You can't say that in public!!!

[Ahe Gao]

I thought it'd be fun to share your best inappropriate jokes. Only one per post though. Can't have some joke whore hogging all the good ones.

I'll go first with a classic:

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
>
>
>
>
"GhhGK!!"

[NotFish]

I'd make a joke about lynching gay people, but that'd bit a bit of a low hanging fruit.

[Azure Flame]

Why can't a blonde count to 70? They can't get past 69

[Ahe Gao]

How do you circumcise a Lannister?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

[Blubaron45]

"Give me some of your time when I'm lonely, you're my dear companion. Give me food when I am starved, you're my best friend. Give me shelter when I have none, you've become family to me. Give me sex after marriage, you're my cousin."

-Probably most of Pakistan

[Mistiel]

What happened when the lumberjack backed up into his woodchipper?

He got a little behind in his work.

[Ahe Gao]

Come on guys, this is weak sauce.

Why are there no pregnant Barbie Dolls?

Because Ken came in another box.

[Mistiel]

A vegetarian lady once tried to sue some guy for sexual harassment, but he claimed he'd never seen herbivore.

[Tyler Night]

Did you hear about the man who took viagra for a headache?

His headache went away but he got a stiff neck.

[Jurassic Weeb]

@Tyler Night I think you're talking about Bill Clinton there, buddy.

What comes after 69?

Answer

Mouthwash

[Bishop]

I read a funny one
1:Is Google male or female?
2:Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

[Ahe Gao]

What is 6.9?

Something fun ruined by a period.

[Bishop]

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

[Nevix]

I like my women like I like my coffee beans.

Transported from South America in a burlap sack.

[Jurassic Weeb]

I'm pretty f*cking tired of Overwatch being everywhere. *prepares to be shot*

[Ahe Gao]

@Otaku95 Weak joke.

What's the difference between Chickpea and Garbanzo Bean?

You wouldn't pay $100 to have a Garbanzo Bean on your face.

[Nevix]

I added Paul Walker on Xbox, but he just spends all his time on the Dashboard.

[Mistiel]

What's the best defense a human brain can conjure up?

Tourettes.

[Carmine Celica]

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF File.

[Leaves]

My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said that's a pretty big word for a 5-year old.