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Recent Statuses

5 mos ago
Current Jenny Nicholson's four hour takedown of the failed Star Wars hotel is the most entertaining thing Disney Star Wars has provided in seven years
2 likes
5 mos ago
Train isn't a real band, it exists just to be played softly in clothing stores or the few malls that still exist in America. You can't convince me otherwise. RIP to the bassist though.
1 like
5 mos ago
Discord really did ruin everything, now people can't even air their grievances publicly like the good lord intended
7 likes
5 mos ago
Someone grab the lid before the worms escape the can.
4 likes
5 mos ago
The real status bar drama are the friends we made along the way.
5 likes

Bio

Look, I got lost on the way to getting some jajangmyeon and it'd be foolish to leave now.

Most Recent Posts






Opening Credits

FADE IN:

EXT. UPPER CLASS SUBURBAN HOUSING KNOWN AS 'THE PLANTATION' TO SOME, COMPLETE WITH RARE GREEN LAWN, PAINTED A JUST DREADFUL OLIVE GREEN THAT MORE RESEMBLES VOMIT THAN ANYTHING HOMEY - DAY

Three figures unload a truck filled with lawn care equipment. First a standing lawnmower followed by a leaf blower and eventually a weed whacker. As the lawnmower starts up, its blades sending a sharp din through the otherwise idyllic neighborhood. So loud it wakes the neighbors, but worse it wakes the owners of the Plantation.

MATCH CUT:

THE HARD ZOOM OF THE GREEN GRASS MATCHES TO ARM HAIR.

PAN OUT:

INT. A MASTER BEDROOM DEVOID OF ANY PERSONALITY SAVE FOR THE AMERICAN FLAG HANGING OVER THE BED. IT'S A 1950S FAMILY'S WET DREAM AS THE HUSBAND AND WIFE IN THE BED SLEEP BACK-TO-BACK THOUGH THERE IS A THIN SPACE BETWEEN THEM. TOUCHING IS FOR INTIMACY AND INTIMACY IS FOR PROCREATION. - DAY

The owner of the arm hair stirs awake, the noise of the lawnmower causing him to grumble some unflattering words about the ethnicity of the lawncare people as he rubs his hand over his face, opening his eyes as his hand drifts past them. The man is RICHARD RIGBY, a man approaching the middle half of fifty though doing his best to appear no older than forty to varying degrees of success. Richard seems a normal middle aged man, though next to the alarm clock on his nightstand (the time displayed being 7:45) there is a framed picture not of him on his wedding day but of him shaking hands with Forty Five. Both of their smiles seem artificial, but such is the smile of a politician.

Next to him is a younger woman by about twelve years though the years are catching up with her. She wakes thanks to the motion next to her, brown eyes blinking only once. The woman is MEGAN RIGBY, blonde and only looking slightly less artificial without makeup. Plenty of people have sat on her face but not in the fun way; the way one sits on the face of real estate agents at bus stops. Plenty more people have plastered her face white. As in graffiti, with white spray paint. She is particularly annoyed by the ones that paint private parts near her smiling teeth. Such is the risk when you're a local news anchor and are not shy about your opinions on air.

RICHARD reaches for his eyeglasses as he shuffles to a seated position.

RICHARD
I thought you told them nine-a-clock.

MEGAN
I told them niente.

RICHARD
Niente? What's a niente?

MEGAN
It means nine in their language.

RICHARD
It does? Since when do you speak El Espanol?

MEGAN
I don't. Everly told me.

RICHARD
Everly is taking Spanish?

MEGAN
Apparently

RICHARD
What time did she come home last night?

MEGAN
After two

RICHARD
(Sighing) What could anyone her age possibly be doing so late?


SMASH CUT:

EXT. AN ABANDONED HOUSE. A SMALL BONFIRE INSIDE A TRASH CAN BURNS AS MUSIC PLAYS TO A SMALL CROWD - NIGHT

There are skateboarders using the empty pool as their playground. No one is going to be in the next X-Games or Tony Hawk game but it doesn't matter. They're young, dumb, and full of cumulative cuts and bruises from the numerous bails and fails in their lives. Beer bottles and soda cans clink and clap together with indecipherable conversations going on in every direction. A lively, if little, get together of ne'er-do-wells.

SLOW PAN UP:

A GIRL OF MEDIUM HEIGHT STANDS AT THE LIP OF THE EMPTY POOL. HER SHOES, CONVERSE. IN HER HANDS IS A SKATEBOARD, ITS DECK A 'LORD NERMAL' HER JEANS, BLACK. HER SHIRT, AN OLD FADED T-SHIRT GIVEN BY HER PARENTS YEARS AGO FOR HER BIRTHDAY INSTEAD OF A SKATEBOARD. HER HAT, A PURPLE CAP PULLED BACKWARDS. HER LIPS, PUCKERED IN A TIGHT PURSING POUT.

GIRL
Twenty bucks says I frontside air


The girl calls to no one in particular, though her eyes are drawn to someone who looks incredibly unsure. Sitting alone on a chair, a barely-touched can of soda in her hands, the young girl seems to be wondering why she even came. She looks no older than fifteen with doe-like brown eyes and slightly curly black hair.

CLOSE-UP:

THE SKATER GIRL'S LIPS AS THEY CURL TO A SMIRK

The girl on the lip of the pool drops in and rolls up the other side, spinning once before landing and rolling through to the other side where she kisses the lip of the pool and on her third trip levels out and smoothly plants herself in the chair next to the unsure, coke drinking girl.

GIRL
Sup.

COKE CAN GIRL
(Softly) Hi

GIRL
I'm Everly but you can call me anytime


EVERLY RIGBY smiles like she said the smoothest line possible, totally uncaring at how unsmooth it actually was. Everly carries herself with enough confidence that it begs the question on if she feels shame or cringe or anything other than, well, confidence.

COKE CAN GIRL
I know who...you are

EVERLY
Then the least you can do is make us even because I'd very much like to know you.

COKE CAN GIRL
My brother mows your lawn

EVERLY
Then tell your brother that I apologize for my parents. But this isn't about them. This is about us.

COKE CAN GIRL
Us?

EVERLY
Yes. You. Me. You and me. Us. You still haven't told me your name.

COKE CAN GIRL
I'm not-

EVERLY
Interested? Fair enough. But we can be friends, right? You look so miserable and I hate to see a wallflower.

COKE CAN GIRL
I didn't say-

EVERLY
Sshhh. (She puts her index finger close to COKE CAN GIRL's lips) You don't have to say anything. I get it. Just do me a favor and watch this.


EVERLY stands and steps onto her skateboard. With her eyes remaining on COKE CAN GIRL, EVERLY does some basic and easy street tricks. Manuals. A kickflip. Nothing groundbreaking but for people that age? Damn impressive.

EVERLY
Impressive, right? Check this out.


EVERLY does something incredibly stupid and tries to do a handstand on her board. To her credit she manages to stand for an impressive two seconds before her hands and board wobble and she tumbles forward. She lands on her ass and tumbles through, her head coming to rest just above the knees of COKE CAN GIRL. EVERLY winks up at COKE CAN GIRL.

EVERLY
I think I've fallen for you. (Winking)


MONTAGE:

EVERLY and COKE CAN GIRL enjoying the get-together. EVERLY holds COKE CAN GIRL's hand as the latter attempts to balance on a skateboard. She falls and EVERLY laughs and helps her get back up. They share the can of coke. They throw sticks into the trashcan fire and leap back as a fireball pops up. COKE CAN GIRL cheers as EVERLY hits a frontside air. EVERLY throws a corn chip in the air. Neither her nor COKE CAN GIRL manage to catch it in their mouths. Both laugh. COKE CAN GIRL manages to stand on the board by herself and travel a short distance. EVERLY cheers. COKE CAN GIRL throws a corn chip. It falls to the ground as EVERLY instead kisses COKE CAN GIRL. The two continue to kiss.

FADE OUT.

CROSS FADE:


INT. A BEDROOM INSIDE THE PLANTATION. THE WALLS HAVE POSTERS OF COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS, PARTICULARLY KATE BISHOP AND SPIDER-GWEN. CLOTHES ON THE FLOOR. A RUSSIAN-BLUE CAT IS CURLED IN A BED NEXT TO THE PEOPLE-BED. ON THE SHELVES IN THE ROOM ARE TROPHIES FOR DEBATE TEAM AND A PICTURE OF EVERLY GIVING THE 'HORNS' FINGERS WITH A PERSON IN DEADPOOL COSPLAY AT A CONVENTION, NEXT TO A PICTURE OF HER WITH A POLITICIAN WHERE SHE IS CONSDIERABLY LESS ENTHUSED. - DAY

EVERLY wakes as a knock is at her door, the voice on the otherside belongs to that of her mother informing her that it's time to wake up. The covers in the bed slide back and EVERLY, like her father, runs her hand down her face to wake up.

EVERLY
Morning, Frito


She talks to the cat near her bed who responds only by breathing, still soundly asleep.

EVERLY
Lucky


EVERLY sits at the edge of her bed and grabs her phone. Her home screen is of Kate Bishop nocking an arrow. Her thumbs quickly send a series of messages to a contact known only as 'POOH'S FRIEND'. Whoever that is clearly knows who they are and why she refers to him as such.



Another knock at her door has EVERLY rolling her eyes. The voice belongs to her father.

RICHARD (V.O.)
Everly, what time did you get in last night?

EVERLY
Dad can you come back later I'm naked in here

RICHARD (V.O.)
Don't be disgusting, Everly.

EVERLY
I'm not, disgusting would be telling you that I had sex last night.

RICHARD (V.O.)
EVERLY! I SWEAR TO GOD

EVERLY
(Laughing) Relax, parental, I'm only fucking with you.

RICHARD (V.O.)
EVERLY! LANGUAGE!

EVERLY
Is it just me or do you sound more upset that I said fuck than when I said that I fucked someone?

RICHARD (V.O.)
GET YOUR BUTT TO THE KITCHEN TABLE AY-ES-AY-PE


CUT TO:

INT. A MODEST KITCHEN TABLE WITH BREAKFAST READY. AS RICHARD HAS COFFEE AND EGGS IN FRONT OF HIM, EVERLY HAS A BOWL OF CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH MIXED WITH LUCKY CHARMS MARSHMALLOWS. CINNAMON TOAST MARSHMALLOWS. - DAY

RICHARD scowls at his daughter while MEGAN silently butters toast and not-so-silently bites the crisped bread. There's otherwise silence at the table, save the distant sound of lawn equipment waking up the rest of the neighborhood with its ungodly presence. EVERLY clinks the spoon at the rim of the bowl as she scoops a bite and slurps the milk from the spoon after her bite. Another silent breakfast at the Rigby household.

RICHARD
Your mother says you didn't get in until after two?

EVERLY
Well if tv's own Megan Rigby says it, it must be true.

RICHARD
Don't be a smart mouth, Everly.

EVERLY
Should I be a dumbass instead?


MEGAN drops her butter knife and RICHARD scowls at his daughter's audacity. EVERLY smirks and scoop up more cereal. The sugar high is the only high she's getting cooped up in this house.

RICHARD
Everly...

EVERLY
It was a legitimate question.

RICHARD
When I moved this family to this...ungodly state, I did it for a purpose...

EVERLY
(Under her breath) Fool's errand

RICHARD
(Continued)...and I knew there would be bad influences but I didn't think you would succumb so willingly. What happened to my little girl? You remember the Debutante's Ball?

EVERLY
You mean the one where Travis Bickleman grabbed my ass during the dance because he 'accidentally missed my hips'? How could I forget?

MEGAN
Everly...

EVERLY
What? He did. Travis Bickleman is an ass-grabber. If he wants to be President he's gonna have to learn to grab 'em in the front, though.


More silverware clatters to the table as Everly adopts the widest of shit-eating grins while her parents are clearly annoyed, aggravated, angered, and unamused. The fact that no one is yelling, though, makes it one of the more successful breakfasts in the Rigby home. Everly finishes her cereal and slides her chair back, scraping along the floor.

RICHARD
We are not finished

EVERLY
I'm going to be late for school.

MEGAN
I'll take you.

EVERLY
You don't have to. No one's mom takes them to school after the age of thirteen.

RICHARD
Everly...we are not finished.

EVERLY
I know, dad. We never are.


EVERLY begins to make her way out of the kitchen but pauses, sighs, and returns to the table, stepping over to her dad's side and kissing him once on the forehead.

EVERLY
I'm sorry, dad. I'm...adapting. I'll do better.


EVERLY knows she is lying. Her parents know she is lying. But they all want to believe otherwise all the same. RICHARD pats his daughter on the hand and wishes her a good first day. EVERLY leaves the kitchen and after a moment RICHARD sighs.

MEGAN
She does love you, you know.

RICHARD
I don't need her love, I need her respect

MEGAN
You should settle for love.


CUT TO:

MONTAGE


EVERLY STEPS OUTSIDE THE PLANTATION, BACKPACK AROUND HER BACK AND SKATEBOARD IN HAND. SHE SKATES DOWN THE SIDEWALK BUT NOT BEFORE GIVING ONE OF THE GARDENER'S A HIGH FIVE. HE WILL NEVER KNOW THE REASON WHY.

EVERLY skates and skitches her way down various streetwalks and sidepaths, weaving around pedestrians, making vehicles upset, zipping past a bus stop where kids are waiting for the school bus to their elementary woes. She stops along the way to grab a donut from Dunkin - via drive thru - which annoys everyone other than Everly who is just annoyed by the fact that her donut is very clearly a day old. Get what you pay for.

After continuing her little skate adventure, her destination comes into view just on the horizon: Delbrook Academy. The last year of institutionalized learning. Mandatory, anyway. By her clock, which means by her best guess, homeroom is starting soon. That gave her just enough time to stash her board in her locker and absolutely not go to homeroom. Or the assembly. Who wanted to go to those? No one cheered for the damn debate team at pep rallies so why should she go to pep rallies for the staff.

FADE IN:

EXT. DELBROOK LACROSSE FIELD. THE ATHLETICS FIELD HAS SINCE BEEN FILLED WITH BOOTHS AND STANDS MORE BEFITTING A CARNIVAL THAN A SPORTING FIELD. IN THE DISTANCE, TAKING UP THE BASEBALL DIAMOND AND OUTFIELD, ARE RIDES. EVERLY IS EARLY. THE OTHERS ARE JUST COMING DOWN FROM THEIR 'MANDATORY' ASSEMBLY. - DAY

EVERLY takes out her phone again as she leans near a booth for a ball throwing game.



EVERLY
Where the fuck are the funnel cakes anyway?


EVERLY, having made her grand arrival, slides her way into an arriving crowd of students. Like a ninja. She was there all along. As far as anyone knows.
"Doki Doki Literature Club" is one of the dullest visual novel experiences I've had in a while. (But I like the song at the end.)


DDLC is great if you have played zero visual novels ever so its gimmick comes off as fresh and interesting. It's right there with Dream Daddy for 'this is for people who think visual novels are just like the Sakura games swallowing up Steam'.

But also DDLC is like the visual novel version of Undertale where its fans will just ruin the point of it by going "IT'S JUST A CUTE STORY ABOUT A LITERATURE CLUB WINK WINK TOTALLY JUST THAT HAHA"
This could be fun



When the loud thunk alerted everyone, Hoshiko's first instinct was to wonder what she had broken. Of course that was impossible, once she had sat down after her brilliant portrayal of the hundred hand slap she hadn't gotten up for anything other than to rummage through the snack bag in a desperate bid to find something else to occupy her hands. She didn't so much as get a crisp or a crumb before practically jumping from her seated position in shock and fear, only one of which subsided when she realized the reality of the situation. As Shirasawa-senpai darted out of the room, Hoshiko took the opportunity to look around at the similarly confused faces who had just wanted to enjoy the spirit of competition in the form of flinging fireballs and uppercuts at each other. "I didn't do it." It went without saying but with Hoshiko she could never be sure and it was good to cover her bases.

Before Shirasawa-senpai came back, Hoshiko was seriously considering playing the round anyway. What would be the harm in playing senpai's turn? Other than using a character Hoshiko didn't know anything about - which wasn't saying much considering she only knew about three of them anyway - it would have at least kept things from being awkwardly silent. As her hand hovered over the controller, Shirasawa-senpai came back and Hoshiko snapped her hand back and tried to let out an innocent whistle. As long as her hand wasn't actually in the cookie jar, so to speak, then there was no harm in anything.

Of course, no one seemed to care about Hoshiko almost cutting the turn order because in Shirasawa-senpai's hands was the cause of the impact. A bird. A crow, specifically. Hoshiko knew as much about birds as she did about most subjects in school, which was just enough to know not much at all. "Do birds normally have red eyes?" Hoshiko asked, blinking at the bird; others seemed more concerned with the potential of a flapping, crapping, squawking annoyance but Hoshiko had never known anything with red eyes to be good. Every game or anime or show the villains always had red eyes or red something. She'd rather not, of course, but if the bird was evil she was about sixty percent sure she could take it in a fight.

"Is it one of those talking birds?" Hoshiko cupped her hands around her mouth and aimed towards the bird. "HELLO! CAN YOU SAY 'HOSHIKO'? DO YOU WANT A CRACKER? A COOKIE? HELLO." It didn't seem to be working.
I saw both Chip and Dale and Sonic 2 and I liked both of them fine enough. Chip and Dale does make Space Jam 2 look tame, though, like holy shit.
In Rangers 2 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay


Interacting With: Everyone




It was truly impressive what a human could do when the fight or flight instinct kicked in - though Mila wasn't even quite sure that was the name for it or if it was just a matter of adrenaline kicking into overdrive. Whatever the reasoning was, she was genuinely surprised to see Hana, the same quiet, reserved Hana, attempt to choke out an attacker and even when getting thrown aside her first response was still in making sure others were okay. Mila included. How could she, in good conscience, let something as painful as getting attacked by weirdo Halloween guys stop her? Mila managed to go from laying on her back to using her hands to lift herself to a seated position, wincing as she placed a hand on her side. Definitely an x-ray sort of situation. Internal bleeding was a killer, she could attest to that personally.

"Hana, you alright?" Mila asked, nodding to her friend who presently had a hand on Mila's shoulder. "I didn't know what a little badass you were." Smiling through the injury and not quite letting the gravity and intensity of the situation bring her down, Mila weakly gave Hana a thumbs up, both to show that she was okay, if a little dinged up, and as approval for her actions. It still hurt, but she couldn't let that stop her.

"I don't think we're the only ones being stupid." Mila gestured with her head towards the fallen Korean girl saying something about Ray-Bans as if she were Johnny Cage complaining about five hundred dollar sunglasses. If it wasn't the whole life and death attacked by weird things situation that it was, Mila might've laughed. She'd have to remember to do so later. At least a smirk. There was also the guy talking about...ass flowers? Mila gave him the benefit of the doubt, under stressful situations people often said things that made...well it probably made sense to him. And then there was the second guy who asked what they should do and Mila couldn't think of an answer. What could they do? They were clearly outclassed and outnumbered.

"I assume you guys aren't going to run." Mila's answer to something like this was easy enough for her. If it meant other people could live, she would throw herself upon the sword to guarantee it. In the grand scheme of things making sure others survived was a worthy conclusion. It was why she was an organ donor. "Then I guess we give 'em hell before we see them there." Mila, through wincing teeth and with the help of Hana, got to her feet, blood lightly dripping from a scrape on her arm. If this was the plan, then so be it. Mila nodded towards Hana and hobbled towards the Ray-Bans girl, offering her a hand to help her to her feet. "You with us, Ray-Bans?"

Before the heroic last stand could occur, though, a colorful rainbow of...color whipped and whisked through the smoke, fending off the attackers before emerging and floating in front of the five of them. Mila's eyes widened, not specifically because of what had happened to the attackers, but because there were floating crystals in front of them. And, more importantly, "I've never seen a crystal like this. It's not jade...or emerald...verdelite? Maybe...prasiolite? No, it's not quartz it can't be...Vesuvinite" Her eyes looked towards the other four crystals floating by the others. "Heliodor?" She said of the yellow crystal. "Eudialyte?...Tanzanite?...Rhodocrosite?" Mila asked of the red, blue, and pink crystals. Without actual closer study she couldn't do anything other than guess based solely on visuals but of course...there was no time.

Mila, instinctively, touched the green crystal in front of her and it was like getting a dose of caffeine or an endorphin rush all at once as her body surged, lurched, and the crystal phased inside of her - not something crystals had a tendency to do. As the rush of sensation continued, the pain in her side subsided and a green swirl whooshed and swooshed and wrapped over her left wrist as a device similar to the ones appearing on the wrists of the others appeared. Mila didn't know what it meant, only that it was likely monumental. Important. Life altering.

"I have a million questions right now but...maybe we should think about them later? I don't know about you guys but I think some payback is in order. I feel like I can kick some ass right now."



The only proper course of action was to break out into a grin so wide it would make that green guy who hated Christmas ask her to dial it back. But really what other option was there for getting a senpai to admit that he didn't have physical magazines but instead looked at stuff digitally. It wasn't a huge revelation or anything, but it made her laugh and grin all the same. It was a pity she wouldn't be able to judge him for his tastes but in truth she didn't know how to judge; this was her first time in the room of a boy but obviously it wasn't like the dramas made it seem. There was no romance in the air. Only chaos. Chaos, snacks, and Street Fighter.

"I'll play last. I played some at the arcade so I'm probably gonna win. The only true statement she made was that she played some of Street Fighter at the arcade. Her record wasn't exactly stellar when it came to playing humans but anyone who played at the game center was on a whole different level anyway and didn't count. Among friends? Hoshiko liked her odds. At least enough to want to get a round in. "You should pick the sumo wrestler. He's fun. He goes like-" Hoshiko started slapping her hands forward quickly like the famed sumo wrestler himself just not as quickly.

Her slap-happy self caused her to accidentally hit a shelf in the room, clattering some objects to the floor. Hoshiko retracted her hands and set about picking up what she dropped, scratching her head and hoping nothing was broken. She couldn't really afford to replace it. "Sorry. I'll...I'll just take a seat and wait my turn. Hoshiko found a seat and sat, hands in her lap. "Could you pass the snacks?"
Anyone see the new Chip n Dale movie yet?
I wish Chrono Cross Remastered didn't run so poorly because Chrono Cross is fantastic and deserves to be played by more people



Hohsiko did, of course, still feel bad about the whole touching a corpse thing but having Shirasawa-senpai give a little pep talk helped Hoshiko rationalize the fact that it was really likely they were going to be questioned as witnesses in the first place. Regardless, it was clear to Hoshiko that going forward she was certainly going to...not touch any dead bodies. Of course, she didn't expect to come across another one any time soon - or ever, if she had her way. It was still creepy and she had even washed her hands at the police station. Twice. Some things just stuck with a person, she figured.

Unfortunately what was sticking together was the study group - not that them being a group was a bad thing, moreso the fact that after their interrogation it seemed they had every intention of studying. At least that was what Hoshiko thought before she brought up the rear of the gang upon arriving at the house to the sights and scents of a home cooked meal. If Hoshiko was down in the dumps before all it took was smelling something hot and ready to get her practically jumping to the front of the line to get a peek and, more importantly, a plate. The others were, naturally, thankful and excited for the smorgasbord and while Hoshiko was as well she just couldn't help herself when she saw Chen's father and the spread.

"Do you have any burgers?

She did not get burgers but she did proudly boast that she would eat more spring rolls and dumplings than anyone else. No one even challenged her, she just made the claim as she placed no fewer than six of them on a single plate and that was also before she grabbed a generous portion of chow mein. Whether or not she won her boastful claim, Hoshiko was no stranger to eating in excess; her reasoning was solid enough: if it was on someone else's dime or time, it would be rude to let things go to waste. Leftovers never tasted as good so she was doing Akio-senpai a favor by helping reduce the amount of leftovers his family would have. It made sense to Hoshiko. But then so did touching a corpse.

It was because of her little feast that Hoshiko entered Chen's room holding her stomach with one hand and secretly chomping away on a spring roll with the other. Dessert would have to wait, though, unless there was parfait in which case she would happily jump at the chance. Still, while the others were settling on snacks or looking for games to play, Hoshiko was, rudely enough, looking around the room - specifically near Chen's bed.

"I thought guys had magazines in their room. Did you hide them before we got here?" Yes, Hoshiko said it aloud, and no she didn't seem to care if it embarrassed the host. "They must be pretty steamy if you hid them, senpai."

For better or worse, Hoshiko was no longer moping around.
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