[OOC] We Are the Crystal Gems

[Pathfinder]

Loony, I've no right to speak here like I'm a friend but... I'm worried.

[Raijinslayer]

@LoonyHey Loony, I'm not going to try and say I understand what you're going through entirely, I kinda get the feeling you may be having. I've had numerous occasions where I've felt like the world and everyone I know would be better off without, and that's because I know I'm a terrible waste of space, but you are an amazing person from what I can tell and I'm sure that once you get through this, you'll be able to do amazing things. Life is hard, life sucks, and a lot of people in it suck, but you should never let yourself give up because of it. Because as long as you live, there will always be a tomorrow, there will always be another time, there will always be a chance that, one day, life will get better. But death . . . death is permanent, and there is no going back in that instance.

So please Loony, don't give in to these dark feelings, because they will lead you to places and things that you don't want or need in your life. Don't focus on the negatives, even if you feel that you're life is nothing but negatives, because that's what brings you down. Like everyone else said, we care for you here, and I will never forget about you.

I don't forget my friends, and even if I've never met you in reality, I consider you and everyone I've met on this thread a friend of mine. I can only hope that my words can stand in for the hug I would give you to show that I care, to the actions I would take to let you know that you are not alone, to the anger I would express towards those who would push you to this. I'm not sure how much any of this means, but I want you to know that I mean every word I type.

I honestly hope this helps, and regret that there isn't anything else I could to show you that we're here for you.

[Loony]

@Pathfinder Don't be. I'm trash and it's better off this way.

[Loony]

@Raijinslayer I hurt people Raijin.

I'm no good.

I'm useless for everything other than hurting the people I'm supposed to be hanging on for.

And I'm probably hurting you too by telling you this.

[Pathfinder]

@Loony
NO YOU ARE NOT, I can't help...I know this. I'm not a psychologist, I'm not good with putting feelings into words, and I have next to no experience with this stuff. But what I do know is that you are my friend and that you are and everyone on this thread are dear to me. Just please, let us help you.

[Loony]

@21308 I know they love me. They shouldn't.

I'm just hurting them and they'll learn to heal after my death.

It'll be for the better.

I'm sorry Spinna. I really love you. I love you all. Honest.

But I'm too selfish to let that hold me back.

I'm sorry.

[Raijinslayer]

@LoonyLike Path said Loony, you are not useless, you're not trash, you are an awesome person. I considered my life enriched for having met you, and have greatly missed talking ever since you went on hiatus. You're a dear friend, and I hate to see you do this to yourself, to treat yourself in such a way. We're here for you Loony, so when ever you feel like this, you can come to us, talk to us, let us help you in anyway we can. IO'm not saying we'll always be able to, but we'll always be there and willing to try, because everyone here cares for you.

[Loony]

I'm hurting you all.

Please just forget about me.

[Loony]

@Pathfinder
I love you guys all too. Don't doubt it for a second. But I just can't take myself anymore. I'm the problem. Life's not the problem. I'm the problem. And Life needs to be rid of me. Not the other way around.

@Raijinslayer

Well, I'm glad that's the case, glad you feel like I've done some good.
All good things come to an end though. And it'll mean so much better for so many other people.

[Pathfinder]

We cant just do that Loony, we love and care for you. That's not something you can just turn off, all we wan't is for you to be ok but this can't be the answer.

[Raijinslayer]

@LoonyNo. I won't forget you. I will NEVER forget you, nor will I just sit here and let you tell me to do so. You have as much a right to this world as anyone else, and I will not stand by while you degrade yourself like this. I can't understand what you're feeling, nor do I pretend to feel like I have any true ideas on how to help you aside from trying to reinforce the message I keep trying to tell you, but goddammit I will keep this up for as long as I can, because you do mean that much to me Loony. You are a dear friend, and I will always keep you in my memory as a great person, because that is what you are and the world, and more immediately, us as a group would be at a much greater loss without you. We will never forget you, Loony, so don't try and make us and don't give a reasons to. We will hold on to you and fight this with you with everything we got, because at this point, that's all we can do, so you be damn sure that we'll put our all into it.

We care, Loony, and we'll continue to care no matter what, because you, yes YOU. are worth it. And you will always be worth it, because you are a dear friend to us all. So please, let us in, Loony, let us help you. Because I want to do more than remember you, Loony, I want to help you out of this. I want to help you overcome this time in your life so you can come out of it stronger than ever before.

[Loony]

@Pathfinder I'm going to be okay after this. I'm just going to hurt others otherwise.

I'm sorry Path. But I've lost friends to suicide, and let me tell you. It hurts. It really does, but you learn to cope with it. And you'll go on with your life and it'll be okay.

[Loony]

@Raijinslayer Please Raijin. I'm the problem. It's not life.

It's me.

And it's okay.

[Raijinslayer]

@Pathfinder I'm going to be okay after this. I'm just going to hurt others otherwise.

I'm sorry Path. But I've lost friends to suicide, and let me tell you. It hurts. It really does, but you learn to cope with it. And you'll go on with your life and it'll be okay.

@Loony

That may be so, but I don't you dare tell us to forget what an awesome and wonderful person you are. DOn't tell us to stop trying to prevent this, because we aren't going to let this just go by. If I could, I would go up and find you, and just . . . hold you. I would be there and hold you until you realize that, no matter how much you think or feel that you hurt us, that you leaving will only make it more so, that we all want you in our lives . . . and that we care for and love you. We're almost like a family in this thread, and I don't want to lose a member of this family. In this moment, I feel like the Reggie to your Eve, I want to protect you from everything that's hurting you, and make sure that you are always safe. Reggie would never forget about Eve, would never stand by and do nothing if Eve was in danger, and would always be worried for Eve because of their fragility, and right now, I understand those feelings better than ever.

We have so many adventures that we can go on in the future Loony, so please, let's continue on into the future together.

[Pathfinder]

No, it can't be okay. This cannot be okay, I won't accept it. You're talking about killing yourself, there is no place in the goddamn universe were I will accept this. You're my friend for christ sakes, I just want you to be safe and comfortable and loved. Not this, this can't be how the story ends, I can't accept it.

[21308]

@Loony Nothing you can do is going to hurt me, the only thing that upsets me is that you're in this much pain, and I can tell you with complete certainty that absolutely nothing will be better if you die. Like I said before however, this isn't about me. I don't want you to think about me. Listen, suicidal thoughts are normal when someone first gets on the medication you're taking. What you're going through is normal and it's going to pass. Try and stay with us for a little bit longer, okay? If whatever's going on in your head is too much to handle right now then try to find something to distract yourself from it. Maybe talk to me about your day, or about bugs, or literally anything besides hating yourself?

[Loony]

I can't respond to any of this.

I keep shaking.

I'm so sorry.

[Raijinslayer]

@LoonyAll i have to say is this: Just talk to us. About your day, about your friends, your loves, your hates, undertale, pokemon, anything. Just keep talking to us, and will be here every moment we can to talk to you. Because we're you're friends and that's what we are here to do.

[Pathfinder]

All we want is for you to be safe, we need for you to see the beautiful person inside of you so you can leave this low point behind. You are our friend and there is nothing on this planet that will make us forget that.

[Loony]

I don't know what to tell you guys.

I'm really sorry. I love you all, honest.

But I'm pretty keen on this.

I'm not really sure how to handle this, just...Would it be better if I just left now? Or would staying around until I do it make you happier?

I just...I don't know.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes I wished no one loved me so that killing myself could be so much easier.