Now that they were in the forest, they were almost at the point where they could have fun. And, luckily, he’d found his lucky charm before they’d left the house that morning. In fact, with the way his luck had been so far today, he was almost certain they’d run into a squad composed completely of beautiful, foreign women from other villages! There was a chance he could even meet a beauty from the mysterious land of Rain… Looking over his shoulder at his group, Kai wiped the dripping blood from his nose with the back of his hand, and sniffed.
“Let’s work hard to find some gorgeous babes here, guys. This is my chance to make a good impression.” Kai said, sniffing again before looking out at the forest in front of them. Here in the forest, he was in his element — all he needed now was some cute girls to show off to, and he’d be right at home. Squad 4 was already considered one of, if not the strongest Konoha squad by many people, and this was their first real chance to prove it. Blowing a door off its hinges hardly counted! That was baby stuff, he could do that in his sleep.
“Just think! Right now, there could be a damsel already in distress in the Forest of Death, waiting for Kai the magnificent to swoop in and save her. It’s up to us to find them!” Kai was far from the team captain of Squad 4, but here in the forest, it seemed like he was far and away the most passionate about their current mission.
“Kai!” Ren snapped his head at Kai with almost as much quickness as he did when he swung his blades, eyes glaring at his squadmate. “We aren’t here so you can get lucky. Keep your eyes on the prize.” The coldness in his eyes refocused on the mesh of trees in front of him. “Once we have secured our passage into the next round, then we can pursue personal missions.” Maybe, to Kai, that meant finding a voluptuous kunoichi to serenade or fondle, but for Ren, that meant getting his hands on a certain Senju.
That they had made it to the forest wasn’t a miracle, they’d had time to prepare for it and they weren’t exactly slouches in the department of genin ability; what had been a miracle was that they made it with someone like Kai having his mind on anything other than the task at hand. Mai knew better than anyone how...singular minded her brother could be and how incorrigible he was besides; if anyone was to jeopardize their opportunity it would be him. “Don’t tell him to keep his eye on the prize; his prize is some stupid fantasy like that.” Mai was already coming close to sighing like a disappointed parent and they’d been in the forest all of a minute. “We’ re not here to save anyone, we’re here to get what we need and get to the end. The quicker the better. We find some squad stuck in the nerves and fear of the situation, we take them out, we let nothing stop us from getting through, agreed?”
“What, like rush ourselves through the thing? Why would we do that? It’s a beautiful forest, we can take it slow. This is a great place for me to serenade someone!” Kai was protesting rather quickly, but he knew he was going to be overwhelmed. There was no way he could stop and smell the roses if they had to get in, and get out fast. Kai had to think of something, and fast. Knowing that his sister would push hard for the stealthy approach, Kai figured now was his chance to try a last ditch effort style play. With only one option, Kai figured he had to go for the pride. “Y’know, Jiren, if we took our time and got two sets of scrolls, I bet it’d really solidify us as the top squad vs Squad 1.” Maybe it was Kai’s lucky day.
It bothered him beyond his own comprehension just how sound Kai’s logic was. To Ren, Kai had always been something of a moron who followed nothing more but what fell beneath his waist and who was often emboldened by Shion-Sensei’s attitude, which was always a questionable, enabling dynamic. But right now, as he weighed what he knew right in what Mai had said and what would get him to the end goal he personally wanted to pursue, which aligned with Kai’s suggestion. On one hand, he knew Mai’s route was more efficient and wouldn’t complicate them in any regard, but the longer he sat with the unresolved feelings dwelling in his heart, it froze everything else out, making the choice all too clear for him.
Cocking a smirk, Ren cracked his knuckles. “Sometimes, Kai, there’s a method to your madness,” Ren said chuckling. Not once did he ever see himself uttering those words out loud.
“No, no there isn’t a method, and I expected better from you, Ren, than to get swept up in his nonsense.” What was it about these two and their pointless pursuit of excess and pointless risk taking? It was an arrogance thing, for sure, why they couldn’t just be satisfied at being the first team to succeed which was a feat in itself was beyond her. Being a ninja wasn’t about showing off or chasing pointless squabbles under the guise of pride or whatever, but that seemed to be all the boys of the squad cared about, much to Mai’s eternal chagrin. They might call it being overly strict or unfun or any number of negative terms, but to Mai it was more like having to wrangle two rowdy children who never learned their lesson. She was far too young to be a mother but she clearly couldn’t even rely on sensei given her brother’s ‘lucky charm’ so if that’s what she would have to act like then so be it.
“If you idiots - because that’s what you’re acting like - want to keep being idiots and risking everything because you’re godsdamned idiots then be idiots AFTER we advance. You do know this is an exam, right? Which means they’re probably watching us and no chuunin ever became a chuunin by taking selfish, pointless risks! Think with your brain having head for a change, Kai.” Mai was frustrated and her team would have to deal with it.
“You don’t know what comes after this, why would you bother risking everything on some pointless endeavour? It doesn’t make you or us better by wasting time and seeking out unnecessary conflict. What you’re doing is going against orders for no good reason. If you two idiots ruin my chance at this, not only will I never forgive you, but I’ll ensure the both of you will never have the ability to infect the world with little versions of you. If you catch my meaning.” Of all the times Mai wished she had an apple or something to crush in her hands, this was certainly one.
“I don’t care if you have issues with another team, settle it somewhere else. We get there first, we’re still the team to beat. Kai, unless you have anything wise to say, shut up. And Ren, don’t listen to my idiot brother lest you become an even bigger idiot yourself. Now let’s go, no distractions. I want to pass.”
“We’re gonna pass anyway! We’re the strongest team,” Kai protested, dragging his hand along one of the trees. The fact they were as powerful as they were was part of the reason he wasn’t bothering with ‘stealth.’ What kind of shinobi was stealthy anyway? Stealth didn’t earn you style points with any voluptuous, bodacious babes. In fact, it’d do the opposite! If he was silent and sneaky all the time, then the Hokage — or worse, Shion-sensei — was going to take all of his credit! Being a shinobi was about being cool and flashy — silence stuff was for the ANBU black ops, not the cannon fodder.
“I’m thinking ahead of the game, sis. If we eliminate more than one team here, then there’s less people we’ll be competing with in the next part!” Maybe that logic could convince her. The more people they beat up the more chances he had to save stunning kunoichi from foreign villages. Kai had to keep his eye on the prize, which wasn’t really a Chunin jacket, but more importantly about becoming popular. If everyone knew his name, then it’d be way easier to get a date. The jacket was just an accessory to help with the goal. “C’mon, Mai, we’ve never had a real chance to test the limits of our abilities! This is it. We can make Shion-sensei proud.”
“Relax, Mal! Like Kai said, we’ll pass this exam, but!” Ren gripped the handles of his two swords with a clear feeling of anxiety, a feeling of impatience, but most importantly, Ren was excited. He normally didn’t have this thirst, but combined with his team and the singular goal of fighting that Senju from Squad 1 again was fueling his will of fire more than anything else could. “That doesn’t mean we can’t have our fun along the way!” He shot Kai a grin, taking his position next to the boy.
“If you think this will make sensei proud then you don’t actually listen to sensei at all.” Mai wasn’t willing to just accept this without putting her foot down, she wasn’t going to simply go with what her brother and Ren wanted - and if they thought this was some kind of majority rules thing then they would be sorely mistaken. “Think for one second. You’re suggesting we get four scrolls when we just need two and we have no way of knowing which team has which scroll. Your plan is to mess around, fail to impress anyone other than yourself, and act like the superior team by picking fights? You don’t have a plan, Kai, and neither do you Ren. But I do. Now here’s the thing. I have our scroll. Mai held up their scroll of earth and promptly deposited it back in her satchel. “So you two can go off on your pointless, stupid, time-wasting endeavour, but I won’t be going with you if you do. If you’re so confident in yourselves, then while I get the one scroll we need, you idiots can waste your time and get two and we’ll see who gets to the end first.”
“If I were you, Ren, I wouldn’t go with Kai. He’s just as likely to be lured into a trap because a girl is pretending to cry than he is to become a great ninja.”
Ren laughed, choosing not to say anything in response to what Mai just said. Instead, as he readied himself for the final takeoff, he glanced at his team. With a deep breath, he glanced at the two. “With us around, there’s no way that’s going to happen.” Ren was convinced that he and Mai could guide Kai away from obvious traps. And if not, well then they’ll have to pick up his slack.
“It’s not a race sis, geeze. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to want to have some action. But fine, whatever… We’ll do it your way, okay? We’ll just rush through the thing with minimal cool moments.” Kai huffed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Didn’t she understand the problem with something like that? He wasn’t going to have a chance to run into any shinobi girls at this rate… “I’m just as strong as you are, sis, we’re like the strongest Konoha team and we’re gonna have to slink around the forest like a bunch of… a bunch of cowards. If we run into more than one team, we’re fighting them! Maybe we’ll just end up with two sets of scrolls through luck...” After all, Kai did have his lucky charm.
And so, with a grumbling Kai, Squad 4’s plan was set in stone.
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