GAME: Crush A Wish

[paragloan]

Granted. Kid President is the best President ever for his term, however after five minutes of it he is mysteriously assassinated by a figure in black who disappears in a poof of pink light and is never caught.

I wish that I could type as fast as I think.

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. You type before you think and everyone hates you because you insulted every person on the Guild within a year.

I wish all tables where indestructible and I were a table myself and I were accepted by tablekind.

[SleepingSilence]

Wish granted, that's what you dream about in your coma which you'll stay the rest of your days.

I wish we actually had some good spring weather, this spring.

[Shorticus]

Granted. It's good spring weather! However, the trouble is that the season never changes from spring, so there's no harvest and everyone starves to death. You jerk.

I wish I were a better table than Wade Wilson.

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. Your head explodes because it's impossible.

I wish to rule the world, muahahahaha.

[Shorticus]

Granted. You've been given ownership of a map of the world.

I wish to be capable of achieving the impossible!

[Mardox]

Granted but you trade what once was possible for what is impossible.

I wish death had no hold upon me and those I held dear.

[Duthguy]

Granted, time injuries and diseases do though.

I wish to own both Marvel and D.C

[Ryuzaki]

Granted but your screen writers make "Dr Strange VS Excalibur" Taking two little known comics and making a movie out of them. This movie flops and your studios go bankrupt and the movie ends with Excalibur obviously winning since they're a team.

I wish I was Batman.

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. Your parents are killed right in front of your eyes and you become a hard-ass vigilante who turns insane because everyone you love gets killed no matter what you do. You're welcome.

I wish to have a perfectly normal dog that obeys my every command and snuggles with me on a nighttime.

[Sugar and Spite]

Granted. But it dies within a day of you having it.

I wish I could go see Halestorm at Harrah's Casino.

[Shiny Keldeo]

Granted, you arrive at the Casino just to watch it burning to the ground, with Halestorm inside.

I wish I could sense the aura in all things.

[Shorticus]

Granted, but most of the time their aura is just "Reply hazy try again."

I wish to be MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE! (Complete with super awesome hair and clothing and a sweet sword and maybe a tiger companion IDK.)

[Wade Wilson]

Granted. You are the first ever person in possession of the all-new, totally radical boardgame: THE UNIVERSE! (Complete with super awesome hair and clothing and a sweet sword and maybe a tiger companion IDK.)

I wish to have a perfectly normal dog that obeys my every command, snuggles with me on a nighttime and never dies.

DISCLAIMER: Tiger companion only comes with special edition pre-orders.

[Shiny Keldeo]

Granted, welcome to your new job here at Universe Inc. As Master of Universe Inc., you have almost unlimited power about the universe, but with a catch. Anything you would want to do will have to be filled out with Form 3765-b, in triplicate, and then sent to our parent company, Gods and Godesses Co., for approval. This will take 6-8 Business days, unless they get lost in the mail, in which you will have to repeat the process again. If it is denied, you can always file a 3766-a to try and appeal to the bosses... Ninjas...

Granted, however, that dog can only appear in your dreams, a figment of your imagination, your sick and twisted imagination that ended up planting you in the insane asylum you are currently residing at.

I wish I was a wizard, in modern day so I'm not burned at the stake, and I have no access to any kind of space/time mumbo jumbo to screw that up, and that I use my powers to bring peace to the world.

[NorthernGR]

Granted! You kill all sentient life on the planet! (Including yourself.) This brings true unending peace to the world.

I wish for the skills and sweet costume of a professional wrestler.

[Shorticus]

Granted. You are now a professionally underground wrestler who fights in lethal battles and has a very short expected lifespan. GET IN THERE, KID! I BET 50 BUCKS ON YOUR SORRY ASS!

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[Wade Wilson]

ERROR 101: Wish not found.

I wish to have a perfectly normal dog that obeys my every command, snuggles with me on a nighttime, never dies, isn't a figment of my imagination, and is perfectly healthy in every way.

[Shiny Keldeo]

Granted. However, the Genie is unable to fully grant the wish, as it has to be corrupted in some way. So instead, the dog is the reverse of what you wished for. It is the weirdest dog in the world, and listens to no one. He'll sleep on the other side of the house at night, and dies a few months after you get him.

I wish ERROR 404 [Subject] was found.

[Camerch]

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I wish for no more corruption.