All y'all finishing your fights like "Yeah, I'm Pumped. It's Surfer time!"
Iris be all like "PlzNoImHurt"
Technically Superman finished his fight like "Gurgle gurgle glub glub" as he sank into the river.
AndyC Member
Guardian of the Universe
- Last Seen: 30 min ago
- Joined: 10 yrs ago
- Posts: 1045 (0.28 / day)
- VMs: 1
-
Username history
- AndyC 10 yrs ago
-
Latest 10 profile visitors:
-
Most recent →
Half Pint,
Hound55,
Cyberlad,
mickilennial,
Ezekiel,
Master Bruce,
PrinceAlexus,
Pilatus,
Chronic,
MST3K 4ever
Status
User has no status, yet
Bio
Opinionated nerd for hire.
Most Recent Posts
Technically Superman finished his fight like "Gurgle gurgle glub glub" as he sank into the river.
I personally am of the opinion that the most important addition to the Season 2 banner should be the characters who speak only in hidden text. #MxyForBanner
<Snipped quote by Retired>
... shit. I better Google "how to snap a pool cue over your knee three ways."
I heard three-way. I am here to apply.
SOMETIMES I THINK IT'S PRETTY APPROPRIATE THAT OUR BOY CURRENTLY SINKING TO THE BOTTOM OF THE RIVER WAS RAISED BY A FARMER. AND I DON'T MEAN BECAUSE IT GIVES HIM THAT PLUCKY, NORMAN ROCKWELL, SALT-OF-THE-EARTH, CAN-DO AMERICAN SPIRIT. I MEAN BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY INDICATIVE OF WHAT HE DOES TO YOU.
SEE, THE EXTERNAL INTELLIGENCES, THE THOUGHT-FORMS AND ANIMATE CONCEPTS YOU CALL 'GODS' AND 'DEMONS' AND WHATNOT, THEY ONLY HAVE A COUPLE OF REASONS TO LOWER THEMSELVES BY COMING TO THESE MOTES OF DUST POPULATED BY SHAMBLING MEAT-THINGS. THERE ARE THINGS THAT PREY DIRECTLY ON THE PSYCHIC ECHOES GENERATED BY SUFFICIENTLY SENTIENT BIO-MASS-- THAT'D BE YOUR 'SOUL' IF YOU'RE THE RELIGIOUS TYPE-- AND THEY FIND WAYS TO WRENCH THEM OUT OF YOU. TYPICALLY PAIN OR VICE ARE THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHODS, BUT YEAH, IF YOUR SOUL IS A RICH GOLDEN STALK OF WHEAT, THEN YOUR AVERAGE GOAT-HORNED IMP OR NAMELESS HORROR WITH MORE TENTACLES THAN BRAINS ARE THE MURDER OF CROWS CIRCLING AROUND TO PECK AT IT.
ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU'VE GOT YOUR GUARDIAN ANGELS, YOUR DEVAS AND SPIRIT GUIDES, THE BENEVOLENT POWERS-ON-HIGH THAT KEEP THE THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT AT BAY. THEY PROTECT YOU, AND ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS, AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IN RETURN IS FOLLOW THE RULES THEY HAND YOU IN A LITTLE BLACK BOOK. WHY DO YOU THINK THEY DO THIS? DOES THE FARMER SCARE AWAY THE CROWS AND GAS THE INSECTS AND SHOOT AT RABBITS WITH A SHOTGUN BECAUSE HE LOVES HIS WHEAT FIELDS? YOU THINK HE WANTS TO HAVE A DEEP, PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS CORN AND HIS CARROTS? YOU THINK HE HAS A SPECIAL PLAN FOR HIS POTATOES BEYOND 'GROW AND EAT THEM?'
GOD DOESN'T LOVE YOU, YOU CHUMPS. GOD FARMS YOU.
WHICH BRINGS ME TO OUR LITTLE BOY BLUE, AND ALL OF THE JOHNNY-COME-LATELYS THAT SPRUNG UP IN HIS WAKE. EVERY SO OFTEN I SEE YOU NERDS GO ON ABOUT HOW THEY'RE THE NEW 'PANTHEON,' THE GODS AND MONSTERS OF MYTH FOR THE MODERN TIMES, SYMBOLS OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE AND HOPE AND FREEDOM AND YADDA-YADDA-YADDA. IT'S SUCH EASY RELIGION, TOO. NO COMMANDMENTS, NO DOGMA, NOBODY GETTING NAILED TO ANYTHING OR BLOWING EACH OTHER UP OVER A THEOLOGICAL DETAIL, THE ONLY SECTS BEING DERIVED FROM BRAND LOYALTY. AND THE ONLY PRAYER THEY HAVE TO ANSWER IS THAT THEIR STORIES ENTERTAIN YOU AND GIVE YOU ALL-THE-FEELS.
EVEN THEN, THE SUPER-FOLKS ARE FARMING YOU. THEY TAKE FROM YOU YOUR TIME AND THOUGHT, FUNNEL YOUR CREATIVITY INTO A STAGNANT AND FORMULAIC GENRE. THEY TAKE YOUR MONEY AS TITHES, WHETHER IT'S FIVE BUCKS FOR A FEW SHEETS OF PAPER--HALF OF WHICH END UP BEING ADS-- OR A FEW MORE FOR A TICKET TO WATCH A SOULLESS BILLION-DOLLAR CORPORATION TELL THE SAME STORY FOR THE TWENTIETH TIME IN A ROW. AND THAT'S NOT GOING INTO THE ACTORS AND DIRECTORS WHOSE CAREERS ARE SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF SPANDEX, TO BE KNOWN FOREVER FOR THEIR TIME RUNNING AROUND IN THEIR PAJAMAS. IT MAY LOOK LIKE THEIR MOUNTAINS OF TECHNICOLOR MERCHANDISE FORM A MONUMENT TO THE GREATER GOD OF COMMERCE, BUT THAT DOESN'T ACCOUNT FOR THE LOSERS AND FREAKS WHO TOIL AWAY MAKING THIS STUFF FOR FREE. JUST BY READING THESE WORDS, YOU'RE EKING OUT A FEW DROPS OF THAT SWEET IDEA-JUICE INTO THEIR BUCKETS. AND LIKE ANY THOUGHT-FORM ADOPTED BY THE MASSES, THEY WILL LIVE ON FOR GENERATIONS, HARVESTING THE CROPS THEY'VE SOWN IN THE MINDS OF CHILDREN.....AND OF FAT PATHETIC MAN-CHILDREN WHO THINK THEY'RE BEING MORE CLEVER THAN THEY REALLY ARE.
ANYWAY, POINT BEING: SUPERMAN IS A FARMER. AND YOUR BRAINS ARE HIS CROPS.
SPEAKING OF BRAINS, DID YOU KNOW THAT NEW STUDIES CLAIM THAT ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY CAN CAUSE SEVERE CASES OF MEMORY LOSS, CONFUSION, AND HEIGHTENED STATES OF AGGRESSION? AND THE BOY SCOUT JUST TOOK A FEW MILLION VOLTS RIGHT ACROSS THE FRONTAL LOBE. LEMME TELL YA, HE IS GONNA BE PIIIIIIISSSED WHEN HE WAKES UP, AND HE'S NOT GONNA KNOW WHY.
OH HEY, LOOKS LIKE HE'S COMING UP TO THE SURFACE. I'D BETTER DUCK OUT BEFORE HE SPOTS ME-- YOU NEVER KNOW JUST HOW MUCH OF THE SPECTRUM THAT X-RAY VISION OF HIS CAN ACTUALLY SEE, AFTER ALL.
<Snipped quote by Morden Man>
That man does love Dick.
Dear god it's started again.
I just hope MB doesn't delay Grayson's arrival for too long. It's always frustrating when Dick takes too long to come.
<Snipped quote by AndyC>
You know what’s even worse? They retconned literally all the Spider-Man stuff in ONE MORE DAY and left “Actually Gwen fucked Norman Osborn and had his babies” canon.
Oh, I know. That's why I honestly just pretend they stopped making Spider-Man comics about twenty years ago. Nothing good has come from that book in a long, long time.
Having a discussion with friends on Slack about ONE MORE DAY, and getting angry all over again. Might have to write a story about Gwen repeatedly kicking Mephisto in the balls
While One More Day was stupid and terrible, it never made me as blood-boiling angry as it does a lot of people. Sins Past, on the other hand.....
<Snipped quote by Lord Wraith>
You can't write a sex scene between Thor and the City.
Is that a statement, or a challenge?
<Snipped quote by AndyC>
Do we ever? Hulk's one of the cursed characters. No one who picks him up ever keeps him longer than an arc or two, and certainly never for a whole season. Much like Punishe-- oh.
Well, it still stands for Hulk.
To be fair, it's hard to really come up with interesting takes on the Hulk. It's either the old Jekyll-and-Hyde routine, or it deviates so far that it starts to become unrecognizable. And that's not even getting into all of his other multiple personalities.
<Snipped quote by Lord Wraith>
"We have a Hulk."
Wait, I don't think I used that right...
Especially since we actually don't have a Hulk.
© 2007-2024