Vincent’s bare fists slammed against the punching bag, each punch fueled by his anger. At first, his mind focused on the debriefing, how almost everyone was so ready to, the way he saw it, punish KJ for something he didn’t do. In hindsight, however much he didn’t want to admit it, he knew they were right. It would be best if he didn’t join them on any missions, at least until he could get…whatever that was under control. But that wasn’t why he was pissed.
He knew why he was angry. The real reason. He was furious with himself. Furious at letting himself end up in the position he did, furious at the way his ribs screamed at him with every breath. He was angry that he had let himself be weak, again, like he was when his parents were killed or when he didn’t stand up to himself when his cousins were being cruel, or when–
He grit his teeth and let out a roar as he slammed his fist into the punching bag with all he had. He felt his knuckles split open as the bag bounced on its chain, but other than the warm blood that seeped from his knuckles, he hardly felt it. He stood there, breathing heavily as he glared at his shaking hand, irritated that he couldn’t tell if it was shaking from anger, pain, or something else.
Pei peeked around the corner of the gym. When he wasn’t in the training area or the infirmary, she guessed he might be in the gym. He didn’t seem to be the type to lock himself in his room. Compressing her lips, she saw the emotional state he was in. Screaming and punching himself bloody. Not great signs. A far cry from the happy-go-lucky guy she first chatted too about fighting Nightwing. It was a little scary. She stepped back, took a deep breath to compose herself, and then stepped into the gym.
She walked slowly, meanderingly, taking steps to the side. Slow, unsteady progress towards him.
”Hey, buddy. How, uh, how ya holdin’ up?” She asked.
Hearing Pei’s voice, Vincent looked up from his hand. Pulled from his thoughts, his body reminded him that he was injured and he winced. Unsure of whether to rub his knuckles or his ribs, he settled for both, rubbing his ribs with his injured hand while he placed his other hand on top.
”Peachy,” he grumbled. He was quiet for a few moments after that, then asked,
”Did you guys decide what to do?”Locking and unlocking her fingers, Pei grimaced.
”Well, yeah. We gotta bench him, Vincent.” She said quietly.
”Are you mad?” A long sigh, then Vincent spoke.
”No. No, not about that. It sucks, but I understand why we have to. I just hope he understands, too.”He walked over to one of the benches against the wall and slowly sat down with a groan.
”Damn ribs,” he muttered, more to himself than anything. To Pei, he added,
”Sorry I blew up like that. I’ve never had the greatest handle on my temper and I’ve got shit on my mind, so…yeah.”Pei brightened. Vincent had given her an opening. She planned on taking it. She plopped herself down next to him, swinging her legs a little. Reaching into a zipped bag in a belt around her waist, a fanny bag if you will, she produced a first aid kit.
”So, you’re not mad about that. But if I had to hazard a guess, you’re definitely mad about something. That shit on your mind; Could I take a look?” She asked, absent-mindedly fiddling with some soap to clean Vincent’s cut knuckles.
”Gonna have to take a look at that, too.” She murmured so quietly Vincent could barely hear her.
Then she spoke up again.
”My dad says: Words have weight. You gotta say the words you’re thinking, otherwise your head’ll get too heavy and you’ll fall over. Something like that, anyway. Kind of like a bunch of people were doing out there in that AAR. Just hopefully less scary this time.” She said with a little smile.
Vincent looked at the soap in Pei’s hand, then down at his own hand before he held it out to her.
”Go nuts,” he said with a shrug. A moment later, he added,
”Thanks, I mean.” ”Oh, uh. Okay. We’d have to get it washed and stuff, too.” She muttered, wrapping his hand with some Justice League supplied bandages.
”If nothing else it’ll stop all the dripping.”After that, he was quiet for a little while. On the one hand, he hardly knew Pei and he wasn’t sure about baring his soul to someone who was essentially a stranger. Though, on the other hand, after their first one-on-one talk, he could consider her the first friend he made since he had joined the team. He sighed quietly, then said,
”I hate feeling weak. If I have to die, I don’t mind it so long as I’m on my feet and I can do something about it. But when I was pinned on my back, underneath whatever Kila had become…I was as helpless as I was the night my parents died…”Pei bit her lip. She set her hand on Vincent’s shoulder and stared into the middle distance, trying to choose her next words carefully. Both the AAR and her conversation with Kila after the bank had been playing on loop in her memory. Clearly, if she was capable of choosing the right words, she hadn’t done it yet. Her heart rattled against the bars of her ribcage. Do something right for once! It can’t be that hard, right?
”Uhh…hey. I’m sorry that happened.” Pei said. Still not really sure what else to say to someone’s trauma. But she still felt like she had something to offer.
”But no way you’re weak. I don’t really buy that. Losing doesn’t make you weak, y’know. When you’re a superhero, you’re taking hits for people who can’t take them for themselves. That means you’re gonna fall over sometimes.” Pei said.
”Maybe even a lot times.” She added.
”I get what you’re saying and I appreciate it,” Vincent replied,
”but it’s not just the fact that I lost that’s getting to me, it’s the way I lost.”He sighed and looked at his hand.
”The Old Man got me as far as he could, he quietly said.
”I wouldn’t be who I am without him and what he did for me…but it’s not enough, not anymore.” His fingers curled and he clenched his fist.
”I need to talk to Nightwing. If anyone can help me get stronger, it’s gotta be the bat’s first sidekick.” ”I mean, go for it. By all means.” Pei said.
”Nothing wrong with, y’know, training montages. Running up and down mountains, doing handstands on wooden poles at the top of a mountain. Carrying water in two pots up a mountain. Lots of mountains. Maybe if you found a training mountain- y’know we live on a mountain now.” At that last revelation Pei gasped and smacked Vincent’s shoulder with the back of her hand.
”Still might lose, though. In embarrassing ways. Like running into a burning building, bonking your head on one of those pull-up bars some people put in their door frames, not realizing it dislodged your mask and then passing out on the stairs. Just uh, y’know, as a hypothetical example.” Pei said.
Vincent looked at Pei for a few long moments before he finally burst out into laughter.
”Can you…can you imagine? I go flying into a fight, like at the docks, ready to fight, and get taken out by a fucking crane?”Pei grinned wide, doing an exaggerated shrug.
”I dunno! It could be dark!” She laughed.
He probably laughed more than he should have, but given how he had been feeling since the previous night, he didn’t care. He felt himself relax and the anger he had been feeling all morning fade, not completely, but enough to not be so intrusive at the moment. He wiped his eyes, gave Pei a pat on the back, and said,
”Thanks, Pei. I needed that.”Pei was over the moon.
”Always happy to do a help. To help.” She said.
”Think you might be done with boxing practice for the day, or..?” Pei asked.
”Yeah, I think so,” Vincent said as he looked down at his bandaged hand and added,
”I gotta go get this treated and figure out lunch for everyone. Might cobble together a pizza or something. Other than that, thanks for coming to check on me, Pei. I appreciate it.”Pei stood up and saluted.
”What are friends for, right? Good luck with the treatment. And the cobbled pizza.” Pei said.
”I’m gonna head on out.”Rounding the corner and out of Vincent’s sight, Pei pumped her fists.
”Yesss!” She raised them victoriously.
”Iceburn!”