[OOC] Mass Effect: Wanted

[Vandy]

Wow, the honest criticism hurts but I appreciate it. Good job not pulling punches dervish. I wish you all the best with the RP.

[AmazinglyVivid]

Yay! Thanks for the feedback, Dervish. I'm really excited about this to begin. I made some edits to the CS, particularly to her childhood. I also went ahead and did another tally like Halo did! This is for both the eight new accepted characters and the four legacy characters.

Interesting Stuff

Female/Male: 4/8

Classes-
Soldier: 2
Adept: 2
Vanguard: 1
Engineer: 6
Infiltrator: 1
Sentinel: 0

Races-
Human: 3
Salarian: 1
Drell: 2
Turian: 1
Asari: 1
Batarian: 2
Quarian: 2
Krogan: 0
Vorcha: 0

[Hank]

As advised, I revised Aran's history slightly. He flees Altakiril at age 14 now, dodging military conscription by less than a year, and I reduced his current age by a few cycles to reflect that change. Thanks for accepting me! I'm excited to start our lawless piratical space opera adventure.

[Cpt Toellner]

Sweet

[Halo]

:'D Awesome, I'm looking forward to starting this. Thanks, Dervs.
Holy crap we have a lot of Engineers though. We're a very tech-oriented group of people, it seems.

As for my CS - I'll change Kali's backstory to reflect the training/preparation she would have received before going on her Pilgrimage.
And I think I should clarify "her passion for technology and need for progress led her down the very same faulty path that led her people to exile from their planet, and that, years after the end of this story, would lead to the death of Tali'Zorah's father." I didn't mean to imply there was any link between Kali and Tali's father - simply that Kali is making similar choices/mistakes as Tali's father did in ME2 by researching AI, etc. (he was killed by the geth he reconstructed, if I recall correctly.) Not sure if that's what came across or not, but that's all that was intended, I was just trying to highlight that there was precedent for Kali's fascination in the lore. But I'll go and change it if you want, again, not like it's a major thing at all!

[RainDash]

Thank you for the criticism.
Wow, I missed a lot. I'll need some time to look over it and edit her sheet just in case.
I'm surprised you didn't comment on how it took only ten years for her to become famous like Zaeed, but oh well.
I hope you guys have fun. Kinda bummed I didn't get in, but I guess I just wasn't as good as everyone else's.

[Dervish]

RainDash said
Thank you for the criticism.Wow, I missed a lot. I'll need some time to look over it and edit her sheet just in case.I'm surprised you didn't comment on how it took only ten years for her to become famous like Zaeed, but oh well.I hope you guys have fun. Kinda bummed I didn't get in, but I guess I just wasn't as good as everyone else's.

It was honestly a split hair, so you weren't all that far off. :) I have you in the reserve, so when (it happens in just about every game) somebody drops, I'll send you a message to get you into the thick of things. Don't lose hope!

Anyways, I'm going to try to have a first post ready within the next couple days. Everybody work on the things I pointed out and get ready to rumble, or something.

[Vakte]

It'll be Monday before I make changes. Still got my overtime till then.

[Crya]

I made some changes to Daryna's character sheet. A quick TL;DR to what I changed and what I kept the same:

Tweaks

1. Made the reason for Era and Tivan's exile clearer. The Hanar was basically just an angry brat. Also changed Khel Galdor 'leaving' the pirates to 'deserting' to help explain the divide caused by Ravanor irdon killing Daryna's parents.

2. I understand the special snowflake concern with her disease, but then again Drell are kind of the "special snowflake" aliens of the galaxy considering they make up a tiny percent (maybe half a million among the galaxy's trillions) of the population. So a rare disease among a rare species isn't that unusual, IMO.

3. I did dial back her early power, now she only excelled in manipulate instead of all biotic ability. But the reason that she is such a good biotic (as well as why she has a debilitating disease combined with a shortened lifespan) is because the Batarian scientist gave her dangerous and unethical combinations and amounts of drugs to boost the potency of the eezo. Considering Omega's atmosphere it's possible the Batarian experimented on and killed countless babies before he partially succeeded with Daryna.

4. I developed Jarr and Daryna's relationship. He wasn't tutoring Daryna so much as dragging her around with him as a favor for his nephew Galdor. He didn't care where he brought her.

5. The dominate would be limited. I'm thinking an hour at most for weak minded people, a tenth of that for stronger people. The more complicated the task, the less people she can manipulate (she can make ten soldiers close their eyes so she can sneak past them, but she can't make ten soldiers shoot each other). Her Manipulating ability isn't limitless, but then again it's her only major talent. Combined with her disabilities (which aren't a sideshow, I plan for them to be a real factor in the RP) I think it's justified as it stands,

6. Her love of thievery is explained partially because her family needs the money and partially because she was raised in an amoral household. It was always understood that crime was sometimes necessary with Weliyah and Galdor and even Jarr.

[Dervish]

Crya said
I made some changes to Daryna's character sheet. A quick TL;DR to what I changed and what I kept the same:

All that satisfies me, and the volcano god. Most of the stuff I brought up wasn't questioning that it was possible, just that it needed to be fleshed out a bit better. The concerns about her early power still is something of a concern, because as I said, all the potential power in the world is meaningless unless you have the ability to contain and control it, regardless of being a medical enigma/ science experiment. I do realize you intend to have it be a balanced and not abused factor in the RP, which is why I accepted your sheet. If I had serious concerns about you god modding, we likely wouldn't be having this conversation. :P Just, no 11 year old girls mind controlling 600 year old Matriarchs who've been doing that shit their entire lives.

As for the application of dominate, let's keep it as something she has to be concentrating on. I'm not really a fan of the whole Star Wars "weak minded individual" thing when it comes to mental manipulation, because there's no accurate way to gauge something like someone's mental resistance capability. For all you know, the turian councilor can be controlled like a marionette while the guy serving the questionable street meat from a cart might be the most mentally fortified individuals alive. If she's able to maintain focus on a number of individuals, great, but it's not going to be a fire and forget kind of thing. Biotics aren't some magical cosmic force with a will of it's own, it has to be directly maintained by the mind and skill of the individual using it. It's kind of easy to forget that something like a singularity is one of the most taxing and impressive biotic abilities when you can spec your Adept to just poop them out with impunity, y'know what I mean?

[Crya]

If we model it off of Shepard, it seemed like a strong willed individual (strong renegade/paragon) could resist dominate, while a person without such will would be weaker. Anyways, I think/hope it will come naturally in the RP as the opportunities arise.

[Dervish]

Alrighty, I should have the first post up tonight or tomorrow!

You guys ready to be a pain in the ass for Rebekha Siame?

[Vakte]

I might even push to be a constant headache :)

[Legion X51]

Can I work on information for some people I had in mind?

Also, as for being ready to cause a whole shit-ton of grief for Siame, you bet.

[Dervish]

Legion X51 said
Can I work on information for some people I had in mind?Also, as for being ready to cause a whole shit-ton of grief for Siame, you bet.

Like NPC characters?

[Pepperm1nts]

It's a shame this has got a player cap. I thought this looked cool, but I'll admit I can't always trust myself to post, so I didn't want to take up any spots. If you ever decide to open up the roster/expand on the number of players, let me know. I had a pretty cool idea. I'll keep my eyes on this anyway. Have fun, guys.

[Legion X51]

Dervish said
Like NPC characters?

Yeah, those guys.

[Dervish]

Legion X51 said
Yeah, those guys.

Go for it! If it's story important, let me know and all that jazz.

[Zombiedude101]

Hey, Derv - I appreciate the critique you gave on my app, and I've elaborated a little more into how Iosif was able to escape from Aratoht. As for the matter on Siame and slavery - no, I wasn't trying to directly implicate them in Iosif's enslavement, rather I was trying to suggest that he blames them for Jedrah's betrayal and giving the salarian an excuse to profiteer from the situation even more by having him sold nto slavery. Anyways, I've already got a note down and I'll probably throw another few in as things go along. Thanks for inviting me into this.

[Dervish]

No worries! Glad my critiques are actually useful. They took forever to write out.

Opening post is well underway, ladies and gents. Hopefully within the next couple of hours.