[IC] DUNGEON CRAWL!!: The Stylized Dungeon Crawling Adventure Game

[Professor_Wyvern]

"Well comedy is part of my Handiwork. Oh! Hey uhm, on the subject of puns, does anyone know if Crystal is liking them?" Gabriel kept his attention on the Chef eying him as he kept on the defensive. Just because you are fighting a much stronger brute, doesn't mean you cannot stop to ask about the material. And now then back to thinking about how to win! he thought to himself.

[Descartes]

"Keep 'em comin' darlin'!" the barmaid replied, a tear in her eye. The chef appeared angry. Roaring, he raised his arms over his head and clasped his hands together. With them, he attempted to pound at Gabriel. "STOP FLIRTING WITH MY DAUGHTER HALF PINT!" he angrily yelled.

[Legion of TV Heads]

Neobullseye said
"Nice to meet you, Morthos," Lily answered. "And yes, Kenneth mentioned you. At least, I'm assuming you're the 'devilsh' one?" It was a bit of a needless question, seeing how the obvious question was quite literally staring her in the face, but still. who's tho say there wasn't an even more devilish devil walking around here somewhere?"As for those reasons... That's stupid," the sprite flatly said. "Why would you fight just for honour and respect? I mean, isn't winning the most important part? Plus, what if your opponent is not planning on playing fair either?" As of on cue, the chef took this moment to break the preset rules. "Hey, that's cheating!," Lily shouted when the chef kicked Gabriel, then revealed that his feet were technically hands. "Cheater! Can't you win this in a fair way?!," she continued, not caring one bit that technicallty speaking the rules weren't broken. In a fit of anger, the Sprite drew her weapon, quite ready to step in if even looked like the evil cheating jerk would break his word just one more time.

Gingerly, Rue plucked Lily with her index finger and thumb. "To interfere now would cause a small riot, which could turn deadly for all involved. Gabe knows what he's doing and has tangled with far worse than this fool. The best we can do is watch, wait and...Cheer." She inhaled and started shouting. "GIVE US THE PUNS!"

She released the sprite a moment later.

[Neobullseye]

"But... Meh, you're right," the Sprite grumbled. "...It's still cheating though," she added under her breath. Taking a deep breath, Lily lowered her weapon -- but not sheathing the staff quite yet, instead just letting the tip rest on the ground.
Having now at least calmed down a bit, the girl looked around to all three people who tried to stop her. "We don't want the entire village to come after us. That would be bad." she stated the obvious. "If he actually draws a weapon though, can we interfere then? Or, for that matter, if someone else decides that Cheaty McJerkface could use some help?"

[Legion of TV Heads]

"It will take more than a man pulling a weapon on Mr. Knotts for him to die. As for others trying to join in on this absurd melee...well as long as we're fighting the ones trying to interfere, we can hardly be accused of interfering, no?"

[Professor_Wyvern]

Gabriel smiled, "And I sha-" Gabriel quickly tumbled away from the incoming strike, "Jeez, I guess I really have an ARMFUL when it comes to dealing with you huh? I guess I need to KNUCKLE down." Gabriel threw a jab towards the man, "As for flirting, I've hardly started! When I get my FINGER on it, I shall compose a most wonderful song for her! I am oh so sorry I didn't compose it yet, I hope you can forgive me for not having one yet!" Gabriel threw a cross punch, "Oh and Rue NAILED it. It'll take more than a man pulling a weapon on me to get me down!" Gabriel continued throwing jabs and cross punches at the Chef. "Hm, maybe I'll switch to cooking puns a bit later... Once I have a few in the PALMS of my hands. But for now I've gotta THUMB through some more hand puns. But I don't really have an INDEX to go through."

[Descartes]

Blow after blow after blow, the chef took. He was definitely bruised, but not broken quite yet. He was, however, apparently angry. In fact, he was obviously angry, a jet of steam could almost be seen emitted from his head. "RAAAH!" he yelled, frantically throwing another punch, just barely missing as he slipped and fell to the ground. The chef rolled around, then jumped back up to try and land another punch on Gabriel's nose.

[Professor_Wyvern]

Gabriel stared in awe as the jet of steam could almost be seen from the chef's head. Gabriel kept his guard as the Chef was moving for another punch, he opened his palm as he attempted to push the jab to the side, out of the way of punching him square in the nose. After all, he didn't want a broken nose, that was a wonderful part of his face..."Wow, you are really STEAMED huh!? I'm going to RELISH this moment. Either way, I am seeing the FRUITS of my labor, I suppose. And by all Ap-PEAR-ances, you are not feeling good. Which means this is all going extremely GOUDA." Yup, cooking and food puns are pretty good. Gabriel chuckled a bit, as he tried another swing at the Chef. "Anyway crowd, I hope you are amused so far! Any suggestions, any sort of move you want me to pull off or anything?"

[Neobullseye]

After that last series of puns, Lily couldn't help but join in on them too. "What's that I smell?", she called out. "It must be the scentof victory! Seriously, that guy stinks, Gabriel; his defense has more holes in it than a Swiss cheese! Someone bring him his brown pants, 'cause he's sure to foul himself after his defeat. That's what you get for playing dirty, Four-arms!"

[Descartes]

As the puns kept coming, it wasn't long before the chef finally had enough. In one quick motion, he flicked his hands out, grabbing the halfling by the neck. His grip was tight, squeezing the air out of the little halfling. "I've had enough..." the chef explained. He gripped on tighter, then beat the halfling with his other hand, smacking the halfling around like a punching bag.

[Professor_Wyvern]

Gabriel was laughing a bit "I take it you wi-!", well before he was immediately grabbed by the Chef, and was being used as the Chef's personal hand-held punching bag. Gabriel's face was getting covered in large red marks from the punching, and there was a loud snap, as Gabriel's nose immediately began pouring with blood. Needless to say, Gabriel was grimacing in a horrific pain. Shit! There is only one way out of this! The For-BARD-en Technique, THE NUTCRACKER!! It is my only hope. Gabriel swung his right foot with all of his might to kick the Chef square in the testicles, and hoping that that would help cause enough pain and a distraction, that the Chef would loosen, or release the grip entirely, and Gabriel, not wanting to take chances, especially with the attacks to his beautiful face, would use his hands to pry the Chef from his throat.

[Descartes]

"GAAAAAAH!" a loud roar escaped from the chef as his grip loosened. Gabriel was dropped onto the ground as the chef put his hands on his crotch, protecting his family jewels as he rolled on the ground, keeling over in pain and humiliation.

The crowd had mixed feelings about the halfling bard's strategem, talking amongst themselves but staring at either the bard or the chef, sometimes shifting their attention between the two. The bet takers held their money tightly, leaning into the fight to see if there was going to be anything last minute- a second wind from the chef, or the bard landing a finishing blow.

"Get 'em darlin'!" Crystal cheered.

[Professor_Wyvern]

Gabriel panted, as he moved up closer to the Chef, glaring at him. He then swung his fists in a mad fury, alongside kicking the chef while he was down. He continued breathing in and out heavily, as he used the strength he could muster, in his assault. Oh please, please let him go down...I really need that finishing blow! If not, Taliesin... I hope I can properly ride him. "O-oh... I'm n-n-not sure which one will be that really awesome hit that just ends you, but uh, that one is for Crystal." Gabriel continued punching and kicking at the Chef, but stopped for a bit as he expectorated some phlegm upon the Chef. After that release of spit, Gabriel did continue his attack. Okay, finishing blow... Hopefully I get a finishing blow. Gabriel dramatically paused, "O-okay... Hopefully I got the timing right." Gabriel began panting in and out, "T-this one... IS FOR CRYSTAL. Gabriel then swung a great jab at the Chef.

[Descartes]

The chef groaned and grunted on the floor. He put one hand down against the ground and attempted to push himself up. The chef looked up, and his eyes widened. As soon his his face came up, it was right in the path of Gabriel's fist. "Oh n-" was all he could say before the punch landed square over his teeth. The chef cried out in pain as he was knocked out on the ground, a tooth flying from his mouth over to Gabriel's feet.

Nearby, some people were cheering, others sighing and looking disappointing, mostly at their lost money. The chef was defeated. The barmaid ran to Gabriel and bent over, giving the halfling a hug. She whispered to Gabriel. "Drinks on me" she pat him in the back.

[Professor_Wyvern]

Gabriel was panting in and out heavily. His knuckles were incredibly scraped, his nose was broken and bleeding, he had several bruises on his face, various cuts on his back and side, and other injuries. As soon as the barmaid gave him a hug, he felt his knees quaked a bit as he blushed, and returned the hug. He smiled at her, "I'll be there." he whispered back. Gabriel smiled at her. Now that was totally worth the fight... That magical feeling. He then focused his attention to the party, "So what did you guys think?" After that, he returned his attention back to the barmaid.

[Parser]

+Wait, so do we not get to fight our way through a lynch mob?+
"No, sword."
+You sure? Maybe we could, I dunno, help 'em along? Cut down some innocents or somethin'?+
"I want you to think really hard about what I'm going to say, here."
+Is that a yes?+
"No."
+Pfft, you're no fun.+
"Yep. Let's go congratulate Mr. Gabriel."
+Do we have to?+
"Yes."
+Fiiiiine+

[Legion of TV Heads]

"I think." Rue said with a curt voice and a baleful stare. "That we're going to have a lot of ground to cover, and you'll have a properly miserable time walking with all those injuries to deter you from doing it again."

[IncredibleBee]

James handed another man several coins before asking, "Is that really it?"

Walking over, he prodded the chef with his foot. "I expected someone built like him to stand a few more blows than that. I guess all that muscle doesn't mean much if you let something like a beating take you down."

[Professor_Wyvern]

Gabriel glanced at Rue when she spoke. He raised his arm up and pointed towards Taliesin, "He'll be my legs when covering ground..." Gabriel coughed a bit, as he gave a bow to the assorted villagers, "I hope you enjoyed "The Laughing Scorpion"...". He smiled, as he looked down and picked up the chef's tooth. He turned to James, "Y-you betted AGAINST me Sir H-Hawth- "Gabriel coughed up a bit, "orne?"

[duskshine749]

"I quite enjoyed your puns," Morthos said to Gabriel as he came up to the group, looking at Lily he said, "yours...could have been better, A for effort though." He chuckled and turned back to the very bruised bard. "We haven't met yet, I'm Morthos Sarzan, excellent work on the chef, I never really liked him," he held out his hand for a handshake with a warm smile.