Avatar of Benzaiten

Status

Recent Statuses

2 yrs ago
Woop! Shipden Peak RP has started. Can't freaking wait for this to unfold.
3 likes
2 yrs ago
The Witches of Shipden Peak RP is starting this week! I'm equally excited and nervous.
6 likes

Bio

💀 Welcome to this Hell Hole 💀
Also Known As
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Ben, Benji
(I'm a lesbian lady despite the odd name)


Age
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26 years


Birthday
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24 Feb


Country
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Germany


Languages
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English, German

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Roleplay Preferences
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I mostly enjoy writing in the Casual section of the guild. Character development and exploring character relationships motivate me. I like to really think myself into my character and their view on others and the world around them which is why I prefer to stick to one character per roleplay. I love world-building but I am also easily overwhelmed with very detailed concepts I haven't been met with before. So you could say I love a decent amount of world-building and prefer original builds. Once everyone has settled, expanding that world and its concept is a great way to create more depth and keep me as a player hooked as I love to discover new things!

My favorite genre is and has always been fantasy. I guess you could say I love escapism to a point where I like to flee the mundane world entirely. I also feel drawn to sci-fi roleplays but I have noticed that those usually intimidate me. I feel like I am not adept at writing about technology and all that sci-fi goodness so I mostly just pine over how awesome some OOCs look and never apply to them.

When it comes to fantasy I feel right at home. For my mind, it is much easier to grasp magical concepts and worlds than sci-fi ones. As a result of this, all the worlds I write up (be it here as a GM or elsewhere) tend to be fantastical in one way or another. I especially enjoy adventure RPs and witch RPs. I like to see new magical systems and am always eager to learn more about the worlds I RP in.

Additionally, all my characters are queer, always. Since I am queer myself and can't imagine playing straight ^^


Latest Roleplays
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Although the days of witch hunts are long past us, life isn't roses. While the upcoming election is threatening witches with a potential anti-witch politician claiming the title of president, unrest is stirring in the corners of the world. A rise in threats has been detected - unnatural beings, magical beasts, and other supernatural phenomena pull media attention and feed directly into an anti-witch campaign.

The Death Knight's Squire (GM)
A D&D One-Shot. A group of adventurers is hired to find the missing grandson of a wealthy couple visiting the town. He was taken by a mysterious knight who rode his horse into the deadly woods nearby, taking the young boy with him. But the knight is not a simple man, he is said to be a resurrected ghostly figure forever in search for a squire, kidnapping young boys who never return home.

Wandering Topside [1x1]
The Cult of the Dragon has come to Phlan, a lawless refuge on the Moonsea. Now, with no significant authority to stop the cult, other power groups in the Realms – the Harpers, Order of the Gauntlet, Lords' Alliance, and even the Zhentarim – must unite to stop the cult from fulfilling its dark purpose in the city. Meanwhile, Rhana, a drow rogue with a questionable past, and Salissa, a dhampir bard with flair, find themselves somehow involved in this as they tackle different missions aimed at stopping the cult.


Other Places of Interest
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This is just my character archive. I have recently reorganized it. I made a whole new thread for it, moved the CS I wanted to keep for memories sake over and am now less ashamed to have people stumble upon my creations.

How To Run A Multi-Arc RP (by BlueSky44 and Morose)
Some helpful tips on running and organizing your roleplay and what to do when your story is concluded. This should help you when running a multi-arc roleplay. You will also find some tips on setting up an Interest Check and OOC here.


Quirks
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I always write my IC posts in gray due to finding the white color pretty straining on the eyes.
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Most Recent Posts


Aïtana watched the woman closely as she began cleaning the spot on the carpet. She soon finished and began speaking to her as if they were long friends or had some kind of relationship that allowed for civil communication while one of them had been knocked out cold, kidnapped, and was tied to a chair.

Aïtana was ready to spit into Catarina's face - be it with words or fluids. Her words did nothing to impress her. They all felt like lies at this point, and even more so, they sounded pathetic in her ears. Admiring her morals. Who was supposed to believe that? Maybe someone from the council she had somehow gotten into her pocket? Aïtana had long believed that Catarina was hiding the full scope of who and what she was. Her suspicion was more of a gut feeling at first, a wariness. Be careful around that one, her instinct had warned her. And Aïtana had listened. Catarina was dangerous. She could deal with dangerous, she could even respect dangerous. What she drew the line at dishonest and pretentious.

Catarina got close to her, close enough so they could look into each other's eyes as her captor lowered herself to the floor. Aïtana wouldn't give her the pleasure to look away and cower. She stared straight into those eyes and searched for something she could work with. Was there doubt? Was there hatred? But she couldn't tell.

"Let's not pretend for one second that you want to stand across from me as equals. Your words don't phase me. I have the strong feeling one of us benefits more from this captive situation than the other, so don't come at me with this weak attempt of 'We both hate this situation equally, let's work this out' bullshit. If you find it so disgusting, I recommend taking a long look into the mirror. You might throw up from the very view you find in it." She wished she had free range with her feet to push the woman away from her position in front of the chair. "If you're trying the 'easy way' here, just to blame it on me once you start your torture, I'd suggest you cut to the act. Honestly, I never thought you were this naive to believe your victim-blaming would work on me. Have you read too many villain novels? Do you practice that speech in front of the mirror?"

She let out an unamused laugh. "Shall we unpack your traumatic childhood next as if that would excuse any of your actions? 'Oh I find kidnapping disgusting.' But didn't you just mention there was another person you have locked up somewhere in a cage? 'You wouldn't want someone else to get captured.' Are you really trying to blame your actions on a person tied to a chair? I'm sorry but your theater act isn't doing it for me. If you want to have a real conversation with me, I'll give you two hints. First: Do not call me darling. Second: Untie me. Meet me at eye level. Let's talk as equals. And don't use your corrupted, ungraceful spells to dominate someone else's body or mind." She wasn't ready to admit that she had not yet cracked how Catarina had captured her. Her memories of that moment hadn't fully surfaced yet. She knew that Catarina had surprised her. Not with her presence but with something else. Aïtana had dropped to the floor immediately, pain had been involved. But as far as she could tell, her body was uninjured now.

Aïtana braced herself for an incoming attack. She didn't know if Catarina was one to easily lose her temper, she hadn't seemed like it before. But now she was in her habitat, away from people, away from needing a mask. And Aïtana could not possibly know what hid underneath it.

In Avalia 3 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay


Time: 10:00 am
Location: Port Vanarosa, outside The Seagull → Ship
Interactions: @Helo Nym | @Potter Tigerlily | @Tae Lizzie | @Alivefalling Barboda | @princess Helio
Equipment:


Action in inventory: gained 30 amas by posting within 24h


As Éliane's attention lied on her best friend whom she was hoping to get together with soon enough to exchange their stories, she entirely missed Lizzie's flirtation towards the fairy prince. Her eyes were sparkling with joy. Having people around her that she knew felt so right. She hadn't noticed how desperately her heart had wanted to come home to someone, to see someone's eyes recognize her face and their lips turn into a smile for seeing her. Tigerlily and Nym had both given her that and she could not wait to talk to either of them in a more settled and calm moment. Right now everyone seemed filled with adventurous cravings and excitement. Her chest filled with joy and pride when Nym complimented her as a 'traveler with skills worth boastin’ of and a talent with words', a welcomed warm sensation after the rough news of last night.

Albeit missing Lizzie's flirt with Helio, she could've never missed the woman turning her attention to her and calling her "my dear". Her heart skipped once again for the woman's smooth words. But just as the rest continued to talk, she wondered what her place in this would be. Both Tigerlily and Nym seemed nothing but excited to join the red-haired captain in her pursuit of leading a glorious pirate's life. She trusted them both to keep Lizzie safe. Even though she had only met Nym once before, she felt a bond with him and hoped deeply that the trust she gave him without much reason was justified.

Confusion rose within her as she noticed Tigerlily's attention being drawn towards the prince. She couldn't detect any further interest coming from the prince himself but Éliane was sure that she saw something within Tigerlily, just for a second, that betrayed her composure. Did she know Helio Millenia? She made a mental note to ask her friend about it at a more suitable moment.

Tigerlily's remark on Lizzie's lack of equipment brought her back to the present. She needs to blend in better. In that moment, Barboda brought them back on track. He mentioned the Odds and Ends they should be visiting but announced he would return to the ship already to prepare. Éliane wasn't a paranoid person, far from it! But something about the tin man still icked her. Maybe she was being silly, overly cautious - also rather unlike her - but she couldn't help it. Something about not knowing who was behind that get-up made her suspicious. And not to forget, his introduction to her and Lizzie had been the murder of two light elves and an offer Lizzie couldn't deny. How utterly convenient to have just the thing someone you snuck up on needs.

As the group began to head towards the nearby Odds and Ends, Barboda was on his way towards the ship. Éliane hesitated. He would have enough time to sabotage the ship or to surprise them with an ambush. It could be a trap. Or it could be someone who just so happens to be telling the truth. Someone looking for someone to captain the ship. But what is his gain? She more than disliked her train of thoughts. Éliane always approached people openly. Kindness and an open mind were the best way to assure people were given a fair chance. She knew her suspicions weren't unjustified. He had murdered two people. He had likely murdered more. But he had also shown them proof of why he considered his actions necessary. And as much as Éliane was still against the execution, she had to remember that Lizzie could have very well been dead. Or captured. She herself could have been dead.

Her mind wouldn't allow her to come to a clear decision about this man. She looked at the group who was several feet away from her now, moving towards the Odds and Ends, and likely being certain she was following. There was no reason for them to think otherwise. She knows what she's doing. I hope... With a few half-run steps Éliane approached Lizzie from behind and softly grabbed her arm to stop her. As Lizzie turned around to look at her, she quickly withdrew her hand from the woman's arm and fished out a handful of coins from her amas pouch. "I'll go ahead to the ship. Consider this a thank you for... for not robbing me when you had the chance." Éliane took Lizzie's hand with one of hers and placed the coins into it with the other. She looked into her eyes and relished that sight for a few heartbeats as she held onto the now closed hand of the captain. With a smile and a nod she withdrew, turned and headed towards the ship Barboda had pointed out. He had already boarded the vessel.

”Hmm?” Lizzie turned and looked up at Éliane as the woman began speaking to her and handed her amas. ”Oh, well thank you.” She said as she pocketed the money and briefly glanced in the direction Barboda had gone then back to Éliane, finding it curious that the woman was about to follow the man it was clear she didn’t entirely trust. ”A brief warning for you, love. I understand that you do not trust him and you have a right to that, however, he is now a part of my crew. I do not take kindly to those that wish to harm someone of my crew.” Of course she didn’t know if that was Éliane’s intentions or not, but she would give the warning nonetheless. ”That also goes for you, I wouldn’t want to see you hurt either. Just think through your actions, fair?” She added as she gave her a sweet smile.

Éliane's face showed a frown for a couple of seconds. Harm someone of Lizzie's crew? Élaine had never had the intention to harm someone who didn't cause harm first. However much she wanted to release her pain and anger. She acted in defense and would only strike first if she assumed inevetable harm would come from a person. But of course Lizzie wasn't wrong. She had lifted her bow to Barboda's head and had been ready to plunge him to death with a sharp arrow as certain as her god Solaris was filling her fingertips with light.

With a smile and a nod Éliane withdrew. "You have my word." She was close to saying 'I don't want to see you hurt either'. She wanted quite the opposide. But instead, the elf turned and headed towards the ship Barboda had pointed out earlier. He had already boarded the vessel. Éliane couldn't make him out anymore.

Her steps took her father away from the place her heart longed to be. In her head she could see Nym and Tigerlily laughing while they were shopping. And Lizzie among them, growing more independent with every step she took. Éliane had long grasped that Lizzie wouldn't have needed her money and of course not her protection. But it felt right to leave her with at least something. A few coins more in her pocket wouldn't hurt, she guessed. For a moment Helio slipped into her brain. There was just something about him... She couldn't quite agree with him, something in her felt like she should keep her distance. But at the same time she felt drawn towards him, fascinated by him. She wanted to knew more, wanted to talk to him and understand who he was. He seemed like one hell of an interesting person to be around. Yet... that feeling she should be careful wouldn't leave her.

"Ay you!" Someone pulled on her arm roughly. Éliane's hand crashed into the person's crook of the arm, then the her fist slammed down onto the elbow. She was released within a fraction of a second. A gasp was heard, a painful whine. Éliane had her hand on the hilt of her sword, the other one up in front of her. Light was glistening at her fingertips. But it soon died down. Éliane eased her posture and let go of the hilt.

An old woman was lying on the floor. The blow to her arm had thrown her entirely off balance. "Oh, Solaris forgive me! I am so sorry. Are you hurt?" She gently helped the woman to her feet. Without hesistation Éliane grabbed into her backpack and offered the woman water from her water skin. "Are you in need of a medic, ma'am?"

"Foolish child", she woman coughed at her. She took the water and gulped half of it down before returning it to Éliane. Again, she grabbed her arm and pulled on it. This time Éiane let herself be pulled closer. She old wrinkled face was a map of age. She could not tell how old the demi-human was exactly but she guessed that this person had seen at least a hundred years. Her grey, foggy eyes told silent tales of hundreds more. "You are the one."

"I am what? Excuse me, ma'am, it is really nice to make your accquaintance, but I must disappoint you. I think you've got the wrong person. We have never me-"

"Silent, child." She dug her nails into Éliane's skin as she pushed her face even closer to the elf's. Éliane was trying hard to be polite and not pull back. The teeth of the woman had seen better days. She wasn't sure what the old lady wanted but she began to suspect that money was involved. "You are IT!", the woman suddenly exclaimed loudly, screaming into Éliane's face who couldn't help but jump.

"It, it, it, it, it", the woman sing-sang as she began to walk a few feet away and rummage in what seemed to be a pile of trash. Éliane saw a broken location finder, several rusty pots, some old and mostly broken jewellery, a ship's wheel, several wooden boxes that seemed to collect only dust... "There!" The woman had reappeared closely into Éliane's face, faster than she could comprehend. In front of her eyes something brown and blurry blocked her sight. "Pathfinder."

Éliane took the piece into her hand and held it further away from her eyes so she could focus on it. It was nothing but a... coin. A big coin. It was heavy and filled out almost her entire palm. She began to play with it, moving her fingers over and around it. It wasn't brown as she had thought, it was copper. One side of the coin showed a ship's wheel, above it the words Smooth Sailing were written into a banner. "Port of Ceros. 5 Coppers", Éliane read the words on the edge out loud. She turned the coin over. On the other side it showed a ship on sea. Above it within a banner it read the words Rough Seas. The words on the edge formed the sentence Trade Council Of The Narrows.

"Where is the port of Ceros? I have never heard of such a place. I have never seen it on a map." She was still turning the coin round and round in her hand, running her fingers along it. Something felt familiar and... right. "Who are the 'Narrows'?" As she looked up from the coin the woman was grinning widely at her. Her eyes were almost lost in her wrinkled face.

"You're the one", she repeated. "What does that mean?", Éliane asked. But the woman just nodded at her, turned around and began to walk away, humming an unfimilar melody. "Wait, hold up!" Éliane considered to go after her but something told her not to. "What is this coin? Who are you?"

But the woman was not listening and Éliane was still playing with the coin, unable to stop and unable to follow the woman. She dropped her gaze onto the object in her hand. "Trade Council Of The Narrows." She had absolutely no idea what this meant.

As Éliane began to walk, she continued to play with the coin. Her mind once again distracted, she thought to herself: 'I oughta be more careful with my daydreams. This is the third time today someone was able to snuck up on me. As far as records go, this is a personal best.'

Only after she began to hear the sound of wild, happy chattering did she perk up her head and notice where she had been walking towards. "Lizzie", she whispered under her breath as her eyes caught the red-haired woman alongside her crew. They had just left the Odds and Ends shop and were making their way towards the ship. Éliane felt something within herself that didn't make sense to her. For some reason, seeing Lizzie and the crew made her feel as if she was coming home from a long time away. Hadn't she just seen all of them a few minutes ago? How strange.

Instinctively, Éliane let the pathfinder coin slip away into a pocket. Then her eyes grew big as she managed to perceive more than just Lizzie's intense aura. "A PARROT!!!" She hurried forward and was by Tigerlily's side within a second. Her attention focused on the bird as she moved her finger towards it and it let her pet his little head. Animals just had a thing with Éliane. It had always been this way. "I'm gonna name you Knuckles. That alright, Knuckles?" The parrot chiriped at her and softly nibbled at Tigerlily's ear. Whether that meant yes or no, she didn't know. "Oh thank you so very much for saving him, Lily. My heart couldn't have bled more with such a beautiful, innocent creature sitting in a cage in a shop all day. No, you belong to the world, Knuckles! You are magnificent and you are free! I will honor every step of the way you choose to take with us." She petted the bird once more, creeping closely to Tigerlily and ignoring any other people around her. The bird had stolen the show. "What would a pirate ship be without a parrot? Right, Knuckles?"

Once Éliane had petted him a third time, she was finally ready to turn to the rest of the crew. Her eyes lingered on Lizzie for a moment. "Found anything worth spending money for?", she asked the crew.


Action in inventory:
loss of 205 amas (given to Lizzie)
gain of one pathfinder coin (strange gift)


Head of Office




"Hehehehe...hahahah!" The woman was laughing as she saw the child run around her. But she was just a child herself. Not more than fourteen years. The kid was making her dizzy. He was running round and round and round as she spun her body to keep her focus on him, pretending to throw her claws out at him, growling and hissing. "Aïtana! Aïtana!", the boy yelled her way as his body jerked away from her dangerous claws. "Aïtana!!" Suddenly his voice changed. She sounded angry now. The meadow was gone, they stood in a small wooden room. A kitchen. The stove was on. The water was boiling over. "Aïtana!", the same scream came at her again. The boy's amber eyes glared at her with malicious intent, with hatred and anger deeper than his 9-year-old soul should have been able to carry. "ARGHHH!", he screamed. A high-pitched ringing hit her ear, at the same time something burning hot sliced over her face. She screamed. She could hear herself scream. "Aïtana! Aïtana!" The boy was crying now. He sat beside her on the floor and shook her arm with his two small hands. Big tears were running down his face. "I didn't mean it. Aïtana!" The boy blurred before her eyes.

"Nikolai...", soft lips whispered from a clouded mind. "It's okay. I know. Nikolai...." Aïtana's eyes opened to a blurred intake of colors she couldn't place. Everything seemed gray... Her head felt heavy. She tried to pull her hand to her forehead but it was stuck. Aïtana let her head drop for a moment, her eyes closed. She felt sick to her stomach.

When she reopened her eyes and forced her brain to process her surroundings, the blur slowly lifted. She didn't recognize where she was. It was some kind of dark cold room. The walls were made up of gray stone. She saw bookshelves. A single entrance, the door closed.

She pulled on her arm again and this time it dawned on her that she wasn't simply stuck. She was tied up. Her mind began to understand that something had happened. Asess the situation, her logic commanded. She was tied up on her hands, her ankles and for good measure around her midsection. She could see. Her mouth was free, she could use her verbal magic. The stool she was positioned in seemed to be of simple wood. It stood close enough to the entrance. The door seemed to be made up of normal wood, it looked thick but at least it wasn't metal. She quickly took notice that she had no further belongings but her clothes on her body. Her eyes darted around the room. Books... so many books. A strange big stone circle stood on the opposite side of the room, opposite from the only exit she could make out. A desk. A cabinet. She would need to get out of the chair. The cabinet might hold something sharp enough to cut through the robes that tied her up. The desk might offer a letter opener. Not exactly a weapon but worth a try.

Aïtana took a breath. Her head still felt heavy. She didn't exactly have a headache. It felt more like the aftermath of a painful night. She was exhausted. Her body desperately needed fluid. Her mouth felt dry. How long have I been out for? It was impossible to say what time of day it was as the room proved to offer no windows. Underground, was her first explanation.

Aïtana almost yelped as the door flung open. Her eyes grew wide for just a second. Then her face was stone. She hoped the woman hadn't noticed. She thought she didn't. Before stood Catarina Loveti de Monte Scifo. The memory of sharp, unbearable pain all over her body resurfaced. The traitor began to talk to her. Aïtana would have loved nothing more than to knock her unconscious and throw her into the darkest cell they could find to leave her there to rot. Her suspicions had been proven right. If not before, then now beyond any doubt. Her captor began to light up the rooms with candles.

A loud crack almost made Aïtana jump. But she had felt the show of power, the attempt to scare her coming. Her heart might have jumped but her body had not flinched. She wanted her to talk? Aïtana gathered some strength and spit right in front of Catarina. Her eyes darted back into those furious orbs.

Concept: a court mage who is a trusted individual to the ducal couple. Her position in the court comes with the responsibility of moral inquisitions. She is responsible to advise the court and especially the ducal couple on the moral aspects of decisions due to the purity of her magical abilities. She also has a high standing within the executive branch and is asked to sit within some trials, give her opinion or advice, and oversee some of the more complicated cases.

Name: Aïtana Du'Vall
Race: Human
Age: 37
Appearance

Abilities
• Spells of Insight
Works as a hunch, a vague 'pull' or something that would lead them to have a gut feeling of "I should look there, I should hide, I should xy" and then they trust in that and it usually proves correct.

• Spells of Purity
Allows the user to tug at people's heartstrings and make them feel prone to speak their truth, their heart's desire, their true pain. Essentially, honesty. Requires focus and verbal use. Can be enhanced with specific catalysts.

• Spells of Audible Indunation
The ability to overwhelm someone's mind with voices. Requires focus, close proximity to the other person. Can 'ricochet' when someone uses a field with ricocheting ability. Useless against people with mind shields.

• Spells of Monocular Realization
The ability to make people see your own bodily features as however you want. This does not result in an actual change of bodily features, but instead, it works as a "filter" atop the real version. Can only be held for a short period of time. Limited to user's imagination and skills. Unlikely to be upheld during pain due to requiring some concentration. Needs consistency: If not consistent in color/shape/details/etc, the deceived can easily see through the filter. Weather Conditions: The illusion must be adapted during weather changes, this includes for example when the user gets wet, they need to remember to change the illusion to someone who is also wet. (This can be done subconsciously.)


Drive: Honesty and Justice
Belief: “The laws enabled by the court protect the citizens' human rights and the court's system and branches enforce a just execution of those laws to ensure justice and safety.”

Characterization notes
- Values fairness, the law, and justice.
- Trusts in the ducal couple and the established justice system
- Has become the unofficial official symbol for morality (meaning that the officials - such as the court - use her as a symbol for their morality but it is not officially claimed that she's their symbol)
- Has a slightly deeper voice that has been described as enticing, seductive and soothing.

Personality
As someone holding a lot of responsibility and trust, Aïtana is very much aware of the power she holds and strives to treat it with respect every day. Due to her valuing justice and fairness so highly, she holds herself to a high standard. She can not fail. Failing would mean to not just make a 'mistake' but it would have significant impacts on other people's lives. Being fully aware of this, Aïtana is not always the most relaxed person. She tends to sit through court sittings with a frown on her forehead and tension in her upper back. Due some poor choices in the past, Aïtana certainly doesn't lack a package of guilt she carries around with her. The fact that she has become a public symbol for moral standards weighs heavily on her.

Aïtana believes certain types of magic that want to harm or control people to be a disease that plagues the heart and soul and can corrupt good people. She would compare it to drug use. You try it, you begin to balance a slippery slope and it gets you addicted and pulled in further and further. Until it begins to control you, corrupt your own ideas and morals and your soul. People who go down this road can be seen as the victim. But at some point, when they become a threat to society, they have to be seen as the enemy of the court.

In these instances, Aïtana would suggest moving against those who cause harm to others with force even if it might mean their death. Where trials are seen as a just opportunity to determine someone's guilt or innocence, Aïtana believes that at a certain point of harm or treason the trial comes secondary - the safety of the citizens comes first! And if that means to end someone's life, then so be it. Although it does pierce her heart and she'd rather save a life and save a victim.

Breaking the law for selfish gain is something Aïtana can't see. She believes in the system and in the peace their city enjoys. This peace as well as everyone's human rights can only be protected if those who break the laws see their rightful punishment. In cases of self-defense, desperation or survival, Aïtana sees the breaking of a law - depending on the criminal charge - more as a reaction to a different problem and would speak in support of the person to be granted help of some kind instead of punishment.


Occupation/Position: Advisor on Moral Issues (Member of the Court)

History

The rest of the drive continued in silence. Rhiannon tried to use the time to sort a bit through her thoughts but every time she made an attempt to categorize or evaluate her emotions, Lisa's words, Lisa's actions... she felt tears burning behind her eyes. So she gave it up for now. It wasn't that Rhiannon was afraid of crying and she wasn't holding back because of Lisa either. But she knew if she started now, she wouldn't stop until they had sorted through it at least roughly and she could fall back into her wife's arms.

So the silence stretched out between them as Rhiannon watched the street pass by once again. Would it have been different if she had told her yesterday? Or a year ago? Would it have made a difference? Yes. Rhiannon truly believed it would have. She should have told her from the start. Secrets in a relationship were bound to rot the fruits.

She glanced over at her wife who was focused on the road. Her fingers itched with the need to reach out and just touch her. To just know that they would be fine. It was a ridiculous thing: Lisa had made her feel bad and hurt and the only person Rhiannon wanted comfort from about it was... well, Lisa.

As the building complex drew closer, Rhiannon pulled down the mirror above her seat and tried to fix her hair. It still looked a goddamn mess but at least it wasn't halfway hanging off anymore. So much about that hairdo...

Very unlike them, the two wives parked the car, entered the facility and went through all security checks without speaking another word. There was no quick kiss when they parted. Lisa making her way to engineering and Rhiannon heading straight to the experiment chamber. "Gentlefolks", she greeted the room full of people. Some of the workers looked up to greet her with a nod, many motioned a hello in their way and some greeted her by her maiden name, as was usual in the lab.

Rhiannon didn't show her displeasure of the 10 supervisors in her lab on her face but her wife would know. And so would most of the people they had worked with for years. They knew Rhiannon Windsor well enough to understand she didn't like the external supervisors and she would not like 10 more than she did 4. "I can't mind. My contract doesn't permit me", she joked riskily with dripping sarcasm. The one who had spoken to her laughed, some others chuckled - rather uncomfortably - but many stayed silent and dead-faced. "I would ask to know every detail of what you are about to do with your fine equipment though if you please. It is of great importance that my wife and I know of every item coming in and out of this room to include all variables and factor in all possible interferences. You see, the portal is a very remarkable yet somewhat unstable thing. I'd like to prevent any accidents."

"Oh hold up right there!" Lisa's words sparked newly lit anger and frustration within the physicist. Who was this new version of her lovely wife? Who stood before her and acted this way? "All those long hours without sleep for days on end. All those sleepless nights, struggling with the roadblocks we've struck." She repeated the words Lisa said back to her. "But not one of those nights you let me in? Not one of those long work days you sat down with me and told me what was going on in your mind? 'I've done these tests a number of times throughout the years.' But not once you thought to include me? Your wife?! Your partner on this project?!" Rhiannon shook her head at her wife, now with more force. She stepped back as she ran her hand through her hair and in the thoughtless process pulled down almost half of it. She pointed her hand at Lisa as she continued. "Can you imagine my shock?"

A laugh escaped her. It sounded almost hysterical, deprived of all joy but soaked in desperate emotions. "Oh I am very SORRY", she spat at her. "That your schedule of how long you wanted to keep me out of the loop didn't go according to plan."

Rhiannon threw her hands in the air and began to pace again. As Lisa suggested she might stay on the project, Rhiannon spun around to glare her down. Rhia was seldom this angry and she rarely ever raised her voice. She preferred to have civil conversations over senseless fights. This was unlike her. "I don't want you to try and stall anything and I certainly don't want you meddling with my job." The woman closed her eyes and let the darkness that came with it soothe her anger. She was trying her best to regain control over her own emotions. When she reopened her eyes, her face showed the scars of her pain. "I dislike the time and place you chose to have this conversation. I don't wanna engage further in it. I have enough emotions to deal with while facing the supervisors now. We will talk about this back home."

Rhiannon didn't wait for Lisa to give her an answer. She had said she wouldn't talk about this issue further in the current situation and she meant it. She pulled the car door open, got inside, and pulled it close with slight force. When her wife joined her in the vehicle her voice had lost some of its sharpness. "I don't know what you were thinking you were doing or why you would think keeping any secrets from me would benefit me or us down the line. But I love you and I need you to know that, even now. Especially now. I want to understand where you are coming from but you broke some trust and I don't agree with the actions you took without me. You could have made me your partner. You could have made us a team. But you chose not to. And I will need to digest that. Who we are as wives and the respect we pay each other wasn't what I thought it was. I will bring it back up once I had some time to clear my head and sort my thoughts. I'd ask you to respect that and refrain from continuing the conversation until then."

Rhiannon felt dumb. If anything of her feelings wasn't just a mix of anger, betrayal, sorrow, and pain, it was the feeling of being a fool. But she knew she didn't have to. No one would think her a fool. Least of all her own wife. Yet, she couldn't suppress the rising notion that for someone this brilliant she had been incredibly stupid.

"You went through our contract...", she whispered in disbelief as Lisa carried on with her words. Words that didn't make sense to Rhiannon. Her wife sounded nothing like her wife. All of this felt so foreign. Had she been dating someone who was overly paranoid for over a decade and not known? Had she not known Lisa?

But then the woman bit her lower lip like she always did when she was nervous and Rhiannon's heart dropped. Of course she knew her wife. And she knew her wife was desperate and scared. Rhiannon stepped closer to her with her hand reaching out to squeeze Lisa's arm. No matter what this was, they would work through it.

Her eyes widened as Lisa confessed about the phones. Excitement ran through her body before the betrayal of being left out could catch up. "It worked? It works?!" But more than these two words were not meant to be. Lisa continued to confess her sins while Rhiannon's emotions sank deeper and deeper. Not only had the device worked... but she had not been a part of that discovery. She had not even been involved. She hadn't known. This was a trust so deeply broken Rhiannon couldn't handle thinking down that path right this minute.

A line of thought went through her brain heavily. As if it was clawing at the sides of a tunnel it didn't want to go down. Running deep scars into the sides with every step it took forward. "5 years ... hoped they would free us". What was going on? "[...] convince them of the opposite of what we know". "W-Wait", Rhiannon stuttered. Her voice was small now, cracking. This conversation was draining her energy fast and burning through all kinds of emotions even faster. "You -" The words couldn't form on her tongue. They stuck to her throat. Bitter and thick. Like slime. "You sab-... You sabotaged our project?" Hot, acid tears were welling up Rhiannon's eyes as the idea of the thought burnt into her mind. "You sabotaged -" Me, she wanted to say but couldn't bring the word across her lips. This simple little word. It broke something within her. A lump stuck in her throat.

Omelets and kisses. She wished herself back to them. But no. Rhiannon never wished for less information. As much as it hurt, shutting your eyes from what was uncomfortable wasn't the way. She shook her head slowly, looking down as she attempted to keep her rising emotions at bay. The side of the street was not the place to have this conversation. But by god, she couldn't keep a straight posture for much longer.

Her wife, her partner in crime, the person she trusted most in the world had betrayed her, excluded her, endangered them both, and kept secrets. For a decade. She went through our contracts like some secret agent.

Rhiannon stared at her wife as she talked and with one word after the next threw daggers at her happiness. Piercing the mental bubble she had build around their lives. She listened silently with a sad expression creeping onto her face. She couldn't have done anything else. What was she supposed to say to all this?

As her wife finished her long monologue of destruction, Rhiannon turned away. She took a few steps, turned around, and took a few more. She began pacing for a moment. Maybe multiple minutes as her mind tried to wrap around the decay of her worldview. This felt like a wrong reality. Like a warped version of her life.

She finally turned back to her wife and looked straight at her. "I believe you." She nodded, more to convince herself than Lisa. The scientist stepped closer to the dark-haired woman in front of her. "I don't want to. But I will." She positioned herself next to Lisa, leaning against the car's front. "I don't really know what to say to this. But maybe I'll start with: What the heck, Lisa?! You come at me with all of this in the car?! And so close to the facility! Why haven't you told me this yesterday? Why haven't you told me this morning? You know what? What the heck! Why didn't you tell me a month ago? Or, I don't know, ten years ago." Rhiannon's expression began to change from sadness to something more. There was a deeper feeling underlying the anger that she felt on top of it. A painful pull in her heart. "I thought we were a team. And don't you dare bullshit me about 'protecting me'. You could have told me in college. You could have talked to me before we signed! After we signed. Any day, any year as we were working on the project. You could have told me when you decided to copy our work. Which, by the way, is a criminal offense according to our contracts! That you also haven't told me! You have been endangering yourself, me, our jobs, our project and you didn't think to tell me?" She pushed herself off the car and began to pace again. The feelings tumbling inside her were too hectic to keep standing still. Her mind was racing, trying to process all that was happening. Trying to put her reality together with the reality her wife seemed to have experienced. "I can't believe you've been operating behind my back. I never thought.... I never thought you had secrets from me."

As the anger lifted, the deep sorrow reappeared, visibly dancing across her expression and taking its bow. "That wasn't fair of you. This is not something you do alone. Not something you do behind your wife's back. And you don't spring such news onto me right before work, at the side of the road, ten minutes from entering that building." Her hand gestured vaguely towards the facility. "You could have picked a better time and place for this." The woman let out a big sigh and rubbed her fingers over her forehead. That headache was coming back again.

"That isn't to say I don't believe you. I am not happy but I do have a functioning mind, mind you." Rhiannon looked at her wife's expression. The woman who loved her most hadn't been honest with her. For over a decade. "What do you now propose we do? Wait for them to take all of our work? Then leave silently and - what? - live the rest of our lives selling marmalades?" She shook her head and put those fingers back to her forehead. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to snap. This is a lot. And frankly, we don't have the time to discuss this. We're being late. I guess it's better than telling me after we get fired."

Rhiannon pulled her hands over her face, dragged them down her eyes and lips and chin. "So why are you telling me now? What has changed? Are you proposing a plan of action?"
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