Location: Dundas Island, Pacific Ocean
Human #5.053: Nothing Lasts Forever
Interaction(s): ----
Previously: Third Contact
It was late. The dorms were quiet. As quiet as they ever got when the walls breathed around him. Some students had already left. Some had left weeks ago. Months ago. Years ago… But some lingered, holding onto hope, he thought, or just not sure what else to do, where else to go, if the world didn’t want them. And some were just waiting for a boat. He’d just been waiting. Didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to make a decision. It didn’t matter, anyway.
Well… It hadn’t, until he’d discovered something better than the only two he’d thought were on offer. He’d spent the rest of the evening smiling and agreeable and not altogether helpful in making any plans. He was just happy they weren’t leaving without him and there were places to go, people to see, things to do for distractions. Maybe that was all he’d wanted. Two constants when everything was changing. It wasn’t like they knew any more than he did, but knowing wasn’t the problem, was it? Spent the rest of the evening smiling and nodding and excited, until they went their separate ways to sleep. But he was too excited to sleep. Too ready to move on now they had even the semblance of a plan.
Eventually, when staring at the ceiling lost its charm and anticipation faded back to sombre quiet underlaid with creaks and cracks and creeping tip-toe whispers, he gave up. Got up. And slipped back down the hall, one hand sliding along the wall in the dark, dipping past doors and rising where the floor squeaked; he’d traced the line so often he didn’t really need to follow it with his fingers anymore, but the habit was hard to break. Ghosted past dark and open doors, some closed on quiet breaths and others still leaking the faint light of apprehension across the floor. He wasn’t the only one unable to sleep.
But he didn’t knock on any doors. Didn’t stop until he was back outside and caught out by the chill. Breathed in deep and kept going. Wandering. Like he had every day and night since they’d announced the school closing. Going nowhere in particular until he found himself in one or another place he hadn’t thought to miss. Empty classrooms with cold projectors and echoing lectures and heated debates. Locked labs where he sat with his back against the wall, feeling the gathered feet of students all watching a demonstration and listening to excited whispers, groans, and surprised shouts when things went wrong. Sat at different tables in the library and cafeteria, delving into layers of words and wishes and rumours, gossip, secrets, tutoring, weekend plans, and things no one would want to hear. Stood on the courts in the Recreational Center and listened to the echoes of fun and games and letting off steam. Looked into a pool so flat and still he couldn’t help reaching down to flick his fingers through the water. The faint splash came back louder as the ripples lapped at the edge, bouncing between nightly silence and daily activity, water dripping into a long-dried puddle behind him before they shouted, steps rushing under and past, leaping into the water. He felt the splash… But there was only a calm, widening ring across the surface.
He hadn’t taken half the classes he wandered through. Didn’t know most of the people he heard, only a few had names or faces, some had been there since he’d arrived, and others joined in after. He knew all their voices though. Knew all the corners where he could pause and hear a secret, knew which bench held the most saccharine moments and where the paths would make him sneeze come fall and all the leaves. He knew the roof pigeons liked best and the dares passed between friends on the docks. He’d spent the second night sitting against the brick of the Intake House and remembering all the speakeasy passwords he’d never used while counting the visitors. There’d been no one else in the building, though he’d found the newest voices full of hope and fear and wondering about their place. Wasn’t sure they’d had enough time to find the answers. Wasn’t sure any of them had…
There was one building he’d avoided, however. Whether or not its doors were locked or broken or barricaded. Whether or not it had mostly been set to rights. Whether or not he was allowed, though he was pretty sure he wasn’t. But he couldn’t keep stalling this time. He only had tonight.
Lucas wasn’t trying to find secrets or hoping to discover anything the investigation hadn’t, when he turned his steps towards the A.R.C., he just wanted to understand what had happened better. He wanted to see what Cleo had while he’d been hiding under the table with his eyes closed. Wanted to know what Manny had heard while he was covering his ears. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen the aftermath when he’d finally crawled out from beneath the table, but half of him had already fled back into the floor and the rest was in shock. Maybe it was guilt that he hadn’t done anything, pushing him to be a better witness, no matter how little he could have done. Maybe it was morbid curiosity. Maybe it was the way his ears kept ringing and how far away it still felt. But he wanted to know so he could help, or at least better understand the haunted look in so many eyes.
But when he finally worked up the nerve to set his hand against one of the doors, he found the ice blocked his view of most of the fight. As did the faces within it.
He hadn’t slept at all. Thinking of all those last moments, last breaths, last steps, last cries, last surprise… Thinking about the screams swallowed by open air and heavy walls and fear-closed throats and red-black streaks of lightning. Thinking about the girl kneeling in a puddle too warm to be spilled drinks. He’d never asked Cleo why she’d been reaching for her. If he’d helped at all before she’d been dragged across the floor and vanished. Never asked why she was screaming. She hadn’t been the only one. But… She hadn’t even been looking at the thing that grabbed her, had she?
Hadn’t slept. Just sat at the table wrapped in the blanket off the bed, not sure if he was more afraid of what had changed or why it had changed, playing with the bits and pieces of discarded memories he’d gathered over the years. A backspace key. A scratched lens off sunglasses that made everything sepia toned. A bookmark made out of ribbon and Bristol board. A mechanical pencil used so long it couldn’t hold the lead anymore. The handle off a broken mug. Threads from a blanket wrapped around an empty bobbin. The clasp off an instrument case. Half a bloodied scarf. A broken key chain. An earpad that had lost its shape. A small pile of stones and glass and clear crystal. And all the polaroids he’d taken down from the wall.
He’d already packed the rest. His clothes. His passport. Toothbrush. Brush. Jacket. Keys. The small box of mittens his grandmother had knitted and the stegosaurus toy… Couldn’t fit all his school stuff in the suitcase though. The inhibitor. Now all he had to do was tuck these memories into the cracks. Find a way to make sure the pictures wouldn’t bend. Close the zipper. Find his phone… Walk out the door and never come back.
Felt weird, thinking about it that way. He’d… honestly never really thought about what came next. Final year and he hadn’t known yet. But maybe, if he’d just kept going to classes, they wouldn’t tell him to stop. Hadn’t wanted to think about it. Still didn’t. But now he knew. At least for a little while. And he hummed along unevenly with Gladys and Ezra and Daisy as he finally switched from fiddling to properly relocating. It all had to go somewhere. All had to fit. Carefully though. Slipped between his clothes for cushioning.
The first alarms were ringing. Didn’t matter if he was too early. He could wait. Sleep on the plane.
Well… It hadn’t, until he’d discovered something better than the only two he’d thought were on offer. He’d spent the rest of the evening smiling and agreeable and not altogether helpful in making any plans. He was just happy they weren’t leaving without him and there were places to go, people to see, things to do for distractions. Maybe that was all he’d wanted. Two constants when everything was changing. It wasn’t like they knew any more than he did, but knowing wasn’t the problem, was it? Spent the rest of the evening smiling and nodding and excited, until they went their separate ways to sleep. But he was too excited to sleep. Too ready to move on now they had even the semblance of a plan.
Eventually, when staring at the ceiling lost its charm and anticipation faded back to sombre quiet underlaid with creaks and cracks and creeping tip-toe whispers, he gave up. Got up. And slipped back down the hall, one hand sliding along the wall in the dark, dipping past doors and rising where the floor squeaked; he’d traced the line so often he didn’t really need to follow it with his fingers anymore, but the habit was hard to break. Ghosted past dark and open doors, some closed on quiet breaths and others still leaking the faint light of apprehension across the floor. He wasn’t the only one unable to sleep.
But he didn’t knock on any doors. Didn’t stop until he was back outside and caught out by the chill. Breathed in deep and kept going. Wandering. Like he had every day and night since they’d announced the school closing. Going nowhere in particular until he found himself in one or another place he hadn’t thought to miss. Empty classrooms with cold projectors and echoing lectures and heated debates. Locked labs where he sat with his back against the wall, feeling the gathered feet of students all watching a demonstration and listening to excited whispers, groans, and surprised shouts when things went wrong. Sat at different tables in the library and cafeteria, delving into layers of words and wishes and rumours, gossip, secrets, tutoring, weekend plans, and things no one would want to hear. Stood on the courts in the Recreational Center and listened to the echoes of fun and games and letting off steam. Looked into a pool so flat and still he couldn’t help reaching down to flick his fingers through the water. The faint splash came back louder as the ripples lapped at the edge, bouncing between nightly silence and daily activity, water dripping into a long-dried puddle behind him before they shouted, steps rushing under and past, leaping into the water. He felt the splash… But there was only a calm, widening ring across the surface.
He hadn’t taken half the classes he wandered through. Didn’t know most of the people he heard, only a few had names or faces, some had been there since he’d arrived, and others joined in after. He knew all their voices though. Knew all the corners where he could pause and hear a secret, knew which bench held the most saccharine moments and where the paths would make him sneeze come fall and all the leaves. He knew the roof pigeons liked best and the dares passed between friends on the docks. He’d spent the second night sitting against the brick of the Intake House and remembering all the speakeasy passwords he’d never used while counting the visitors. There’d been no one else in the building, though he’d found the newest voices full of hope and fear and wondering about their place. Wasn’t sure they’d had enough time to find the answers. Wasn’t sure any of them had…
There was one building he’d avoided, however. Whether or not its doors were locked or broken or barricaded. Whether or not it had mostly been set to rights. Whether or not he was allowed, though he was pretty sure he wasn’t. But he couldn’t keep stalling this time. He only had tonight.
Lucas wasn’t trying to find secrets or hoping to discover anything the investigation hadn’t, when he turned his steps towards the A.R.C., he just wanted to understand what had happened better. He wanted to see what Cleo had while he’d been hiding under the table with his eyes closed. Wanted to know what Manny had heard while he was covering his ears. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen the aftermath when he’d finally crawled out from beneath the table, but half of him had already fled back into the floor and the rest was in shock. Maybe it was guilt that he hadn’t done anything, pushing him to be a better witness, no matter how little he could have done. Maybe it was morbid curiosity. Maybe it was the way his ears kept ringing and how far away it still felt. But he wanted to know so he could help, or at least better understand the haunted look in so many eyes.
But when he finally worked up the nerve to set his hand against one of the doors, he found the ice blocked his view of most of the fight. As did the faces within it.
*****
He hadn’t slept at all. Thinking of all those last moments, last breaths, last steps, last cries, last surprise… Thinking about the screams swallowed by open air and heavy walls and fear-closed throats and red-black streaks of lightning. Thinking about the girl kneeling in a puddle too warm to be spilled drinks. He’d never asked Cleo why she’d been reaching for her. If he’d helped at all before she’d been dragged across the floor and vanished. Never asked why she was screaming. She hadn’t been the only one. But… She hadn’t even been looking at the thing that grabbed her, had she?
Hadn’t slept. Just sat at the table wrapped in the blanket off the bed, not sure if he was more afraid of what had changed or why it had changed, playing with the bits and pieces of discarded memories he’d gathered over the years. A backspace key. A scratched lens off sunglasses that made everything sepia toned. A bookmark made out of ribbon and Bristol board. A mechanical pencil used so long it couldn’t hold the lead anymore. The handle off a broken mug. Threads from a blanket wrapped around an empty bobbin. The clasp off an instrument case. Half a bloodied scarf. A broken key chain. An earpad that had lost its shape. A small pile of stones and glass and clear crystal. And all the polaroids he’d taken down from the wall.
He’d already packed the rest. His clothes. His passport. Toothbrush. Brush. Jacket. Keys. The small box of mittens his grandmother had knitted and the stegosaurus toy… Couldn’t fit all his school stuff in the suitcase though. The inhibitor. Now all he had to do was tuck these memories into the cracks. Find a way to make sure the pictures wouldn’t bend. Close the zipper. Find his phone… Walk out the door and never come back.
Felt weird, thinking about it that way. He’d… honestly never really thought about what came next. Final year and he hadn’t known yet. But maybe, if he’d just kept going to classes, they wouldn’t tell him to stop. Hadn’t wanted to think about it. Still didn’t. But now he knew. At least for a little while. And he hummed along unevenly with Gladys and Ezra and Daisy as he finally switched from fiddling to properly relocating. It all had to go somewhere. All had to fit. Carefully though. Slipped between his clothes for cushioning.
The first alarms were ringing. Didn’t matter if he was too early. He could wait. Sleep on the plane.