GAME: Crush A Wish

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. It's now so powerful that everyone who uses it gets kicked from every single game session as they are deemed hax0rz. Oh, and Lord Gaben bans you from Steam for life for making this stupid wish and ruining his fanbase.

I wish to become a table.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted but you never fully assimilate with Table society and are shunned by your fellow tables, causing you to develop crippling depression, which the Tables refuse to give you treatment for.

I wish I was not a table.

[Pascha Pascha]

Granted. You are a pool table.
I wish I had a bagel.

[ClocktowerEchos]

Granted but said bagel is actually a well crafted C4 mock up of a bagel and it explodes. In your face. Repeatedly. Until your face no longer resembles a face.

I wish I was a Kuubyi

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. You remain normal because the genie has no idea what a Kuubyi is. Bite me.

I wish for the genie to be free.

[Wobbles]

Granted, but the genie is evil and wreaks havoc on the world.

I wish goldfish wouldn't give me a tummyache.

[Shorticus]

Granted. They give you cancer instead.

I wish I understood what it meant to be kind and to love.

[Mardox]

Granted but a psychotic stalker is your mentor.

I wish I could have corrupted that better.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. With this understanding you also realize what a cruel, heartless, cynical world we exist in and it drives you insane how little humanity cares for one another.

-EDIT (Ninja'ed)-

Granted. You now corrupt everything around you with ease. Also you can no longer use computers because of this.

I wish I could clean my room by just willing it to be clean.

[Mardox]

Granted. It is cleansed with the purifying flame.

I wish I had more chances to legally set things on fire.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. You work at the dump, burning garbage all day.

I wish for the ability to be in two places at once, the two different versions of me being seperate from each other in their information gathering and decision making processes, but me still being one entity.

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. Your clones turn psychotic and kill you.

I wish to never age again once I become 25.

[Duthguy]

Granted, you die the second you become 25

I wish that from now on two rhymes with salmon

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. The universe explodes because it's impossible.

I wish to be a table that's accepted by all the other tables.

[paragloan]

Granted. You are accepted by all the other tables. However, they all watch in horror as you fall off the back of a moving van and shatter into multiple pieces.

I wish that I had the ability to speak to ghosts.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted but you're horrified by what they say.

I wish I was the best at Smash Bros.

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. You're locked in a government facility as they experiment on you to discover how the hell you're so good at it, since Nintendo rigged that goddamn game. *shakes fist* NINTENDO!!!

I wish to be an indestructible table that's accepted by all the other tables.

[Duthguy]

Granted, you become great friends with the other tables until they are all destroyed except for you.

I wish to have my very own catgirl

[SleepingSilence]

Wish granted, but it has rabies and has to be put down.

I wish all my bills I have would already become paid everytime, so I don't have to spend a cent.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted. The government arrests you for ypur suspicious funds.

I wish that instead of any of the current candidates, kid president would win the election and be the best president ever.