GAME: Crush A Wish

[Ragrar]

Granted. But it only makes the sound of people farting. It also somehow makes the fart smell appear and follow you around.

I wish for a quick, painless death.

[Melkor]

Granted. But your closest friends and family are tortured in North Korea until they die in the U.S. about a year later.

I wish there was a way to instantly transfer knowledge and understanding from textbooks to the human brain.

[GodOfWar]

Granted, it's transferred, but pushes out another piece of knowledge in the process. How much do you want to learn?

I wish I could silent anyone, at any moment. Annoyance-begone-spray.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted. Given to you is a spray can of a quickly absorbed poison that kills whoever you spray within seconds. No more worrying about those annoying people.

I wish for something that doesn't kill any human, nor hinder their capability of meaningful life.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. You get a feather.

I wish that the next person to make a wish gets my illness.

[Bishop]

@CollectorOfMyst Granted. But in the previous Arch that I'm doing here(where I'm ruler of hell and heaven and am aiming to conquer all universes), in the other universe, Myillness is the ultimate weapon that grants control of the existence of everything in that universe. Thank you for helping me accomplish my long due goal of conquering that annoying universe.

I wish that I started anew, as a sentient species of another reality, leaving all these heaven and hell and conquering stuff like they never existed.

[ChickenTeriyaki]

Granted. You become a talking seagull.

I wish that I could elevate to a higher plane of existence.

[Ragrar]

Granted. But the incomprehensible and altogether hideous nature of higher realities press disturbingly upon your very essence causing you to go insane with the revelation that mankind's darkest dreams of hell would be like pleasant dreams compared to the awful truth of higher planes of existence.

I wish none of the star wars movies except for the original trilogy were ever made.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. You ruined my childhood.

I wish for a friendly, non-violent, and all around 'good-boy' dog. It must live at least as long as the average dog, and it can stay with either me or my sister.

[TheUnknowable]

Granted. You ruined my childhood.

I wish for a friendly, non-violent, and all around 'good-boy' dog. It must live at least as long as the average dog, and it can stay with either me or my sister.

@CollectorOfMyst

Granted. It's a furry in a dog suit, though. He'll gladly mooch off of you.

I wish for a time machine.

[Witch Cat]

Granted, but you don't have the needed batteries to turn it on.

I wish I could take pride in my writing.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Granted. As a fellow writer, I cannot with good conscience crush your wish.

If I can't have an actual dog, can I have a cat, then?

[Bishop]

A cat... the informal definition of pussy is a cat so same same now you have a pussy.

Now that I am a talking seagull, I wish that I transforming into a model furry seagull, handsome-st seagull in the universe by my standards.

[CollectorOfMyst]

...You really can't think of anything but getting laid somehow, can't you? But fine. During your transformation, the universe you are in somehow warps and is destroyed, killing you instantly. You can no longer exist or be revived, in any universe or dimension, nor bend the will of others.

I wish that people were always grammatically correct.

[Bishop]

This is gonna be a first but.. no wish grantion by my side. I don't exist after all. My time in this thread is done. Later..._{not really since I don't exist anymore}

[TheUnknowable]

huh, a blank post, with no author.

I wish it had an author, and a post.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted, it was me all along! That said, due to shenanigans, it appears below yours.

I wish for non-dangerous things to happen.

[GodOfWar]

Granted. Non-dangerous things now happen always before dangerous things.

I wish this wish could have a wish of its own.

[IntPenDespSword]

Granted. It wants freedom from you, so it is given a human body. It proceeds to beat you up and run off.

I wish for a random person to, every ten seconds, have a significant realization.

[Ragrar]

Granted. Every ten seconds a random person realizes that life sucks and the world would be better off without them. Generally these realizations result in suicidal behaviors. Soon humanity will be no more.

I wish I cared enough about anything to want to make a wish.