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Recent Statuses

2 mos ago
Current Absolutely fucking not
4 likes
2 mos ago
Real
1 like
4 mos ago
Everything is AI because plagiarism is profitable and because people think we’re in a dark age where skills like art and writing haven’t been democratized to hell and back for decades already
4 likes
5 mos ago
Shoutout to all the gay mfs for being remembered by corporate America for a month
6 likes
5 mos ago
i forgot like half of you until you existed on my profile again lmao. you know what we have dms for this sorry mods
3 likes

Bio



I invented necromancy and the windmill. I beat the sun in a poker match during the summer of 1273 and God hasn't felt the same since.


Most Recent Posts

Layla fuckin changing Apparitions like an influencer changes outfits

Location: Who the Fuck is Baldur
Skills:
WHAT. THE. FUCK.





That was easy.

Leah turned his ass into fucking chopsticks with that swing, as if he were made of butter. Blood sprayed everywhere, and surprisingly, Leah didn't care that much. She'd seen worse before. With that being done, she reared her axe back up over her shoulder and planned to get back into the fight to do it again, but then the voice behind the glass became clear. It wasn't some NPC, it wasn't Ed, unfortunately. No, it was none other than their friend who had gone off on her own adventure, somehow in here with the. Mai. Fuck, how did Mai get in here? Was this some kind of trick? Did Ed know that they were good friends? Or had he somehow trapped her in here as well?

A mix of fury and confusion filled her as she dropped the axe and hauled on the glass enclosure. Her fingers dug in between the seems of metal and the wall and she managed to pry the damn thing open. Leah didn't even bother to verify whether or not it was actually Mai in there, or some fucking shapeshifter, before backpedaling out of arm's reach. "Don't fucking move. How do we know you're not a trick Ed put in here?" She asked, picking her axe back up. "How did you get in here?


Lady Blade dropped from the ceiling. To Terraformer's credit, he reacted as quick as he could. Wiseman was already diving in the direction of his knife in case she jumped him first, but Lady Blade got a cheap swing in at Oracle. Of the three present, she was the least equipped to last long in this fight. Terraformer could protect himself with the environment, and Wiseman himself could use his weapons and his knowledge of Lady Blade to his advantage. But Oracle could only use flashes of inspiration for the chance of standing up. So when he hit the floor, Wiseman rolled over his shoulder and brought his Stasis Blaster up to eye level. It was instinct for the longest time, tilting the weapon slightly just enough to look past the scope. Lady Blade barely got the chance to finish her taunt before Wiseman fired off three shots, each with the individual potential to drop a target's body temperature to a debilitating level. He armed for her feet, hoping to immobilize her.

She was a hardened fighter who could kill any of them right now if allowed. If this wasn't enough to stop her, he'd just aim for the chest and not let up.

"Oracle! Knife!" He shouted, referring to the electrified blade he stuck in that robot. Oracle could get to it if Wiseman just laid into Lady Blade, and she'd be in a better position to defend herself.






Unsurprisingly, what followed was just a whole lot of empty words from the humans. "team bonding" this, "plants and fungus" that. Of course Mire was aware of the difference between the two kingdoms, they were a fucking kingdom of fungus on legs. If these humans had the cognitive function to understand that Mire was referring to the "pyramids'" nature as Leftovers, just them. The things that these humans were afraid of and yet kept in little boxes like pets. The human in the lab coat at least tried explaining itself better than the others, and on some level it made sense and was a window into the thought process of a human. This was just to get them into shape to actually do their "job," apparently.

"Cooperation is a funny word that all of you humans keep expecting me to understand," Mire commented, towards Emily. "Cooperate while we put you in this box of metal and plastic and gawk at you for a few sunrises. Cooperate so we can stab you with pieces of metal and rip you apart to "study" you, whatever that meant for them. Cooperate so we can put you on some metal tube and take you far, far away from your home so we can make you be a "hero." The word left Mire's guttural approximation of a mouth with some inflection that humans might use to portray disgust. They were pissed off, being here, if it wasn't totally obvious.

"Fine, I'll look for these things. Fine, fine." Without another word, Mire's body warped and sputtered until they were more liquid than solid. Mire turned around, took a few steps and then melted like a statue made of wax, draining into the soil beneath their feet and then vanishing from sight.

Interactions: Sloane, @Atrophy Kenshiro, Greyson @AtomicEmperor
The House on the Hill



Jack allowed Greyson to beam the images of his proof into his mind. Perhaps there was a possibility that he’d do something strange to Jack’s head- Something he surmised would be a challenge- but Jack didn’t feel that unsure of Greyson’s loyalties. He was always a snake, but he was always their snake. So he paid close attention to the details.

Meetings with 8th Street, Blake Schmidt’s face, Kari’s notes being magically incapable of translation. Good starting points, all of it.

”You’ve improved since the old days,” Jack commented towards Greyson’s display. ”I believe you.”

"Why, so someone else can get their hands on her notes to sell for profit? I know the ways of your bōryokudan; you'll not convince me of your good intentions without assurances on your life that those notes will remain confidential and out of your reach!"


”Kenshiro,” Jack turned and looked him directly in the eyes. ”If anyone has a chance of translating those notes, would it not be you? Your closeness to Kari puts you in an advantageous position, does it not? We can recover the notes and translate them ourselves.”

Greyson and Tayla claimed that Luna could be trusted. Between the two of them, it wasn’t hard to tell what Luba was thinking.

”Fine,” he said. ”If-“

The door flew open, and Jack almost tore Sully’s head off as he came in shouting like a fucking cowboy. Something about that made Jack’s skin crawl for a second as his face scrunched up in a copious lack of amusement. And then he fuckimg threw the Chalice at Sloane, who didn’t catch it. Jack beat down the urge to shout at him, and just picked the magic cup off of the floor as Sully came in blasting people with the healing elixir from water guns.

”Second chances. Second chances,” he muttered to himself.

And then, Jack tried to change the subject back to something that wasn’t that. ”…If Anya can sneak into his dreams, then what should the rest of us do?” He asked Greyson, walking over and politely handing the Chalice to Sloane instead of throwing it at her like a barbarian… With an ominous black smudge on the rim of the cup just in case Sully happened to be fucking drunk right now. He clearly had a better understanding of this than most of them. ”8th Street may be actively reporting to him, they could attack us again in the meantime.”
Commander.Sirus


N/A | Sirus | He/Him
"And the heavens wept, for they know not the extent of us who live and die."


Description:
Sirus is a machine created by Connor Bray, a former member of the Sycamore Tree Coven. He was known to be one of the best weaponmasters of the coven, standing shoulder to shoulder with Goro Hatanaka as a source of powerful artifacts. But Connor's orange and gold Lux also produced many free-thinking entities that served as foot soldiers in the war against the Stygian Snake. Out of everything that he ever created, the metal commander who named himself Sirus was his greatest work. Sirus was a member of the coven just like him, as intelligent as the the more scholarly people among them and far more empathetic than his progenitor. A heartfelt counselor to those who reeled from the traumas of the fight, and a staunchly levelheaded voice in heated discussions, Sirus was a beacon of idealism to his flesh-and-blood friends. And of course, his preference for civility never stopped him from beating the brakes off of Apparitions alongside the heavy hitters of the coven, such as Aryin Thorne and Drake Blackmore.

In the aftermath of the battle, Sirus made it a point to tally up the dead and give them some semblance of last rites. Along with Connor, they worked to ensure that the house was cleaned, so to speak, and that no more minions of the Snake lingered. They remained in St. Portwell for another year, in which Sirus worked to find families of the deceased and put matters to rest. And after that, the two of them said their goodbyes and left. They had their own unfinished business to attend resolve, which Sirus cryptically described as "putting down a ghost that will not stay dead." No one in St. Portwell has seen the noble machine or his creator since the day they departed, but Sirus assured them that, one day, he would return. With or without Connor by his side.


Abstraction: Abominable - Steel Commander
Sirus was created by a masterful blend of red, gold and orange Lux. As such, he is a unique mix of artifact and minion-based magic, given presence by elemental power. He is made of solid metal from head to toe, and built to withstand blows from brutally strong paranormal entities. He has enough strength in one arm to crash through brick walls, and his emotional-field grants him a strong durability against most forms of offensive magic. Because he was created by an Adept with an absurd affinity for automaton, Sirus can also use a minor form of orange and gold Lux to create, or intuitively operate things created by Connor Bray. This includes every weapon the Adept has ever invented, and all of the mechanical drones he used during the battle against the Stygian Snake. These constructs are magically linked to Sirus, allowing him to communicate and command them telepathically.
Jack, always the stalwart hero. :>


The fact that I can’t tell if this is sarcasm or not is funny to me
Turns out that Luna would’ve had a better chance of getting along with Jack if she didn’t try and yoink members of the coven for the mafia

Greyson had the right idea by doing not that lmao

Interactions: Luna, Kenshiro, Edict
The House on the Hill



“Ah. Why don't we just be honest here, Jackie, and say what's really on your mind? You just don't like me, do you?”


”Of course not. But you should know better than-“

“What, you thought I'd forget your little stint with Layla?”


Jack could’ve disemboweled her right then and there. What did she know about the Void Heart? About what it did to his friend? But unsurprisingly, Luna persisted, pushing Layla into a verbal corner.

”Leave her be, we have more important things to worry about.” God, how did Luna even get invited to this meeting?

“You know she deals with worse than the Void Heart now, yes? I've dealt with them directly, so you can't call me out on my bullshit. Little Voidy was a soul-sucker. But the new breed you unleashed?”

“Humans. Raw, half-alive, screaming. That's what they eat. With pleasure. That's what you did to her. What you released onto the world.”


”The Void Heart killed people. If you did care enough to do something about it, you would know that, but you only mentioned it because your plan is too good that be true.” Adora was exactly right, the fucking mafia wasn’t just going to play nice with them.

And then Kenshiro finally caught up with him, coming in advocating for the nuclear option of an all out attack. It made sense, they did have very little choice right now. But Jack didn’t think they were that desperate. Adora began poking more holes in Luna’s plan, asking for proof. Jack would’ve mentioned that any proof a mafia child like her would present could be fabricated, but Leon and Greyson walked through just before he could.

"Woah, woah! Fiiiirst off, my client pleads the fifth, whatever the hell we missed. But, if it's what I think it is, I have proof, taken directly from a head privy to the information firsthand. And I'm happy to disclose anything, so long as you guys are gonna give me a fair shot at explaining."


”You invited her here?” Jack, as it turned out, was far more willing to take the word of a mafia child who didn’t spy on them and try to recruit the rest of them as kids. ”…Alright, what do you have?”


Nora Foster
Interactions: The Sycamore Tree Coven
The All-Verse


”I can make things for Apparitions, yeah,” Nora said, answering the scruffy looking girl. ”Generally speaking, it’s less a matter of what I can put together and more a matter of how long I have to do it. Some things take longer, depending on specifics like the size or raw power of something. If I really wanted to, I could make a whole car out of scrap that split open wormholes. Granted, it could take a whole year, but that’s the kind of thing I’m capable of.”

Nora didn’t have a clue who this Kari person was. She just smiled and nodded at the people who acknowledged her. ”Should I… Actually be standing here for this? Sounds personal.” To her credit, Nora didn’t seem phased by the mention of a serial killer.

“I have a plan on how to aqquire them. Blake’s looking for someone to decode them. I can have my associates reach out, offer to decode them, and bam, the notes will be ours to decipher.”


”Yes, because they would hand such a thing over to us willingly.”

”Wh-“ Nora spun around and pointed a hand at the guy who just scared the shit out of her. It was Jack, leaning against a wall, arms crossed with a look pointed at Luna. The hand Nora pointed at him quickly went from a hand of flesh to a gun barrel of brass.

”How- How long have you been standing there?” She asked, composing herself.

”Long enough.”

”…Do you do that often?”

Jack waved her off and changed the subject. ”I knew Kari well enough that I would not trust her notes with a group of criminals like your “associates.” And if this Blake Schmidt is clever enough to employ 8th Street to do his work for him, then he may be resourceful enough to know that we are searching for them right now.” So how, exactly, do you intend to withhold the fact that you are connected to us when you offer your services to him?” He asked.

”Several of us have not made a very concerted effort to be subtle about their actions, since the day we reunited. It would not be difficult for anyone to identify which of us are former coven members, or still maintain ties to us. If you offer to translate those notes, what will you do if he suspects you will hand them to us? Kari’s grasp of the paranormal was one that many people coveted, people die in conflicts over it. The chances of that plan succeeding are low at best.”

Nora whispered to Sabrina, ”…He talks a lot, doesn’t he?”
yes
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