyn, please use it and stop commenting about my breasts. It's rude." She once more got fed up with herself for being unable to do something as simple as speaking the way she'd wanted, but only showed so as the faintest hint of pout took place on her face.

@Moonlit Sonata @Lucius Cypher

[Lucius Cypher]

As Yaj walked through the city with his entourage one of his guests, the heroine looking girl with the tits, came up to him and introduced herself. Also she wanted Yaj to stop referring to her tits. Her pout was cute and it actually made Yaj want to poke more fun at her. In his drunken state it was a serious consideration to do so. However Yaj was also a somewhat honorable sort, and she did, despite everything he's said to her, respect him enough not to attack him and even accepted his offer. The least he could do is respect this menial request.

"Roit than. Sorry about dat, Lady Jasmyn. All in good jest of course. Lovely ladies like yerself ought to know just how lovely ye be. Dis adventuring life can be hard, full of difficulties an tragedies, sum people ferget demselves. Hurts da ladies real hard me finks, cuz such fine women come back fer many ventures broken body, mind, an spirit. Believe dat dere ain't nothing good 'bout dem no more or dat wat deyz doin' ain't got no meanin. Well, bollocks to dat I say! I'd take a hard workin' adventurer over a fancy tart with her pa's money! Real women earn dere keep, namean?"

Somewhere in that stumbling ramble was a compliment. For all his lechery and drunken shenanigans, Yaj did have some sense of honor. And it usually held out against the tide of poison and stupidity he usually tries to drown himself with. All the while he started to... Walk funny. Like he was trying to dance? Probably for self defense. Truly the teachings of the monks were a mysterious art to the outside observer.

@Ryougu

[Hammerman]

@Ryougu
When Jasmyn "attacked" the loud newcomer, Metel had to stiffle a little laugh. She was annoyed with all the weird people she had to deal today and it was certainly refreshing to at least see one of them get their comeuppance. Yes, even though he just arrived, he still compounded to her annoyance that had been building up throughout the day.

She was even more pleased when she heard her complain about the orc's lewd comment. Perhaps they could get along just fine, so she decided to chip it on the conversation.

"Well, I am glad to hear that," she said to the orc with her arms crossed under her breasts. "Like Jasmyn has said, it is quite rude to refer to people like that. Oh, and my name's Metel. I believe I haven't introduced myself yet." She gave her hand to both Jasmyn and Yaj for a handshake.

@Lucius Cypher

[Fonniku]

.

[Hammerman]

@Fonniku
Metel heard Shana comment about the orc as well and she couldn't help but be a little weirded out by her response. She didn't seem to care at all about the orc's lewd comment, saying "he was just stating the facts". Metel took a glance at Jasmyn and Shana's bodies. She had to admit, Yaj's comment wasn't that far off the mark, so he was indeed "stating the facts". But still...

She shrugged the though from her mind. She was free to think whatever she wanted after all.

At the BBQ place, she ate in her usual manner; calm and composed. She took small portions and bites and drank her wine in sips. She saw no reason why she should hurry. And she wasn't that hungry that she was going to stuff herself with food since the orc was the one paying for it.

[Moonlit Sonata]

Claudius Caligula Westerson

@Fonniku @Ryougu

Two points pierce the world. A strange angry girl had attempted to attack him on her way out; however, she was a fool.

A truly foolish fool.

A peerless fool in her foolishness.

The reason was simple: she had attempted to attack a main character, she had attempted to defy an absolute fate that lay gilded beyond absolute fate itself.

Two attacks. One at the face, one at the Profound Weakness of all men. And yet, Claudius made no effort to dodge, to block, to retaliate. The reason for this became obvious when the strange girl's blows made contact with their target.

Hard. It was harder than it should have been. The strike against his bandana-covered face and the strike against his crotch had not hit their mark, but rather had been stopped by something, the strange girl's attacks only resulting in her potentially injuring herself, depending on how much force was behind those very assaults.

Was it forcefield magic? No, no, there was no indication that magic was used, none of its reek upon the man before her. The truth was something far more powerful, something had perfectly recreated magic without an incantation and without magical energy.

"Gahaha! My E-Rank Barrier Generation Claudiuscrafts have succeeded yet again!"

He had literally been wearing a metal facemask and a metal groin protector beneath his bandana and pants, respectively.

Behold, the transcendent might of Claudius Caligula Westerson.

...

Oh. Another strange girl was talking now as well.

Eh, he'd ignore her. She looked like an NPC at any rate. She was probably a bum, too.

"...wait, I should design a D-Rank Homeless Individual Detection Claudiuscraft."

Already, the mind of the main character had moved on to more important matters.

[Ryougu]

Hearing the Orc's words, Jasmyn's face turned a deep red. She'd thought the orc to be rude, but that was actually a pretty nice thing to say. It also didn't help when Shana mixed in and claimed that there was "nothing wrong with stating the facts". Looking down at her body, she was glad it was covered in armor, yet she was feeling very self-conscious. It wasn't like her breasts were extraordinarily big after all, if anything, they were closer to being relatively small, though admittedly she wasn't flat. Her armor being an exact fit, while undoubtedly being better whilst moving, didn't help anything to hide this, either. Flustered, Jasmyn slowed down a little, walking behind Yaj and Shanna, next to Metel for the rest of the way.

---

Having arrived at the barbecue-restaurant (if you may call it that), Jasmyn ate heartily, but kept her table-manners in mind. The food was indeed really good, and she ate her fill happily, she'd been rather hungry after dealing with so many crazy people. But at least the group gathered here, save Shana, gave her some peace of mind. With her appetite (mostly) sated, Jasmyn turned to Metel. "Say, Metel, didn't you mention something about obtaining a rare plant? With the hero trial a bust, how will you get it, now?" Turning to Shana (a little uncomfortably), Jasmyn asked another question. "And Shana, why were you there? Do you have any big plans?" Finally, she turned to Yaj. "Thanks for the food, but your noteworthy writing speed aside, why did you want to participate in the trial?"

Jasmyn's attempts at making conversation were far from perfect, but she hoped she could at least get to know these people a little better.