MIKA
Esme's reassurance that she would help Natalia so greatly calmed Mika's heart a lot. She was willing to let anyone remotely trustworthy to be around Nat if it meant Nat got the help she so desperately needed. She knew in her heart Esme was the right person for the job and she told herself that if Dean and Duke would trust her around the girl, then she would go out of her way to also trust her.
Mika looked over at Duke when he spoke up about what he thought of the situation and she nodded. They were a lot alike and Mika really couldn't see Nat ever admitting it. âYou're right there. They are a lot alike, which is why they clash heads so much and it's downright scary when it happensâ she replied to Duke. âBut you're right, it does seem like we're making strides in all the right directions finallyâ she agreed with his second statement, giving Esme a nod and small smile as she said it before looking back at Duke. âI know you don't know her as well, but you will soon enough. Like you say, she's a lot like Dean. Like a mini firecracker version of Dean. I don't know if she was always that way before she came to us, and before the ⌠other place, but if she was? I can only imagine what her relationship with John must have been like. It still disappoints me that John didn't go looking for her.â She commented. She never particularly liked John Winchester, and certainly hated the way he treated Dean when they thought she had died by the Wendigo. Yet it was the abandoning of Natalia that really angered Mika the most about John's character.
As Esme then spoke up once more, Mika turned her full attention to the woman, listening to what she was telling them both. The moment Esme's eyes turned away from Duke briefly, Mika found herself intrigued to where Esme's words were going to go. So she remained silent as she took in what Esme was telling them. Telling them both a huge bit of information that she never told Dean was a big surprise to Mika. She didn't think Esme would ever trust her enough to tell her something so important, but it now made sense why Natalia seemed to confide in Esme so easily. Their trauma was like a bond that only the two of them could comprehend and get through together. What Esme was describing was gut wrenching and Mika knew at that moment she had been way too hard on the woman. Sure, she had been jealous that she got more or less forced into working with Dean's ex-girlfriend, but she really should have seen the woman as her own person.
She also felt awful because she was there. Outside, waiting for the boys to get back out and keep watch. She was the one who rushed the boys and Nat out of that place as quickly as possible by helping Sam get Natalia into the back seat of the impala. Mika heard the carnage from within those walls, the flashes of lights as demons got smoked out of gunfire went off. She didn't think for a single moment that night that there could have been any other victims in that asylum. Only that they had to get Natâs barely conscious body the hell out of there and get her cleaned up. âI'm so sorry Esme, I was there that night. Outside, but there. When Sam was carrying Nat out, I didn't even think anyone else could be in those walls. I was so taken aback by this frail little malnourished thing that Sam was carrying in his arms, I just rushed the boys to get back to the impala and get outta there.â She admitted to Esme. âI'm so glad someone found you, as after seeing Nat last night strapped to one of those things and being drowned on it? I can imagine how terrified you must have been way back thenâ she sighed, genuinely feeling awful for Esme.
NATALIA
Once Natalia got everything off her chest, or at least the largest of her feelings and thoughts about Dean out in the open, she felt a little lighter. Yet that feeling also brought a lot of vulnerability out more as she didn't know how Dean would react to her words. She didn't know if he would react badly to her words or not and that terrified her as much as admitting everything out loud. The moment he told her she was wrong about what she said, she didn't know if she should yell at him or not for it. How could what she felt be wrong? She was so conflicted and was wanting to tune out but his scooting closer to her and grabbing one of her hands made her stay. Her breath hitched at the touch, not expecting him to be so nice when he had every right to hit her for what she did to him and his car. She refused at first to look at him as he placed her hand on his chest, making her feel his heartbeat whilst he pushed her legs down so she couldn't hug herself any more. She felt so exposed and every part of her wanted to run over to Cason to feel protected again, but she just couldn't actually move. Her mind and body wanted two different things.
The closer he pulled her to him, the harder it got to avoid being close to him. This was all she ever wanted from him, to feel like he did love her, want her as his family, being her big brother. She took the deep breath he asked her to do, listening to him talk, new tears stinging her eyes before they fell down her cheeks. Slowly looking up at him at his request, in what could be on par with Sam's puppy eyes, meeting his gaze as he leaned down, she continued to listen. She couldn't pull her eyes away from his as she forced her mind to let his words linger and stay in her memory. She saw how pleading he was as he spoke to her softly. Eventually she began to nod slowly before she just found herself leaning in, burying her head in his chest and wrapping both arms round him. âI want to believe thatâŚI do, so much. You have no idea how muchâ she said, slightly muffled in his clothing. âI've waited so long to hear you say this to me.â She cried, her fingers gripping the back of his shirt tightly.
She couldn't even stop herself from hugging him. She went from hating him to craving his attention and just wanting to be practically swaddled by him like some goddamned child. Dean was the closest replacement to John she had which meant all her craving to have a father figure in her life was aimed at him. âI guess we are too alikeâŚwe're both crap with our feelingsâ she finally commented. âthis just feels so new to me stillâŚeven after all this time. It's so hard feeling so much all at once. Esme said she'll help meâ she told him, âbut when Anna let slip what happened? It really tore me up Dean. Please don't take Cason away from meâŚplease. I need him so much.â She begged, scared to look up from Dean's chest after she said the words. But they were true words, her and Cason had something no one could comprehend the way she and him could, but she wanted Dean to try and move forward from his hatred of Cason. She wasn't going to stop loving Dean just because she fell in love with Cason. There would never be a day she didn't need Dean around, she just needed to show it to him more, just as Dean needed to with her.
âBut I also need youâŚâ she cried.
SAM
Whilst Sam looked down at Anna as he spoke to her, he saw how she checked her arm from where Dean hurt her and he couldn't help the annoyance that bubbled up in his chest all over again at what Dean did to her. He was glad he stood up to his brother for once, he was glad he pushed him back and was even more glad he didn't even acknowledge him when he left the house. That was for Mika to explain and Sam was not going to apologize for any of his actions. He hoped so much that Anna could believe at least some of his words as he truly meant every single one. Even if Natalia had seen other sides of Anna, he could never see Nat looking at Anna in a different light. Hells, Nat was doting on a demon after all, there was no way Nat would be judgemental against Anna and see her as anything but a person. He knew if Nat could see some kind of humanity in Cason, then it would be no different with Anna. He knew his sister well, and the moment she had made up her mind about someone it didn't really change.
Then she said about how difficult it was to argue with Dean and for that, he had to give her a nod for making a valid point. âyeahâŚbut just because it's difficult doesn't mean it's impossible. I'm not going to pretend that he came back from Hell the same person, because I don't think he has. It's scarred him in ways he'll probably never tell any of us, but it is possible to get through to him. Do you really think Mika would have stayed with him this long if it wasn't possible?â He smiled softly. âThey've had more breakups than anyone I know but she still manages to come back, and get through to him like they never parted ways. If anyone can break down that damn in his head and make him see what he's doing to people? It's gonna be herâ he told Anna honestly. He had full faith in Mika's ability to make Dean calm down and see what and where he went wrong with Anna. âBesides, Nat has a few more impala windows to break if Dean keeps being a jerkâ he smirked, hoping it would bring the tiniest of smiles to her face.
As he finished speaking, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out he saw it was Ruby calling him and he knew this wasn't the time. So he canceled the call, placed his phone on the bedside table and focused back on Anna. Only she mattered right now.
Esme's reassurance that she would help Natalia so greatly calmed Mika's heart a lot. She was willing to let anyone remotely trustworthy to be around Nat if it meant Nat got the help she so desperately needed. She knew in her heart Esme was the right person for the job and she told herself that if Dean and Duke would trust her around the girl, then she would go out of her way to also trust her.
Mika looked over at Duke when he spoke up about what he thought of the situation and she nodded. They were a lot alike and Mika really couldn't see Nat ever admitting it. âYou're right there. They are a lot alike, which is why they clash heads so much and it's downright scary when it happensâ she replied to Duke. âBut you're right, it does seem like we're making strides in all the right directions finallyâ she agreed with his second statement, giving Esme a nod and small smile as she said it before looking back at Duke. âI know you don't know her as well, but you will soon enough. Like you say, she's a lot like Dean. Like a mini firecracker version of Dean. I don't know if she was always that way before she came to us, and before the ⌠other place, but if she was? I can only imagine what her relationship with John must have been like. It still disappoints me that John didn't go looking for her.â She commented. She never particularly liked John Winchester, and certainly hated the way he treated Dean when they thought she had died by the Wendigo. Yet it was the abandoning of Natalia that really angered Mika the most about John's character.
As Esme then spoke up once more, Mika turned her full attention to the woman, listening to what she was telling them both. The moment Esme's eyes turned away from Duke briefly, Mika found herself intrigued to where Esme's words were going to go. So she remained silent as she took in what Esme was telling them. Telling them both a huge bit of information that she never told Dean was a big surprise to Mika. She didn't think Esme would ever trust her enough to tell her something so important, but it now made sense why Natalia seemed to confide in Esme so easily. Their trauma was like a bond that only the two of them could comprehend and get through together. What Esme was describing was gut wrenching and Mika knew at that moment she had been way too hard on the woman. Sure, she had been jealous that she got more or less forced into working with Dean's ex-girlfriend, but she really should have seen the woman as her own person.
She also felt awful because she was there. Outside, waiting for the boys to get back out and keep watch. She was the one who rushed the boys and Nat out of that place as quickly as possible by helping Sam get Natalia into the back seat of the impala. Mika heard the carnage from within those walls, the flashes of lights as demons got smoked out of gunfire went off. She didn't think for a single moment that night that there could have been any other victims in that asylum. Only that they had to get Natâs barely conscious body the hell out of there and get her cleaned up. âI'm so sorry Esme, I was there that night. Outside, but there. When Sam was carrying Nat out, I didn't even think anyone else could be in those walls. I was so taken aback by this frail little malnourished thing that Sam was carrying in his arms, I just rushed the boys to get back to the impala and get outta there.â She admitted to Esme. âI'm so glad someone found you, as after seeing Nat last night strapped to one of those things and being drowned on it? I can imagine how terrified you must have been way back thenâ she sighed, genuinely feeling awful for Esme.
NATALIA
Once Natalia got everything off her chest, or at least the largest of her feelings and thoughts about Dean out in the open, she felt a little lighter. Yet that feeling also brought a lot of vulnerability out more as she didn't know how Dean would react to her words. She didn't know if he would react badly to her words or not and that terrified her as much as admitting everything out loud. The moment he told her she was wrong about what she said, she didn't know if she should yell at him or not for it. How could what she felt be wrong? She was so conflicted and was wanting to tune out but his scooting closer to her and grabbing one of her hands made her stay. Her breath hitched at the touch, not expecting him to be so nice when he had every right to hit her for what she did to him and his car. She refused at first to look at him as he placed her hand on his chest, making her feel his heartbeat whilst he pushed her legs down so she couldn't hug herself any more. She felt so exposed and every part of her wanted to run over to Cason to feel protected again, but she just couldn't actually move. Her mind and body wanted two different things.
The closer he pulled her to him, the harder it got to avoid being close to him. This was all she ever wanted from him, to feel like he did love her, want her as his family, being her big brother. She took the deep breath he asked her to do, listening to him talk, new tears stinging her eyes before they fell down her cheeks. Slowly looking up at him at his request, in what could be on par with Sam's puppy eyes, meeting his gaze as he leaned down, she continued to listen. She couldn't pull her eyes away from his as she forced her mind to let his words linger and stay in her memory. She saw how pleading he was as he spoke to her softly. Eventually she began to nod slowly before she just found herself leaning in, burying her head in his chest and wrapping both arms round him. âI want to believe thatâŚI do, so much. You have no idea how muchâ she said, slightly muffled in his clothing. âI've waited so long to hear you say this to me.â She cried, her fingers gripping the back of his shirt tightly.
She couldn't even stop herself from hugging him. She went from hating him to craving his attention and just wanting to be practically swaddled by him like some goddamned child. Dean was the closest replacement to John she had which meant all her craving to have a father figure in her life was aimed at him. âI guess we are too alikeâŚwe're both crap with our feelingsâ she finally commented. âthis just feels so new to me stillâŚeven after all this time. It's so hard feeling so much all at once. Esme said she'll help meâ she told him, âbut when Anna let slip what happened? It really tore me up Dean. Please don't take Cason away from meâŚplease. I need him so much.â She begged, scared to look up from Dean's chest after she said the words. But they were true words, her and Cason had something no one could comprehend the way she and him could, but she wanted Dean to try and move forward from his hatred of Cason. She wasn't going to stop loving Dean just because she fell in love with Cason. There would never be a day she didn't need Dean around, she just needed to show it to him more, just as Dean needed to with her.
âBut I also need youâŚâ she cried.
SAM
Whilst Sam looked down at Anna as he spoke to her, he saw how she checked her arm from where Dean hurt her and he couldn't help the annoyance that bubbled up in his chest all over again at what Dean did to her. He was glad he stood up to his brother for once, he was glad he pushed him back and was even more glad he didn't even acknowledge him when he left the house. That was for Mika to explain and Sam was not going to apologize for any of his actions. He hoped so much that Anna could believe at least some of his words as he truly meant every single one. Even if Natalia had seen other sides of Anna, he could never see Nat looking at Anna in a different light. Hells, Nat was doting on a demon after all, there was no way Nat would be judgemental against Anna and see her as anything but a person. He knew if Nat could see some kind of humanity in Cason, then it would be no different with Anna. He knew his sister well, and the moment she had made up her mind about someone it didn't really change.
Then she said about how difficult it was to argue with Dean and for that, he had to give her a nod for making a valid point. âyeahâŚbut just because it's difficult doesn't mean it's impossible. I'm not going to pretend that he came back from Hell the same person, because I don't think he has. It's scarred him in ways he'll probably never tell any of us, but it is possible to get through to him. Do you really think Mika would have stayed with him this long if it wasn't possible?â He smiled softly. âThey've had more breakups than anyone I know but she still manages to come back, and get through to him like they never parted ways. If anyone can break down that damn in his head and make him see what he's doing to people? It's gonna be herâ he told Anna honestly. He had full faith in Mika's ability to make Dean calm down and see what and where he went wrong with Anna. âBesides, Nat has a few more impala windows to break if Dean keeps being a jerkâ he smirked, hoping it would bring the tiniest of smiles to her face.
As he finished speaking, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out he saw it was Ruby calling him and he knew this wasn't the time. So he canceled the call, placed his phone on the bedside table and focused back on Anna. Only she mattered right now.