I've spent an hour looking at this post. Pouring all over the incessant details. Typing this message up has been perhaps harder than any post I've done on this forum by far so I suppose I'll meander a bit before I get into the meat. It's a culmination of several things but the lion's share of that can be attributed to recent extenuating factors in my life alongside other reasons as well. This is not a hiatus. If life is a play, then, this act of my life is coming to a close and it's better to end on a proper denouement than an anti-climax. I must also admit there is a certain art in succinct goodbyes but I can't bear within me to perform rhetorical artistry. So, I'll suppose I'll start with a phrase.
Yahoo chats.
I suppose that was how I first discovered the world of play-by-post roleplaying back in 2014. Almost 10 years ago. I was 14, then. In retrospect, my life would take an entirely different route if I hadn't responded to that person on that day but lo behold, I did and look where it's led me today. I then went through several phases: RPNation, Iwaku, Reddit before I landed here on the Guild. This is by far the RP forum that I've stayed consistently on by far and I have struggled to understand why I stick by it all these years.
Its UI is janky, the number of members compared to other RP boards is low, BBcode support is low compared to other boards and there are a host of other issues with the Guild that numerous people have complained but upon reflection, I wager that it is the diversity of the community and the unique idiosyncracies of many members on here that have kept me attracted to this forum. Yes, if you measure by objective standards, other forums supersede the Guild but none of them have made an impact on me as an individual quite like this one. I will forever cherish the connections I have made here and what I've learned but this hobby just isn't sustainable for me anymore.
And it's led me through a foray of both great and bad, educational and propagandistic, fast and slow encounters with a multitude of individuals over the years. Approximately 6 years in fact. I'd like to take a moment to mention some of these people.
@Abstract Proxy - We've said all that there needs to be said between us. I consider you one of the most important people I've met on this forum over the last 5 years and you are perhaps the most wonderful writer I've ever met. We joked before about RP hiatuses and looks I'm going to be taking the biggest one out of both of us by far.
@AndyC - I enjoyed the last few months blasting mechs with a tank. Sorry I couldn't keep up with the IC.
@Opposition - I'm sorry I couldn't give OD and DD justice. If and when the RP was completed, I would end their arcs with A Real Hero but alas, it didn't pan out the way it did.
@Master Bruce - I think one of my first group RPs here was the Ultimate DC/Marvel games you and Lord Wraith organised. I enjoyed playing Static and Shining Knight on every RP that the group organized. It gave me a real love for some of the underrated characters in those universes and made me realize my joy in roleplaying.
So, why am I doing this? I could blame it due to IRL factors but overall, roleplaying is not as fun as it used to be. I've voiced my frustrations over the years but roleplaying has become a chore rather than something I look forward to now. Recent events have caused me to re-evaluate my perspective on my hobbies and I will admit that the majority of the posts on this forum have been done under situations of duress rather than under relaxation. Perhaps, it is my perfectionist nature that is the foundation for the numerous writer's blocks I've had over the years but this is no longer the sustainable hobby I once had in my early years. Roleplaying for me takes more than it gives now. It is a tickbox on a list of weekend chores rather than something I could once do in my free time and bare my soul to the keyboard. It has become harder and harder for me to post consistently and harder and harder for me to perform as well as I could three years ago. I might have improved in skill and experience but my output has considerably declined. My academic and professional responsibilities have caught up to me as well. What is the point in pursuing an escapist hobby if what I escape to doesn't provide succor and comfort?
So, consider this my official, not to be repeated once more, retirement from roleplaying. I will be on the forum from time to time to take a look but it's the equivalent of parsing through a store window in the middle of a weekend stroll. I might write one or two things in the future if time permits me but in terms of the field of play-by-post roleplaying, this is the end. It is to my shame that I can never claim to have a completed RP but I suppose that is the final nail in the coffin for this post.
I will be on Discord as usual but not for the purposes of roleplaying. I am not completely abandoning the relationships I've made here but I can't engage in the self-destructive cycle of on-and-off engaging and abstaining I've imposed on myself anymore.
Hit me up on Discord but otherwise, this is the end of roleplaying for me in the foreseeable future.
I hope all of you continue to find success in your roleplays.
Yahoo chats.
I suppose that was how I first discovered the world of play-by-post roleplaying back in 2014. Almost 10 years ago. I was 14, then. In retrospect, my life would take an entirely different route if I hadn't responded to that person on that day but lo behold, I did and look where it's led me today. I then went through several phases: RPNation, Iwaku, Reddit before I landed here on the Guild. This is by far the RP forum that I've stayed consistently on by far and I have struggled to understand why I stick by it all these years.
Its UI is janky, the number of members compared to other RP boards is low, BBcode support is low compared to other boards and there are a host of other issues with the Guild that numerous people have complained but upon reflection, I wager that it is the diversity of the community and the unique idiosyncracies of many members on here that have kept me attracted to this forum. Yes, if you measure by objective standards, other forums supersede the Guild but none of them have made an impact on me as an individual quite like this one. I will forever cherish the connections I have made here and what I've learned but this hobby just isn't sustainable for me anymore.
And it's led me through a foray of both great and bad, educational and propagandistic, fast and slow encounters with a multitude of individuals over the years. Approximately 6 years in fact. I'd like to take a moment to mention some of these people.
@Abstract Proxy - We've said all that there needs to be said between us. I consider you one of the most important people I've met on this forum over the last 5 years and you are perhaps the most wonderful writer I've ever met. We joked before about RP hiatuses and looks I'm going to be taking the biggest one out of both of us by far.
@AndyC - I enjoyed the last few months blasting mechs with a tank. Sorry I couldn't keep up with the IC.
@Opposition - I'm sorry I couldn't give OD and DD justice. If and when the RP was completed, I would end their arcs with A Real Hero but alas, it didn't pan out the way it did.
@Master Bruce - I think one of my first group RPs here was the Ultimate DC/Marvel games you and Lord Wraith organised. I enjoyed playing Static and Shining Knight on every RP that the group organized. It gave me a real love for some of the underrated characters in those universes and made me realize my joy in roleplaying.
So, why am I doing this? I could blame it due to IRL factors but overall, roleplaying is not as fun as it used to be. I've voiced my frustrations over the years but roleplaying has become a chore rather than something I look forward to now. Recent events have caused me to re-evaluate my perspective on my hobbies and I will admit that the majority of the posts on this forum have been done under situations of duress rather than under relaxation. Perhaps, it is my perfectionist nature that is the foundation for the numerous writer's blocks I've had over the years but this is no longer the sustainable hobby I once had in my early years. Roleplaying for me takes more than it gives now. It is a tickbox on a list of weekend chores rather than something I could once do in my free time and bare my soul to the keyboard. It has become harder and harder for me to post consistently and harder and harder for me to perform as well as I could three years ago. I might have improved in skill and experience but my output has considerably declined. My academic and professional responsibilities have caught up to me as well. What is the point in pursuing an escapist hobby if what I escape to doesn't provide succor and comfort?
So, consider this my official, not to be repeated once more, retirement from roleplaying. I will be on the forum from time to time to take a look but it's the equivalent of parsing through a store window in the middle of a weekend stroll. I might write one or two things in the future if time permits me but in terms of the field of play-by-post roleplaying, this is the end. It is to my shame that I can never claim to have a completed RP but I suppose that is the final nail in the coffin for this post.
I will be on Discord as usual but not for the purposes of roleplaying. I am not completely abandoning the relationships I've made here but I can't engage in the self-destructive cycle of on-and-off engaging and abstaining I've imposed on myself anymore.
Hit me up on Discord but otherwise, this is the end of roleplaying for me in the foreseeable future.
I hope all of you continue to find success in your roleplays.
