It's a monster of a read but here you go. Also friendly reminder to those who'll be posting, it's okay if you guys head directly to the cave, okay?
Questions for the hooded figuresLuke: An interview? *Grins from ear to ear* Is this going to be like that time where the soldiers pointed flashlights at us and started yelling?
Sacha: !? *remembers the trouble they had escaping* I hope not-
Luke: That was fun, they even threw free stuff at us. I still have one of those flowerpots they dropped on your head
Gary: Fun times... I felt so
wanted. Get it? Eheheheheh (~￣▽￣)~
Sacha: Gary, please e n e;;
Gary: You just jelly more chased after me, Sacchin. Hmph.
???: We should invite them for tea sometime.
1.Why do you guys want our items?
Luke: Uh...that's a good question, it's kind of hazy? Oi, guys, why do we want their items?
Sacchin: Because- *pauses and blinks* ...?
Gary: Oi. Who said we wanted your totems!? Go eat a bush! Rudddddeeee!
???: It was for something important...
Gary: What is? What are we talking about? D:
Luke: I believe we were talking about items, Gargar. Uh, I don't remember why we want their items, we just need it.
Sacchin:*gravely* They're sparkly.
Gary: I don't remember a Siren's Song as being sparkly. I thought we were chasing after the humans because of Mr. Philosopy Pants. I thought we were going to put him down... For good. Meheheheheh- But if there are items then that's a bonus! Weeeeheee! (。-`ω´-)
???: We need to decorate the base. I hope they have some nice curtains.
2.Since you were in a past batch, what happened?
Luke: Batch? We met Gargar and Sacha on mount mocha...but I arrived in Nowhere with her *points at ???*
Gary: /o/ Ain't no mountaaaain high, low- Ohhhh, yeah. Past batch-smatch. The others probs found hot men dudes or sumfink. I got stuck with Sacchin though.
Sacha: Sorry- /o\
Gary: D8 Why are you apologizing you're my super cushion bestfi I'm not disappointed- *hugs*
???: The others are dead.
Gary: .... O... Kay. They're dead.
???: One of them turned into a rabbit.
Sacha: Rabbit? *vaguely remembers something about fish*
Luke: ...I think I remember that, a grizzly ate them afterwards. It was some sick stuff *makes a sour face*
Gary: Oooooooh. Looks like they got- *about to make a horrible pun*
Sacha:... *turns green* Next question please.
3.What is the Queen really like?
???: Her house is pretty. I want her curtains.
Luke: She gives me the creeps.
Sacha: She has tasty cakes. ^ - ^
Gary: I stole some of her dresses. ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ»
???: Can we steal a lamp for the base?
Gary: Ooooh good idea! But it's gon be purdy hard to get inside the castleeee~ It's so unfaaaair. Maybe we can find that weird moving cart again and steal more from it mehehehehe- *sweeps pole around*
4.How come you guys failed to retrieve all the items?
Gary: *offended gasp* o(-`д´- ｡) YOU'RE RUDE AND I DON'T LIKE YOU!
Sacha: ^^; Calm down- *pats Gargar*
Luke: Eh? Who says we've failed? We're trying to retrieve them now.
???: Yes, that's why we're following the others.
5.How many from your batch are still left?
Sacha: *looks at Gary* Just us two, I think?
Gary: *stares back at Sacchin* > . >
Sacha: < . <
Gary: *reaches up and squishes Sacha's cheeks* You cute gentle pillow friend you~ I wuv wuv wuv wuv wuv yaaaaaa~! 8D
Luke: Uh, last I remember we're the last two from our batch too.
???: It's good we met Sacha and Gary.
Luke: D8 Don't tell me you don't like my company!
6.Are there still any other humans you have found from batches aside from us and your own?
Luke: Uh we found this white haired kid, he kind of fell off the SSF it was freaking cool! Just bam! He landed on our ship.
Gary; Numnums isn't a kiiiid, Luke! He got them buns- (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)
Luke: Sacha! Gary's cheating on you!
Sacha: He nearly fell on me- *blinks* ? You mean on Leon ^^;
Gary: Oi, I won that monopoly game fair and square! And what's this about my boyfriend-
Luke: Leon Leon? Or Philosophical guy's Leon?
Gary: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Noooo not that one! They're the otp! Don't break them! What I meant was The Leon Back Home!
???: We also found a crazy girl obsessed with something called Pokewhatsit?
Luke: She threw a rock at me! T__T
Gary: While screaming "GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!" ＼(;´□｀)/ She's defo cray cray.
Sacha: Luke dodged and it hit me in the face ; _ ;
7.Is there anything about Nowhere you guys think we should know?
Luke: @-@ the ice cream on Sweet Pastel mountain causes horrible stomach aches. Do not dive head first into that chocolate hill! I repeat, do not dive head first. Everyone ended up carying me home...
???: You were heavy.
Luke: Pshh, I'm all muscle.
Sacha: *pokes Luke* =w= If you say so.
Gary: Spicy big dad Luke! 8D *hugs Luke*
Luke: Sacha...you are ten times more squishy than me.
Gary: Don't steal from item hunters. They really hold grudges. Not that I stole anything from the only item hunter in Nowhere hahahahahaha- “ヽ(´▽｀)ノ”
???: *holds up a crown* Wait, didn't you get this from that item hunter?
Gary: !!! It's not stealing if it's just lying around! He left all sorts of goodies in that cart, y'know! *huffs* Next topicccc!
8.If you got our items, what would you do with them?
???: Decorate the base. *Thinks hard* Go somewhere...away from here.
Gary: Hit someone over the head with it.
Sacha: Use them for... Something? Sell them? @ - @
Luke: Speaking of selling stuff, we need more stars, I spent our savings on some of Mr. Cuddle's tarts. Had some deliver five boxes to the base!
Gary: (•̀o•́)ง Wait you bought tarts??? Let's wrap up this interview and get home right away!
9.How come you don't want the Queen to get what she's asking for?
Luke: She kind of sent a bunch of people after us. I remember getting punched in the face oh and we need their items...for something.
Gary: She's a capitalist and feeds on the suffering of the lower classes!
Sacha: What is she asking for? o -o
???: Last time I checked, she wanted some roast turkey for a party.
Gary: We don't want her getting that roast turkey, do we? > . >
Luke: Well, I kind of want that roast turkey so nah. We need it more than she does!
Sacha: *hungry now* =u=
10.Do you think that attacking the humans full on was the best way to get the items?
???: We asked nicely at first. I said please.
Gary: *serious* .... It's a lot easier than the other strategies we've planned, not to mention that the risk is significantly lower. After all, the Queen would hardly send her soldiers to guard the humans despite the fact that they're after potentially dangerous elements. (◡‿◡✿)
Sacha: I was the one attacked by that scary white-haired girl- ; A ; She shoved that goop in my face and got me drunk ; _ ; *will hide behind Gary the next time he sees Jasper*
1. How tall is each and every one of you?
Luke: *Grinning* Sacha is Godzilla height! (6 feet)
Sacha: D: Am not. (about 6'2) You're not much shorter either, Luke 8T
Gary: So much height in this group. *frowns at Luke and Sacha* > 3 > (5'2)
???: The boys make good barricades. (5'5)
2. Do you have a mascot?
Sacha: Gary's pole?
Luke: Does Gargar count?
Gary: 8D I'm so cute! And I'm the perfect size of course I'm the mascot~ *strikes a pose*
3. Luke, have you ever kissed ??? ? If not, would you like to?
Luke: Erm *thinking hard* I think I remember something, not sure, but I wouldn't mind a kiss~
(8D they did but none of them remember OTL)
4. Pinky, do you want to have a pole battle with Haku?
Gary: *laughs for like ten minutes* Pray tell, what is he going to do? Enchant his pole with words of wisdom? Nah man, ain't got no time for that. But if he really wants to, he can challenge me. Just to warn you, I made Luke cry. Thrice.
Luke: *Shudders* She likes to aim low...
5. Could you tell us about your life on a daily basis?
Sacha: Get up, make breakfast, wake the others... e u e; Go out to explore, make lunch, do chores, make dinner... *sighs* ??? is the only other person who won't burn down the base making food. Sometimes I get woken up around midnight by Gary looking for a snack ; v ;
Gary: Get waked up, eat breakfast, annoy Sacchin, touchy touchy Numnums's sweet hot buns, train with Luke, hit Luke again, go to Mr. Cuddles's shop to buy an apology cake, wear a disguise and spar with soldiers, beat soldiers to a pulp, climb a mountain, fangirl over Numnums's buns, plan tomorrow's bun hunt, hug Sacchin, then uh... Er... Sleep. Oh but I eat dinner and lunch before I sleep mehehehe.
???: Get woken up, help around with chores at the base, lurk around nowhere, head back to the base for lunch, supply shopping, lounging around at the base, lurking around with Luke, help Sacha prepare dinner, sleep.
Luke: Get dragged out of bed, go back to sleep, laze around the base, get dragged out by ??? to snoop around, come back to base to bug Gary about cakes, eat dinner, laze around some more, talk to Sacha about irrelevant stuff, go to bed super late.
6. Who is the heaviest sleeper out of all of you?
???: *Stares accusingly at both Gary and Luke*
Gary: Oi I get up five minutes earlier than he does. 8D
Sacha: I occasionally need a bucket of water for Luke, so...
Luke: Eh! Remember that time when bat frogs attacked the base and Gary just slept through it? I helped you and ??? fend them off by tossing my alarm clock at it.
Gary: DDD8 That was only one time! *smacks Luke with the pole* Meanie!
Luke: ...please take me to doctor Stitches.
7. Who's the one who likes eating a lot?
Gary: (￣▽￣)ノ
Sacha: *points at Gary* She never helps out with the cooking either u 3u *sighs*
Gary: If I helped you'd all be dead by now. (´⌣`ʃƪ)
???: She eats fast, which is why I need to shop for supplies daily.
8. What's the gruesomest kill you've made so far?
Gary: OH OH OH there was this one time someone told me "hey you're ugly" then I was like "well dang, at least I'm not adopted, yo" and then he said "I'm not adopted get your facts straight" then I was like, "*pulls shades out of pocket* oh really because *wears shades* I heard your parents found you at the zoo" BURN BURN BURRRRRRN MWAHAHHAHA BURN ON SO MANY LEVELS YOU PUNY MORTAL AHAHAHAHA- *coughs*
Sacha: *sighs again at Gary* What about the time that monster exploded?
???: It rained guts, Sacha had a hard time taking out the stains.
Gary: That night I wore my raincoat again then snuck up on Luke and scared him mehehehehe- ←～（o ｀▽´ )oΨ He screamed so loudly!
Luke: PFFT, I wasn't scared, I was practicing my singing voice so I could woo you all.
Sacha: Ah yes, what were the lyrics again? "Greaghiasdfghjkd I'm going to die and nobody will ever find the body etc."?
Gary: Greaghiasdfghjkd I'm going to die and nobody will ever find the body goshdarnit Gary holy celery my heart MY HEART are you trying to kill me- 8D
Luke: That was an original composition! You guys suck...??? and I are getting ice cream and you can't have any. *sulks*
Sacha: Then you're not getting dinner ^o^
Gary: Imma punch you if you don't get me my choco cone. “ψ(｀∇´)ψ
???: No fighting in the base. *Brandishes knife* I can make dinner for all of us .-. now run along and please quiet down.
9. Have you ever fought a dragon?
Sacha: D: They're lovely, why would we fight them? *remembers a certain dragon couple*
Gary: What sort of crazy chicken would hurt them cuties!!? >:c *hits interviewer with the pole* Are you advocating violence against dragons!? BAD! YOU'RE BAD AND MEAN AND STINKY!
???: We rode one once, all we needed to do was ask. They got us to the sky kingdom.
Luke: THAT WAS THE BEST VACATION EVER! *Bounces in place*
Sacha: =u = So lovely and fluffy...
10. Who's the pickiest one from you all?
Luke: ??? takes forever to pick curtains...once she took Sacha shopping and Gary and I thought they went missing.
Gary: Yeah! Luke and I even crashed in the dungeons to see if they were there! >:c
Luke: They came back ages later then she kicked us out of the base so they could decorate. I think we slept on the streets for awhile.
???: *Comes back with new curtains* Sacha, which of these looks better in the kitchen?
Sacha: I'm surprised the two didn't starve. Um... The yellow one with the flowers ^-^
???: *Throws several yellow curtains onto the table* The sunflowers or the dandelions? Maybe the roses or do the lilacs suit the kitchen best.? *The list of flowers goes on and on and on and on*
Sacha: @ -@ D-daisies?
Luke: Oh hell no...not again! Gary, I think we need to crash at Mr. Cuddles' place.
Sacha: (Take me with you) TT u TT
Gary: Oh yeah! Mr. Cuddles was going to test this new flavor- Buttercrumble something something- and we better be there for the tasting! Byyyye! *runs out* (TAKE ONE FOR THE GROUP SACCHIN)
Sacha: *cries*
11. Could each of you tell us one thing they find bothersome/annoying about one person from your own group?
Gary: I feel like this question was intended to sow dissent within our group. 8'D
Sacha: I wish Gary and Luke would help out more... *stares*
Luke: Er, I'd appreciate it if Gary didn't turn me into her punching bag. THAT POLE FREAKING HURTS.
Gary: I'm starting to sense a pattern here.
???: Luke and Gary need to help me decorate, for some reason they all run away when I shop for furniture.
Gary: Fine y'all wanna play this way? >:c Sacchin so noisy in the morning are you a rooster or something, Luke you need to man up we're in a war and war is gore and gore is not for wimps, ??? the CURTAINS ARE EATING OUR BUDGET!
???: You're eating our budget! The curtains are beautiful.
Gary: *shows account records to ???* 45 percent goes to Gary's stomach, everything else to home decor. >. >
???: Our base looks great...your food only gets digested.
Luke: You're both making us poor =__= pfft, girls and shopping.
Gary: That's mean! *hits Luke again* >;c APOLOGIZE!
Luke: No. Sacha, stop her, she's being a little demon again D8<
Gary: Fine, there's a special place in Hell for tall mean non-apologizing people! >:c *pushes Luke* I HATE YOU! *stomps away*
Sacha: ^^;; *ignored this common occurence and goes off to do the laundry*
12. Does anyone's feet smell?
Gary: (?・・)σ Quick question, why would we even smell each other's feet...?
Sacha: Luke sometimes goes to bed without showering u - u
Luke: >.> But I always smell like like sunshine and rainbows. You smell like food...and laundry.
Gary: I didn't know you liked sniffing each other.
Sacha: I share a room with him ; - ;
???: *Sprays air freshener in Luke's face*
Luke: O_O IT BURNS.
???: Better?
Sacha: Much. c:
13. Could you tell us about the most enjoyable experience you've had together as a group?
Sacha: We occasionally hold a giant birthday party for the four of us ^o^
Luke: We rent a jukebox, buy a ton of food and just have fun at the base. It isn't anything spectacular, but I guess it reminds us of home.
Gary: Somebody almost got naked. (＾་།＾)
Sacha: You spiked my drink! ; A ;
Gary: 8DDD Spiked is suck a big word. More like "fixed", yes? Ehehehehehehe. Although to be honest I was aiming for Luke so I can have blackmail material...
???: We all buy each other presents too, I guess we're like a family. Sacha is the mother.
Gary: Luke got me a pair of high heels once. I'm not sure if he's being cruel about my height or being genuinely nice, but to be sure I used them as ninja stars. ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ Sacchin made me a cake but Luke ate some of it.
Sacha: I got a blue velvet suit from Gary once. It's very fancy ^ ^; Also a new apron and some pots from ??? and Luke that I use every day.
???: I got a half-eaten chocolate bar from Gary, it's the thought that counts though. Sacha and Luke gave me curtains.
Gary: It symbolizes the uh, sweet friendship we share- ( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ Plus ??? gave me a diet management handbook- uvu
Luke: Gary gave me an IOU note <.< she's a cheapskate, ??? gave me a mop bleh, at least Sacha got me a nice shirt.
Gary: You owe me fifty stars, bro. >:c Pay up or lose your belongings.
Luke: You owe me for all the physical damage and emotional trauma.
Gary: Don't pretend you don't like seeing the receptionist at Dr. Stitches's office.
Luke: Ahaha, you caught me red handed :3 but I still dislike pain...and uh getting hit.
