[OOC] Star Wars - Shadow of Rebellion

[Kurai Assassin]

i didnt i stowed away aboard a rebel ship

[Sep]

Kurai Assassin said
i didnt i stowed away aboard a rebel ship

How did you know it was a rebel ship?

How did you know it would go to their main base?

Why didn't they just shoot you/imprison you?

Also I need a real reason why you hate the Empire. This "A thousand year old ship didn't work properly so some people got annoyed at me"

[Daglobster]

Sep said
It wasn't AI that kept the clones loyal more indoctrination. AI in the SW universe is very low level.Also while it is nice, the Dark Trooper program didn't start really until around 0ABY. I mean I'd be okay with it if we were closer to the time as some kind of first stage however 5 years and on a backwater planet doesn't make much sense to me. Sorry.

Well, FourSev isn't a fully-developed dark trooper (so he's not a droid), making him a phase zero dark trooper. Phase Zero dark troopers were developed well before the battle of Yavin, Phase Ones even existed before then. Also, the fact that planet is backwater doesn't make a difference. It's an active war zone, so it's not a stretch of the imagination that at least a few dark troopers would be deployed to it. Also, Dark Troopers aren't exactly rare. The Empire uses them in the planetary security forces all the time.

(The only reason I'm bringing all this up is because I put A LOT of effort into that character sheet)

[Sep]

Daglobster said
Well, FourSev isn't a fully-developed dark trooper (so he's not a droid), making him a phase zero dark trooper. Phase Zero dark troopers were developed well before the battle of Yavin, Phase Ones even existed before then. Also, the fact that planet is backwater doesn't make a difference. It's an active war zone, so it's not a stretch of the imagination that at least a few dark troopers would be deployed to it. Also, Dark Troopers aren't exactly rare. The Empire uses them in the planetary security forces all the time.(The only reason I'm bringing all this up is because I put A LOT of effort into that character sheet)

I can accept that.

Tell ya what. Show me so and I'll accept it (With maybe a bit more in the history why FourSev was chosen etc).

I can probably link it into what Loretta is doing. Hell I can link her research into the Dark Trooper program.

[Kurai Assassin]

followed people in rebel uniform got into an escape pod and waited there. and i dont like the empire because i want honour. the Rebellion are the underdogs so i would get more honour for siding with them

[Sep]

Kurai Assassin said
followed people in rebel uniform got into an escape pod and waited there. and i dont like the empire because i want honour. the Rebellion are the underdogs so i would get more honour for siding with them

Rebels don't typically wear uniform especially if they aren't in a Rebel base. They're rebels, wearing a uniform all the time is kinda a giveaway. Also escape pods are where people would look but I can give you the honour thing if you go Mandalorian.

But why didn't they imprison/kill you? What made you become a bounty hunter?

[Daglobster]

Sep said
I can accept that.Tell ya what. Show me so and I'll accept it (With maybe a bit more in the history why FourSev was chosen etc).I can probably link it into what Loretta is doing. Hell I can link her research into the Dark Trooper program.

Okay, I'll have that edited shortly, when I get home.

[Kurai Assassin]

Sep said
Rebels don't typically wear uniform especially if they aren't in a Rebel base. They're rebels, wearing a uniform all the time is kinda a giveaway. Also escape pods are where people would look but I can give you the honour thing if you go Mandalorian.But why didn't they imprison/kill you? What made you become a bounty hunter?

i didnt want to be a bounty hunter but i was trained to kill. i trained for nothing else. there is no other job for me. Fight isnt over until i die. i will kill for my honour and i will kill for credits. i will fight because it is my profession.

[Sep]

Kurai Assassin said
i didnt want to be a bounty hunter but i was trained to kill. i trained for nothing else. there is no other job for me. Fight isnt over until i die. i will kill for my honour and i will kill for credits. i will fight because it is my profession.

Edit your sheet. Fix the problems I've pointed out. Less of this "Way of the warrior" crap actually explain it. Mandalorians typically reserve their honour for other Mandoas and rarely extended it much further.

These are my points:
1) Don't mind the ancient Sith Ship but you need to find a real reason if you were kicked off Mandalore that isn't ruled by the clans anymore.
2) Reason to hate the Empire. Merely than the Rebels being the underdogs. Or not hate, dislike but there is a perfectly good reason for the Mandalorians to hate the Empire but I will leave you to research that.
3) Rebels only really wear uniform in large operations, and even then there isn't much consistency. The chances of you finding people at a space port wearing easily definable rebel clothes is neglible.
4) If you stowed away on said ship, then walked off like "Surprise bitches! I want to join!" You'd either be shot, or imprisoned in the worries that you were an Imperial Agent.
5) Way of the warrior is all good when you have a char and you're playing said character in the IC. Makes some interesting injuries when the people fighting you don't feel the same way so shoot you when you're unarmed. Though it isn't going to get you in.

These are the five points I want covered. In a new sheet if you want in. If not... then I'm just not going to let you in as no offence right now I don't think you can make the cut. I however have known to be wrong before and want you to prove me wrong. Take your time. I'm going to be asleep for the next eight or so hours anyway.

[Daglobster]

Edited FourSev's background. Even added a little tidbit about him being part of a new Elite Phase Zero initiative so it could be easier to tie him into Loretta's research.

[Kurai Assassin]

Name: Kirin Dala
Species: Mandalorian
Gender: Female
Affiliation: Rebellion
Appearance: without helmet:
with helmet:
Equipment:
Main:
Secondry:
Melee:
Background: Kirin's story begins during the Dark times for the mandalorians. the Empire had occupied Mandalore with a garrison of Stormtroompers and officers. the Mand'alor at the time Fen Shysa and the mandalorian protectors fought against the Imperial occupation for close to twenty years. She was one of the protectors. Shysa had seen a vessel orbiting mandalore and sent a recon team including Kirin to check it out for suspicious activity.When they arrived it was a Terrible Disaster. first of all it was the Leviathan, a sith vessel used in the mandalorian wars. it sent chills up the squads spines just thinking of the evil powers of Revan being aboard the ship all them years ago. Second of all there was a silence on the ship. not a calm silence but an eerie silence like someone was watching you. then it happend there was a gigantic explosion and the top of the Bridge flew off into space dragging 2 of the squad out due to air pressure. the people left inside activated there Gravity boots. Kirin had slightly learned to pilot but never really understood it but she was still the most qualified. She grabbed the control pannel and steered it towards Mandalor. few minutes had passed when it landed on Mandalor, more of a Smash into mandalor. no one had survived apart from Kirin. when Shysa had finally finished the battle he was in he spoke to Kirin, telling of places that needed here more than mandalor. she had shown a good survival trait of being able to get out of the crash alive. He told her to lie low maybe work for jabba the hut for a bit of cash and gather intel on a so called Rebellion and if enough intel is gathered to join there ranks and destroy them. she worked for jabba for 4 months before over hearing a conversation between 2 men talking about the rebellion and saying that there would be a meeting in the mos eisely cantina later on that day for people looking to join. of course Kirin could never miss the opportunity to join and went to the meeting. afterwards they people attending were given Co-ordinates and told to meet there for training and introduction. she left mos eisly that day and went to the Co-ordinates. the Co-ordinates led to Yavin IV. when she got close the Coms sprang into life. Mandalorian shuttle 2543-b state your business or be prepared to be attacked. "The meeting at the mos eisly Cantina brought me here" she replied Password said the voice "27657" she said quickly trying not to get the numbers mixed up. okay Mandalorian, Permission to land. as she landed she was surrounded by officers ushering her to test if she needed basic training. which she didnt. now part of the Rebellion she will destroy the Empire, one garrison at a time.
Reason for Joining the Empire/Alliance: The Empire had Occupied mandalor and capture many of the mandalorian soldiers

[Inkwell]

I will have a post up tomorrow.

[Inkwell]

Double sorry

[Sep]

Kurai Assassin said
Name: Kirin DalaSpecies: MandalorianGender: FemaleAffiliation: RebellionAppearance: without helmet: with helmet: Equipment:Main:Secondry:Melee:Background: Kirin's story begins during the Dark times for the mandalorians. the Empire had occupied Mandalore with a garrison of Stormtroompers and officers. the Mand'alor at the time Fen Shysa and the mandalorian protectors fought against the Imperial occupation for close to twenty years. She was one of the protectors. Shysa had seen a vessel orbiting mandalore and sent a recon team including Kirin to check it out for suspicious activity.When they arrived it was a Terrible Disaster. first of all it was the Leviathan, a sith vessel used in the mandalorian wars. it sent chills up the squads spines just thinking of the evil powers of Revan being aboard the ship all them years ago. Second of all there was a silence on the ship. not a calm silence but an eerie silence like someone was watching you. then it happend there was a gigantic explosion and the top of the Bridge flew off into space dragging 2 of the squad out due to air pressure. the people left inside activated there Gravity boots. Kirin had slightly learned to pilot but never really understood it but she was still the most qualified. She grabbed the control pannel and steered it towards Mandalor. few minutes had passed when it landed on Mandalor, more of a Smash into mandalor. no one had survived apart from Kirin. when Shysa had finally finished the battle he was in he spoke to Kirin, telling of places that needed here more than mandalor. she had shown a good survival trait of being able to get out of the crash alive. He told her to lie low maybe work for jabba the hut for a bit of cash and gather intel on a so called Rebellion and if enough intel is gathered to join there ranks and destroy them. she worked for jabba for 4 months before over hearing a conversation between 2 men talking about the rebellion and saying that there would be a meeting in the mos eisely cantina later on that day for people looking to join. of course Kirin could never miss the opportunity to join and went to the meeting. afterwards they people attending were given Co-ordinates and told to meet there for training and introduction. she left mos eisly that day and went to the Co-ordinates. the Co-ordinates led to Yavin IV. when she got close the Coms sprang into life. "The meeting at the mos eisly Cantina brought me here" she replied said the voice "27657" she said quickly trying not to get the numbers mixed up. . as she landed she was surrounded by officers ushering her to test if she needed basic training. which she didnt. now part of the Rebellion she will destroy the Empire, one garrison at a time.Reason for Joining the Empire/Alliance: The Empire had Occupied mandalor and capture many of the mandalorian soldiers

I'm still seeing issues. I'll point them out to you in fairness but at this point I'm saying no to this entire character.

1- So first he "Saw" a vessel orbiting Mandalore? Where did it come from? Why didn't the Imperials go for it? If it was a trap how comes it wasn't obvious to Shysa that it was a trap?
2-The Imperial Occupation on Mandalore never really ended until after the Emperors death. I mean if the Mandalorians kicked off the Garrison with as valuable resource as Mandalorian Iron available
3- Why does Shysa want you to join the Rebellion?
4- Why does Shysa want you to destroy the Rebellion?
5- Why would rebels recruit so openly?
6- Why would they trust you on sight?
7- Why would they then lead you to one of their main bases without any proof that you weren't an Imperial(And for reference Yavin IV wasn't used until nearer 0ABY)
8- Why did you then decide not to destroy the rebellion?

There shouldn't be any real questions after reading a CS, not ones with such gaps. I mean I can maybe give you 3/4 away to being a secret.

[Sep]

Sent Giesha a PM before I just move things on.

[Sep]

Daglobster said
(I'm just going to put in a character sheet, since I'm super eager to join this. I posted in the interest check thread, but if I did something wrong JUST FEEL FREE TO YELL AT ME :D)His cybernetics are all painted jet-black, and his cybernetic limbs are all properly armored, giving him an extra layer of protection on essentially every part of his body. Shooting him is like shooting a combat droid wearing two suits of stormtrooper armor. His armor itself is designed to strike fear in the hearts of his enemies as a symbol of the power of the empire's army.[/center]- Shoulder-Mounted Blaster Cannon: A potent weapon designed to be used against ground troops and light vehicles. It fires single large blasts of laser energy that can burn holes straight through doors, combatants, and armored speeders. it takes a couple seconds between shots to recharge-T-21 Light Repeating Blaster: The very same models used by peacekeeping forces on Tattooine, the T-21 is a venerable weapon that's comparable to an assault rifle. For most infantrymen, this weapon would require a bipod to use effectively, but FourSev can fire it from the hip with relative ease.-Commando Pistol: A medium-powered automatic laser pistol that FourSev uses when all other methods of killing are exhausted.- Wrist-Extendable Vibro Blade: Two feet long, and no-nonsense, this serrated vibro-blade can split a well-armored stormtrooper in half.- Various Grenades: Stun, Pulse, and Thermal Dets. two of each.-Himself: FourSev's body is just as dangerous as any one of his weapons. He's got strength, stamina, and agility much higher than a normal man could ever hope to attain. -Cybernetics: His cybernetics come with a full suite of sensory systems, and redundant organs. There's also several diagnostic systems that aid him greatly in combat, even systems that analyze incoming fire to help him avoid it and find optimal cover.]

There we go! Now we can do a collab if you want or leave it at that for now, and I'll have you revealed when Frontliner comes down with the prisoner.

[mattmanganon]

Jidak

Name: Jidak Linn
Species: Clawdite/Nautolan hybrid
Gender: Female
Affiliation: Rebellion
Appearance:

Varies, due to her changeling abilities. Although, her prefered forms are Rodian, Full Nautolan, Human Male and Wookiee (For when she needs to look threatening)

Equipment:
DH-17 Heavy Blaster pistol (On hip)
ELG 3A Holdout Blaster (Concealed in jacket)
Electrostaff

Background: The product of forbidden love between a Nautolan slave and a Changeling that bought her. They were perfectly happy together, even having their daughter, but of course, things came to an end with the Empire. Changelings were rounded up in large numbers and forced into Imperial service. Her father, naturally refused and was made an example of, being executed on the spot. Being young, her changeling abilities weren't available, and so, they assumed that she was not one. She was looked after by her mother and a friend of her fathers, a Rodian martial artist, who taught her how to fight with a staff. When she was old enough to do so, she went and joined the Imperial Academy, receiving basic training and rudementary pilot training, she managed to get out of the academy by using her powers to make it look as though her legs had been blown off by a Thermal Detonator, by accident. She was discharged with purple hearts and sent back home. She then set about trying to earn money, there was a lot of it out there for somebody that literally be anybody. She found a kindred spirit in the Dug known as Govyana, they both hated the empire, both loved money and both had a plan that involved using something they loved to destroy something they hated. Belona is a shitheap of a planet that they have been on for the last few years, trying to make credits. Now, the Rebellion has come to them, and they are waging their own underground war on the Imperials.

Due to not being fully Clawdite, holding another form is not as easy as it would be for a purebred. As such, new forms take time for her to master holding. Familiar forms, such as he Pure Nautolan form are easy, but anything that she has not had experience in can prove difficult to hold for extended periods of time.
Reason for Joining the Alliance: Avenge her father

Govyana

Name: Govyana
Species: Dug/Cyborg
Gender: Male
Affiliation: Rebellion
Appearance:



Equipment:
Toolbelt full of engineering equipment
Sentinel-Class heavy shuttle "Fat Lady" (His pride and joy. Illegally modified with powerful engines, a "Borrowed" Comms jammer and concealed Concussion missiles and dorsal quad cannons, as well as a ventral twin-cannon, she is a force to be reckoned with.)
Background: A mechanic and Pilot through and through, his father was a mechanic, his fathers father was a pilot, his fathers fathers father was a mechanic. For 600 years, the "Plognik & Co Mechanics" has been making a steady living in the inner rim as a service station for any pilot with the credits to get a top notch job done on repairing his craft. That was, until the Empire... The Empires anti-alien laws made it nearly impossible for Govyana to keep the shop open, so, after hearing about the Rebellion, Govyana decided to do something about the Empire and their racism. Selling the family shop, he sunk the entire payout into buying a shuttle and turning it into the biggest ass-kicking machine he could. Officially, the Fat Lady is a travelling mechanical craft. She was recently forced by an imperial to fix one of their patrol ships, for no pay... As such, he stripped the comm jammers and replaced them with a bundle of junk wiring, then told the imperials that they were beyond repair. He then rigged them to the Fat Lady. Recently, he took a partner in business in Jadik, whereas most people don't trust Changelings, he see's the appeal in having a business partner that can change their appearance at will to the extent that only the most expensive and sophisticated scanning equipment can tell the difference.
Reason for Joining the Alliance: Empire ran him out of business for being an alien.

[Sep]

Hey Matt. Was literally waiting for you to turn up. Unlike Jedi Exile I'm not travelling Australia, the guild works and we got a nice strong player base so it should be good.

I like Govyana. He's a nice char so no problem with him.

Jidak my first thing: I have reasons I'm not explaining right now for Belona not to be any characters Homeworld. Something I actually forgot to put in the OP, well. It may turn out right now it's an idea I'm experimenting with and researching and I'd rather not go into it fully.

The only other issue I have is her being a half changeling. While I can accept that a changeling pretty much has choice in breeding partners as you're only half I think we should put some kind of constraints on her ability to change. Maybe duration or ease of how she changes? Or like some changelings she must see/touch who she wants to change into?

[Kurai Assassin]

Sep said
I'm still seeing issues. I'll point them out to you in fairness but at this point I'm saying no to this entire character.1- So first he "Saw" a vessel orbiting Mandalore? Where did it come from? Why didn't the Imperials go for it? If it was a trap how comes it wasn't obvious to Shysa that it was a trap?2-The Imperial Occupation on Mandalore never really ended until after the Emperors death. I mean if the Mandalorians kicked off the Garrison with as valuable resource as Mandalorian Iron available 3- Why does Shysa want you to join the Rebellion?4- Why does Shysa want you to destroy the Rebellion?5- Why would rebels recruit so openly?6- Why would they trust you on sight?7- Why would they then lead you to one of their main bases without any proof that you weren't an Imperial(And for reference Yavin IV wasn't used until nearer 0ABY)8- Why did you then decide not to destroy the rebellion?There shouldn't be any real questions after reading a CS, not ones with such gaps. I mean I can maybe give you 3/4 away to being a secret.

1:the Ship is a Vessel from the mandalorian wars so and it was left orbiting. As for why they didnt know the ship was a trap (cue admiral ackbar) its again an ancient vessel. i guess they didnt know the Empire was told about it.
2. they never kicked them off in my backstory there still fighting
3: the rebellion would be a powerful ally to the mandalorians.
4 never said she wanted to destroy them (just noticed i forgot to put the empire at the end of that sentence)
5 how else would they get recruits
6 they didnt they told me to state my buisness and a password
7 how else would they get recruits
8 See Q4

[Sep]

Kurai Assassin said
1:the Ship is a Vessel from the mandalorian wars so and it was left orbiting. As for why they didnt know the ship was a trap (cue admiral ackbar) its again an ancient vessel. i guess they didnt know the Empire was told about it.2. they never kicked them off in my backstory there still fighting3: the rebellion would be a powerful ally to the mandalorians.4 never said she wanted to destroy them (just noticed i forgot to put the empire at the end of that sentence)5 how else would they get recruits6 they didnt they told me to state my buisness and a password7 how else would they get recruits8 See Q4

It doesn't matter. Even these answers you've covered a couple of problems but not all of them. Though I have given my final ruling on the matter anyway. 1. Left orbiting for thousands of years is just illogical anyway. IT would either have come down on its own or have been salvaged long ago. Also Shysa was smart, he wouldn't have sent people to an obvious trap.

In terms of "How else would they get recruits." It's a rebellion they can't just... invite people along. Typically the Rebellion recruited by seeing people act against the Empire, or there was some form of connection. Such as how Bail Organa called up Kenobi. However she's still denied. I won't be against you reapplying but as a completely new character.

6. Rofl I love that, because the Imperials couldn't fake their business and find out the password just walking up and going "Yes, I'd like to join the rebellion."