Avatar of AdorableSaucer

Status

User has no status, yet

Bio

User has no bio, yet

Most Recent Posts


Jiugui

Making Friends; Making Enemies

Poking @Enzayne@WrongEndoftheRainbow@Bright_Ops@Lauder



Excessive consumption of alcohol may dull the senses and cause balance issues. Jiugui learned this early on, for it took him a good minute to get to his feet properly. A stone toss away came terrible noises and thunderous explosions - steam filled the heavens and some lady deafened explosions in the ocean with shouts about salt or something - it was all very bizarre, thought the creature. Still, he bumbled along out of the pavilion until he came upon a colourful court of kingly custodians, auras awesome and mighty like the forces of a hurricane. In his admiration and stupor, the little creature hardly noticed the fancy, leather-bound book to his left. Not thinking twice, he blurted out,

“Oh, thish a guest list? Shorry, lem’me jussh…” Before anyone could really react to him, the bumbling man had already signed his name - except it wasn’t his name, and the page was not blank.

Over a section detailing that all the forces of earth and heaven should work in harmony to ensure the stability of creation and existence, Jiugui had scribbled a terrible gibberish that, if you squinted closely, looked like a burnt snake, possibly a salamander. Either way, that did the deed, and the rain and earth on Galbar shook violently - on parts of the planet, the earth under water quaked and cracked, creating the first volcanoes; on other parts, the rain clouds clotted together into mighty hurricanes that ravaged (luckily) nothing yet. Docile against the might of gods, these forces could become a problem for mortals down the line. Oh well.

Jiugui, however, was busy studying his signature. He decided that he was unhappy with it, turned the page and signed again:

Jiugi waz here.”


He tapped his chin with his brush. Slap, slap, slap.

“Alcohol iz alwayz good!”


And so it was that mortals, beasts, plants and all, if they found alcoholic fruit, beverages or other things, would not shy from consuming it - some might even enjoy the taste in later days, who knows!

Once properly signed in, Jiugui staggered into the centre of the court, where the turned to the most magnificent thing the room, no doubt interrupting loudly the six-legged horse spouting on and on about using the palace’s men for weird experiments. The man tossed himself into a kowtow on the floor, spilling all the wine in his cup.

”Oh, MIGHZY MASDER ‘AV HEAFEN ‘N EARZ!”


There came a small burp. “Oh, ‘zcuse me…"

"Your creashun av’us hash been… Susha pleasurr. Your HAMBLE sev'vant raises his CAPP to ya, mighzy one! Ganbeiiiii!


And so the fat man slammed down the contents of his tiny porcelain cup (well, after rematerialising some more in an instant). Afterwards, he growled a small brrrrooooiph, sorry… and turned to the horse. “Shorry, I intezzupted you, sirr, cazzy ohn…” His eyes then affixed to first the cartwheeling goddess who seemed to look exactly like another, sterner, scarier goddess, then to the absolutely awesome doomsday that seemed to last only for a second. Or did it happen at all? Jiugui wasn’t sure, honestly, but as his brain short-circuited when he (surprisingly) remembered the cartwheeling lady. Sticking both arms out backwards like the winds of a bird to balance his forward-bending torso, the man engaged in a waddling jog after her, cackling all the way.





Jiugui

The Wine Demon | The Unquenchable Thirst | The Rose-Cheeked God


Thunderous cacophonies of creation blasted into reality all around, and the scene of existence had in the span of minutes gone from nothing into everything - water, earth, heat, cold, magic - forces of the physical world accompanied by the forces of the cosmos: knowledge, luck, fortitude, destruction and souls. At the centre of it all - Him; the Celestial Master, the Lord Who Towers of All. The Cosmic King had spawned with such magnificent power this roster of retainers, this society of stewards - drizzling the world in rain and penning the words of Creation itself. Life - life was finding its way.

It was then that a puddle, not too far from the ruins of the garden fountain, was exposed to the sweet dust of a godly shard; that sugar in the air that blasted off from creation and seasoned the soil with holy spirit.

That was enough.

The water accepted this candy of Creation and the two fused into a thin syrup that immediately sported a small, brown mustache of foam - an eyeball of yeast blinked up at the rain. It had little time before it would be flushed away. It decided to do something about it. So the yeast spun itself a whirlpool in the puddle and flushed itself down into the soil. There, it quickly found exactly no one, and it couldn’t accept that - where was the joy in being alone? So the yeast, immediately changing its mind, tunneled back up into the air and became a cloud. The cloud thickened, but the rain from above kept cutting through it and preventing it from coalescing properly. The cloud, rather annoyed at this point, floated for cover, finding it in the ruins of an ancient pavilion. There, the cloud could finally gather into a clump of foam, and the clump spat out a creature - a man, red of skin, small of growth and round with fat.

The creature, clothed in a white silk robe and hatted with a black futou, crashed into the pavilion floor, but spared no muscular expense and turned the clumsy landing into a dexterous roll, ending in a lying seat, a cup spawning in his right hand as if by instinct. With his cup in his grip and a sip to his lip, he, Jiugui, spoke the first drunk poetry the world had ever heard:



Thousand years of brewing art
Hidden in the Lian Spring, art!
Wine from poets’ gardens flows,
Tastes which will undo all woes.


He then looked around.

“Wait, where ish everyone?”





@Zanavy Consider your proved apped, Mystique. Welcome aboard!
@eemmtt@Birdboy@ArmorPlated Hi, y'all! Sorry, I beg your most humble forgib. The Sauce is a slow-running goop, especially in the head. You are all of the accepted lot!

Crowley's giving me them World of Darkness vibes. I luv it. :D
@Eviledd1984 All good! Welcome aboard!
@Ozzy Cross Nice! I checked it out and all looks good! Now to answer your questions:

1) The actual distance has never been canonised beyond "a while", even on horseback, as in characters will often arrive at Lorenstad "at last" after leaving Struq, so to speak. It's thus up to interpretation!

2) Horseback, birdback, bearback - fantasy mounts beyond the most mythic like dragons, unicorns, hippogryphs, etc. are all game.

3) Sure, Pig Mayor is at the tavern rn, but he could toss a look out the ole window and catch Thad coming over the horizon.
@Ozzy Cross Yo, Ozzy! Big mistake by me! I read your intro post and realised I mighta been too hasty when reading your CS. I assumed Thaddeus was a privateer staying over in Lorenstad, but when I read your post, I realised he was meant to be a privateer with his own ship in Lorenstad. Lorenstad is, however, a landlocked town with no coast. Thaddeus would thus have to make landfall in Struq, the only canon port city, or just canonise another port. Lorenstad, however, is too far from the sea
Mayor Haxe



With a wave of goodbye and a well-wish of "Have a nice morning and thank you for your ever-stellar work," the mayor turned away from the moth-girl and addressed the Sangakuan. "Well, shall the three of us--" He then noticed that the other human had left them. "My, where did Ms. von Eisenberg go?"

The cacophony from a taverny building a stonetoss away drew his beady eyes and widened them greatly with even greater surprise. "Oh, Makers - what has Ms. Firetail found this time?" He dropped down onto all four cloves, turned briefly to nod for Yoshina to follow. "Oh, do forgive me. We are going this way!" The little pigman then assumed an elegant gait, though his steps carried a slight hint of urgency. He oinked pensively to himself and occasionally lifted a front foot to pat his wig into place.

The little street was virtually the only street in the town with paves, and it essentially led in two directions: east and west. It wasn't easy to get lost here, but the mayor couldn't very well leave visitors to figure out where everything was on their own.

His porcine stomach growled. The scent of rolls was thick on the air.

@Kumbaris@Lucky
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet