GAME: Crush A Wish

[Mardox]

Granted, the resulting paradox annihilates your timeline.

I wish I did not have allergies.

[nichinichisou]

Granted, but you get hypertension and die.

I wish I was a good author.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted, however you can now only write twilight fanfiction.

I wish I didn't need to do any homework over spring break.

[ButtsnBalls]

Granted, you're expelled from your school.

I wish I am no longer constipated.

[Goldeagle1221]

Granted -- Good news, you're incontinent.

I wish I could get some sleep.

[Mardox]

Granted. You outdo both Rip Van Winkle and Sleeping Beauty.

I wish for an army.

[AirBender]

Granted. Have fun trying to take over the world with dust particles.

I wish people actually responded to our roleplays.

[Goldeagle1221]

Granted, I hope you can translate polish though.

I wish I knew polish actually.

[Mardox]

Granted but the other speakers of Polish switch to Esperanto.

I wish I were a luck deity.

[SleepingSilence]

Wish granted and it was created just for you, it just cursed you with 1000 years bad luck and the deity vanishes.

I wish I could drink as much as I want without ever getting drunk or sick.

[Mardox]

Granted but you specified drinking alcohol, you can now drink as much apple juice as you like.

I wish I didn't feel ill whenever I enter a church.

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

Wish granted, now you only feel ill whenever you leave a church.

I wish I had a more lively social life.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. Say hello to your new besties!



I wish to give the genie an offer that they can't refuse...

[SleepingSilence]

Accepted, the genie doesn't actually have any more magic powers, but he'll give it his best shot. (so he's about as useful as the genie in the Aladdin sequels.)

I wish something would go horribly wrong that didn't affect me or any loved one in anyway shape or form.

[Raxacoricofallapatorius]

Granted, but you nonetheless feel responsible for that horrible thing and have to live with crippling guilt and self-reproach for the rest of your life.

I wish that I lived in the Star Wars universe as a Jedi during the Old Republic.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. You are now a single-celled sentient organism capable of using the force. You can't move very far on your own and are currently stuck in the middle of the deserts of Tatooine. Have fun!

I wish to become a crazy cat lady.

[Aragorn]

Granted, however you develop a fondness for ice cream and an allergy to cats, so you soon become the worlds most miserable obese person.

I wish I had 200 US dollars.

[SleepingSilence]

Wish granted, you teleport to the nearest grave site where an old man was just buried with 200 bucks. Your around 6-10 feet below the ground but that's no big deal right?

I wish Pluto was a real planet again.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted, but as a trade-off earth is no longer a planet. Welcome to the only asteroid in the entire universe that can support life everybody!!

I wish I was addicted to exercise instead of Ice cream (and would still have all my cats and the crazyness that comes with them)

EDIT- I'M ALREADY ALLERGIC TO CATS, SO THere i guess...

[Mardox]

Granted. You overexert yourself regularly and end up worse than before.

I wish for the ability to stare into the souls of others and learn their deepest darkest secrets.