Mordechai stared out the windshield from the passenger side of Creed and Jokes’ black 2008 Toyota Highlander, a car that he knew well not only as a passenger but as someone who’d personally put work into it back when he was employed at Phil’s the first time around. When Jokes had come back to the motel to pick up Mordechai and Allegra at the end of their shift, the petite woman had announced her intention to walk home to the James house alone while Mordechai returned to base to hand in the money. He’d wanted to protest, but her tone brooked no room for argument and she had been switching moods constantly in the past few hours since their encounter with Rey Rey, meaning he wanted her out of his hair just as much as she wanted to be home with the kids. He also didn’t want to be there when she showed up at home and Lacey saw the wound on her new interest’s face. So, once she passed the weapons check she was on her way, and Mordechai was struck with the realization that Allegra was able to navigate her way home on her own like a pro. Like she’d been here for years instead of less than two months. He hadn’t doubted her when she said earlier that she made her rounds to threaten his friends, but the confidence as she headed straight towards the direction of the James household just proved it all the more.
“I spy with my little eye,” Jokes broke through his wandering thoughts with a playful tone and a smirk on his face, pulling the car to a park in the Edge of Sin parking lot.
“A stormy cloud ta most but a source’a light for you.”“What the fuck kinda open mic poetry shit was that?” Mordechai replied, raising an eyebrow at the other man who simply continued to grin back, giving no answer but nodding for him to look back out the window. The tired man followed his gaze and his heart skipped a beat as he saw Sonny leaning against the brick wall near the back exit, head ducked down with a blunt between his lips and his hands cupped around his lighter to protect the lit frame from the breeze.
“Oh,” Mordechai muttered dumbly as Jokes’ little riddle actually filtered through.
“Sunshine.”“Yeah, your little Sunshine, he makes ya happy when skies are gray,” The man laughed at his own joke.
“...What?”“Nothin’,” Jokes replied back with an exaggerated sigh at the missed reference, well used to it by now with most of his crew. The blank spots in many of their upbringings became rather apparent during any of his reference heavy comedy, so he’s always quick to give up on that and move along to something else. Besides, ever since they were kids Mordechai always responded best when you just cut to the chase.
“Go talk ta him, Boa, it’s been long enough.”“I know,” Mordechai responded immediately, nothing in his tone but acceptance. Sonny was blowing the smoke out now and scanning the parking lot, and while he could see the car parked on the other side of the lot, the faded daylight meant he couldn’t see the two men inside. Mordechai was taking advantage of that to get a good look at him- or as good as he could at this distance- before finally approaching him for the first time since he shoved him away at 13 Carlisle, right across the street from where they were right now.
He looked exhausted, like his leaning against the wall was the only thing actually keeping him up…like a part of him had stayed down ever since Mordechai had shoved him away and he hit the ground hard. His typically stubbornly squared shoulders were drooping as the smoke worked its way through his system, but Mordechai had been reading that body with ease for most of his life and he could feel guilt swirling in his gut at the evidence of how his lashing out had affected the man he’d always loved.
He wondered if Sonny had been eating properly, he always forgot to when he was upset, That tended to make him even crankier with people of course and-
“Mordechai,” Jokes sighed once more, tearing him from his procrastinating, and Mordechai’s gaze snapped to him at the use of his full name. Jokes was staring at him patiently, one arm tossed over the wheel while he leaned back against the door. He wondered for a moment if Creed would keep the former captain in the car for a bit longer and try to impart some wisdom or help psych him up. In the end though, it was never really Jokes’ style unless he and Creed were working off of each other. He shook his head fondly and then made sure the younger man could see his face as he smiled to show his support, giving him a stern,
“Go. Now.”“...Yessir…” The paler of the two replied, knowing not to argue when Jokes stopped joking. The sound of the door closing behind him as he slung the cash bag over his shoulder echoed damningly through the parking lot and it snapped Sonny’s gaze back over to him, this time without the protection of darkened glass to hide him. His green eyed mirror went tense and the hand holding the blunt slowly dropped as he pinched out the cherry before stuffing the roach in his pocket along with his now balled up fist. Step by step, he got closer to Sonny, and with each step it was like the other man was turning to stone before him. By the time Mordechai got to him, the shorter man was practically vibrating in place and his glower was becoming more twisted and upset by the second. Any practice he’d imagined for this encounter flew out of his head and they were left standing in tense silence while the music beating in the Edge bled through the brick and metal of the building. Unsure of what else to do in the face of Sonny’s silent rage, Mordechai decided to leap straight into the trenches and took a shaky breath before going to speak.
“I-”“Sonny! Did you take my last wrap you assho- oh, uh,” Zion stopped dead in his tracks, half hanging out the back door as his eyes landed on Mordechai and then his adoptive brother. He was absolutely unprepared to deal with all the unresolved issues now standing in front of him, and the idea of forgiving Sonny for stealing his wrap and just getting the fuck out of there was suddenly very appealing. Unable to really look right at Mordechai and not daring to keep his eyes on Sonny after the glance he’d gotten at his surly mug, Zion opted for the safest option and went to stare over the other jew’s shoulder into the shadows he currently wished would sequester him away, which is when he noticed the bag hanging off of it and quickly formed his plan of retreat.
“Hey man, uh, welcome back…” His voice cracked and went out at the end, how fucking mortifying. God if Danny were here he would have laughed- nope. No.
“Yo-you need me to bring that in?”“Hey, yeah that’d be great,” Mordechai greeted carefully, unsure about the younger boy’s rather subdued reaction to him. The kid used to follow him around just like Danny and Conan had, sometimes dragging poor Topanga along just because she was hanging with them that day. They’d all been quite close before Conan was lost, which had caused Zion to cling tighter to the two best friends he had left, as well as those he’d claimed as older brother figures. Topanga had snapped at him over his clinginess multiple times in those months, but Danny had needed all the physical closeness he could get, desperate for the warmth and love of the friends he had left after losing the other side of his coin. But then they’d lost Danny too, and then Mordechai had left without so much as a ‘see ya kid’. To top it all off, Zion wasn’t even at the den when Mordechai had first returned and reunited with most of the crew, so this was their first time seeing each other again. The whole time, really just a few seconds but god did they drag, Sonny was glaring a hole into his head and frowning something fierce. The air couldn’t be any tenser. Eager to get one thing out of the way, or two if he were including Zion’s presence in this, he dropped the bag into his hand and handed it off to the younger boy, calling out an awkward thanks after his abruptly retreating form that was cut off by the slamming door. Sighing as he added a mental note to check on
that later, Mordechai brought his full attention back to a seethingly silent Sonny. His demeanor only seemed to worsen at his little brother’s noisy and swift retreat, and Mordechai was feeling less and less sure about this with every second he was pinned by the other man’s gaze.
“I’m sorr-”Not wanting to hear whatever was about to come out of Mordechai’s mouth, Sonny cut him off with a sharp and challenging tone.
“Jesus ya just gonna gloss over that? Stow the confusion ta get this over with sooner? Fuck that,” He bit out, keeping his unblinking eyes locked on the other with lifelong knowledge of how much he hated it.
”D’ya even know why Zi won’t look at ya? D’ya fuckin’ care?”“I’m sorry, what?” Mordechai asked, wildly thrown off guard by Sonny’s interruption. He was right, of course, that he’d had a set apology in his head and he hadn’t been planning to approach the Zion thing now, though of course he’d clocked it. But it looked like Sonny was choosing indignation on behalf of his little brother in order to vent his frustration before Mordechai even got a chance to talk. Not surprising as he’s always been better at fighting for someone else instead of himself, something that the two of them have forever shared in common. Emotions were confusing, but anger was always so clear to them as it was the first one they can recall ever seeing growing up. In front of him, Sonny’s stance was rigid and his fists were still balled up in his pocket, but his eyes were piercing Mordechai’s own as if daring him to try and ignore him. Mordechai could never ignore him, not again. So, much to his chagrin at the prolonged tense situation, it looked like they were going to talk about Zion.
I’m so fuckin’ tired of talkin’...“Ya know he’s got that abandonment shit fuckin’ up his head,” Sonny hissed, more than willing to break it down for him and drag it out. More than willing to make Mordechai as uncomfortable as him being suddenly cornered by said man was. If you’re cornered and you couldn’t get away, you turn it around on the other person, make
them sweat.
“Ya never even tried ta talk ta him since ya got back, and that kid’s not gonna go handin’ ya a needle just ta make ya happy like I would so I don’t care what your baby mama said-”"Sunshine I wasn't-""Shut the fuck up!” Rage echoed through the parking lot, cracking sharply against the brick and concrete around them before a strong breeze took any lingering noise away on its currents. Sonny’s face was red and his chest was rising and falling like he’d just crossed the finish line.
“It's been about you! I'm talkin' now!"Mordechai's mouth clicked shut.
“Ya better fix this shit with him soon, hear me? He’s been havin’ nightmares and been cryin’ in his sleep since ya blew back in'a town and ya haven’t even fuckin’ thought’a him!” Disgust and contempt clouded Sonny’s face, the mere look feeling like a slap to Mordechai’s own, but Sonny wasn’t done.
“Ya do remember him, right? You were the one that found ‘im and convinced ‘im ta trust Lacey, ya treated him like another little brother, he was best friends with your real little brother. Hell, he lost CT and then Danny within a year, and then not only do ya leave but he and Rye’s family were the only ones that knew what was needed for Danny’s funeral, so he had ta help Phil where you were too weak to!!”Mordechai had taken a step back before he stood stock still, eyes wide as Sonny lashed out at him with everything he’d never been able to say for the past two years, his voice one step away from a growl and lips pulled back in an angry sneer. His eyes were wild with rage but steady on Mordechai’s own, unwavering amidst his tirade. Mordechai waited a beat before opening his mouth, but Sonny surged forward and in an even more aggressive manner than his sister from earlier, balled his fists up tight in the collar of Mordechai’s shirt, jerking him in close to his face. Just like his sister, Sonny would never lash out in a way that actually hurt Mordechai or triggered him to a pure panic state, the Cernis siblings always more tactful and aware than people quite realize, but that didn’t mean the threat being contained in his body language wasn’t evident. That didn’t change the fact that Sonny’s tightly coiled fists were one twist from cutting Mordechai’s airway off or that his head was one rock forward from breaking his nose. It didn’t stop Mordechai from thinking of all the violent things that he
knew Sonny could do, had seen him do to others, but it also didn't stop him from knowing that the man- with more restraint than people would ever know of- could do anything to harm him but never
would. He would certainly have never shoved him away to the dirt and left him like Mordechai had done to Sonny.
“Not. Done.” Mordechai swallowed thickly and nodded, heart rate picking up quickly as the pulse in his throat beat harshly against Sonny’s fist.
“That’s him. Deal with that later. But me?” A humorless laughed escaped his lips, something so raw and pained that it stabbed at his heart, and Mordechai reached shaky hands up to cover Sonny’s fists. For whose comfort, he didn't quite know anymore. He looked into his storming sage eyes and saw him briefly falter at the contact before throwing his walls back up all in a single instant. Sonny shook him slightly, as if reminding both Mordechai and himself of what was happening here.
“I shoved my shit down ‘cause I was just so fuckin’ happy that ya came back ta us, and ya looked half a step away from joinin’ Danny in the grave so I couldn’t bare ta ask anythin’ too real. I didn’t ask everythin’ I wanted, and there was so fuckin’ much. Like, ‘why cut all contact but I find out you an’ Badger still talked?’ or ‘How the fuck did Nolan fuckin’ MacCullum qualify for your phone number but not me? Why is he what finally brought ya back and not me?’”They were locked in a staring match and neither was willing to look away. The delicate moment held between their gazes paused everything around them and froze their sight to each others’. This means that Mordechai saw the moment Sonny’s resolve shattered behind his eyes like the most fragile of stained glass, breaking as he did. The slightly smaller man took a shuddering breath in before continuing.
“And of course, of course there was, ‘why didn’t ya take me with you?’” The grip on his collar released as Sonny shifted his hands until his and Mordechai’s fingers were interlaced between their rapidly beating hearts, and he clasped tightly while using their combined fists to beat a pathetically light objection against the taller’s chest before tears finally drowned out the rage in his eyes as he desperately claimed, voice cracking,
“‘Cause fuck, Mob, I would’a gone with you. I would’a gone anywhere with ya, any time, always.”“I know ya would’a,” Mordechai whispered hoarsely.
“You’re my Sunshine after all, you’ve always been my Sunshine,” his own tears burning at his eye as he dropped his forehead to press it against Sonny’s, not bothering to stop the light hammering against his chest. He deserved everything Sonny had to throw at him and more. The current captain's frame was shaking from a definite combination of rage and an age-old exhaustion, and the former already knew that nothing he could say would really be enough, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to say anything. Sonny deserved more.
More than anyone else in his life, this man has been there with him from almost the very start. Sonny’s nickname was Sunshine because he was that to
Decky and no one else, because when they were younger Sonny lit up Decky’s life and made sure he kept it alight from there on out. He was Decky’s beacon, burning bright and hot. And like the moon, Mordechai soaked up and reflected Sonny’s rays, showing up as a softer form of the other man, the type that others could stare at without going blind. They may not be two souls born at the same time like Maliq and Jonie, but a five day difference is infinitesimal in comparison to the life they spent together and until Lanie, Sonny had always been the only person for him.
Monogamy had always been a challenge for Mordechai, and as Lanie was the first person to require it of him, it had been a new experience and he had quite the struggle adjusting to her expectations. He told himself that it made the most sense, that the courts would see a stable, normal relationship with a good girl from the right side of the tracks and that would prove to them that he was on the right path and could take care of his little brother too. Mordechai hadn't seen anything wrong with how he and Sonny still hung onto each other or fell asleep together after a long shift, but apparently with their history together that came too close to cheating in the blonde girl's eyes. Flirting was bordering the line of cheating even if things went no further. Every form of communication Mordechai felt like he was actually good at up until that point had suddenly been restricted. At the time, he didn't understand his frustration, because she was expecting normal things out of a normal relationship and he had never had one of those before so he had to learn to catch up, right? He just never seemed built for doing things the normal way, and the gossip had always been that he was raised to fail at everything he did. There were plenty of times when the gossip was right. Too many times.
But he'd tried to do right by Lanie. He tried to stop flirting in casual conversation and he strongly encouraged Sonny to take a shot with other people while he himself kept reeling with confusion over what he was supposed to do with all these different feelings whilst being in a monogamous relationship. Sonny had already been screwing around with Lexie during that time, and Decky had been hit with a confusing sense of loss he hadn't expected when he’d first been told. Things fell apart between those two just before junior year when the girl was shipped off to military school overnight, but even during all that, Sonny had been adamant that he and Mordechai worked better as a team when it came to life and love. While he never pressured the struggling teen to change his mind, he always let Mordechai know that his options were open. Sonny’s comments had gotten the other serpent thinking about things that would’ve been extremely disruptive to his way of life at the time. Before he was ready to figure those things out, summer had ended and senior year had started with, well, a bang, halting everything on all fronts for him as the person he was building his world for was torn away along with Mordechai’s will to build any type of life ever again.
But then he’d met Allegra, found out she was pregnant with Chai and got found by Mika, and then Phil had messaged him saying Nolan was in a bad way and giving him Mordechai’s new number was a last resort because Phil just couldn't handle seeing any more dead kids so soon. A new life that he’d barely started the foundation of was already invaded by his old one. Not that he’d trade anything if he had the chance, everything that happened led him back to this moment, back to his Sunshine. His Sunshine who’s tears were raining onto their joined hands.
“Then why?”“Because you’re not just my Sunshine,” The answer was sad, resigned like he was on the day he’d first made the decision to leave.
“You’re Lacey’s Sunny D, and admit it or not you’re Zi’s big brother. Leavin’ them would’a torn you up, and mix that with how fucked I was and how fucked I was plannin’ on gettin, I knew I would get ya killed or do somethin’ stupid like get ya hooked on H like your asshole parents all ‘cause I just couldn’t stop usin’,” Mordechai took a ragged breath in while Sonny, as always, stiffened at the mention of his and Lacey’s parents. Sonny had been clean of the shit ever since their forced detoxes in Juvie, but Mordechai could never stay away from it for too long. He always did believe that he took after his parents in the worst ways.
“I know you, Sunshine, and the way I was livin’ would’ve killed ya in all’a the worst ways.”“But I don’t care! I wanted you, Mob!” Sonny sobbed, finally collapsing against the other man, who immediately caught his weight and detangled their mash of fingers so he could properly hold his love up.
“I wanted you! I wanted ta be there for ya and not only did ya not let me, ya left me!”“I know,” He admitted near silently against the top of Sonny’s head, gazing brokenly at the dirty brick wall behind the slighter man.
“I abandoned you.”“You abandoned me!” Sonny parrotted before devolving into a bawling mess while Mordechai held him tightly, whispering apologies that he knew couldn’t actually heal the wound, but unable to truly mend what he’d torn in Sonny’s heart. The heart of the man he’d shared the most of his journey with outside his own brother, who knew every single one of his secrets and every skeleton in his closet just like Mordechai knew his. Mordechai held him close like doing it now could hold him together all the times he fell apart without him in these past two years. Likewise, Sonny clung to him like the second he let go Mordechai would fade into the ether like he’d never been there to begin with. Time stretched between the two as Sonny released all his pent up pain and distress, Mordechai taking it all in and doing his best not to start crying himself. Then, when the shaking had subsided a few minutes later, the door slammed open as Monarch came barreling out with her skateboard to head home for the night, Zion hot on her heels. Sonny shoved himself out of Mordechai’s hold and began violently scrubbing at his eyes and face, unaware of the hurt look that crossed Mordechai’s own features. The two minors witnessing the scene shared a long-suffering commiseratory look before they each shot off in their respective directions, Monarch’s skating far more graceful than that of Sonny’s adoptive brother.
“Sorry,” Mordechai whispered once the kids were gone and they were alone once more, taking the shove to mean that Sonny no longer wished to see him now that he got what little closure he could. He was an idiot for hoping he’d get another chance after how much he’d hurt him, but he’d been hopeful that they could at least try. Stupid. He turned around and took a step towards the exit of the lot, ready to go home and try not to cry himself to sleep while Allegra hounded him for details.
“I’ll just g-”“What the fuck are ya doin’?” Sonny’s tone was abrupt and scared, like a child whose parent was trying to leave them alone in the check out line, and suddenly there was a hand catching his wrist so tightly he felt his bones creak, forcing him back around while maintaining its hold.
“Where are ya goin’? Y-ya can’t just leave me- leave after-”“I’m sorry,” Mordechai repeated like a broken record.
“I thought- ya shoved me an’ I just thought-”“I was wipin’ my fuckin’ eyes ya goddamn drama queen,” Mordechai’s heart ached at the oxymoronic affectionate derision in Sonny’s tone, as if he had almost forgotten where Danny had learned it so well.
“Christ. No, you’re comin’ home with me and we’re gonna talk and figure our shit out! I’m not lettin’ ya outta my sight for at least three more hours.”“What? Why three hours?”“Well, I mean…because ya got, like, kids ‘n’ shit,” Sonny replied stiltedly while looking down at the ground and scratching at his cheek in a move that Mordechai knew as bashful. His heart melted at both the sight and at Sunshine’s forethought into his home dynamic.
“Gotta like…tuck ‘em in right? Read ‘em a story goodnight or somethin’.”“Right,” Mordechai offered warmly.
“Viva cries if I don’t read her The Worst Princess every night. Even had ta call in last night from Blue Hill ‘cause she was throwin’ a fit.”“See,” Sonny nodded proudly to himself, everything decided.
“Three hours, let's go.”Mordechai let Sonny’s grip on his wrist pull him along as the current Captain of the Serpents led the former out of the lot and in the direction of the Lost Souls complex, well aware that the other man was done with such vulnerability in a semi-public place as the Edge of Sin backlot,
and that he was using the change in location as an opportunity to reboot from everything that just happened and prepare for the deeper talk they’d be having soon. Mordechai was taking the time to do much the same, and as their strides synced up and they were walking side by side, Sonny tentatively changed his grip from around Mordechai’s wrist to take his hand in his own. Hope fluttered in both their chests as the spark that always seemed to shoot through them at contact came to life once more, assuring them that even if things haven’t been fully healed, their bond was still there. That meant that there was still a way for things to blossom between them again, and damn it if that wasn’t more than Mordechai could have ever hoped for.
________________________________________________________________________________
The shower pipes were just shuddering to a halt as Sunshine locked up behind them and dropped his keys on the small table by the door. Mordechai couldn’t help the surprise that crossed his face when he looked around the apartment and saw that the room was a mix of his own tastes and those of Lacey and Zion. Sonny’s shone through in a picture of the Boaz and Cernis siblings as kids and how his old acoustic rested against the wall by the tv. There was even a bookshelf holding all the comics they shared in childhood and the books that Mordechai and Danny had favored most over the years. He must have saved them when Danny and Decky’s apartment got cleaned out after Decky left. Lacey’s hair ties and small items were scattered around and the curtains had definitely been changed to her tastes, and Zion’s skateboard was by the door while the pull-out couch pushed against the far wall of the living room seemed to be permanently transitioned into its bed form, divided down the middle by pillows and a spare blanket. There was a smaller two seater couch in front of a low table between the pull-out and the kitchen, forcing the appearance of a living room in the connecting space while the real one acted as the second bedroom.
“Wait, do y’all all live together?” He asked, knowing Sonny to be rather minimalist and not leave his things around carelessly, and that the other two siblings were much the same when in other peoples’ space.
”I thought-”“Shit’s complicated as always,” Sonny cut him off, pulling him further into the living space. His plan had been to move into his own apartment once he was out of the dorms, having spent most of his teens under the Edge’s roof, and last Mordechai had known before the shooting was that Sonny was looking into the apartment across the hall from his sister and younger brother. The apartment that Mordechai and Danny had moved into after his emancipation junior year, making that yet another thing that he screwed Sonny over on by leaving.
“I went from the dorms straight to here and despite bitchin’ that I’m a lil’ bitch, Lace gets that stupid look in her eyes when I talk about movin’ in somewhere else, even on this floor. Sometimes I can’t stand bein’ in the same room as her though, I swear.”“Right…” Yeah right. Mordechai thought in response to the paler man’s grumble. He could act all he wanted, even get as frustrated and loud with her in public as he wanted, but there never was and never will be any doubt from those that know him that Sonny loved his older sister and would never know what to do if she suddenly decided to stop reacting to him. As much as she was also an instigator, Lacey knew that Sonny couldn’t process his emotions the same way as other people, and that concern often showed as rage just as much as love seemed to show as irritation. Hearing the way to two talked to each other, you’d think them still living together would have become a murder scene, but Mordechai knew how much those two needed each other and to know where they were to feel safe and stable at all times, and that’s included Zion for nearly a decade now.
“Where the hell is she anyway…” Sonny grumbled to himself, having hoped she would be here to distract Zion while he talked to Mordechai.
“Lacey?” Mordechai asked, having heard him in the silence. At Sonny’s nod, he supplied,
“She barged in on me at the James’ house and got roped in ta watchin’ the kids while Legs and I met up with R2 and started our first job.”“She fuckin’ what?” Sonny stressed as he tossed his jacket over the backrest and sat down on the couch, leaning over the coffee table to pull an ashtray closer before he pulled out his blunt from earlier and lit it desperately, as if the harsher he inhaled the smoke the more ready he’d be for whatever the fuck was happening. And hell, Mordechai hadn’t even mentioned the revelation of him having more family or the disturbingly mutual flirtation between his baby mama and Sonny’s sister that he’d had to watch. Just thinking about it made him wish he’d had the forethought to smoke something himself, as one of the few vices left he was still allowed to indulge in, but before he could even swallow his pride and ask Sonny for a hit, the bathroom door finally creaked open to let the steam roll out while its inhabitant continued his routine, and Sonny silently slumped back into the couch and let out a large cloud of smoke from his lungs before running a tired hand down his face.
“Whatever, go in ta Lace’s room while I send Zi after her.”“What?”The look Sonny gave him told him that the other man had no more patience for his stupidity today, and Mordechai did his best not to squirm under his gaze.
“He doesn’t wanna see ya, dumbass, and this is his home, so go in ta the bedroom and close the door so he can walk through his own livin’ room without gettin’ upset or jumpy.”…Okay, fair enough. Mordechai made a beeline for the only other separate room in the apartment, the door clicking shut just as the one for the bathroom was fully opened. He couldn’t make out the words, but he listened to the muffled voices go back and forth for less than a minute before the slamming of the front door made him jump. The bedroom door swung open a second later and he could tell by the look on Sonny’s face that Zion hadn’t been all too happy to be sent back out after barely being home, especially with the reason being Mordechai’s presence. Everywhere he went he made a mess of things, even when actively trying to fix them. Danny was the only person he never did wrong by and he still couldn’t save him in the end. He still failed. This was all too much for a single day, he had to stop himself from spiraling over Zion right now and focus on Sonny and
just Sonny and compartmentalize Zion until the younger boy was ready to let Mordechai talk to him.
Alright. Here we go.He followed the other man back out to the living room and they both dropped down onto the couch in unison, the cheap wooden frame groaning under the sudden strain.
“So, Badger. MacCullum. New York.”“Yeah, them. That…” Mordechai replied, running his hand through his hair.
“Badger found me, pulled strings with people he still knows in New York,” He let that sink in for a moment, the hoops Mika had to have gone through to find him.
”I actually flipped out a bit on him when he showed up outta the blue, but he made it pretty clear that he wasn’t lettin’ me go dark on him again. I’d left Phil my new burner in case…in case anything happened ta anyone else I loved while I was gone, and he called me up one day and said that givin’ Nolan my number was the only thing he could think of ta help him out. We barely ever talked too much, he just reached out when he had no one else. I actually only came back because I was fucked up enough when he called me that I said yes without thinkin' and I just started hitchhikin'.”“Still could’a let Badger tell us about ya,” Sonny countered abrasively.
“Shit, we didn’t have ta know where ya were or what was even goin’ on in your life, but I deserved a helluva lot more than ’He’s alive’ outta the fucker. Once ya let him and MacCullum back in ya should’a reevaluated where ya stood with the rest of us. Those of us that knew ya before the other side’a the tracks took ya over. The ones that grew up with ya.”“You’re right, I’m sorry,” He ceded quietly, no excuse in his mind for his actions.
“And the girlfriend?” Sonny barreled on without a second thought for the apology, reaching below the table to pull out his smoke box and pull out a new blunt.
“She came up talkin’ real demandin’ about ya, I almost went off the rails and smacked the shit outta her before she told me who she was.”“I didn’t know she went around like that, but I’m glad ya didn’t hit my baby mama,” Mordechai started weakly, Sonny tilting his head to the side to glare at him while he sighed.
“No I’m serious, I knew she had me on lockdown but I didn’t know she had everyone else locked out, I just found out earlier ‘cause Jokes made a comment. I just figured no one she didn’t know was allowed through, not that she went around threatenin’ everyone,” Because Allegra really just went around the first week or so of her residence in Edenridge and threatened the gang members who lived there. He couldn’t believe the level of audacity and self-assurance the five foot tall nineteen year old had. Any other gang members than the ones Mordechai knew closely and she could have gotten herself killed, or at the very least beaten to the brink, but she strutted her way through threats and warnings with confidence.
“I’m not excusin’ it I’m just explainin’. Also she ain’t my girlfriend, we’ve never dated.”“Y’all live together, got a kid together, and ya adopted her other kid,” Sonny piped up unhelpfully while ticking each point off on his fingers, recalling their conversation from when Mordechai first returned to town, and Mordechai repressed the glare he wanted to send the man.
“Ya moved her ta your hometown-”“She moved herself here,” Mordechai interrupted.
“Literally bought the plane tickets while on the phone with me and Poppy the night after Carlisle,” Sonny closed his mouth but was still watching Mordechai, and with his eyes on him Mordechai couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably in his seat.
“It’s like ya said earlier, I wasn’t doin’ well when I came back. Carlisle made it worse, and when Legs saw that on the phone she just made a plan and ran with it, y’know? She does that. She called Badger and sent him after me, and since he found me at Danny’s grave I’ve just been in the James house,” He specifically omitted his stay with Mary-Anne Zima, forever protective and respectful of Mika’s privacy surrounding his family, even with Sonny.
“Badger is the only person aside from Legs and the James family that I had contact with. It wasn’t nothin’ against the Serpents specifically, if there was any chance I could be set off Legs kept it away from me. She didn’t even let me read the fuckin’ news.”“Well at least you’ve been miserable this whole time too,” Sonny replied after a moment of silence before hitting his blunt with a bit of a vindictive smirk and passing it to the other man. As Mordechai accepted it he had to do a double take at the sudden amusement in the other’s green eyes.
“Wait, d’you like her now that you’ve heard that?”“Fuck no,” Sonny denied, smirk falling into a neutral line and eyes going blank.
“I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about. I do got a question, though.”“...Yeah?” Mordechai asked warily, leaning away from him.
“How many stints inside does this make for ya, and was the warden that ya fucked your favorite-”“Oh fuck off Sunshine-”“No, really, that’s a helluva a way ta get time served, just sayin’-”“Are we really doin’ this?”“No,” Sonny replied, rolling his eyes and snatching his blunt out of Mordechai’s hands.
“I’m still upset.”Mordechai flexed his hands open and closed a few times in frustration, knowing Sonny swinging back and forth in his mood was because of the turmoil that he’d thrown the other man into with his sudden presence. Sonny could always switch up attitudes on a dime, and he weaponized this in arguments with people like Mordechai who try to read the flow of a conversation. Sonny and Mordechai knew every button that they could press on one another, and they’d had most of their lives to test their limits, so both men in the room knew exactly what was going on when Sonny gazed steadily back against Mordechai’s glare. Most of the Serpents had seen Sonny use this technique to fluster Mordechai on more than one occasion, but not many had seen him use it vindictively.
“Look…Badger, Pops, and Legs, they all worked hard ta make sure I’d be able ta be sober-”“Fuck that, what about yourself?” Sonny spat out angrily before Mordechai could finish his sentence. Sparks flew as he flicked the ash out into the tray and turned to glare at the stumped man.
“Ya gonna leave all your accomplishments at the feet of others like ya always have? I let it slide the first time for the sake of the warden joke but you’re not pullin’ that again.”“What?” Mordechai repeated for what seemed to be the thousandth time today.
“What the hell’re ya talkin’ about Sunshine-”“They worked hard so you’re sober, Phil gave ya a job so you’d have a wage, Lancaster and Beau did everythin’ ta make sure you’re emancipation was processed.” “...Yeah?”“Yeah?” he mocked, face sour.
“Fuck you. What about sayin’ I got sober ‘cause I needed to, I started a job and ran a crew younger than most people hit puberty because I had ta raise my brother, I worked away my teenage years and figured out the legal system enough ta get emancipated and get my little brother out?” Sonny was glaring at Mordechai as the other seemed to be short circuiting in front of him.
“Seriously? Every bad thing that’s ever so much as happened around ya is somehow your fault, but the second ya have your own accomplishments they belong ta someone else?” “...Oh.”“Yeah, oh.”“We- I can’t- why are we talkin’ about this? Wasn’t I apologizin’? Explainin’?”“Then do it right, Mordechai.” Sonny snapped, his tone breaking right through the tension between them and creating a whole new one. Years of that tone being used for commands in the bedroom and to bring him out of fogs flashed through Mordechai’s mind and brought heat rushing to his face. He cleared his throat and looked away, ready to speak again until Sonny stopped him with a curt,
“Explain everythin’ ta me without your self depricatin’ bullshit or keep your fuckin’ mouth shut.” After that, silence stretched between the two while the blunt was passed back and forth, Sonny letting Mordechai get his thoughts together and Mordechai following orders to not say anything until he’d done so. Finally, as the cherry was burning down to the filter, Mordechai took a deep breath and sat forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
“I got sober again. People helped, but I did that.”“Good,” Sonny replied evenly, finally giving Mordechai his gaze again to show his approval but not budging any further.
“Continue.”“I got sober because I needed ta be and it was the best choice for my life. I stayed in the house, let Legs keep me there, because I knew that was the only way I’d get through it without immediate relapses. I listen ta her because I know that anythin’ she does with me is to make sure that her kids continue ta have a father growin’ up. She doesn’t just control me, I need ya ta understand that,” Sonny’s face was a mask of indifference, giving Mordechai no sign of his thoughts so far.
“Allegra’s gonna be a part of my life no matter what from now on, that’s not even somethin’ that I would want ta change if I could,” He continued earnestly, thinking back on all the things that Allegra has done for him in the past two years, knowing that he has perspective on her and her attitude that others didn’t.
“She’s saved my life, Sonny.”“Wouldn’t’ve had ta if you’d just stayed here with me,” Sonny replied combatively but without any real heat, letting the other know that it was just for argument’s sake.
“Whatever, so she’s here for good? She good for ya? Y’all still fuckin’?”“She’s great for me, and no, not since I last left her and the kids in New York, like a month before comin’ ta town,” He answered honestly.
“Hell, pretty sure from the scene I witnessed earlier that she’s already got her eyes on your sister now.”“Oh Jesus christ, gross,” Sonny groaned before promptly pushing that bit of information away for another time, unwilling to get sidetracked.
“Fine, so she’s gonna be around, so long as she doesn’t keep ya away from me anymore I don’t give a shit what she does. What about the Serpents? You’re back?”“Bottom rung of the Rose crew,” Sonny pulled a face and Mordechai raised his hands placatingly.
“I know, Tate actually asked if I could handle it, but I’m good and Legs is partnerin’ with me, just trust that. I’ll work my way back up, fight in the Pit for extra money if this and my job at Phil’s can’t cover everythin’ I need. Don’t start any shit with R2 over this, he hates ya as is.” A look flashed across Sonny’s face, the same one that always came over him when Rey Rey’s attitude towards him was brought up. It was a face that said
’he has his reasons’ without giving anything more away, and Mordechai wondered if he thought that face kept him from putting the puzzle pieces together years ago. Rey Rey was as fine with Sonny upon their introduction to the crew as he was with anyone else, but something changed around New Years of Sophomore year. Sonny and Lacey’s parents go missing and suddenly Sonny is on Rey Rey’s shitlist. As someone that knew the Cernis parents and how they treated their kids, as well as knowing it happened around New Years when they liked to have a big blowout and beat down-
knowing that the Cernis parents had blown back into town early and ruined Lacey’s anniversary surprise for Zion who would have been hiding in the basement around that time- Mordechai and Danny had talked about the likelihoods in the dark that night and then promptly locked their lips and thrown away the key. It was the one thing Sonny never talked about with Mordechai, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still know.
“I’m not leavin’ ya again, Sunshine,” Mordechai said after the silence had relaxed from tense to comfortable.
“I can’t say I’ll never hurt ya, but I won’t hurt ya like that. Not again.”“That’s not a promise,” Sonny retorted quietly as their eyes connected, and Mordechai could tell that both the questions and the fight had finally left him. Seeming to have noticed it himself, Sonny tried to break their gaze and muster up more combative energy, and Mordechai reached out and caught Sonny’s face to stop it from turning.
“This isn’t over, I’m gonna have more questions.”“We don’t believe in promises,” Mordechai countered, leaning in as Sonny’s gaze sharpened and narrowed in on him.
“And I’ll answer any questions ya got, but right now…right now can we just be here with each other before I have ta go back ta the James’? I’ve missed ya so fuckin’ much and this barely touchin’, barely lookin’ shit is killin’ me.”“Imagine how I felt the past two years,” Sonny protested but didn’t pull his face away. He turned fully towards Mordechai and knocked the hand off of his jaw, sending his own hand forward to fist into Mordechai’s collar in a mock of their earlier situation. Mordechai barely had a chance to react before Sonny was yanking him forward to crash their lips together in desperation, well past his ability to remain aloof in the other man’s presence. He pulled Mordechai over him and he shifted down on the couch, the other man following as he chased his lips. Taking a second for breath, Sonny propped himself on his elbow, other hand still in Mordechai’s collar.
“I told Zi not ta come back with Lace till I text him, how much’a those three hours we got left?”Mordechai fumbled to pull his phone out of his pocket and check the time on the screen.
“About two. We could do plenty in that time.”“Oh we’re gonna do plenty in that time.” With that, Sonny pulled Mordechai back down to his lips, the taller man’s phone falling carelessly to the ground, forgotten for the moment even as it buzzed and lit up with a message from Duke.
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