GAME: Crush A Wish

[Arkaquiavel]

Granted, but the term 'waifu' had its meaning changed to "giant one eyed snake with three tails".
Since such creatures do not exist, you've been granted the right to rule over nothing, really.

I wish for clean sky to look bright yellow instead of azure!

[Asura]

Granted. The bright yellow color is the result of the Earth racing towards an imminent, and very hot, impact with the sun. Oh dear.

I wish for Donald Trump to consider me his bestest friend and most treasured adviser.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted, he now considers you such a good source of advice, that your opinion weighs into the vast majoreity of his decisions! You're basically president now! Of course, being a president is hard.

I wish for a dog not taller than me and completely docile.

[Asura]

Granted, although the police bust you with a couple of grams of Snoop's weed a few days later. Good thing he's too blazed to mind.

I wish for the ability to speak, read and comprehend all languages in the world.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted, one of said languages include the DNA that codes the proteins that make up every living being. You can't look at anything living without being overwhelmed by the ridicolous amounts of Ts, Cs, Gs, and As.

I wish for the truthful answer to one question of mine, given to me as if by an all-knowing deity.

[grandia20]

Granted, but before you can hear the end of the answer, the one giving you the answer dies so you're always stuck wondering what they were going to say.

I wish I had a harem of legal lolis.

[Asura]

Granted. Their childish nature leads to them fighting over whom you belong to and this causes a schism which breaks up the harem.

I wish for a doctorate in my chosen field and the accompanying knowledge and records associated with such a document.

[DepressedSoviet]

Granted. Unfortunately, every employer in your field now thinks of you as overqualified, and refuses to hire you. You have to eat your degree for survival.

I wish for a new pen.

[Asura]

Granted. The pen has no ink and no means of being refilled.

I wish for a chicken sandwich, no mayo.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted, in your hands is a live, very angry rooster in between two slices of bread.

I wish for everyone's moralities to average out.

[Foster]

Granted, everyone's morals bottom-out and flatline.

Wishes for a warm fresh bag of squeaky DuPont Cheesecurds to go with this hard apple cider.

[Vesuvius00]

Granted, but they're poisoned.

I wish for the ability to see through walls at will. Just walls.

[Briza]

Granted, but the massive hole used to see through the wall more than not destroys the wall during the usage of the power.

I wish I was a cockroach.

[Shoryu Magami]

Granted.

>Squish.

I wish to have the power to choose the next person's wish.

[Vesuvius00]

granted. you choose to have "the next person" wish for unlimited free soda at any gas station. However, as they are not wishing in this thread, their wish is neither granted nor corrupted. oh well.

I wish for the ability to see through walls at will, without physically damaging the wall in any way. Just walls.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted. Any and all walls are completely invisible, and you keep hitting them.

Hm? "At will"? Well, you wanted this ability, yes? Making it at will.

I wish for a substantial, yet not economy-ruining amount of funds from the bank accounts of millionaires to be donated to AI research.

[Shoryu Magami]

Granted. AIs replace all people in the workforce since they logically don't have to be paid, resulting in the destruction of society and the death of all but a few elite rich folk.

I wish for enough time to sort through all my project's information.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted, you now have all the tie you'll ever need, and infinitely more, as time stands still outside you. Nothing happens to anything besides your body. I suppose that implies you're trapped and choking, since that locks air in place.

I wish for an ice cream.

[tsukune]

Granted, but it plops off and is now all over your shoes before it can reach your mouth.

I wish for peace.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted. All is peaceful, as everything is dead.

I wish for everything to be living again.