Microfiction&Poetry contest #2 - voting and feedback

[Loksfjoer]

Welcome to the Voting and Feedback round for MFP#2!

Voting and Feedback guidelines

• Please take your time to read through all the entries before voting for your favourite work. The reasons you base your vote on are up to you, as long the vote isn’t based on whether or not you like the author.
  It would be nice if you could share why you voted for a specific work.
• Giving feedback is optional but highly encouraged. When giving feedback you should be respectful and constructive. It’s good to point out any flaws, the things you feel could be improved or why you didn't like something, but don’t be mean.
  Make sure to point out what you liked or what appreciated in the entry too.
• Contestant may and are encouraged to vote for and give feedback for the other entries, but don’t vote for your own entry. If contestants wish to withhold a vote and only give feedback, that is good too.
• The entries are anonymous unless the writer asked for having their name added. That being said, writers may claim their work at any time during or after the voting period.
• The entry with the most votes will win, but in case of a tie a Contest Mod will cast the tie-breaker vote.
• You can vote for entries and post your feedback in this thread, but if you rather have your vote and/or feedback be anonymous you can PM it to @Calle.
• The voting period deadline is September 21th, 9:00 CET, which is 7:00 game time (both times are in a.m.).

---

The Entries

Stars

<sub>Stars

Swirling in the sky,
Bright, like candles, guiding through the night —
We fall… into the evening veil,
Grasping the memories of your light,
And there you are again, twinkling and shy.</sub>

Hood of shadow

Pink is not orange, but it is green.
X-treme, or not to x-treme? Why 'woe' can be spectral although a halo can not. Therefore it's silver, blue, but not hollow.

Harrowing gets the meadow, like the quantum vectors of a Space-Mercenary defending a Maiden, our Ladies, THE Princess! Queens need just state and a Ranger is borne.

Of the swords pledge to chop dragon flame into two jets sporadical, gut the neck, slash and kill it. And aim virtues each arrow towards an eye by the bys.

Interstellar

Oh look to the heavens and despair,
Stare into the emptiness from below,
No distant beauty that was never there,
Fair stars which burned out long ago,

They who once had shined so bright,
Night must come to follow every day,
May stars guide us by their dying light,
Might we too soon lose our way,

Centuries traveled to reach the eye,
Why journey forth as distant memories,
Sentries blinking hung upon painted sky,
Die then in your cosmic serenity,

One by one winks out each star,
Far fates destined to be undone,
None remain reaps the repertoire,
Are certain ends which had begun,

Trust in them who are gone,
Spawn ripples as they combust,
Just as from them we live on,
Dawns a new star from the dust.

"The Stars"

The grass was cool under my skin while gazing up into what could very well be perceived as the heavens. Symbols and pictographs danced amongst the sky, changing, evolving into something so much more wonderful than our minds could ever comprehend. But what are they, those tiny dots of light that I swear are looking down on me as I return an expression of awe. To count them would take more time than could ever be given in our fleeting existence. But to know and understand them, however, could bring so much wisdom in such a short life. Science will tell you that they are merely “balls of gas held together by their own gravity”, and while that may be true, who is to say that they are not so much more?

Beyond their makeup, I see the mighty “wardens”; beings tasked to observe and protect the universe. To preserve its very essence and purity of the wilds in which humanity has systematically repressed and destroyed over countless millennia. But even these billions of guardians, full of light, vibrancy, and resolve to follow their lifelong directives are slowly being snuffed out. A glow that shone so brightly throughout eternity, but had been forgotten over time in our finite minds.

Humanity had better things to think about: Ourselves.

So quickly were the stars dismissed as anything but what textbooks and media told us they should be. And they all took notice and wept as each day another light which had proudly lit a path in the cosmos, faded and eventually fizzled out of existence. No more were they concerned about protecting the planet, but rather wondering if they would live to light another night.

What is seen now as I look up towards the darkened sky, are the lost souls of children desperately searching for a purpose once again. Their luminescence only visible as a reminder of what they once were.

by @Hellion

Written in the stars

He was alone with stars, the sand, and the ocean waves. Even the moon had hidden itself that night, there were only stars in the sky, and when he looked down they reflected off blackness of the ocean. For each constellation he could name the figures and the stories he saw in them. What was drawn in the stars was the only thing that all could see equally, it lived on after men had died and whole nations had crumbled.

As a boy he looked at the stars every night to see if they ever changed. The philosophers had told him that no man had ever seen a new shape in the sky, though they shift and move with the seasons and choose to hide or reveal themselves, the tapestry of the heavens remains unchanged. Every story of the gods painting a new persona in the sky happened so long ago no one could say the number of years that had passed; it troubled even the wisest scholars, and they debated whether it was that none were worthy of the honor or if the age of such honors had passed.

As a young man, before he was due to lead his first army into battle, his father took him to the tombs of those who had come before. He looked at the memorial carvings, inspecting each one, even those where he years had obliterated the work and made it unintelligible. All those revealed was that there was there was once something worth remembering that had been lost to time. That night he looked at the stars again and made a vow to leave his record in a place where it would never fade; if he had to fight and conquer until all the world was his to be deemed worthy, he would do just that.

In the present, on the beach, he was lying on his back in the sand, ignoring any thoughts about how to address his men the next day. He was one man among the grains of sand, the infinite, indistinguishable mass, so many that he told himself no number could describe the quantity of it all. To lose one or a thousand to the ocean was to lose nothing, all remained as it was. Decades later, after the death of that conqueror and the crumbling of his empire, a learned man would come to that same beach and find a flaw in his reasoning. If even one grain occupied space, then must be a number that would represent enough grains to fill all of the creation to the stars above. That number was among the many of his calculations that survived even though no account of his life did. Neither the conqueror nor the mathematician hang in the sky today, and yet both are remembered. Who is remembered more is an unanswered question.

[Loksfjoer]

A total of six entries had been send in, but one was not added to the voting round because it exceeded the maximum word count of 500 with 146 words.

[BrokenPromise]

When your weekend is Sunday/Monday, and you're busy Sunday.

Oh well, my story about progressive "movie" stars probably wouldn't have been appreciated by most. But onto the people who actually set aside time to join this thing!

Writing short like this isn't my specialty, so yea, be ready for that.

Stars: I liked it. The cadence came through for me.

Hood of Shadow: It was interesting, even if it eludes my understanding.

Interstellar: A solid poem. "Repertoire" is not what I would pair with star, but the rest flowed beautifully.

The Stars: Interesting concept. It didn't have a lot of colorful language, but the point came across.

Written in the Stars: Good story. It felt a bit condensed at the end. I'd love to read a longer version of it.

I think I'll vote for Interstellar.

[Zmija Sebastian]

I created "Hood of shadows".

I'll critique instead of voting.

"Stars" was short. Had it been longer I would have perhaps courtesyly voted.

"Interstellar" was transparant, and stagnant. Its length could of had some warm words, but I just see a droll thought pattern.

I don't like "The Stars" because it's just chaos. It had an earthly feel, almost barbarian, but it then instantly changed for the worse.

"Written in the Stars" couldn't beat mine even if they gave themselves a collumn to the title. It just left the present like it wasn't even voyaging. Like they never roleplayed truethfully, or had a friend.

[Maglar]

Really Beautiful entries, the writers of these works should be proud. It's sad that there can only be one winner.

I'm voting the first one, "Stars," something about it triggers playful feelings like playing peek-a-boo with a baby.

[BangoSkank]

I particularly liked Stars, Interstellar and The Stars.

I agree with Maglar, they're all good entries and it's sad only one can win, but for me that was "The Stars".

I liked Stars because it was quite short but felt complete if that makes sense. And as Maglar said it felt playful. If there were like a side award for doing the most with the least words this one would win it for sure. Great economy. Good as hell. Would like to see more from this writer please and thank you.

I liked Interstellar because it had several stanzas (if that's the right word) and I liked how they went together. Some of the verses had a sort of Edgar Allan Poe feel to them and I particularly like the last stanza, or series of four lines. That last stanza makes me want another few stanzas. Good shit. Again I hope you keep writing, this is good as hell and I like it and I want more please give me more.

My favorite though was The Stars. I like star gazing and it had an interesting sort of stream of consciousness aspect to it. Reminded me of the thought process of someone just looking up at the night sky. The turn then in to talking about them as sentient beings sort of was unexpected and I thought pretty damn cool. Sort of a reflection on the loss of the childish innocence of looking up at the sky with questions but not really looking for answers. Hit me in the feelie bits. Good stuff. Naturally I hope you keep writing. Keep writing yeah?

I hope Adder and whoever wrote "Written in the Stars" keep at it too.

"Hood of Shadow" was a bit odd to me, I don't think I really quite grasped it. I didn't get the opening part about "Pink is not orange, but it is green. X-treme, or not to x-treme?" although I assume it has something to do with the colors of a star. That part went over my head but I really liked the lines "Harrowing gets the meadow" and "Of the swords pledge to chop dragon flame into two jets sporadical". It's got some very unique vocabulary to it and that is pretty fucking cool man.

"Written in the Stars", to me, felt like it was caught between being a lovely short story and a lovely poem. I think it would work very well as either but just needs to be committed to one or the other OR you could do like a double post where you expand it into a short story and then try to cut it way down to a poem. Like instead of describing what the character does at all these points just describe a few scenes and let the reader read between the lines. That first paragraph could just be a boy, alone on a beach, staring up at a vast sky puzzling out ancient stories. Like a line in a poem as representing a single image rather than a story.

I don't know. That might not be that helpful. I really liked this entry too and whoever you are I'd like to see more stuff from you. I think you're going somewhere neat as fucks. Cheers man.

[Loksfjoer]

@reaping Adder Thank you for both joining the contest and take your time to critique the other works. I appreciate your contributions.

As a friendly reminder: critique should be constructive and respectful; it's the second bullet point in the guidelines.

It's okay to not like entries and to say that, but try to word it in a way that encourages the writer to continue writing. It's always appreciated when the feedback gives the writer something to work with so they can improve; even a simple explanation of what worked or didn't work helps, just try to be clear about it so the author can learn from it.
And never take a jab at the writer, don't make it personal.

A few things stood out and I would like to address them, but feel free to correct me if I misunderstood anything:

"It had an earthly feel, almost barbarian, but it then instantly changed for the worse.": although a very colourful and creative way to convey your feelings regarding the entry, this kind of feedback probably doesn't give the author much to work with to improve their writing. Any examples of what in the entry comes across as earthly or barbarian would make it more clear what exactly didn't work or why you thought it was this bad, also because worse than barbaric is a rather strong opinion to have for a story without barbarians in it.

"couldn't beat mine even if...": there is no accounting for taste; some people may enjoy the entry or even prefer it over yours. Of course it's good to take pride in your own work and you can certainly have and voice the opinion the entry wasn't good according to your preferences or criteria. Just remember to be respectful to other writers and that people can like different styles. A more neutral way to express this would be "I didn't like this, because...", which is perfectly fine to say.

"Like they never roleplayed truethfully, or had a friend.": Unless you were referring to the boy in the entry or the story itself and forgot to make that clear, you shouldn't say things like this in constructive feedback. Never make critique personal, okay?

Overall the review for Written in the Stars comes across as bashing instead of constructive to me and while it's perfectly fine to not like something, I'd rather not see bashing.

I hope this helps to understand the rule about feedback being respectful and constructive. I'm not asking to only say good things about an entry, that doesn't help the writer, but try to formulate the bad things in a way that it helps the writer understand where they went wrong. And again, thanks for taking the time to provide feedback. I hope you will join some of the future contests too.

---

Everyone: thanks for your votes and feedback so far. I'm sure it means a lot to the writers.
There are still 6 days left for voting and feedback :)

[Roach]

Quick 'n dirty votes with brief reviews this time:

Stars ––

A sweet poem about the stars with good flow and imagery (in particularevening veilrings quite nicely). The rhyming scheme is on the straightforward side which isn't a detriment in this case because of the short length. I could imagine it in a children's book of rhymes, but, like, the good kind.

I also appreciate the attention to visual aesthetic by structuring it as a star-shape, which is quite a clever idea; however, I have to admit, my dumbass half-asleep brain thought it was an Illuminati triangle.

Hood of Shadow ––

Abstaining from reviewing this one because I don't really know what's going on here.

Interstellar ––

This poem displays good vocabulary and has occasional moments of clear, vivid imagery – notably sentries blinking – and it manages to stick to a rhyme scheme all the way through, which is no small feat. However, rhyme is only one small part of poetry (and heck, a whole lot of poetry doesn't rhyme!) and I can't help but feel that this ABAB/CDCD/etc. monotone holds it back and obscures the meaning and cadence of the piece.

Some pairings feel like they rely too much on a rhyming dictionary pressed into service, such as star/repertoire and memories/serenity. This not only results in lines that are difficult to parse, such as the alliterative but confusing none remain reaps the repertoire but also seems to be causing some clunky grammatical structures (or at least emphasizes what is already there).

Those that stuck out to me weretrust in them who are gone('them' feels like it should be 'they' or 'those'?) andNight must come to follow every daywhich just... doesn't have a good mouthfeel. I'm no expert in poetry but for me, reading this poem out loud is very difficult because of the lack of engagement with metre.

The Stars ––

A good piece that takes the prompt at face value. I think the paragraph describing them as 'wardens' has some of the nicest imagery, although I hesitate to call it 'nice' if only because it verges on the depressing. Humans suck, I guess!

One thing that stands out upon a reread are some tense inconsistencies. Between the opening few sentences and the rest of the paragraph. I don't think this necessarily a flaw in such a short piece – in fact, switching tenses from past to present could be used for greater dramatic effect – but in this case with such an introspective work, the navel-gazing may come across better in present tense, which a lot of the rest of the piece already seems to be in? Eg. "The grass is cool under my skin while gazing up into what could very well be perceived as the heavens. Symbols and pictographs dance amongst the sky, changing, evolving into something so much more wonderful than our minds could ever comprehend."

Written in the Stars ––

This is by far my favourite piece out of the entries. It is technically sound, with tight prose fitting together in a compelling narrative which is careful to avoid waffling. I found myself returning to this piece again because it fits in with the theme of stars but does not resort to simply running through superficial connotations, instead using them as a symbol for legacy and memory. The subtle, indirect comparisons between one star in the sky to one grain of sand on a beach to one man in an army about to go to war is very compelling because of its thoughtful craftsmanship.

If I have one "complaint" with this piece it's that the last paragraph is maybe a bit... smushed together. A paragraph break between the conqueror's thoughts and the 'decades later' would smooth over a bump where the characters blended together after the second one is introduced, though that too could be interesting if intentional, so this is just personal preference/nitpicking. This is some tasty professional writing.

My vote goes to Written in the Stars.

[Zmija Sebastian]

@Calle that'd have worked in person, I'd just need to hear them back. But personal wasn't happening. I guess I can just find something cheery about new contestants work and vote simply. Or just contend, thanks.

[The Grey Dust]

Some terrible reviews.
Best taken with a grain of salt.
I will abstain from voting at this time.

Stars ––

Short and sweet, succinct but substantive.

The one qualm I would have is the use of the ellipsis to break the tempo after the line break.
On one hand it is effective to demonstrate the length of pause, but it is jarring to have the break so early in the new line.
The previous line has an aside which already offers a choppiness to the poem, as such in six lines there are 4 incidental pause which disrupt the flow. If this was intentional, then well done, however I wonder if this could have been formatted or written without the pauses. Or if it was done as such to create visual art in the poem as well similar to the other first entry of the first poetry contest.

Hood of Shadow ––

This is almost a word salad with threads of barest comprehension.

As I cannot begin to comprehend who would comprehend this submission, this critique cannot be so fairly justified. However, because this is the case, I would have to question the writer's objective in submitting this. Specifically speaking, what is the intent behind the writing? Is it to be pointedly so esoteric there is no general understanding to this stream-of-consciousness style of random thoughts? That is to say, the writer is writing not for an audience but for themselves as a therapeutic rambling? Wherein we as readers are given insights into the madness of the mind at work in some sort of cosmic horror sort of way? Or is there some concept the writer failed to capture thus will fail to elicit from reader? If the former, then there are ways to do so coherently and introduce such objective such that we can understand the point of the writing. If the latter, then perhaps the writer has failed and needs to either improve or to choose a different approach.

Interstellar ––

Some good points, some flaws, feels like a poem which is attempting many different styles.

ABAB CDCD rhymescheme, no strict meter. Some Slant rhyme in there, possible the one most shoehorned is Repertoire. Although it works in the alliterative sense, the syllable count may be too much to afford such a word choice. Grammatically there is some clumsiness, such as "trust in them who are gone" in lieu of "They who are gone" although in poetic sense using them implicitly breaks the line into two phrases without punctuation so it may work. Interesting wordplay with Sentries and Centuries, They and Day. The last line of the third stanza is reminiscent of the villanelle from the last poetry contest. The vaulta does leave one wishing for one more as it leave the ending feel completed but also incomplete as it suggests a new beginning rather than a complete end.

The Stars ––

Reflective passive thoughts, good insight and commentary on various things, seems caught between prose and poetry.

The passiveness of the piece detracts a bit from wanting more. While there is good discussion on humans, understanding, and knowledge. Yet it is a piece in pure rumination, there is nothing actively engaging the reader in a sense. It offers only the thoughts of the narrator as they look upon something, which is great in some aspects, but can be droll as a short story. Furthermore, the line: "But what are they, those tiny dots of light that I swear are looking down on me as I return an expression of awe." appears to be missing something, either as a question posed or as an observation as the link between the two thoughts needs reconciliation. Similarly the timeline in the story needs to be addressed as past and present seem to merge in tense. There is also some clarification required in the penultimate paragraph. It is unclear what point of reference is being used as the word "They" is juxtaposed in the paragraph with "us", "textbooks and media", and "Stars" wherein are the stars worried about dying? Is science and the media now suddenly worried about stars dying? Are we (and thus the narrator) worried about stars dying? It would appear to be the stars which are worried taking the whole piece into consideration, as the narrator has earlier personified the stars. But I must ask if there is any satisfaction at the end as it gives me no sense of closure, no ending and we are left with the narrator still on the same place at the same time without having progressed any thoughts beyond what has already been suggested by the first few lines.

Written in the Stars ––

Good narrative, seems rather familiar in a mythic sense.

This reminds me of a scene from a movie wherein Achilles tells his men that immortality is waiting for them on the beaches of Troy. Or at least the night before where he would be writing his rousing rallying speech. Now add this to the other suggestion made wherein the story of the great Archimedes telling the solider who killed him to not erase the figures he drew in the sand, and both scenes play out. However while the conqueror was introduced and we as the reader are brought up long his life story, by glimpses into his past, the mathematician is almost an afterthought as a foil to the conqueror. True the piece states no account of his life was remembered, but it also did not state the importance of the figure's figures and numbers. What would have been interesting was to scaffold the mathematician's formulae and teachings, equations perhaps useful for war and battle, or even inventions using mathematic principles within the conqueror's story wherein introduces the mathematician character earlier such that the contrasting ideologies are given equal spotlight such that the message of 'legacy' arrives with a more resounding impact.

[Salenea]

Good job everyone, I enjoyed reading the entries.

I vote for Interstellar

Of all the entries I liked Interstellar best. It has a nice flow and is very colourful and poetic. I love how it ends on a positive note.

Stars is a very close second, short, sweet and poetic but the — & ... made me prefer Interstellar over Stars.

The Stars& Written in the Stars both are a very nice concept.

I like how The Stars are wardens and the last sentence in the The Stars was really beautiful and speaks to me.

Written in the stars is a good narrative and I enjoyed reading it. Would make an awesome story or a ballad. I could hear a medieval minstrel sing it.

Hood of Shadows is interesting, the X-treme or not to X-treme feels very Shakespearian, but it's a bit chaotic. I can't really find what ties the sentences together and make it a whole.

[Loksfjoer]

The last 12 hours of the voting period has begun. Thank you to everyone who has voted so far.

[Loksfjoer]

The voting period has now closed. With a diverse set of entries, we had a diverse set of votes.

Stars, The Stars and Written In The Stars each got one vote, but the winner is Interstellar with 2 votes.

Interstellar will be added to the hall of fame soon.

I want to thank everyone who joined; I enjoyed reading your take on the prompt. And I want to thank the reviewers and voters too.

To give a sneak preview of what is to come:
In October there will be a new RPGC writing contest and even though the last art contest didn't go very well, I'm going to host a new one.
In November there will be no contest on the site as it is NaNoWriMo.
At the beginning of December there will be a microfiction and poetry contest again.
And we'll start the new year big with both an RPGC and an Art contest.

So keep an eye on the sidebar and the Writing Contest and Gallery subforums.

[Zmija Sebastian]

Some terrible reviews.
Best taken with a grain of salt.
I will abstain from voting at this time.

Stars ––

Short and sweet, succinct but substantive.

The one qualm I would have is the use of the ellipsis to break the tempo after the line break.
On one hand it is effective to demonstrate the length of pause, but it is jarring to have the break so early in the new line.
The previous line has an aside which already offers a choppiness to the poem, as such in six lines there are 4 incidental pause which disrupt the flow. If this was intentional, then well done, however I wonder if this could have been formatted or written without the pauses. Or if it was done as such to create visual art in the poem as well similar to the other first entry of the first poetry contest.

Hood of Shadow ––

This is almost a word salad with threads of barest comprehension.

As I cannot begin to comprehend who would comprehend this submission, this critique cannot be so fairly justified. However, because this is the case, I would have to question the writer's objective in submitting this. Specifically speaking, what is the intent behind the writing? Is it to be pointedly so esoteric there is no general understanding to this stream-of-consciousness style of random thoughts? That is to say, the writer is writing not for an audience but for themselves as a therapeutic rambling? Wherein we as readers are given insights into the madness of the mind at work in some sort of cosmic horror sort of way? Or is there some concept the writer failed to capture thus will fail to elicit from reader? If the former, then there are ways to do so coherently and introduce such objective such that we can understand the point of the writing. If the latter, then perhaps the writer has failed and needs to either improve or to choose a different approach.

Interstellar ––

Some good points, some flaws, feels like a poem which is attempting many different styles.

ABAB CDCD rhymescheme, no strict meter. Some Slant rhyme in there, possible the one most shoehorned is Repertoire. Although it works in the alliterative sense, the syllable count may be too much to afford such a word choice. Grammatically there is some clumsiness, such as "trust in them who are gone" in lieu of "They who are gone" although in poetic sense using them implicitly breaks the line into two phrases without punctuation so it may work. Interesting wordplay with Sentries and Centuries, They and Day. The last line of the third stanza is reminiscent of the villanelle from the last poetry contest. The vaulta does leave one wishing for one more as it leave the ending feel completed but also incomplete as it suggests a new beginning rather than a complete end.

The Stars ––

Reflective passive thoughts, good insight and commentary on various things, seems caught between prose and poetry.

The passiveness of the piece detracts a bit from wanting more. While there is good discussion on humans, understanding, and knowledge. Yet it is a piece in pure rumination, there is nothing actively engaging the reader in a sense. It offers only the thoughts of the narrator as they look upon something, which is great in some aspects, but can be droll as a short story. Furthermore, the line: "But what are they, those tiny dots of light that I swear are looking down on me as I return an expression of awe." appears to be missing something, either as a question posed or as an observation as the link between the two thoughts needs reconciliation. Similarly the timeline in the story needs to be addressed as past and present seem to merge in tense. There is also some clarification required in the penultimate paragraph. It is unclear what point of reference is being used as the word "They" is juxtaposed in the paragraph with "us", "textbooks and media", and "Stars" wherein are the stars worried about dying? Is science and the media now suddenly worried about stars dying? Are we (and thus the narrator) worried about stars dying? It would appear to be the stars which are worried taking the whole piece into consideration, as the narrator has earlier personified the stars. But I must ask if there is any satisfaction at the end as it gives me no sense of closure, no ending and we are left with the narrator still on the same place at the same time without having progressed any thoughts beyond what has already been suggested by the first few lines.

Written in the Stars ––

Good narrative, seems rather familiar in a mythic sense.

This reminds me of a scene from a movie wherein Achilles tells his men that immortality is waiting for them on the beaches of Troy. Or at least the night before where he would be writing his rousing rallying speech. Now add this to the other suggestion made wherein the story of the great Archimedes telling the solider who killed him to not erase the figures he drew in the sand, and both scenes play out. However while the conqueror was introduced and we as the reader are brought up long his life story, by glimpses into his past, the mathematician is almost an afterthought as a foil to the conqueror. True the piece states no account of his life was remembered, but it also did not state the importance of the figure's figures and numbers. What would have been interesting was to scaffold the mathematician's formulae and teachings, equations perhaps useful for war and battle, or even inventions using mathematic principles within the conqueror's story wherein introduces the mathematician character earlier such that the contrasting ideologies are given equal spotlight such that the message of 'legacy' arrives with a more resounding impact.

@The Grey Dust

[@The Grey Quite] Quite the spectrum you've encumbered. It thrilled me to read something unconformed. I, as my first contest with a chance of poetry, did just a first try. The beginning had been about a missed rivalry about favorite colors- then I gloomed it with my roleplay intrigue- a kind that needs to be Prince, not just 'swashbuckler'.

[Zmija Sebastian]

Good job everyone, I enjoyed reading the entries.

I vote for Interstellar

Of all the entries I liked Interstellar best. It has a nice flow and is very colourful and poetic. I love how it ends on a positive note.

Stars is a very close second, short, sweet and poetic but the — & ... made me prefer Interstellar over Stars.

The Stars& Written in the Stars both are a very nice concept.

I like how The Stars are wardens and the last sentence in the The Stars was really beautiful and speaks to me.

Written in the stars is a good narrative and I enjoyed reading it. Would make an awesome story or a ballad. I could hear a medieval minstrel sing it.

Hood of Shadows is interesting, the X-treme or not to X-treme feels very Shakespearian, but it's a bit chaotic. I can't really find what ties the sentences together and make it a whole.

@Salenea

@Salenea Thanks, I intended that. Yeah, I look at it as vsing words like 'woe' or 'wicked'. I try to be a black knight, but my ranger prestiging gets me complacent, and so .... And...so... Here it's happenstance. Fair thee well, thou Salenea.