October 26th, 7:48 PM
Caracas, Venezuela
The whole room was filled with a screeching noise as the men pulled a cabinet in front of the door, grunting and groaning with the effort. Finally they placed it dead-center, and half proceeded to collapse on the ground from exhaustion and exertion.
"<Think that should be enough?>"
*"<It had better be enough, mother fuck!>"
"<Calm down, the police will handle it.>"
"<Well they're doing a fucking fantastic job of it aren't they?!>"
The men, all exhausted and afraid as all get-out, began bitterly bickering with themselves, they seemed afraid to die, not that the man in the corner blamed them. He stared a moment before slowly trying to place the uranium inside his helmet, nice and steady-like.
Then the floor creaked.
In a second every single man in the room turned to stare at the yellow clad figure who was attempting to climb up the wallpaper.
Son of the Virgin Mary.Bang carefully assumed a neutral position, slowly dancing from one position to another without breaking eye-contact.
"Er... hello!" he said, suddenly bouncing on his heels in a way that made the Venezuelans jump slightly.
"Don't mind me, I'm just a good American, exercising my right to interfere in any conflict in the Americas, that's why they call them that, because America controls all of them! North America, South America, and the good old USA right in the middle!" Bang said coolly, raising his arms in just the right way as to show off his beautiful musculature.
The Venezuelans stared a moment, clearly star-struck by this beautiful specimen before them.
"<My English isn't great, but did this man say the USA is in Central America?>"
"<Yes... yes he did.>"
They whispered amongst themselves, clearly too awestruck to actually speak. Bang smiled and flexed, just for them.
"Well, sorry for disturbing you gentlemen, but it's time for me to exercise my right as an American!"Bang shot upwards, completely obliterating the roof of the building with his sheer power. He roared at the top of his lungs:
"Monroe Doctrine bitches!"When a good, god-fearing American hears about zombies in the territory of their... neighbors? Bang was never good at maps, he just kinda followed this one human-shaped speck that lead him to the right place, but anyway, when a god-fearing American hears these things he doesn't just sit on his butt and wait for the country's government to take care of it, he takes action! Nothing gets done without the help of an American! Just look at the telephone, the newspaper, and the camera! All American inventions!
**Speaking of American, Bang's American boot landed squarely in the skull of a dead man as he crashed back into the Earth, setting off a fiery explosion that destroyed a number of surrounding mudos. He mimed holding a rifle as he fired a nuclear blast up into the air after the upper half of a mudo, which was promptly vaporized. He spun and let off a blast of thermal energy that caused another mudo to catch flame. Bang pulled his fist in front of his helmet and blew, sighing as it had no effect on the smoke emanating from his glowing hand.
The cloud that had gathered around him from his landing and explosion had become thick enough for it to be opaque to outside viewers, and anyone who was paying attention could see the spectacle of Bang's hand and face glowing to life, the rest of his body hidden in the cloud.
A shock-wave flew from Bang's body, knocking men over and melting the paint off of cars, the liquid ripped from the metal chassis and evaporating in the heat.
Bang laughed, satisfied, as he began to walk through the burning crowd of dead men, firing blasts into the crowd and smashing any mudo that came close enough to touch him. Eventually he grew bored, he was just doing the same thing over and over, that was the definition of insanity or something.
Time to do something different, something... badass.
Bang shot up into the sky, vaporizing a group of mudos that had hitched a ride. With a furor-driven smile, he stared down at the crowd, where there would soon be nothing but ash. His face began to glow a magnificent yellow, his face disappearing behind the light, brighter than any bulb.
Then he unleashed the built up energy. A massive pillar of nuclear energy erupted from his face, absolutely obliterating everything in front of him as he turned his head upwards to vaporize any that stood behind the initial crowd. The road erupted into a cloud of smashed dirt and irradiated fallout, it almost looked like the blast had turned the very road into a sloshing puddle of mud. As quickly as it had come, the blast ended, and the debris crashed to the ground, and Bang followed, landing lightly among the ruins of the road and the one or two horrifically burned hands that remained.
Perhaps he'd overdone it. Eh, who the hell cared? He hadn't even heard of Venzella before today, no-one would miss a street in such an irrelevant country. Unless someone wanted to challenge him, eh, not like anyone could, he was a manufactured superweapon, a literal one-man-army, even a one man apocalypse, and there wasn't a person on Earth who could boast that.
Oh wait there was that Latina who pulled an entire continent, she was hot, he'd have to see about talking to her some time, demonstrate just what real American boys were like, that sounded like a good time. Right now he needed a drink, he'd have to see if there was any shitty South American liquor around, nothing like good American beer, like Budweiser, nothing more American than the Bud. He couldn't really
drink, it was more like he... absorbed it. Eh, he was weird now, who cared, shit sucks, what else is new, dumb as a box of scraps, who gave a fuck, not the teachers, not his parents, not anyone, and that was the American dream, no-one cares about you and you don't fuck with anyone else.
Wait, what was he saying, he loved America! America was the land of opportunity and all that other shit. Eh, he was getting too introspe-introspartive? Intro... thinky-like. He had to go hit something, so he took to the skies once more.
Some motherfucker's getting a knuckle-sandwich that will make a double cheeseburger look like a s'more!*Greater-than(>) and less-than(<) signs represent that the speakers are speaking Spanish**They aren't.
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