<Snipped quote by Apokalipse>
Woah...that was...a bumpy ride...
thanks i try
1x Laugh
Apokalipse AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Banned
Seen
2 mos ago
thanks i try
luckofthedraw You're Storying Wrong
Member
Seen
7 yrs ago
^Finished my final draft... we'll see I suppose. Aaaaand my hider doesn't seem to be functioning rip
Sarcelle Renard How I handle deadlines
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
@luckofthedraw It looks like you have a misaligned Indent lurking in your Abilities Section. Fixing it should make your Hider work.
Sarcelle Renard How I handle deadlines
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
@luckofthedraw In case you can't find it, I managed to get it to work. Just hit the text that says "Raw" at the top of this post and copy this:
⍚ Mado ⥥ 18 ⥥ Male⥥ Bisexual ⍚
[ ⍚ ] A P P E A R A N C E
[ ⍚ ] P E R S O N A L I T Y
[ ⍚ ] B I O G R A P H Y
⍚ Vodahil ⥥ GOD OF NOTHING ⥥ Male ⥥ N/A ⍚
[ ⍚ ] GO D L Y A P P E A R A N C E
[ ⍚ ] K N O W N F O R
Nothingness
Loss
Absence
Voids
Endlessness
[ ⍚ ] F O R M A T I V E M O M E N T S I N H I S T O R Y
[ ⍚ ] S K I L L S E T
[ ⍚ ] A B I L I T I E S
These will unlock as we continue.
Life Force: 0/0 (ignore for now)
Out of Nothing
Reflection on The Definition of Nothing
Nothing Comes
The Encroaching Nature of Nothingness
And To Nothing It Returns
Nothingness is the end of all things
[ ⍚ ] I N V E N T O R Y
Mado has very little on him, and certainly nothing that reminds him of his tribe. His own travelling clothes, which are nice and well made.
Nothing of personal value. Nothing...
[ ⍚ ] R E L A T I O N S H I P S
⍚ Mado ⥥ 18 ⥥ Male⥥ Bisexual ⍚
"I Seem to Have Lost All Purpose"
𝔐y 𝔐ortal ℭ𝔬𝔦𝔩
[ ⍚ ] A P P E A R A N C E
"Mado stands at 5' 10". The young man is light, but not in the least bit weak. His hair is a jet black and cut short. Amongst others he could be easily unnoticed, if it weren't for his eyes. Deep, cold and empty, they are of a blue so dark, they seem to be black. His gaze alone makes a few hardened warriors turn away. Still, standing shorter among the warriors of his land, he is easily lost and forgotten.
The only other thing of note is his scars, plastered down his back and centered on the lower part of it. They are not just gashes and slices, but holes, knots, and grooves...
His curse mark rests near the bottom of his back and indeed he himself has only seen it in the reflection of water. It shines whitish and appears different each time, probably due to the reflection of the water. Upon contact the whitish symbol simply vanishes as if it was never there to begin with.
That's when it starts spreading. Instead of the whitish color radiating out, 'colorlessness' radiates up his back and to his neck. The 'colorlessness' seems to suck the very color out of his skin, and his muscles. It makes his skin turn transparent until one can see his bones straight through his body. This goes up to his neck and, in extreme situations, can reach up to his face. Revealing the skull beneath.
Because of this he wears a lot of pelts and armor to hide his back and neck. Making him seem as if he is always ready for war...
The only other thing of note is his scars, plastered down his back and centered on the lower part of it. They are not just gashes and slices, but holes, knots, and grooves...
His curse mark rests near the bottom of his back and indeed he himself has only seen it in the reflection of water. It shines whitish and appears different each time, probably due to the reflection of the water. Upon contact the whitish symbol simply vanishes as if it was never there to begin with.
That's when it starts spreading. Instead of the whitish color radiating out, 'colorlessness' radiates up his back and to his neck. The 'colorlessness' seems to suck the very color out of his skin, and his muscles. It makes his skin turn transparent until one can see his bones straight through his body. This goes up to his neck and, in extreme situations, can reach up to his face. Revealing the skull beneath.
Because of this he wears a lot of pelts and armor to hide his back and neck. Making him seem as if he is always ready for war...
[ ⍚ ] P E R S O N A L I T Y
"Does Mado even have a personality? Used to be a common question. And for the most part the answer was no. Until one day Mado seemed to grow odd. He seemed to become slightly crazy and unhinged. He would laugh in the oddest of times and would cry when no tears were to be shed.
It seemed to everyone that Mado could simply not understand the social queues of even his own family. Because of this he seems extremely fearful of himself.
Mado tries to keep to himself, knowing this. However, when he gets excited it is not uncommon for him to behave oddly as if he finds it impossible to read the situation at hand. If this is drawn to his attention he becomes worried and frustrated with himself."
It seemed to everyone that Mado could simply not understand the social queues of even his own family. Because of this he seems extremely fearful of himself.
Mado tries to keep to himself, knowing this. However, when he gets excited it is not uncommon for him to behave oddly as if he finds it impossible to read the situation at hand. If this is drawn to his attention he becomes worried and frustrated with himself."
[ ⍚ ] B I O G R A P H Y
"The Altose Clan is where he was born. And it could've been great. Lovely. Maybe even wonderful. Except he was born to his family. A family which has, since his 12th birthday been disavowed by the entirety of the Clan. His father had an intense fascination with his cursed mark. Coupled with his intense interest in magic, Mado found himself in hours of torturous pain as his father found ways of dissecting Mado for this magic.
Indeed, he remembers the terrified screams of his mother as his mother laid him onto something soft and the blood would run over and soak into it. Only the pain drowned it all out. Yet, the young boy did not scream nor twitch. In some senses he welcomed the pain, until the pain itself was nothing.
His family must've been poor, for the food handed to him under his door, while he whimpered in his pitch black room, was not enough to feed a baby. And he ate the same meal everyday until he could no longer taste the food. Indeed in the unlit room everything around him seemed bland and flavorless.
Ever since his father was sentenced by the Clan for his crimes, the boy has been recuperating. Six years later the pain and scars are still there. And that is when the strange feelings set in. As if he was missing something. As if his very soul held nothing at all. He could not cry. He could not feel anger. He could not laugh. Many of the people of Altose attempted to comfort him, but even to them he felt nothing. His attempts at conversation and feeling came off as misplaced since all his emotions seemed to die. In fear he would throw them out there trying to reproduce something of these emotions.
His panic would set back in when he overhears a discussion by several high ranking Altosians. They were talking about his father and how he may have made the right decision in exploring the possible depths of magic. The few people around Mado (for he had no friends to speak of) agreed at once that he needed to get away from Altose for fear that he might lose his mind amongst his memories among the Altosians."
Memories Retained: Ignore for now
Indeed, he remembers the terrified screams of his mother as his mother laid him onto something soft and the blood would run over and soak into it. Only the pain drowned it all out. Yet, the young boy did not scream nor twitch. In some senses he welcomed the pain, until the pain itself was nothing.
His family must've been poor, for the food handed to him under his door, while he whimpered in his pitch black room, was not enough to feed a baby. And he ate the same meal everyday until he could no longer taste the food. Indeed in the unlit room everything around him seemed bland and flavorless.
Ever since his father was sentenced by the Clan for his crimes, the boy has been recuperating. Six years later the pain and scars are still there. And that is when the strange feelings set in. As if he was missing something. As if his very soul held nothing at all. He could not cry. He could not feel anger. He could not laugh. Many of the people of Altose attempted to comfort him, but even to them he felt nothing. His attempts at conversation and feeling came off as misplaced since all his emotions seemed to die. In fear he would throw them out there trying to reproduce something of these emotions.
His panic would set back in when he overhears a discussion by several high ranking Altosians. They were talking about his father and how he may have made the right decision in exploring the possible depths of magic. The few people around Mado (for he had no friends to speak of) agreed at once that he needed to get away from Altose for fear that he might lose his mind amongst his memories among the Altosians."
Memories Retained: Ignore for now
𝔐y ℑmmortal 𝔖𝔬𝔲𝔩
⍚ Vodahil ⥥ GOD OF NOTHING ⥥ Male ⥥ N/A ⍚
<"Where did the gods live before there was anything? The answer is in the bosom of Vodahil. Vodahil wrapped everything and everyone in its arms. In a strange, unearthly sense it was the god's loving father. Nothing, nothing was the only thing that was there with the gods. And it too was one of them. And it loved each of the gods, doting upon them one at a time. It knew each of them by name and loved each one dearly. That is, until something was created.
Once the gods began creating Vodahil found itself left behind, and when the gods entered their own creation, they left Vodahil behind. And alone. Nothingness then fell from its place as a doting mother and became like a child, small and out of the way. Not even bitter and hatred had it for the gods. For it was nothing. But it was hungry and it could consume. And so nothingness began consuming existence wherever it found itself.>
[ ⍚ ] GO D L Y A P P E A R A N C E
"
- Altered Form: Vodahil sometimes appears as a massive black hole that sucks inward, consuming all in its path. Other times it is seen as a green mist that can appear in the form of a strong warrior.
- True Form: The absence of everything.
No light, no air, no sound, no smell, no taste.
- Altered Form: Vodahil sometimes appears as a massive black hole that sucks inward, consuming all in its path. Other times it is seen as a green mist that can appear in the form of a strong warrior.
- True Form: The absence of everything.
No light, no air, no sound, no smell, no taste.
[ ⍚ ] K N O W N F O R
Nothingness
Loss
Absence
Voids
Endlessness
[ ⍚ ] F O R M A T I V E M O M E N T S I N H I S T O R Y
"Vodahil was there in the beginning, nurturing the gods. And the gods nurtured him, for they were eternal, allowing him to exist without needing to feed. Giving them a place to stay within himself and they likewise. When the gods abandoned him for the pleasures of reality. He found himself confused and alone, he would begin eating away at existence. Disliking it for taking away the only family he had ever known.
That is when the gods fought back. They created another world where Vodahil could exist A world that he could eat and consume all by himself. And this is what he did for a millennium. The gods would continue to chain him up, fearing the havoc he could wreak upon the mortal realms. And he would continue to consume and to eat.
There are more than several account of the gods stopping him from breaking through into the mortal realm and consuming everything. These battles always ended in sorrow as the gods remembered who Vodahil once was and Vodahil once again feels the fulfilling presence of the gods (a warm familial feeling), only for it to end with cold, hard existence."
That is when the gods fought back. They created another world where Vodahil could exist A world that he could eat and consume all by himself. And this is what he did for a millennium. The gods would continue to chain him up, fearing the havoc he could wreak upon the mortal realms. And he would continue to consume and to eat.
There are more than several account of the gods stopping him from breaking through into the mortal realm and consuming everything. These battles always ended in sorrow as the gods remembered who Vodahil once was and Vodahil once again feels the fulfilling presence of the gods (a warm familial feeling), only for it to end with cold, hard existence."
𝔐y 𝔊ifts 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫
[ ⍚ ] S K I L L S E T
- Forgotten He can disappear easily or blend into a crowd
- Fearless He is not easily terrified
- Hope of the Lost Those who find themselves without hope, will see him as a natural leader
- Tortured because of his past and his nature, he cannot easily feel pain
- Empty-Headed Mado can more easily ignore distractions
- Partners Due to his desire for company he fights better alongside others
[ ⍚ ] A B I L I T I E S
These will unlock as we continue.
Life Force: 0/0 (ignore for now)
Out of Nothing
Reflection on The Definition of Nothing
Silence: Mado can drown out the noise around him. The very being of noise ceases.
The Empty Set: Mado can choose one immortal to bond with. (see future skills)
No Boundaries: Mado can temporarily move through objects.
The Empty Set: Mado can choose one immortal to bond with. (see future skills)
No Boundaries: Mado can temporarily move through objects.
Nothing Comes
The Encroaching Nature of Nothingness
Unknowable: Mado can reveal the nature of nothingness to a single person, causing this person to go into an extreme form of complacency. More like insanity.
There are No Friends: Mado can temporarily swap his life force with the immortal he bonded with (if this has happened). If he dies while the life force is swapped, the swap is then permanent.
Untouchable:
Mado loses all emotion and understanding and any emotion he has built up for people or things fall away, but he becomes Invulnerable for a short period of time.There are No Friends: Mado can temporarily swap his life force with the immortal he bonded with (if this has happened). If he dies while the life force is swapped, the swap is then permanent.
Untouchable:
And To Nothing It Returns
Nothingness is the end of all things
The Number Zero: Mado can become partially one with a bonded immortal. His soul amplifying and sustaining his partner and vice versa. His remaining willpower and strength is fused with that immortals as well as all memories, hopes, fears, and dreams.
Nearing the Breaking Point: His cursed mark, instead of cutting through the coloring of his skin and muscles, cuts through the very fabric of reality around him. Turning parts of Mado's body in swirling black holes. He can rend the very fabric of space with these black-holes, moving faster. As well as tear the very souls from people's bodies.
Absolute Nothingness: Death: Mado reverts to his pure god form for a short while. This tears his own body asunder instantly and sends out a radial dome of absolute nothingness sucking everything within it (outside of fellow immortals) and all who see it (including immortals) are blinded and dazed by the very image (which there is none) of nothingness. If he had bonded to a partner before this, that partner forgets everything about Mado, even of his existence.
Nearing the Breaking Point: His cursed mark, instead of cutting through the coloring of his skin and muscles, cuts through the very fabric of reality around him. Turning parts of Mado's body in swirling black holes. He can rend the very fabric of space with these black-holes, moving faster. As well as tear the very souls from people's bodies.
Absolute Nothingness: Death: Mado reverts to his pure god form for a short while. This tears his own body asunder instantly and sends out a radial dome of absolute nothingness sucking everything within it (outside of fellow immortals) and all who see it (including immortals) are blinded and dazed by the very image (which there is none) of nothingness. If he had bonded to a partner before this, that partner forgets everything about Mado, even of his existence.
[ ⍚ ] I N V E N T O R Y
Mado has very little on him, and certainly nothing that reminds him of his tribe. His own travelling clothes, which are nice and well made.
Nothing of personal value. Nothing...
[ ⍚ ] R E L A T I O N S H I P S
Will you participate in the Relationship Assignment?: YES
This section will be replaced with a Relation Sheet.
This section will be replaced with a Relation Sheet.
1x Thank
luckofthedraw You're Storying Wrong
Member
Seen
7 yrs ago
@luckofthedraw In case you can't find it, I managed to get it to work. Just hit the text that says "Raw" at the top of this post and copy this:
⍚ Mado ⥥ 18 ⥥ Male⥥ Bisexual ⍚"I Seem to Have Lost All Purpose"𝔐y 𝔐ortal ℭ𝔬𝔦𝔩
[ ⍚ ] A P P E A R A N C E"Mado stands at 5' 10". The young man is light, but not in the least bit weak. His hair is a jet black and cut short. Amongst others he could be easily unnoticed, if it weren't for his eyes. Deep, cold and empty, they are of a blue so dark, they seem to be black. His gaze alone makes a few hardened warriors turn away. Still, standing shorter among the warriors of his land, he is easily lost and forgotten.
The only other thing of note is his scars, plastered down his back and centered on the lower part of it. They are not just gashes and slices, but holes, knots, and grooves...
His curse mark rests near the bottom of his back and indeed he himself has only seen it in the reflection of water. It shines whitish and appears different each time, probably due to the reflection of the water. Upon contact the whitish symbol simply vanishes as if it was never there to begin with.
That's when it starts spreading. Instead of the whitish color radiating out, 'colorlessness' radiates up his back and to his neck. The 'colorlessness' seems to suck the very color out of his skin, and his muscles. It makes his skin turn transparent until one can see his bones straight through his body. This goes up to his neck and, in extreme situations, can reach up to his face. Revealing the skull beneath.
Because of this he wears a lot of pelts and armor to hide his back and neck. Making him seem as if he is always ready for war...
[ ⍚ ] P E R S O N A L I T Y"Does Mado even have a personality? Used to be a common question. And for the most part the answer was no. Until one day Mado seemed to grow odd. He seemed to become slightly crazy and unhinged. He would laugh in the oddest of times and would cry when no tears were to be shed.
It seemed to everyone that Mado could simply not understand the social queues of even his own family. Because of this he seems extremely fearful of himself.
Mado tries to keep to himself, knowing this. However, when he gets excited it is not uncommon for him to behave oddly as if he finds it impossible to read the situation at hand. If this is drawn to his attention he becomes worried and frustrated with himself."
[ ⍚ ] B I O G R A P H Y"The Altose Clan is where he was born. And it could've been great. Lovely. Maybe even wonderful. Except he was born to his family. A family which has, since his 12th birthday been disavowed by the entirety of the Clan. His father had an intense fascination with his cursed mark. Coupled with his intense interest in magic, Mado found himself in hours of torturous pain as his father found ways of dissecting Mado for this magic.
Indeed, he remembers the terrified screams of his mother as his mother laid him onto something soft and the blood would run over and soak into it. Only the pain drowned it all out. Yet, the young boy did not scream nor twitch. In some senses he welcomed the pain, until the pain itself was nothing.
His family must've been poor, for the food handed to him under his door, while he whimpered in his pitch black room, was not enough to feed a baby. And he ate the same meal everyday until he could no longer taste the food. Indeed in the unlit room everything around him seemed bland and flavorless.
Ever since his father was sentenced by the Clan for his crimes, the boy has been recuperating. Six years later the pain and scars are still there. And that is when the strange feelings set in. As if he was missing something. As if his very soul held nothing at all. He could not cry. He could not feel anger. He could not laugh. Many of the people of Altose attempted to comfort him, but even to them he felt nothing. His attempts at conversation and feeling came off as misplaced since all his emotions seemed to die. In fear he would throw them out there trying to reproduce something of these emotions.
His panic would set back in when he overhears a discussion by several high ranking Altosians. They were talking about his father and how he may have made the right decision in exploring the possible depths of magic. The few people around Mado (for he had no friends to speak of) agreed at once that he needed to get away from Altose for fear that he might lose his mind amongst his memories among the Altosians."
Memories Retained: Ignore for now𝔐y ℑmmortal 𝔖𝔬𝔲𝔩
⍚ Vodahil ⥥ GOD OF NOTHING ⥥ Male ⥥ N/A ⍚<Snipped quote by A Forgotten Story>
[ ⍚ ] GO D L Y A P P E A R A N C E"
- Altered Form: Vodahil sometimes appears as a massive black hole that sucks inward, consuming all in its path. Other times it is seen as a green mist that can appear in the form of a strong warrior.
- True Form: The absence of everything.
No light, no air, no sound, no smell, no taste.
[ ⍚ ] K N O W N F O RNothingness
Loss
Absence
Voids
Endlessness
[ ⍚ ] F O R M A T I V E M O M E N T S I N H I S T O R Y"Vodahil was there in the beginning, nurturing the gods. And the gods nurtured him, for they were eternal, allowing him to exist without needing to feed. Giving them a place to stay within himself and they likewise. When the gods abandoned him for the pleasures of reality. He found himself confused and alone, he would begin eating away at existence. Disliking it for taking away the only family he had ever known.
That is when the gods fought back. They created another world where Vodahil could exist A world that he could eat and consume all by himself. And this is what he did for a millennium. The gods would continue to chain him up, fearing the havoc he could wreak upon the mortal realms. And he would continue to consume and to eat.
There are more than several account of the gods stopping him from breaking through into the mortal realm and consuming everything. These battles always ended in sorrow as the gods remembered who Vodahil once was and Vodahil once again feels the fulfilling presence of the gods (a warm familial feeling), only for it to end with cold, hard existence."𝔐y 𝔊ifts 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫
[ ⍚ ] S K I L L S E T
- Forgotten He can disappear easily or blend into a crowd
- Fearless He is not easily terrified
- Hope of the Lost Those who find themselves without hope, will see him as a natural leader
- Tortured because of his past and his nature, he cannot easily feel pain
- Empty-Headed Mado can more easily ignore distractions
- Partners Due to his desire for company he fights better alongside others
[ ⍚ ] A B I L I T I E S
These will unlock as we continue.
Life Force: 0/0 (ignore for now)
Out of Nothing
Reflection on The Definition of NothingSilence: Mado can drown out the noise around him. The very being of noise ceases.
The Empty Set: Mado can choose one immortal to bond with. (see future skills)
No Boundaries: Mado can temporarily move through objects.
Nothing Comes
The Encroaching Nature of NothingnessUnknowable: Mado can reveal the nature of nothingness to a single person, causing this person to go into an extreme form of complacency. More like insanity.Mado loses all emotion and understanding and any emotion he has built up for people or things fall away, but he becomes Invulnerable for a short period of time.
There are No Friends: Mado can temporarily swap his life force with the immortal he bonded with (if this has happened). If he dies while the life force is swapped, the swap is then permanent.
Untouchable:
And To Nothing It Returns
Nothingness is the end of all thingsThe Number Zero: Mado can become partially one with a bonded immortal. His soul amplifying and sustaining his partner and vice versa. His remaining willpower and strength is fused with that immortals as well as all memories, hopes, fears, and dreams.
Nearing the Breaking Point: His cursed mark, instead of cutting through the coloring of his skin and muscles, cuts through the very fabric of reality around him. Turning parts of Mado's body in swirling black holes. He can rend the very fabric of space with these black-holes, moving faster. As well as tear the very souls from people's bodies.
Absolute Nothingness: Death: Mado reverts to his pure god form for a short while. This tears his own body asunder instantly and sends out a radial dome of absolute nothingness sucking everything within it (outside of fellow immortals) and all who see it (including immortals) are blinded and dazed by the very image (which there is none) of nothingness. If he had bonded to a partner before this, that partner forgets everything about Mado, even of his existence.
[ ⍚ ] I N V E N T O R Y
Mado has very little on him, and certainly nothing that reminds him of his tribe. His own travelling clothes, which are nice and well made.
Nothing of personal value. Nothing...
[ ⍚ ] R E L A T I O N S H I P SWill you participate in the Relationship Assignment?: YES
This section will be replaced with a Relation Sheet.
Got it, Thank you so much! Those are some sneaky inserts.
P.S. (I am updating the original post not this last one, Just in Case).
Sarcelle Renard How I handle deadlines
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
@luckofthedraw Happy to help o7
Any who @Mae @Melo, I've made a number of changes to Ledo, so if you two would be so kind as to give him a look I'd greatly appreciate it.
⍚ Feir ⥥ 22 ⥥ Male ⥥ Heterosexual ⍚
[ ⍚ ] A P P E A R A N C E
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] P E R S O N A L I T Y
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] B I O G R A P H Y
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] GO D L Y A P P E A R A N C E
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] K N O W N F O R
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] F O R M A T I V E M O M E N T S I N H I S T O R Y
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] S K I L L S E T
________________________________________
Three General skills to start and up to two combat abilities. Due to the setting you may also have 1 Survival ability.
[ ⍚ ] A B I L I T I E S
________________________________________
These will unlock as we continue.
Life Force: 0/0
The Seeker of the Lost: Weakest Ability
Ledo could have all the power in the world, but none of it would matter if he couldn’t locate those that needed him
The Pathfinder: Moderate Ability
At times, a nudge in the right direction is all that is needed to help a soul that has gone astray. At others, a bit more is needed
The Tempest: Strongest Ability
The title Ledo of the Fair Wind is a misnomer, as the god used to wield some of the most terrible gales humanity had ever seen. But now, he is able to call upon those same winds to save others
[ ⍚ ] I N V E N T O R Y
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] O T H E R
________________________________________
My color code is 3CB371.
[ ⍚ ] R E L A T I O N S H I P S
________________________________________
Any who @Mae @Melo, I've made a number of changes to Ledo, so if you two would be so kind as to give him a look I'd greatly appreciate it.
⍚ Feir ⥥ 22 ⥥ Male ⥥ Heterosexual ⍚
"Settle down? Isn’t that what dying is for?"
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
𝔐y 𝔐ortal ℭ𝔬𝔦𝔩
________________________________________
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] A P P E A R A N C E
________________________________________
Normally dressed from head to toe in various furs, Feir often comes off as a rather suspicious individual when he stumbles upon a new village. It certainly doesn’t help that his sharp, brown eyes look all the more menacing when they are the only aspect of his face one can see. But underneath all of his layers is a man that looks anything but frightening. Because even though his long, raven black hair is often a mess and he carries a rather nasty three-lined scar down the right side of his neck, there is an unmistakable gentleness to the man. This comes in part from his easygoing slouch and the small grin that can often be found lighting up his face.
Standing at 5’10”, Feir is hardly the tallest of individuals, but he doesn’t look scrawny in the slightest as he is made of completely toned muscle from always being on the move. His face is kept clean shaven at all times, as he cares little for how manly he looks but cares a great deal about the practicality of keeping the stuff out of his way. The various furs that make up his attire are worn almost year round, until the miserable heat of the summer months finally beat out his vast stubbornness. In the vagabond’s mind, the furs keep him from smelling too human in the domain of beasts, but whether it has actually helped him is all too open to discussion.
The symbol of his curse begins as a pair of closed eyes in the center of his back. As Feir uses exerts his divinity, they begin to open and grow darker in color. Once fully opened, they begin to take on an unnatural yellow sheen and black tendrils erupt from them, slowly but surely constricting around his body to the center of his chest and begin to make breathing difficult at times. After the tendrils finally meet, Feir’s death is soon to follow.
Standing at 5’10”, Feir is hardly the tallest of individuals, but he doesn’t look scrawny in the slightest as he is made of completely toned muscle from always being on the move. His face is kept clean shaven at all times, as he cares little for how manly he looks but cares a great deal about the practicality of keeping the stuff out of his way. The various furs that make up his attire are worn almost year round, until the miserable heat of the summer months finally beat out his vast stubbornness. In the vagabond’s mind, the furs keep him from smelling too human in the domain of beasts, but whether it has actually helped him is all too open to discussion.
The symbol of his curse begins as a pair of closed eyes in the center of his back. As Feir uses exerts his divinity, they begin to open and grow darker in color. Once fully opened, they begin to take on an unnatural yellow sheen and black tendrils erupt from them, slowly but surely constricting around his body to the center of his chest and begin to make breathing difficult at times. After the tendrils finally meet, Feir’s death is soon to follow.
[ ⍚ ] P E R S O N A L I T Y
________________________________________
Feir is the kind of man that is so quiet and unassuming he is almost instantly relegated to the background of any group. This is something that he doesn’t mind in the slightest, as he is actually prone to come down with a mild case of anxiety whenever he becomes the center of attention, as much of his life has been spent in comfortable isolation. However, he is strangely not all that shy if engaged one-on-one, although his soft voice and all too direct responses often makes it difficult to keep a conversation going with him. But it should go without saying that, if given the choice, the man typically prefers silence.
In all things, the black haired wanderer operates with caution as his primary directive. Feir will go over a plan countless times in his head, looking for the smallest of flaws, before he acts. After all, the smallest mistake can cost one their life out in the wilderness. This attitude carries over to his dealings with others, as it takes quite a while for him to open up and trust a person. So while his journeys have taken him far and wide, he can still count the number of close relationships he has made on one hand.
For better or worse, Feir is also one of the most honest and straightforward individuals a person will ever have the misfortune to come across. He’s not the type to hold back what he’s thinking or sugar coat things for others and fully expects the same treatment in return. In his mind, lies are a tiresome waste of time and would rather cut straight to the heart of the matter, even if it means making an ass out of himself, rather than try to keep track of any fabricated truths. In a lot of ways, this makes him the last person one should turn to for comfort, as he simply doesn't understand the concept of pulling any punches verbally.
Yet despite that, he still has a side of him that is reminiscent of an aloof older brother. Because while he may be atrocious at comforting people, he has an innate sense to protect others. No matter how much he may grumble about one's foolishness for getting themselves into a mess, you can bet that Feir will do what he can to pull them out of it. Where this trait comes from is a mystery to the vagabond, as he had been the runt of his parents litter and never had any younger siblings to develop such an attitude for.
If there is one thing that Feir values about all else, it is the feeling of freedom he gets from his wanderings. Because no matter how comforting life within his tribe may have been, it always felt too stagnant and sedentary for him. So no matter how long his visits in any given village may be, the one thing you can be certain of is that his presence is ephemeral. For as long as he has wandered, there has not yet been a force that has been able to drown out the ever present call of woods, with its promises of freedom and countless new sights to be found.
In all things, the black haired wanderer operates with caution as his primary directive. Feir will go over a plan countless times in his head, looking for the smallest of flaws, before he acts. After all, the smallest mistake can cost one their life out in the wilderness. This attitude carries over to his dealings with others, as it takes quite a while for him to open up and trust a person. So while his journeys have taken him far and wide, he can still count the number of close relationships he has made on one hand.
For better or worse, Feir is also one of the most honest and straightforward individuals a person will ever have the misfortune to come across. He’s not the type to hold back what he’s thinking or sugar coat things for others and fully expects the same treatment in return. In his mind, lies are a tiresome waste of time and would rather cut straight to the heart of the matter, even if it means making an ass out of himself, rather than try to keep track of any fabricated truths. In a lot of ways, this makes him the last person one should turn to for comfort, as he simply doesn't understand the concept of pulling any punches verbally.
Yet despite that, he still has a side of him that is reminiscent of an aloof older brother. Because while he may be atrocious at comforting people, he has an innate sense to protect others. No matter how much he may grumble about one's foolishness for getting themselves into a mess, you can bet that Feir will do what he can to pull them out of it. Where this trait comes from is a mystery to the vagabond, as he had been the runt of his parents litter and never had any younger siblings to develop such an attitude for.
If there is one thing that Feir values about all else, it is the feeling of freedom he gets from his wanderings. Because no matter how comforting life within his tribe may have been, it always felt too stagnant and sedentary for him. So no matter how long his visits in any given village may be, the one thing you can be certain of is that his presence is ephemeral. For as long as he has wandered, there has not yet been a force that has been able to drown out the ever present call of woods, with its promises of freedom and countless new sights to be found.
[ ⍚ ] B I O G R A P H Y
________________________________________
Born to the Wolfrahg tribe, Feir had always been one that felt too cramped in the confines of the village. From as far back as he can remember, he had always spent much of his time on the outskirts of the village, as close to the woods as he could get without getting hauled off by one of his elder siblings. But soon enough he was old enough to accompany his father, Marik, on his hunting expeditions, which would further cement his dislike for how small his village felt. And while he was familiar with all of his tribesmen, he found it difficult to truly grow all that close to any of them. A problem that would be constantly compounded by his quiet nature and the frequent hunts he would embark on.
At 14, the whelp had proven to be a natural hunter and was permitted to go off on his own into the woods. While his first few solo expeditions went off without any incidents, his good fortune quickly ran out. It was the springtime and although he should have known better, the young adolescent became too enwrapped with tracking his mark that he had strayed too far from the hunting grounds he was familiar with. After the initial bit of panic wore off, he tried to follow his own tracks back, only to encounter a bear still lean from its great sleep. To this day, Feir is not entirely sure how he managed to escape the beast, but he still remembers all too well just how hopelessly lost he had become when it had finally given up.
Three months passed before Feir finally stumbled back into the familiar grounds of the Wolfrahg people. A scout thankfully found the boy, malnourished and suffering from a nasty cut on his neck, and quickly brought him back to the village. His family rejoiced at his safe return, having been dangerously close to having given up hope on him ever returning. It took the better portion of two months before the boy was truly healthy again, but it was already clear that he would never quite be the same again. And when a few months later he announced to his father that he intended to leave the village for good, his father merely gave him a sad, knowing smile. It had come as no surprise to the grizzled man, but rather than stopping him he insisted that he learn how to survive out there first. Feir graciously accepted his terms.
Since then, he has wandered the land without a clear goal in sight. To him, the freedom of this lifestyle is enough. And even though he occasionally stops in a few villages, he never stays long. Since he’s left, he has visited his tribe only a handful of times, but will often make an appearance should he catch wind of a gathering of clans.
Memories Retained: Ignore for now
At 14, the whelp had proven to be a natural hunter and was permitted to go off on his own into the woods. While his first few solo expeditions went off without any incidents, his good fortune quickly ran out. It was the springtime and although he should have known better, the young adolescent became too enwrapped with tracking his mark that he had strayed too far from the hunting grounds he was familiar with. After the initial bit of panic wore off, he tried to follow his own tracks back, only to encounter a bear still lean from its great sleep. To this day, Feir is not entirely sure how he managed to escape the beast, but he still remembers all too well just how hopelessly lost he had become when it had finally given up.
Three months passed before Feir finally stumbled back into the familiar grounds of the Wolfrahg people. A scout thankfully found the boy, malnourished and suffering from a nasty cut on his neck, and quickly brought him back to the village. His family rejoiced at his safe return, having been dangerously close to having given up hope on him ever returning. It took the better portion of two months before the boy was truly healthy again, but it was already clear that he would never quite be the same again. And when a few months later he announced to his father that he intended to leave the village for good, his father merely gave him a sad, knowing smile. It had come as no surprise to the grizzled man, but rather than stopping him he insisted that he learn how to survive out there first. Feir graciously accepted his terms.
Since then, he has wandered the land without a clear goal in sight. To him, the freedom of this lifestyle is enough. And even though he occasionally stops in a few villages, he never stays long. Since he’s left, he has visited his tribe only a handful of times, but will often make an appearance should he catch wind of a gathering of clans.
Memories Retained: Ignore for now
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
⍚ Ledo ⥥ God of Travelers, Journeys, and Fair Wind ⥥ Male ⥥ Heterosexual ⍚
________________________________________
𝔐y ℑmmortal 𝔖𝔬𝔲𝔩
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
⍚ Ledo ⥥ God of Travelers, Journeys, and Fair Wind ⥥ Male ⥥ Heterosexual ⍚
”There wasn’t even a star out that night,
And not a soul out there to hear of my plight,
With shadows abound,
I made not a sound,
As I was lost in those woods without a light.
Somehow, he had found me out there,
At that ever slick edge bordering despair,
Drawn by heart’s beat,
And the crunch of feet,
He measured me with silver eyes ever fair.
My thoughts turned to why I had been so long gone,
To how I had nursed back our neighbor’s newest fawn,
And with a brief nod,
From this wary god,
A path was made for me that led straight to the dawn.”
[ ⍚ ] GO D L Y A P P E A R A N C E
________________________________________
As the god of travelers, the form Ledo takes is far from divine in appearance. His face looks aged and wary, which with his drab brown hair and natural slouch makes him look more like a beggar than a god. And at a mere 5’8” he’s also not an incredibly intimidating sight to behold, but those with an observant eye will be able to catch the traces of his godhood. Because no matter how uninterested his eyes may look in any given situation, their unnatural silver color gives away his divine origins. And those that have encountered other gods or goddesses will be able to pick up the otherworldly aura he gives off.
[ ⍚ ] K N O W N F O R
________________________________________
Leading lost souls home
Seen as one of the patron gods of travelers and merchants
Aiding heroes that have lost their way
Bringing a gentle, soothing breeze wherever he goes
Few remember his previous incarnation as a fierce wind god
His aloof, almost disdainful attitude towards humans
Seen as one of the patron gods of travelers and merchants
Aiding heroes that have lost their way
Bringing a gentle, soothing breeze wherever he goes
Few remember his previous incarnation as a fierce wind god
His aloof, almost disdainful attitude towards humans
[ ⍚ ] F O R M A T I V E M O M E N T S I N H I S T O R Y
________________________________________
Not many remember, but before he was the patron god of travelers, Ledo was once the god of the primal wind. Capricious and unremorseful, the young deity cared little for the havoc that accompanied his many whims, leaving equal parts wonder and devastation in his wake. But it wasn’t long before his siblings tired of his antics, so unbeknownst to him, they began to concoct a plan. And one day, they approached the god with a simple bet.
If one were to travel to the few places where worship of Ledo is strongest, they could find several stories on the exact nature of the bet and the way in which Ledo’s siblings tricked him, but the one thing that remains constant is that Ledo lost and his control over the wind was irreversibly bound to the chains of his newly issued duty. And so the god of travelers was born.
His new job was simple: locate lost souls and guide them home. At first, the god was bitter with his new position and was quick to abandon those that he deemed unworthy of his aid. But as time passed and worship of the god increased, he began to fulfill his duties more faithfully. It was around this time that he started to appear within the great epics, but Ledo was always a side character, relegated to guiding the heroes should they lose their way or reuniting loved ones.
Of all the divine, Ledo takes on the most human like appearance, so as not to scare off those he is responsible for protecting. Naturally, this position has resulted in him having far more intimate dealings with mortals than most of his kin, although he found those interactions far from endearing. Because in Ledo’s eyes, many of the creatures in his charge were foolish and prone to losing their way for the most inane reasons, leaving him with a rather low opinion of the species. But as a god, it was his purpose to guide them home, so he did just that without complaint.
At least, that was before he met his starkissed. Where centuries had made him single minded in his duty, only ever seeing a start and an end to any journey, a single woman managed to show him the sights and sounds in between. The god changed as he spent more time with her, beginning to temper his disdain for humanity with a newfound understanding and patience. And to think that it all started with the irreverent woman yelling at the god for carelessly trampling through a field of flowers.
When the dark gods conspired to curse the starkissed, Ledo was one of the first to fall. As a god that specialized in finding those that have been lost, he was posed to be a rather obstinate thorn to their schemes. One night he set out to help two travelers that appeared to be hopelessly lost, only to realize far too late that he had walked into a trap. But even when they subdued him and planted their curse, Ledo merely graced his assailants with a defiant smirk.
”Have you forgotten that I am the shepherd of the lost? I will find my way back.”
If one were to travel to the few places where worship of Ledo is strongest, they could find several stories on the exact nature of the bet and the way in which Ledo’s siblings tricked him, but the one thing that remains constant is that Ledo lost and his control over the wind was irreversibly bound to the chains of his newly issued duty. And so the god of travelers was born.
His new job was simple: locate lost souls and guide them home. At first, the god was bitter with his new position and was quick to abandon those that he deemed unworthy of his aid. But as time passed and worship of the god increased, he began to fulfill his duties more faithfully. It was around this time that he started to appear within the great epics, but Ledo was always a side character, relegated to guiding the heroes should they lose their way or reuniting loved ones.
Of all the divine, Ledo takes on the most human like appearance, so as not to scare off those he is responsible for protecting. Naturally, this position has resulted in him having far more intimate dealings with mortals than most of his kin, although he found those interactions far from endearing. Because in Ledo’s eyes, many of the creatures in his charge were foolish and prone to losing their way for the most inane reasons, leaving him with a rather low opinion of the species. But as a god, it was his purpose to guide them home, so he did just that without complaint.
At least, that was before he met his starkissed. Where centuries had made him single minded in his duty, only ever seeing a start and an end to any journey, a single woman managed to show him the sights and sounds in between. The god changed as he spent more time with her, beginning to temper his disdain for humanity with a newfound understanding and patience. And to think that it all started with the irreverent woman yelling at the god for carelessly trampling through a field of flowers.
When the dark gods conspired to curse the starkissed, Ledo was one of the first to fall. As a god that specialized in finding those that have been lost, he was posed to be a rather obstinate thorn to their schemes. One night he set out to help two travelers that appeared to be hopelessly lost, only to realize far too late that he had walked into a trap. But even when they subdued him and planted their curse, Ledo merely graced his assailants with a defiant smirk.
”Have you forgotten that I am the shepherd of the lost? I will find my way back.”
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________
𝔐y 𝔊ifts 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫
________________________________________
________________________________________
[ ⍚ ] S K I L L S E T
________________________________________
Three General skills to start and up to two combat abilities. Due to the setting you may also have 1 Survival ability.
- Lay of the land: Years of wandering has left Feir with a near infallible inner compass and an intimate understanding of the various terrains surrounding the tribes
- Rudimentary Craftsmanship: With a life that would bring little contact with other people, Feir’s father thought it prudent to ensure that his son be able to furnish and maintain basic tools that he would need on his travels
- Keenly Observant: One doesn’t survive on their own in the unforgiving wild without being able to notice the subtlest of changes in their surroundings
- Wilderness Expert: When it comes to surviving away from any semblance of society, few compare to the wealth of knowledge Feir has cultivated over the years
- Archery: One of the most reliable ways to secure food in the wild is to have a steady hand with a bow, so it comes as little surprise that he is a decent shot
- Axe Fighting: Feir has had more run ins than he cares to admit with deadly creatures that got past his bow, so learning how to make use of his axe quickly became a top priority
[ ⍚ ] A B I L I T I E S
________________________________________
These will unlock as we continue.
Life Force: 0/0
The Seeker of the Lost: Weakest Ability
Ledo could have all the power in the world, but none of it would matter if he couldn’t locate those that needed him
The Right Direction Taking form as more of a feeling than a true bearing, Feir is able to sense that he is moving in the direction of whoever or whatever he is looking for
Fleeting Wind By channeling this ability, Feir is capable of moving inhumanly fast for a maximum of an hour. Afterwards, his mortal body will be extremely weak from the exorbitant strain it was put through
Godly Beckon If a prayer and suitable offering has been offered to Ledo for someone who has been lost, Feir can call upon the wind to fly him directly to that person, although he has no direct control of said flight
Fleeting Wind By channeling this ability, Feir is capable of moving inhumanly fast for a maximum of an hour. Afterwards, his mortal body will be extremely weak from the exorbitant strain it was put through
Godly Beckon If a prayer and suitable offering has been offered to Ledo for someone who has been lost, Feir can call upon the wind to fly him directly to that person, although he has no direct control of said flight
The Pathfinder: Moderate Ability
At times, a nudge in the right direction is all that is needed to help a soul that has gone astray. At others, a bit more is needed
Radiant Path Inexplicably, a path of golden light appears before the target of this power, leading them straight to their destination. The god himself isn’t sure how the power works, but it somehow plots the quickest course while avoiding any areas of potential danger. The golden sheen fades with time, but is always visible, even if just barely so, until the target reaches the end of it
Guiding Respite With a gentle breath, Feir is able to call forth a cleansing wind that blows away anything, be they doubts, fears, or even supernatural control, that is preventing a person from continuing (or even beginning) their journey. The relief is only temporary though and will fade within a few days if they have not found a way to truly deal with whatever is holding them back
Second Wind No matter what condition an individual is in – be they exhausted, wounded, or even paralyzed from a poison - Feir is able to take on whatever ails the target onto himself. Of course, since he is no longer immortal, the effects of what he takes on are experienced in full
Guiding Respite With a gentle breath, Feir is able to call forth a cleansing wind that blows away anything, be they doubts, fears, or even supernatural control, that is preventing a person from continuing (or even beginning) their journey. The relief is only temporary though and will fade within a few days if they have not found a way to truly deal with whatever is holding them back
Second Wind No matter what condition an individual is in – be they exhausted, wounded, or even paralyzed from a poison - Feir is able to take on whatever ails the target onto himself. Of course, since he is no longer immortal, the effects of what he takes on are experienced in full
The Tempest: Strongest Ability
The title Ledo of the Fair Wind is a misnomer, as the god used to wield some of the most terrible gales humanity had ever seen. But now, he is able to call upon those same winds to save others
Capricious Gale Out of nowhere, Feir can summon a strong gust of wind, which is capable of physically throwing grown men back a few feet
Skyward An impossibly powerful updraft of wind carries Feir into the air and effectively gives him the ability to fly for an hour at a time
Eye of the Storm (Death) A gale the likes of which comes straight out of legends tear the land a part, destroying all in its path save for the small area in the center of it that Feir and those he protects reside within. The windstorm can rage for a full day should Feir wish it and encompasses an area as large as half a mile in diameter
Skyward An impossibly powerful updraft of wind carries Feir into the air and effectively gives him the ability to fly for an hour at a time
Eye of the Storm (Death) A gale the likes of which comes straight out of legends tear the land a part, destroying all in its path save for the small area in the center of it that Feir and those he protects reside within. The windstorm can rage for a full day should Feir wish it and encompasses an area as large as half a mile in diameter
[ ⍚ ] I N V E N T O R Y
________________________________________
- A decent quality bow and quiver of arrows
- A handmade axe that has definitely seen better days
- A skinning knife with a well-kept blade
- A pouch for storing useful herbs and berries
- A charm for safe passage made by his mother
[ ⍚ ] O T H E R
________________________________________
My color code is 3CB371.
[ ⍚ ] R E L A T I O N S H I P S
________________________________________
Will you participate in the Relationship Assignment?:
YES
YES
OMG! Finally have a core concept for my abilities. Sorry in advance for sucking badly at quantifying them. Me and numbers just don't mix 
So I'll probably need help with that... Also, bear in mind seeing how Maeve is the goddess of balance, harmony and cycles, some of her abilities' effects may be benign as well as detrimental depending on the character's actions. I'll add tidbits to my WIP throughout the day and see if I can finish it more or less tonight.
So I'll probably need help with that... Also, bear in mind seeing how Maeve is the goddess of balance, harmony and cycles, some of her abilities' effects may be benign as well as detrimental depending on the character's actions. I'll add tidbits to my WIP throughout the day and see if I can finish it more or less tonight.
1x Like
HowlsOfWinter sad but rad
Member
Seen
2 yrs ago
@HowlsOfWinter were you going to play Asteria again :D? Just wondering which tribes will be carrying over.
I will definitely play Asteria again but I'll fix her up a bit before posting in the Char tab.
Thecrash20
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
Woah. Mispost
So the abilities in my WIP are more or less defined and ready for inspection and quantification
luckofthedraw You're Storying Wrong
Member
Seen
7 yrs ago
^so I based Mado's personality on the google definition of nothingness: google.com/search?q=nothingness+defin…
Sorta a play on ideas where I used both definitions to define his personality and character...
Sorta a play on ideas where I used both definitions to define his personality and character...
1x Like
Framing A Moose Overshare Extraordinaire
Member
Seen
0-24 hrs ago
@Thecrash20
Wait! You musn't post another post until tomorrow! Currently you have 304 posts in 304 days! It is clear you are the chosen one!
Wait! You musn't post another post until tomorrow! Currently you have 304 posts in 304 days! It is clear you are the chosen one!
GM
Mae Crayola
Member
Seen
15 hrs ago
Sorry for the wait everyone!!
@Leos Klien Thankyou very much for submitting the first new CS! <3
@luckofthedraw Up next we have *drumroll* Mado! Let's take a look.
@Thecrash20 Yeah the CS is basically 2 CS's in one so I understand your pain XD Take as long as you need, don't burn yourself out before the RP even starts.
What sort of clothes does he tend to wear?
Oh excellent! Are you making a new Clan? If you give me a brief description of it I'll add it up to the Clan page for people to use.
@Apokalipse I love how you've gone for an unusual concept :D Really creepy exerpt, I love it <3
Sounds like her and Raydark would get along xD
@13org Right so, if I remember correctly, the sheet was still under review. So let me take a look at it again for you :D
@Sarcelle Renard Pretty subtle adjustments to the human form but they read really nice. I really like the adjusted God biography :D
got tired of the strong memory ;D? Rudimentary Craftsmanship is a good skill though :D
If you want feel free to remove the limitations on both Capricious Gale and Skyward, feel free. They're pretty tame for the slots they're in. Remove the distance from skyward and replace it with flight he can call on for up to an hour :D
@ihinka don't worry at all about the numbers, we'll sort all those out at the end.
EDIT: sorry I'll review now woops!
Right I'll be adding Longear up to the Clan list as well.
PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO MAKE CLANS guys! This is a collaborative project in alot of ways <3
@Leos Klien Thankyou very much for submitting the first new CS! <3
What sort of clothing does he tend to wear?
Can you elaborate a bit more on what his childhood was like? How his upbringing was not the best, or what happened to his parents if they were still there. I'm guessing the scarring in his appearance section happened while guarding the caravan, or was it sometime else?
Skills:
Skillslot 2: Pick either skilled with a blade or skilled with a spear, each weapon mastery requires one slot.
Skillslot 3: Pick either hunting or foraging
other then that looking great, excellent :D
Abilities:
Ok so you designed your CS before there were examples but I'm really happy to help come up with stuff as things are pretty powerful atm :D
Shadow form is more of an Ability 2/Potency 1 level ability (Rimguage has something similar if you need a comparison) so you'll need to move this up.
Shadow fiends is too powerful for the slot. Summoning extra units to aid you is a more late a large number of capable/powerful soldiers is a tier 3 level ability.
Possible Ability 1 examples might be things like seeing in the dark, dimming nearby lights or making shadows longer despite the time of day, making someone feel as if they are being watched, making shadows take the shape of other things, inspire light sciophobia in a target for a short period of time.
Shadow blade can either be bumped up to a 2:3 / slot 6 placement or you can weaken it a bit so it's just a normal weapon summon.
Shadow lance is fine :D
Shadow Ogre: Vorikimaar can summon a large shadowey entity to his aid. This large beast responds to Vorikimaar's commands to protect and destroy.
While it is really cool, I'm removing "gain extra potency // 70% lifeforce cost" bonus to his abilities. Potencies cannot be increased or cost reduced, simply due to the fact that it's too difficult for me to balance that against everyone else's character powers and the world. The roleplay revolves around the ability system as it is made currently and I would have to go through and re-adjust everything to suit the extra potency/lifeforce cost, which would also set a precedent for other players as well.
As it is this makes every one of his abilities 30% more powerful then all other characters on top of the extra potency, which can't really be quantified. In total that basically means as a character he is 630% more powerful then he should be, and that's not taking into account that all his powers become more dangerous as well. You're looking at a character 10x more powerful then other gods and the world as well, so it's just not something that I can give the go ahead on in it's current state.
Without the stipend your Ability 3 "A shadow upon the land" and "the passing of the moon" are pretty weak. So you can either bump one of those down to a tier 2 and replace these two slots with something with a bit more oomph.
Adjust Blighted Winter Night to be:
Blighted Winter Night: A shadow is cast on the land for a week. A small contained black hole can be created in the shadowed land that decimates anything nearby before violently exploding. Voriskimaar lives long enough to decide where the hole happens only, and if no choice is made within the first few minutes the black hole forms in the center and his life is taken for the ability regardless. The black hole decimates anything nearby, before violently exploding and releasing a number of "Shadowkin" equal to the dead killed. While some of these Shadowkin survive until the end of the week some dissipate over time and others are killed. After the shadowey influence ends, the land is still tainted for many years to come.
Right, that's everything! Let me know if you need any help or have any questions, he's coming along great :D
Can you elaborate a bit more on what his childhood was like? How his upbringing was not the best, or what happened to his parents if they were still there. I'm guessing the scarring in his appearance section happened while guarding the caravan, or was it sometime else?
Skills:
Skillslot 2: Pick either skilled with a blade or skilled with a spear, each weapon mastery requires one slot.
Skillslot 3: Pick either hunting or foraging
other then that looking great, excellent :D
Abilities:
Ok so you designed your CS before there were examples but I'm really happy to help come up with stuff as things are pretty powerful atm :D
Shadow form is more of an Ability 2/Potency 1 level ability (Rimguage has something similar if you need a comparison) so you'll need to move this up.
Shadow fiends is too powerful for the slot. Summoning extra units to aid you is a more late a large number of capable/powerful soldiers is a tier 3 level ability.
Possible Ability 1 examples might be things like seeing in the dark, dimming nearby lights or making shadows longer despite the time of day, making someone feel as if they are being watched, making shadows take the shape of other things, inspire light sciophobia in a target for a short period of time.
Shadow blade can either be bumped up to a 2:3 / slot 6 placement or you can weaken it a bit so it's just a normal weapon summon.
Shadow lance is fine :D
Shadow Ogre: Vorikimaar can summon a large shadowey entity to his aid. This large beast responds to Vorikimaar's commands to protect and destroy.
While it is really cool, I'm removing "gain extra potency // 70% lifeforce cost" bonus to his abilities. Potencies cannot be increased or cost reduced, simply due to the fact that it's too difficult for me to balance that against everyone else's character powers and the world. The roleplay revolves around the ability system as it is made currently and I would have to go through and re-adjust everything to suit the extra potency/lifeforce cost, which would also set a precedent for other players as well.
As it is this makes every one of his abilities 30% more powerful then all other characters on top of the extra potency, which can't really be quantified. In total that basically means as a character he is 630% more powerful then he should be, and that's not taking into account that all his powers become more dangerous as well. You're looking at a character 10x more powerful then other gods and the world as well, so it's just not something that I can give the go ahead on in it's current state.
Without the stipend your Ability 3 "A shadow upon the land" and "the passing of the moon" are pretty weak. So you can either bump one of those down to a tier 2 and replace these two slots with something with a bit more oomph.
Adjust Blighted Winter Night to be:
Blighted Winter Night: A shadow is cast on the land for a week. A small contained black hole can be created in the shadowed land that decimates anything nearby before violently exploding. Voriskimaar lives long enough to decide where the hole happens only, and if no choice is made within the first few minutes the black hole forms in the center and his life is taken for the ability regardless. The black hole decimates anything nearby, before violently exploding and releasing a number of "Shadowkin" equal to the dead killed. While some of these Shadowkin survive until the end of the week some dissipate over time and others are killed. After the shadowey influence ends, the land is still tainted for many years to come.
Right, that's everything! Let me know if you need any help or have any questions, he's coming along great :D
@luckofthedraw Up next we have *drumroll* Mado! Let's take a look.
Hider name is mispelled as "Moda" :D
What sort of clothing does he tend to wear?
Is Vodahil a Dark God or a normal God? There's usually a tag under the God's
Name/Type/Gender/Sexuality that shows if they're a Dark God. Just confirming no tag there is intended.
One extra thing for his history: How did Vodahil end up getting sent down into the Mortal Realm as a human? Was he tricked or did he go willingly? Did he escape or did he choose it himself?
Skills:
Ok so 3 general skills, 2 combat and one survival. Just to confirm are his combat skills tortured/partners and I'm not sure which of his skills is survival-based? Is that "Forgotten"?
Also: Considering his background I'm not sure about Hope of the Lost. I don't think he's really been in a position of leadership previously. I'll let you keep it if it's something you really like for him, but perhaps just mention something in his backstory about one such time he inspired leadership? Or change it if you prefer.
Silence: Mado can drown out the noise around him for ten minutes. The very being of noise ceases.
I like No Boundaries but it has combat applications for avoiding damage, so bump it up to a Ability 2 2nd/3rd slot :D
Unknowable: Full blown complacency/insanity is probably more a tier 3 ability. You could either have something like "Victim becomes subdued, unsure of themselves and thoughtful, though any physical pain or strong emotions might rowse them"
There are No Friends: too powerful/easy to abuse xD You could swap your lifeforce with someone, reduce your lifeforce down low, and swap back. Basically preventing them from roleplaying xD Something else for this slot perhaps, pretty please ^^
I like the bonding mechanic though, so perhaps we can make it so that if you're bonded with a person, abilities you have (e.g. healing, strengthening, speed) influence them more then other people.
Untouchable will need to be more defined, here are some examples of what you could do.
You can reword it to this and keep it as it is:
Mado loses his ability to feel pain for up to ten minutes. He has no penalty for receiving injuries during combat and does not tire, though after the ability ends these wounds catch up with him all at once.
This version could be in your slot 4 or 5 (second ability slot 1 or 2):
Mado loses all emotion, understanding and any emotion he has built up for people or things fall away for twenty minutes. He is immune to emotional manipulation while this is active.
or you could have something like this at slot 7 as a more powerful ability:
Mado loses all emotion, understanding and any emotion he has built up for people or things fall away permanently. He can use this to purge mental afflictions and can use this ability on others as well.
The number Zero needs some adjustments so it doesn't pool together willpower stores, and it's better at the Ability 3 potency 2 slot:
The Number Zero: Mado can become partially one with a bonded immortal. They are in a mental link together and can gain smaller bonuses from each other's usual skills, as well as accessing each other's memories, hopes, fears and dreams if they both volunteer that access.
So if you switch it with Nearing the Breaking Point it should be fine.
Speaking of Nearing the Breaking Point, he can have the superspeed but not the soul-instakill xD
And Absolute Nothingness is fine :D
Thanks for the submission! Let me or Melo know if you need any help with anything :D
What sort of clothing does he tend to wear?
Is Vodahil a Dark God or a normal God? There's usually a tag under the God's
Name/Type/Gender/Sexuality that shows if they're a Dark God. Just confirming no tag there is intended.
One extra thing for his history: How did Vodahil end up getting sent down into the Mortal Realm as a human? Was he tricked or did he go willingly? Did he escape or did he choose it himself?
Skills:
Ok so 3 general skills, 2 combat and one survival. Just to confirm are his combat skills tortured/partners and I'm not sure which of his skills is survival-based? Is that "Forgotten"?
Also: Considering his background I'm not sure about Hope of the Lost. I don't think he's really been in a position of leadership previously. I'll let you keep it if it's something you really like for him, but perhaps just mention something in his backstory about one such time he inspired leadership? Or change it if you prefer.
Silence: Mado can drown out the noise around him for ten minutes. The very being of noise ceases.
I like No Boundaries but it has combat applications for avoiding damage, so bump it up to a Ability 2 2nd/3rd slot :D
Unknowable: Full blown complacency/insanity is probably more a tier 3 ability. You could either have something like "Victim becomes subdued, unsure of themselves and thoughtful, though any physical pain or strong emotions might rowse them"
There are No Friends: too powerful/easy to abuse xD You could swap your lifeforce with someone, reduce your lifeforce down low, and swap back. Basically preventing them from roleplaying xD Something else for this slot perhaps, pretty please ^^
I like the bonding mechanic though, so perhaps we can make it so that if you're bonded with a person, abilities you have (e.g. healing, strengthening, speed) influence them more then other people.
Untouchable will need to be more defined, here are some examples of what you could do.
You can reword it to this and keep it as it is:
Mado loses his ability to feel pain for up to ten minutes. He has no penalty for receiving injuries during combat and does not tire, though after the ability ends these wounds catch up with him all at once.
This version could be in your slot 4 or 5 (second ability slot 1 or 2):
Mado loses all emotion, understanding and any emotion he has built up for people or things fall away for twenty minutes. He is immune to emotional manipulation while this is active.
or you could have something like this at slot 7 as a more powerful ability:
Mado loses all emotion, understanding and any emotion he has built up for people or things fall away permanently. He can use this to purge mental afflictions and can use this ability on others as well.
The number Zero needs some adjustments so it doesn't pool together willpower stores, and it's better at the Ability 3 potency 2 slot:
The Number Zero: Mado can become partially one with a bonded immortal. They are in a mental link together and can gain smaller bonuses from each other's usual skills, as well as accessing each other's memories, hopes, fears and dreams if they both volunteer that access.
So if you switch it with Nearing the Breaking Point it should be fine.
Speaking of Nearing the Breaking Point, he can have the superspeed but not the soul-instakill xD
And Absolute Nothingness is fine :D
Thanks for the submission! Let me or Melo know if you need any help with anything :D
@Thecrash20 Yeah the CS is basically 2 CS's in one so I understand your pain XD Take as long as you need, don't burn yourself out before the RP even starts.
What sort of clothes does he tend to wear?
Oh excellent! Are you making a new Clan? If you give me a brief description of it I'll add it up to the Clan page for people to use.
@Apokalipse I love how you've gone for an unusual concept :D Really creepy exerpt, I love it <3
Sounds like her and Raydark would get along xD
@13org Right so, if I remember correctly, the sheet was still under review. So let me take a look at it again for you :D
Glad to see the physical descriptions of her attire :D
Would you like to make a clan description for Nana's old clan and I can add it to the list :D I see there are extensive references to their culture, history and how they handle succession, it's likely they would be known, even if you will be breaking the news of their deaths IC.
Also does she currently have a position in Craenak and what is it if she is? I'm guessing it's Walküre but wanted to confirm, or if she's going to make her own Clan once she gets to the gathering.
Ok so for her skills: 2 combat 1 survival 3 general, general skills can also be survival skills but general skills cannot be combat skills and survival skills cannot be combat skills.
At the moment I would say:
Perfect warrior, spear master, endurance and flexibility are more all combat based, so pick the two you want and think up some more general skills. Flexibility could pass as a general skill if you make it more about gymnastics/contortion/ect.
I think you missed the previous round of updates for her abilities so here they are again:
Úlfheðinn's Might: Nanna enters a bloodlust state, toughening her body for battle
Spearmaiden's Lunge: Either she moves superbly fast, or her spear is more likely to hit.
Walküre's Bloodlust: The presence of a Walküre on the battlefield can unsettle her enemies. Some enemies made be feared, while other hardened enemies only unsettled by her presence.
Yggdrasil's Dew: Can you be more specific about how you imagine this ability works? Many other characters have a spirit summoning ability at their strongest ability level, so perhaps this can be a distract, illusion or ensnare type ability :3
What I thought is: spirits of those who were denied an honorable death are summoned to the earth once more, restraining their foes and possibly causing mental damage (they are not the warriors who died honorably... they are the rejected ones. Soo..... yup, they're pretty messed up. Think about wraiths (the spirits))
Yggdrasil's Blessing: She can cure minor/moderate wounds to one person, with more serious injuries requiring more lifeforce to fully heal. If the wound is fully healed, the character feels invigorated for a while.
Contract with Yggdrasil: Again I forgot to explain it better. Ignore all defensive magic or magic with purpose of stopping her spear. not suddenly turn all magic unneffective. Gungnir was said as the spear who was able to pierce everything
3-6 are good :D
So for Gungnir: I was interpretting this as your spear becomes Gungnir and can only have one of the abilities at once. Or do you mean Gungnir is summoned? In which case that needs to be mentioned in the abilities.
Would you like to make a clan description for Nana's old clan and I can add it to the list :D I see there are extensive references to their culture, history and how they handle succession, it's likely they would be known, even if you will be breaking the news of their deaths IC.
Also does she currently have a position in Craenak and what is it if she is? I'm guessing it's Walküre but wanted to confirm, or if she's going to make her own Clan once she gets to the gathering.
Ok so for her skills: 2 combat 1 survival 3 general, general skills can also be survival skills but general skills cannot be combat skills and survival skills cannot be combat skills.
At the moment I would say:
Perfect warrior, spear master, endurance and flexibility are more all combat based, so pick the two you want and think up some more general skills. Flexibility could pass as a general skill if you make it more about gymnastics/contortion/ect.
I think you missed the previous round of updates for her abilities so here they are again:
Úlfheðinn's Might: Nanna enters a bloodlust state, toughening her body for battle
Spearmaiden's Lunge: Either she moves superbly fast, or her spear is more likely to hit.
Walküre's Bloodlust: The presence of a Walküre on the battlefield can unsettle her enemies. Some enemies made be feared, while other hardened enemies only unsettled by her presence.
Yggdrasil's Dew: Can you be more specific about how you imagine this ability works? Many other characters have a spirit summoning ability at their strongest ability level, so perhaps this can be a distract, illusion or ensnare type ability :3
What I thought is: spirits of those who were denied an honorable death are summoned to the earth once more, restraining their foes and possibly causing mental damage (they are not the warriors who died honorably... they are the rejected ones. Soo..... yup, they're pretty messed up. Think about wraiths (the spirits))
Yggdrasil's Blessing: She can cure minor/moderate wounds to one person, with more serious injuries requiring more lifeforce to fully heal. If the wound is fully healed, the character feels invigorated for a while.
Contract with Yggdrasil: Again I forgot to explain it better. Ignore all defensive magic or magic with purpose of stopping her spear. not suddenly turn all magic unneffective. Gungnir was said as the spear who was able to pierce everything
3-6 are good :D
So for Gungnir: I was interpretting this as your spear becomes Gungnir and can only have one of the abilities at once. Or do you mean Gungnir is summoned? In which case that needs to be mentioned in the abilities.
@Sarcelle Renard Pretty subtle adjustments to the human form but they read really nice. I really like the adjusted God biography :D
got tired of the strong memory ;D? Rudimentary Craftsmanship is a good skill though :D
If you want feel free to remove the limitations on both Capricious Gale and Skyward, feel free. They're pretty tame for the slots they're in. Remove the distance from skyward and replace it with flight he can call on for up to an hour :D
@ihinka don't worry at all about the numbers, we'll sort all those out at the end.
EDIT: sorry I'll review now woops!
Right I'll be adding Longear up to the Clan list as well.
PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO MAKE CLANS guys! This is a collaborative project in alot of ways <3
GM
Mae Crayola
Member
Seen
15 hrs ago
@Angel Eyes so have you made a decision on who you'll be playing :D? New or the old characters?
luckofthedraw You're Storying Wrong
Member
Seen
7 yrs ago
@Mae Thanks for the suggestions. A lot to mull through... but I suppose that makes sense for the god I chose (it's difficult when you literally have NOTHING to work with :D). As for Near the Breaking Point, I didn't really mean for the soul stealing to be an insta-kill, perhaps I put less value into the human soul then I need for this RP. Thanks!
EDIT: And as for his alignment, It seems to me he is more of a feral beast then really a 'dark' god. So I'm not going to put him as one if that makes sense. He doesn't really have bad intentions... because he doesn't really have any intentions as a god of nothing. But, yeah, at first he was a dark god, but I flipped halfway through, as he is more of a grey god...
EDIT: And as for his alignment, It seems to me he is more of a feral beast then really a 'dark' god. So I'm not going to put him as one if that makes sense. He doesn't really have bad intentions... because he doesn't really have any intentions as a god of nothing. But, yeah, at first he was a dark god, but I flipped halfway through, as he is more of a grey god...
Leos Klien A gun to kill the past.
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
GM
Mae Crayola
Member
Seen
15 hrs ago
@luckofthedraw yeah I'm very sorry about the intensity of the CS for one of your early roleplays here xD The good news is once it's all done you really don't need to touch the abilities ever again!
@ihinka Here you go!
@ihinka Here you go!
A Leaf On The Wind: Blaine can use this ability to instill a person with a moment of inner peace and grant them reprieve from the effects of angst, stress and sorrow. It can also cause a moment of calmness within an antagonistic character, dissuading them from their negative endeavors. However this influence cannot combat strong convictions, emotions or motivations if the person does not wish to be influenced.
Open your eye is really creative and I think it'll be good fun IC, well done :D
At the moment Harmonic Resonance, the 2nd tier moderate abilities, are too powerful because they have too many effects rolled into one ability slot. So have a think about what you really want to convey with those and refine them into one type of ability. You could even just take some of the abilities 4-5, and make them stand alone in their own right in slots 4, 5 and 6 quite comfortably!
Threefold: Add a timelimit: 9 days
Also the way this will work is they'll get a dice modifier for good situations/actions and a modifier for bad situations/actions. Just wanted to make it clear how it works in practice :D
Death is only the beginning: Does this only affect one person?
Open your eye is really creative and I think it'll be good fun IC, well done :D
At the moment Harmonic Resonance, the 2nd tier moderate abilities, are too powerful because they have too many effects rolled into one ability slot. So have a think about what you really want to convey with those and refine them into one type of ability. You could even just take some of the abilities 4-5, and make them stand alone in their own right in slots 4, 5 and 6 quite comfortably!
Threefold: Add a timelimit: 9 days
Also the way this will work is they'll get a dice modifier for good situations/actions and a modifier for bad situations/actions. Just wanted to make it clear how it works in practice :D
Death is only the beginning: Does this only affect one person?
Sarcelle Renard How I handle deadlines
Member
Seen
4 yrs ago
@Mae Glad you like the changes! I personally feel like this is a much more interesting iteration of the god and helps explain why he has such a detached relationship with mortals. And my main grip with Strong Memory was that it simply didn't feel like it would translate well into RP mechanics, so I decided to ditch it for a skill that I felt Feir should definitely have.
Anyway, the CS has been updated. Am I good to throw him into the Character Tab?
Anyway, the CS has been updated. Am I good to throw him into the Character Tab?
luckofthedraw You're Storying Wrong
Member
Seen
7 yrs ago
^I've moved Forgotten and made it the survival skill, which I think makes a bit more sense. While I moved Empty to just a regular skill. My idea for Hope of the Lost, I now realize, is flawed. I built that one off of his god-personality instead of his own. Which is probably where I messed up. Made changes accordingly. Now has the skill "hopeless".
© 2007-2024