Wario slammed his meaty fist into his plate, flipping his shrimp up into the air. His mouth opened wide as he swallowed the garlic-rich morsels and stood on his chair.
"ANOTHER DIMENSION!? I WAS WORRIED FOR A SECOND!"
Wario's arms doubled in size as he flexed, muscles bulging through the layers of fat. With a wide grin, he made his proclomation.
"It doesn't matter if it's The Gold Diva, The Viewer, The Black Diamond, or Rudy the Clown! This'll be a perfect chance to rob that Viewer dork and the rest of the multiverse blind!"
You didn't read the list. Jack Bright has dealt with shapeshifters impersonating him before, and he's assuming that's what's happening. He's trying to save Max's life, not end it.
Seeing the group leave, Jack realized they were heading to the cultist's lair. He couldn't kill them just yet if there was the possibility of taking out multiple cultists- quantity is what matters in murder, after all. He'd need a group of meatshields, however. He remembered the paranoid in the rocksuit breaking down the back door, and something about the androgynous scorpion thing that never left the store. But there was no time for stairs or elevators. No, someone needed shooting. Folding up his rifle and equipment and returning them to his briefcase, he inhale deeply as he walked toward the edge of the building... and dropped off into an open dumpster eight stories below. As the tissues and newspaper flew up, he kicked up and out of it, dusting off his shoulders and leaping from the rim of the dumpster into the window of the infamous Brightmobile. He cranked it up, gunning the accelerator, and flying out into the street, where he spun the car into a 180, reversing into the opposite alley. Looking in at the scorpion-tailed girl and rockman, he took an airhorn from the glove compartment. Rolling down the passenger side window, he blasted the airhorn and shouted at the two.
"GET IN ASSHOLES! IT'S OPEN SEASON ON DOPPELGANGERS!"
A yellow streak cut through the sky as the pudgy plunderer, Wario, rocketed towards the earth. He'd been enjoying a light snack of fancy cheese wedges and tomato juice on his hoard-watching couch. And then he was up in the sky, falling. Landing was going to be unpleasant, but he had at least one way to make it less so. Raising up his legs, he crashed into the ground, leaving a crater and a dented sewer pipe. He looked around to try and get his bearings. This certainly wasn't the Mushroom Kingdom, given the weirdos surrounding him. But as a smell wafted towards him from the Chinese food stall, he jumped out of the crater with surprising agility and ran toward the counter.
"I smell garlic! Delicious, malodorous garlic! Outta the way, losers! This one's mine!"
*Personality: Wario is extremely greedy and will do anything to get money, be it stealing or going on an adventure (but mainly the latter- nobody cares if you take stuff from villains or ruins!). He is also a miser, as he never lets anyone touch his treasure. While he is hot-headed, disgusting, and greedy, he's also something of a polymath- he regularly builds additions to his castle, he designed, built, and wired Wario Stadium, he is the founder and CEO Emeritus of the Fortune 500 video game company WarioWare, has a pilot's license, designed and built a teleportation helmet, and is a regular participant in the Mario Kart Grand Prix. However, there are consequences for such a busy man- Wario's hygiene is absolutely atrocious.
*Powers/Skills: Despite his obesity, Wario is quite athletic and wields superhuman strength that both exceeds that of Mario's and rivals that of Bowser and Donkey Kong. Simply by punching the ground, he causes the earth to shake! Wario's weight also lends itself to his signature moves: a charging shoulder bash which can break through stone and brick with ease, a powerful running charge which lets him bowl over enemies like they were made of cardboard, and the ground pound- if he gets enough height, he can shake the earth even harder. Surprisingly, Wario also seems to be nearly invulnerable- though attacks send him flying. Whether he's set on fire, turned into a vampire, flattened, frozen, trapped in a cocoon, or force-fed food until he can barely walk, Wario can just walk it off, seemingly none the worse for wear.
Wario is, depending on who you ask, a thief, an adventurer, or a game developer. In truth, it's a little of all three. His first major crime, capturing Mario Castle in retaliation for Mario's childhood bullying, didn't go over so well, and ended with him booted out of Mario Land.
A number of unsuccessful revenge plots later, Wario decided he'd build his own castle- one better and more opulent than the Mario Castle the plumber left abandoned. One day, Wario learned that the Brown Sugar Pirates, led by the fearsome Captain Syrup, had stolen a massive golden statue of Princess Toadstool. With Mario already hunting for the statue, Wario saw an irresistible opportunity to show up his old rival: if he could find the statue before the plumber, then Princess Toadstool's ransom combined with the plunder of the Brown Sugar Pirates would give him enough money to buy a castle even bigger and better than Mario's. So Wario set out to reclaim the golden statue. After a long journey, culminating with a battle against the captain and her Genie, Wario escaped the collapsing pirate fortress with the pirate queen's loot. However, Wario's main objective, the golden statue of Princess Peach, was reclaimed by Mario (whom it was stolen from originally by Captain Syrup). Fortunately for Wario, the genie was so grateful for being freed from Syrup that he used his powers to make Wario his own castle! Of course, Captain Syrup would not take this sitting down, and captured Wario Castle with her pirate army! Flooding the castle and stealing the treasures, she ran off, leaving Wario to chase her around the world in pursuit of his ill-gotten gains. After fighting through a legion of bosses, he repaid Syrup by emptying out her treasure hoard, fueling the flames of their ongoing rivalry.
Wario's adventures continued, from the Music Box World to the five multidimensional corridors of the Ancient Pyramid. He started up WarioWare after discovering just how much money could be made from video games, and releases a new Mega Microgames now and again to experiment with evolving hardware. He invested his fortune in pharmacies, shipyards, and gold mines, and has seen a tremendous return. His most recent journey took him to the Shake Dimension, where he retrieved a bottomless coin sack... only to have it stolen by Captain Syrup. However, he managed to keep most of the OTHER treasures from the Shake Dimension, and his hoard is larger than ever. Of course, there's no such thing as enough treasure, and the multiverse provides an infinite amount of consequence-free plunder!
*Equipment: A number of Nintendo DS systems, with demo copies of Wario Ware and Wario Ware Touched.
Jack Bright was not born yesterday. No self-respecting law enforcement, investigation, or... ANY task force, really, would have a meeting in a coffee shop. He might respect this crew of halfwits in the same way he respected a sad clown who managed to get beheaded after calling the sword thrower a pussy, but even HE didn't think they were that thick. He sat in a colorful lawnchair on an adjacent rooftop, spying equipment at the ready. Then he heard the approaching sirens and hit the deck, manning his sniper rifle. That wasn't an undercover police car though. It was the wrong make and model. Which meant it was a stolen siren.
It was obvious. Whoever the chucklefuck in charge was, he was actually a cultist. What he was a cultist OF didn't matter right now. Jack Bright had made plenty of enemies. Whether this incompetent was brainwashed or just that stupid, it was readily apparent he wanted all the agents in one place, in public, where there were no wards or safety measures. All it would take is to wait for the agents to reveal themselves, then summon his dark patron. Well, that wasn't going to happen. Agent Bright cocked the rifle, lining up the shot.
*Personality: Wario is extremely greedy and will do anything to get money, be it stealing or going on an adventure (but mainly the latter- nobody cares if you take stuff from villains or ruins!). He is also a miser, as he never lets anyone touch his treasure. While he is hot-headed, disgusting, and greedy, he's also something of a polymath- he regularly builds additions to his castle, he designed, built, and wired Wario Stadium, he is the founder and CEO Emeritus of the Fortune 500 video game company WarioWare, has a pilot's license, designed and built a teleportation helmet, and is a regular participant in the Mario Kart Grand Prix. However, there are consequences for such a busy man- Wario's hygiene is absolutely atrocious.
*Powers/Skills: Despite his obesity, Wario is quite athletic and wields superhuman strength that both exceeds that of Mario's and rivals that of Bowser and Donkey Kong. Simply by punching the ground, he causes the earth to shake! Wario's weight also lends itself to his signature moves: a charging shoulder bash which can break through stone and brick with ease, a powerful running charge which lets him bowl over enemies like they were made of cardboard, and the ground pound- if he gets enough height, he can shake the earth even harder. Surprisingly, Wario also seems to be nearly invulnerable- though attacks send him flying. Whether he's set on fire, turned into a vampire, flattened, frozen, trapped in a cocoon, or force-fed food until he can barely walk, Wario can just walk it off, seemingly none the worse for wear.
Wario is, depending on who you ask, a thief, an adventurer, or a game developer. In truth, it's a little of all three. His first major crime, capturing Mario Castle in retaliation for Mario's childhood bullying, didn't go over so well, and ended with him booted out of Mario Land.
A number of unsuccessful revenge plots later, Wario decided he'd build his own castle- one better and more opulent than the Mario Castle the plumber left abandoned. One day, Wario learned that the Brown Sugar Pirates, led by the fearsome Captain Syrup, had stolen a massive golden statue of Princess Toadstool. With Mario already hunting for the statue, Wario saw an irresistible opportunity to show up his old rival: if he could find the statue before the plumber, then Princess Toadstool's ransom combined with the plunder of the Brown Sugar Pirates would give him enough money to buy a castle even bigger and better than Mario's. So Wario set out to reclaim the golden statue. After a long journey, culminating with a battle against the captain and her Genie, Wario escaped the collapsing pirate fortress with the pirate queen's loot. However, Wario's main objective, the golden statue of Princess Peach, was reclaimed by Mario (whom it was stolen from originally by Captain Syrup). Fortunately for Wario, the genie was so grateful for being freed from Syrup that he used his powers to make Wario his own castle! Of course, Captain Syrup would not take this sitting down, and captured Wario Castle with her pirate army! Flooding the castle and stealing the treasures, she ran off, leaving Wario to chase her around the world in pursuit of his ill-gotten gains. After fighting through a legion of bosses, he repaid Syrup by emptying out her treasure hoard, fueling the flames of their ongoing rivalry.
Wario's adventures continued, from the Music Box World to the five multidimensional corridors of the Ancient Pyramid. He started up WarioWare after discovering just how much money could be made from video games, and releases a new Mega Microgames now and again to experiment with evolving hardware. He invested his fortune in pharmacies, shipyards, and gold mines, and has seen a tremendous return. His most recent journey took him to the Shake Dimension, where he retrieved a bottomless coin sack... only to have it stolen by Captain Syrup. However, he managed to keep most of the OTHER treasures from the Shake Dimension, and his hoard is larger than ever. Of course, there's no such thing as enough treasure, and the multiverse provides an infinite amount of consequence-free plunder!
*Equipment: A number of Nintendo DS systems, with demo copies of Wario Ware and Wario Ware Touched. *Others: For miscellaneous info on your character. Not mandatory.
Name: Agent Jack Bright Age: Classified. Gender: Male. Weapons: Two automatic machine pistols. The grips are made from wood from the True Cross, the barrels are made from a melted-down church bell from the Vatican. The bullets range from ones made with fallen meteors, ones forged from the nails that hung Jesus, ones made from the teeth of a shoggoth, to ones made from the eyes of a Hound of Tindalos.
Personality: Some people have pervasive or extremely noticeable personality quirks, but somehow remain faithfully employed because they are just that good at what they do. Jack Bright is one of these people. While he is untrustworthy, dishonest, and possibly a sociopath, his competence as an Agent is unquestionable. He's worked major cases that he refuses to talk about to "The Man" and has survived encounters with Elder Gods. He's retired from the GOC, and considers working for something like SIN "like the equivalent of being a Wal-Mart greeter"- more of a hobby than a needed career, given the substantial pension from the GOC. Bio: Agent Jack Bright is an enigma. He has experience with the supernatural, however, having worked for a mysterious organization of Men in Black called the "Global Occult Coalition." Any inquiries into the subject are met with mutterings about "above your paygrade" and "that's classified." A number of his claims check out, however: The sunken cities of Atlantis and Ry'leh HAVE been burnt down. Baron Orlock was found beheaded and hanging upside down by a snare in the Wallachia sunlight in his castle courtyard. All that SIN has Security Clearance for regarding Jack Bright's illustrious career is a single list, which Jack stapled to his resume. But some of the entries are telling as to just what sort of person Jack is- and just what sort of work he did. 4shared.com/office/2Nt5Jq9Xce/Not-Allo.. Other: He's one of the Men In Black. Not the ones from the cartoons- the ones from the Conspiracy Theory and the comic books.
The Call of Cthulhu is the origin of the Cthulhu mythos, (well, if you discount Dagon) HP Lovecraft's seminal work and his most lasting legacy to the horror world. Cthulhu being the octopus-dragon-alien-man that sits dead but dreaming in the undersea city of Ry'leh. The macabre tone and existential horror of Lovecraft's works inspired Chaosium Games to create the Call of Cthulhu roleplaying game, in which the players are investigators arrayed against the impossible odds of the strange things that lurk beyond the veil of the mundane.
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