Avatar of Force and Fury

Status

Recent Statuses

3 yrs ago
Current Shilling a good medieval fantasy: roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
3 yrs ago
Don't mind me. Just shilling a thread: roleplayerguild.com/topics/…
3 yrs ago
So worried right now. My brother just got admitted to the hospital after swallowing six toy horses. Doctors say he's in stable condtion.
8 likes
3 yrs ago
Nice to meet you, Bored. I'm interested!
7 likes
3 yrs ago
Ugh. Someone literally stole the wheels off of my car. Gonna have to work tirelessly for justice.
4 likes

Bio

Oh gee! An age and a gender and interests and things. Yeah, I have those. Ain't no way I'm about to trigger an existential crisis by typing them all out, though. You can find out what a nerd I am on discord, okay?

Stay awesome, people.

Most Recent Posts

@Komo You are good to go. Feel free to post your character in the Characters tab once I give the announcement.
@Siber Just a heads-up that I hadn't asked you to post Tilda in the Characters tab quite yet. A couple of other people who did (I'm looking at you, Jasbraq) weren't supposed to either. Anyways, it's done now and I'm going to be asking everyone to post today. Unless you're especially attached to the last name, let's give our poor musical girl something that spunds properly Drudgunzean, hm? Perhaps Ulmer, Ulker, Ullhard, or Ullman, just to keep the general sound. Otherwise, you're good to go. Please wait for an announcement next time, though!

Also, now that you're in, it's time to join our discord. It's a fun community with a lot of extra resources and much quicker communication. I'm looking forward to seeing you there!
@Pirouette Awesome character and, as you know, I love the Joan of Arc angle. Before you post her in the character tab, just a couple of minor matters:
1) You were working on this pretty late, so there are a lot of the usual little typos and things. Just give it a good proofread and fix as needed.
2) Parrence is the country and Parrench is the demonym.
@jasbraq Hey, so thanks for finally getting that in. I know that your vision for the character has a lot more to it than what you wrote here, but I know how you have a hard time with Character Sheets. Hence, I'm going to accept this short version for now and ask that, as you get more ideas for the character and feel less pressure, you work on her some more and fill in things like her background and inventory. Welcome aboard.
@RezonanceV Big fan of that CS. I an tell that a lot of love went into crafting Caelum and I'm excited to storytell alongside you in this RP. Below are a few small things that I noticed that I think may be worth taking a second look at.
1) As addressed on discord, the Oraff/Oraphne thing being changed to Oraphe.
2) Small word of warning: nobody is completely immune to Essence magic tampering with the brain, though your guy would have some resistance by virtue of very definite and strong thought patterns: enough that it'd probably give him time to notice and take countermeasures.

Honestly, awesome work!
@Ti Percy's hilarious. I'll make sure that he makes some appearances! Thanks for making him a thing.

@Fetzen Overall, I love Otios and it's nice to see a yasoi character take shape! Looking forward to seeing him in action! Here are a couple of minor tidbits for thought and questions I had:
1) How would his name actually be pronounced, what with the double 'y' and all.
2) What might the middle section of his name mean, since that's the one that's generally earned. Might be a cool thing to address in terms of his characterization.
3) Fourth and a half wheel is very strong and very rare. How might this have affected him? Is it an important part of his character? Anybody with that much of the Gift is going to draw plenty of attention for it unless they're actively trying to hide it. If they are, that begs the question: "why?"

@Komo Told ya you could do it! Overall, I can see the effort that you put into this and it's paid off! It's nice to have bboth a wizard and another knight, haha. Two for one! below are some little things that I might ask you to take a look at.
1) Her father being a fifth wheel wizard is maybe a little bit much. There are probably no more than ten of those in the entire world. If he was fifth wheel, he'd probably be a king and able to singlehandedly wipe out that entire army. If he's fourth and a half, that'd still be really strong and worthy of immediate recognition.
2) I imagine that you had to stop and restart a few times as you worked on this over the course of a few days. Naturally, there are a few typos, missed words, and awkward sentence structures in there, so maybe just give it a good proofread and fix those. The hard work is all done, though! I've included a couple of examples below.
  • A small wording thing: tallest of her father’s children and just a head shy of her oldest brother’s height. Since she's shorter than her brother, did you mean, "tallest of her her father's daughters?"
  • Due to her talent in picking up skills quickly along with her gifts, she has proven to be really lethal and effective combatant that anyone who has fought beside her has never gone out of their way to change anything, or say anything else.
@Siber Sounds good. Yeah, it kind of just needs to have the right sound. Like, think of an old school Germanic-sounding name. That's what we're looking at here in terms of characters being consistent with the world and logical. Thanks for making that adjustment. Subject to it, you should be good to go! Also, if you need any help, feel free to ask.
@Siber Overall, I like your character and her angle a lot. I do wonder where her name cones from, though. If I'm going to be honest, it strikes me as pretty out in left field compared to the others.
@Fetzen Awesome stuff! Nice to know someone was able to go through and actually calculate all of this stuff! As for the year nomenclature itself, the female aspect signifier (Aun) always goes before the deity name while the male, Sept, always goes after. regardless, well done and thank you very much!
Okay, review time! Here we go:

@Wolfieh You've already seen my feedback on discord. Looking forward to RPing with Vali

@Th3King0fChaos Phew, that was a lot to read. Kol looks good. He's a little bit main character-esque, but I've RPed with you enough now that I'll trust you to play him responsibly in service of crafting a good storoy. Now, finish his CS when you have the chance!

@YummyYummy Overall, you know I like Arnaud. He's been preapproved. The one thing that I can't help but nitpick, though, is that he looks like two entirely different people in his two pictures. If you can find some way to bring those in line a bit, that'd be ideal.

@Atalanta The same goes for Osanna. I also like her new pic a lot better. One small thing is the formatting on her age/gender/loyalty/calling header. Maybe just 'Rezaindian Order' to give yourself a bit more room for spaces? That's up to your discretion, though and it's an extreme nitpick on my part. The 'the' does add some force to it, after all.

@A Lowly Wretch Alright, so I've now read and reviewed! Nettle is bizarre in an intriguing and potentially humourous way and, if you can play her to form should be a really fun character to have around. Overall, I like her! Below, I have a few recommendations.
1) The demonym for yasoi is, indeed, yasoi. Strange as it is, no need to tack 'an' onto the end.
2) I'd recommend reading through once more and just doing some quick editing in terms of typos, repeated words, and such.
3) know you like to draw your reference pics, but if you can find something a bit more in-depth and vivid in the next few weeks for a planned collage, that'd be appreciated.
4) I'm wary of any 5W that high. It's the equivalent of a 9+ RAS, which is very, very rare. It's world-warping level magic. To use some THO references, you're playing on Benny, Traveler, and Hugo levels. I'm going to provisionally approve this pending a conversation we'll hold on discord about your character's actions, goals, and storyline ideas. If fifth wheel is necessary for those, then maybe we can find a way to make it work.

@Ti Overall, I like Asier and really appreciate how you worked his legend in lol. That was great! As far as recommendations going forward...
1) Editing stuff like demonyms, possessives, slew/slain, and the like. Give it a once over and try to clean those up.
2) This is the dark ages and the nobility are still a martial class mostly, so I don't think there'd e quite as much traditional noble snootiness and outright disdain. It's more like, "they all say you're so great, but you just look like another smelly Tourrare horseman to me. Prove the stories true." Basically, they're resistant to being impressed and he'll have to show them.

@Dao Ma I absolutely love Maerec. He is everything that a knight should be with just enough of a twist to make him unique and interesting. I don't have a lot in the way of improvements to offer, but see below!
1) This is very well written, but I have to imagine that this was just a small error and it might bug you if you didn't catch it: It is hard to say at first that if he genuine or if it is for formality's sake. There was also a 'diffuse' that I think was meant to be a 'defuse'.
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