TasLin
Location: Apex Hospital -> Best Exotic (Lincoln's Room)
Interacting With: Each Other
Pulling out he took the drive as quickly as he could but made it gentle as to not jostle her.
"Tasha, you can't stay in your room tonight, it'll get too hot," Murphy said glancing towards Lincoln. Tasha just nodded and pulled herself closer to Lincoln, clinging to him at this point.
"Does she not have AC in her room?" His voice was incredulous as he gaped at Murphy. His room had better bloody have AC. He hadn't actually checked. He'd been too preoccupied having just ran into Tasha to realise what he did and did not have in his room.
"Naw man, only a couple of second flood rooms do. First floor is totally renovated so they do but Tasha doesn't even have windows, or a door currently," he said taking a breath as he wove through traffic. Tasha just bit her bottom lip slightly as she sat there quietly in Lincoln's arms. Murphy was getting worried, Tasha not piping in her two cents? It was odd and slightly unnerving.
"That decides it then, she's sleeping in my room. I'm on the first floor so she should be comfortable enough there." He nodded as if that decided the matter and he looked down to Tasha as she sat there in silence, curled up on his lap. He'd take things one step at a time this time. He'd be careful with what he said and he wouldn't presume anything. He idly stroked her arm and gently bounced his legs as if it would help to lull her to sleep.
"Yeah, I'll sleep with him tonight," she said in a meek voice as Murphy pulled up to the hotel. His eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets but he just nodded as he climbed out and got the door for them.
"I'll go get some of her things from her room while you get her settled down," Murphy said before heading upstairs. Tasha just wrapped her arms back around Lincoln's neck as she held herself closer to him, she didn't want to let go and her body was trembling slightly as her head stayed tucked under his chin.
Lincoln was extremely worried that Tasha wasn't even trying to fight back. He was glad, of course, that she had listened to his advice but was worried that she was worse than expected and was hiding it from him. He quickly opened the jeep door and kicked it open before slipping out, ensuring his grip was sure he began to walk back into the hotel, stopping only to turn and look to Murphy.
"Thanks. I'll keep the door unlocked for you to get in easily." He then made his way to his room which he had only spent a matter of minutes in earlier.
"Hey, I'm going to need to put you down for a second. Gotta unlock my door." He very gently placed her down but kept a single arm around her shoulder, holding her against him. He dug into his trouser pockets and pulled out his key to unlock his door. Once it was opened up he helped Tasha inside and led her over to the bed.
"Here you go, just climb on in and get comfortable. All fresh linen for you since I haven't slept in here yet." He smiled and then helped her into the bed carefully.
Tasha laid down on her side and tucked her arm under her head. The bed was smaller than hers, a twin instead of a queensized. She looked around the room slowly. It was smaller than hers as well but much better furnished with a full bathroom,walls that were new, an ac that was running, small sink and fridge, small sitting area with a love seat. Maybe she should have opted for a ground floor when she moved in.
Murphy came down, knocking lightly before stepping in. He had a bag of clothing for her, her journal, the papers that had been dropped in the hallway and her meds. Setting everything but the meds down on the couch. Handing those over it Lincoln with some more syringes in sterile packs.
"Keep this in the fridge, she drops again, yell for me. I'll stay in tonight just in case." Lincoln nodded and gave Murphy a small, tense smile. He wasn't a stranger to medical care but it was different having to do this with Tasha. She'd never really been more sick than a flu while they'd been together so this was entirely new to him. He moved over to the fridge and placed the medication inside. Closing it over he walked over to Murphy and gave him a gentle, friendly slap on the back of his shoulder before gripping it between his fingers.
"Thanks Murphy, really appreciate the help today. Really." He let go of Murphy's shoulder and glanced over to Tasha and gave her a small smile.
"No problem mate, what I am here for," Muphy said as he gave a small nod.
He motioned to Murphy and pointed to the hallway before crouching down and speaking to Tasha in a gentle voice.
"I'll be right back, just going to talk to Murphy quickly. I'll be right back, if you need me just shout okay?" He tucked her hair behind her exposed ear and flattened her hair down before standing up and heading into the hallway with Murphy.
"Look man, I'm sorry about the whole... For earlier. I shouldn't have kicked you from behind, you just got me so damn riled up. Y'know?" He crinkled his left eye closed and scratched the back of his head with his left hand. It was clear that he was sorry for that but not for the fight in general.
"Remember mate, never follow up an apology with an excuse or justification. Tasha takes it as a back hand," he said chuckling before he turned and headed up the stairs, he figured by now he needed to do some explaining to poor Cass considering he had run out on her for a while without word.
Lincoln rolled his eyes and shook his head. He was half and half with this man so far and really didn't know if he liked or disliked him really. He shrugged to himself and headed back into his new room.
Tasha swallowed slightly as she glanced around the room, her arm tucked under her head. She wasn't exactly sure how to take everything was going on. Sighing she rolled over, turning her back to the door as she tried to get comfortable. What happened before the hospital was one reason she never opened up, people always made what patients were going through about them; how it affected them, how they should have a choice, them, them, them. It pissed her off enough when she witnessed it happening to others; to have dealt with it first hand now made it even worse. Then the whole moment they had shared being disrupted by him telling her he hated Murphy. That was not what she was expecting to hear after she admitted she still loved him. Today was one big clusterfuck.
He saw Tasha laying away from the door and he wasn't sure what to do from there. He decided to take a seat at the foot of the bed and cleared his throat.
"Hey. How are you feeling?" Tilting her head down Tasha glanced over towards Lincoln and shrugged a bit.
"Just a little tired, I'll be fine," she said as she rolled onto her back and tucked her hand underneath her head.
"You should probably lie down, you haven't exactly had it easy today," she said as she slid over to one side of the small bed and rolled back onto her side.
"And before you even try to say no or that you will take the couch, don't. Then I'll get mad and I'll yell, and we saw what happened last time I did that, so just save us both the trouble," she added as she looked over to him and cocked a brow.
Lincoln's mouth was opened to protest and as soon as it had, Tasha had shot him down and shut him up. He shut his mouth and winced a little at how accurately she had figured what he would do, even if it did make him feel a little fuzzy inside.
"You make a very good and valid point." He slipped off the foot of the bed and lay down beside her, on his back. His hands rested on his chest and he drummed his fingers lightly before turning his head to look at her.
"So... I didn't say this when I should have but..." He took a deep, calming breath and released it before continuing.
"I love you, Natasha Paige Brinne. I'm going to be here for you from now on in any way that I can be." His eyes found hers and looked between the two dark pools of upset beauty. He felt his chest aching for her and what she was going to go through for the second time and he felt awful that he hadn't been there for her the first time but... this was a second chance. If she'd let him.
Looking up slowly to see his eyes she found herself biting her bottom lip slightly as she reached out and rested her hand gently on his shoulder.
"You don't know what you are saying," she said quietly as her lip slipped from between her teeth. Her fingers slid up along the side of his neck until they were running with a feathers touch along the line of his jaw.
"Are you really sure you can handle watching what is going to happen?" she asked as she found herself lost in his eyes once again, like she always did.
"No, I'm not sure, but I'm willing to try and promise to stick by you until the moment you want me to leave." He lifted his hand up and rested it on hers as her fingers traced the line of his jaw. He turned his face and kissed the open palm of her hand and cupped hers within his own and leaned forward, his lips pressing to hers softly before he drew back and gave her a crooked smile.
"I'm not going to leave you through choice, ever. I can't do that." Tasha closed her eyes for a moment, the look on her face was a contorted mess of physical and emotional pain as she let out a long breath as her lips parted.
"I never wanted you to see me like this," she said quietly as she sniffled lightly. Tucking her head beneath his chin she curled up against him like she had all those years ago, letting her arm slip around around his chest as her legs laced with his.
"But I never wanted to be away from you either." "I'm sorry that I ever thought you did." He stroked her hair down and held her close to him, her body feeling so tiny in the moment. He wanted to just scoop her up and protect her from everything that she was going to go through... again. His chest constricted tighter as he realised she had went through all this once before, all on her own and he just ached for her. He didn't know what he could do to help except being her for her but he'd learn. He was willing to do that much and so much more for her.
Closing her eyes tightly Tasha sighed as she felt the corners of her lips curling downwards into a frown. Shaking slightly she pulled herself closer to him. Tasha wasn't one to have regrets in life, she took each day as it came and tried to keep moving forward. Yet being in his arms again after all this time, feeling as broken and as weak as she did she knew she had one regret in her life; one she feared right then she may never actually be able to make right.
"I'm sorry we never had a chance get married," she choked out in a soft squeak before she admitted something else.
"It's my only regret in life." Lincoln opened his eyes in surprise and leaned back from Tasha and had a sad smile on his face.
"Mine too." His eyes took in her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders and then her eyes. He'd missed those eyes. He'd missed her.
"But lets not dwell on the should have, could have, would haves of life. Why don't we start fresh?" He smiled and gently let go of her before sitting up on the bed and held his hand out towards her.
"Hi. My name is Lincoln Roberts. It is lovely to meet you Miss..." Tasha looked at him oddly for a moment and then glanced at his hand, seeing the ring that was supposed to be his wedding band resting there she shook her head.
"I don't want to start fresh," she said as she felt herself swallowing the lump in her throat. How could she start fresh with him? With all the history they shared? Turning she let her feet fall over the side of the bed, knocking the bag that Murphy had brought down for her over and its contents spilling out. Reaching down she left it there except for one item, a worn out ring box.
Picking it up she ran her fingers over the well worn down velvet and bit her bottom lip.
"I wanted..." she started saying but cut herself off as she shook her head at her own words.
"I want to be Dr. Roberts." The words came out in a whisper as she lowered her head and let out a depressing sigh. It was all she had wanted for so long.
Lincoln blinked and felt his heart plummeting as he saw the ring box. He hadn't really expected her to keep it after he had forced her to take it with her last time but it brought back a lot of bad memories and he felt his body hurting again. He felt cold and slightly hollow looking at that box.
"We can't look back right now. Things are different now. Similar but different. That hope is going to take some time to reach again. If we look back we might make the same mistakes, have the same regrets. That's not what I want to happen." She understood what he was saying and she didn't blame him for it but it didn't mean it hurt any less. Opening the box slowly with one hand she wiped away the tears with her other. Pulling the ring out she looked at it slowly, turning it over in her fingers as she sat there slouched and defeated in so many ways.
"This ring... it was the only thing that got me through every thing last time. I kept it on through every treatment, every round of chemo. It was on my finger through every surgery," she admitted weakly as she felt her breath go ragged thinking back on all the pain and how much she had missed him.
"I don't know how many times I dialed your number that year, trying to call you, to beg you to come be with me." This was all so confusing. Lincoln didn't understand how she could chase him away, leave him behind and yet still keep the ring on and want to call him back into her life but didn't? It was all new to him, it was all so messy and Lincoln hadn't really dealt with messy in his entire life. He was pretty cut and dry as a person and preferred to know where he stood and gave other people the same courtesy. It was just how he was, he was open and honest and didn't like to play games if they weren't going to cause a bigger happiness at the end.
"I... I don't understand you sometimes, Tasha." He let out a small laugh and watched her playing with the ring. He didn't know what else to say at this point. He was so confused.
Tasha looked over to Lincoln slowly as she palmed the ring in her hand and sighed deeply.
"The only reason I didn't is because there was so little hope I would survive. I didn't want to call you to watch me die. It would have been selfish. I wasn't thinking about what I wanted, I was just trying to protect you," she said before looking away and staring out across the room blankly as she felt her face warm more and she fought back breaking down.
"I came back, went to your place. It was my first stop. Ran into a neighbor who told me you were gone. When I started working at the hospital again I heard you ran off with some nurse. After that I couldn't bear to try to find you. I figured you had moved on, that you were happy somewhere with someone that wasn't me. I knew how badly I had hurt you, I wasn't going to darken your doorstep again," she said as she closed her eyes and lowered her head in shame. Pulling her knees up to her chest as she wrapped her arms around herself.
He tilted his head more and more as she spoke and he almost laughed, but held it back. He didn't exactly think it was appropriate right now.
"I appreciate and understand not wanting to see you... dying." He swallowed as he choked the word out and a shiver run up his spine.
"I don't think I would have had the strength to do the same for you but who the hell told you I'd ran off with a nurse? I can tell you right now that that is absolutely not true." Tasha's head shot up as he told her he hadn't run off with anyone, her lips trembling as she looked towards him.
"Emanuel, your old boss," she exclaimed as she sat there dumbfounded, then went on to explain that there was this nurse that had started working there after she left but had left the same time he did. The whole hospital way abuzz about how he had run off with her.
"If I see Emanuel again I am going to punch him in the nuts." Tasha let out a groan as her head fell back and she flopped back on the bed covering her face, covering the tears.
"That's why I came here, to get away from California, to try to move on, to try to do what I thought you had. I thought you had forgotten about me..." "Tash, I could never ever forget about you." He scooted closer to her and wrapped her in his arms again, stroking down her hair and kissing her temple gently. Tasha curled up against him and clung to him as she cried; she felt so fragile right then, so broken, and like a complete fool.
"There was never anyone else. I moved back home with my parents and took some time to try and figure out what I wanted. Everything led back to you." Tilting her head back she gazed up at him; her glacier eyes glistening through the tears as if everything cold within her was melting away. Sighing she lowered her head again as her fingers slowly ran over his bare chest and her lips brushed against the side of his neck while she pulled herself closer to him. She knew they couldn't start over, there was too much history. She still desperately loved him, nothing had changed there. He said he loved her still, told her he wanted to see if they could make it work again but was that really possible at this point? All she knew right then was despite the pain and the worry and everything, she felt best when she was right where she was; in his arms.
"What do you want from me?" she choked out.
"Everything and anything that you're willing to give me." He gently placed his fingers under her chin and raised her head up to look at him before he leaned in and kissed her with as much passion and fire as he felt for this woman who had hurt him, who had left him behind to protect him and had never forgotten about him. He had no words, only actions. He was careful, gentle, making sure not to hurt her or himself.
Tasha found herself lost in the kiss, returning it with as much fervor and love as she could, as her hands slipped up his chest and over his shoulders. She knew what she was willing to give him, what she was willing to go through, to endure; for the slightest chance of making up all the hurt she had caused him. She wouldn't have changed leaving to protect him but she knew she couldn't do it again. She had made the choice for the both of them last time, it would be unfair to him to do that again; especially after telling him so much, after telling him she still loved him and still wanted to be with him. It would be cruel to run away again. Even if she had wanted to she knew she wasn't strong enough to push him away again.
She didn't know how to tell him though, how to put it into words right then as her lips slowly peeled from his just in the slightest. She lay there, pressed against him, as she fought to catch her breath with her lips still resting against his as she searched for the words. Holding her tongue until she found them and then finally spoke after a long silence.
"Anything and everything you want, just tell me what that is." He smiled at her, his one dream in life, a warmth shone from that smile like nothing you could even imagine until the moment you experience it.
"I just want you to choose to be with me without me guilting or forcing you into it. That's all." It was an honest, open and clear answer and he hoped it answered her question. He didn't know how else to explain what he wanted because all he really wanted was her. He needed his Tasha again, not just Tasha that he used to date, Tasha his ex-fiancee that dumped him shortly after he proposed, not Tasha who ran away from him and made him run home to mummy and daddy but just... his Tasha. His other half. The cream to his bun, the milk to his cereal, the jam to his scone. That was what he needed from her and he had no idea how else to say it.
Natasha gazed into his eyes, her fingers caressing the back of his neck as he spoke. He could ask anything of her right then and she would have said yes. Not out of guilt though, or feeling like she had to. She wanted to, it was as plain as that.
"I've always wanted to be with you, always. Since the moment you stepped on my foot," she said in a soft weak voice though it was laced with a light giggle.
He ran his fingers into her hair and pulled her close to him again. He wasn't done tasting her again after all this time. Sliding closer to him, she pressed her body to his and sighed gently, she had nearly forgotten how warm and comforted she had always felt in his arms. Still palming her ring in her hand she brushed her nose against his.
"We can't go back, I wouldn't want to if we could. I love you, it's as simple as that. If we could, if you'd let me, I'd put my ring back on this second and start trying to build the future we once talked about," she whispered against his lips, speaking from her heart. Tasha didn't know if she would make it through everything this time, she was counting days if not minutes at this point in her life. If he'd give her a second chance, she wasn't about to waste it.
