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14 days ago
Current trying to find the "golden ratio" of weed and ozempic to cause my appetite to stack overflow and reactivate the long-dormant photosynthesis gene from that 50% of DNA we share with plants. will update
3 likes
1 mo ago
many people dont know this but a good cue for deadlifting is to bring your chest up and lock your lats for proper spinal stability. this also applies to interacting with gorillas i'm told. testing no—
2 likes
3 mos ago
yeah i work in area 51, it's pretty chill. usually you just get a tweaker roll by on a "spiritual journey" once a month. they tend to go away once you put a few AIM-9s downrange on their flying saucer
2 likes
4 mos ago
man is closest to god after an ice cold beer in the warm shower. his mind and body are freed. next closest is behind the wheel in a scool zone, also with an ice cold beer in hand. study this well.
3 likes
5 mos ago
yeah mom its me can you come pick me up me and the boys were wondering if pulling a potato peeler over tommy's behelit would wake up the little guy in there and it started screaming.. thanks love you

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Holy shit Reonite Paladins look RIGHT the fuck up my alley. This being a former Mayonite order, would there be anything necessarily weird about a more Reon-leaning swordsman joining? I assume the simplification to Iron Rose as opposed to maintaining Mayonite is indicative of a more broadened philosophy.
Kirk Poirier - NOLA rift

@KoL@TheWindel@Vesuvius00@PKMNB0Y


"Yeah, you usually want some good boots at least thigh high before you go walkin' around the bayou." the wrestler agreed, drawing up alongside the pair as he himself took in the murky depths before them. Much could be said as to Kirk having a more educated eye than the rest, being intensely familiar with the terrain, but you had to remember— this was a rift. These new worlds may have sometimes mirrored the landscapes and vistas of their home dimension, but there was no telling as to whether or not they were a one-to-one match.

"Sunumma..." he mumbled beneath his breath as his gaze, following Daichi's, traveled up, up, and up some more as he tried to see the top of a tree that dwarfed even the oaks on campus. Silently, he echoed the international's sentiment— even with a full belay system that one would be challenging, and considering they didn't even think to bring waders...

"Anyone got a good sized stick around?" He asked, changing gears. "We can use that to poke around in the waters, see how deep anyplace might go before we step in it."
I've been wanting to play a good, straightforward knightly type for a while now. I'd be willing to give this a go, if you'll have me.
Ryuji Igarashi - Hitting Traffic - District 19

@Krayzikk@1Charak2

The girl flew.

More spectacular than even that in one moment she wasn't there, and the next she was, she did so with one powerful leap, soaring clear over his head and the beast's both and comfortably, gingerly landing behind him. Her takeoff started at the balcony, at least some three floors up, just ahead of him— far too exotic a height for anyone their ages to be casually jumping from. As the flash of white and gold skimmed the very top of his vision, he placed her voice immediately even through his awe. Between that unusually familiar tone and manner of address to the slightly foreign accent on some of her vowels it could be only one person—

It was clear now that there was more to the girl's infallible answering of the door right as he walked up to it than sheer good timing. He had always been told District 19 was a rough one, and now he owed everyone back at Luigi's an apology. The "normal chick" he delivered to there?

Not so much.

"Beyond the police" indeed. She was holding out on him hard. For shame, Sieglinde! You couldn't just let a young guy think you're just an exotic foreigner when you had some form of ability up your sleeve! In Academy City no less— having preternatural jumping power and impact dampening alone could get you far here!

As soon as his backwards slide had started, it stopped— and through the wonders of Newton's third law, reversed back forward a ways as he pretty much just bounced off the girl's back as she stood to her full height from the landing.

He came to a halt of his own volition the instant after.

They pivoted in turn not even a second later, her to fully face the walking sludge, and he a half-step to keep the two in view. She made no show of noticing the collision, offering her glasses with a chipper grin and a hand on his shoulder. After feeling her measured grip, bouncing off of that unshakeable stance, and experiencing the rush of wind in her flight's wake, he amended his assessment of this girl— she was Strong. Not "strong", Strong.

He looked the girl in her shining cobalt eyes, for all in tents and purposes even with his own...

Except for the fact that one was focused on him. The other straight ahead—

A quick glance the other way drew the line between that "unfocused" eye and the antagonistic mud. Worth asking about later. For now—

He had another question for the beautiful blonde that had just swooped in to save him from a horrifying construct that actively defied nature.

"Yo. Sure. Did I die?"

I've lived a good life, right? Seems like a Heavenly setup.


He returned the greeting as casually as he got it, gingerly plucking the frames from her fingers and stepping off to the side. A touch more seriously now, if only throw a lower tone of the voice, he began to relay info once again. "Careful, when he screams it hurts the hell out of your brai—"

As if called for, the mud began to advance, shrieking again in a sickening charge that continually assaulted the senses. It took all the pizza boy had to not drop to his knees again in pain—

"yeah it's a lot like that, I think it directly goes for consciousness"

But he didn't. And through grit teeth and a scrunched up face, he belted out the end of his precaution.

He couldn't say he was ready for it to come without warning, but he could say he was beginning to adapt. Forcing one of his eyes open, he looked on as the thing barreled towards them, all flailing arms and horrible noise. He didn't know what the Nordic girl's full capabilities were—

But if there was one thing Igarashi did know, it was the importance of making a read. And for that, you needed information.

How did this thing fight, then? What was the plan for a melee?
Kirk Poirier - New Orleans

@KoL@TheWindel@Vesuvius00@PKMNB0Y


"Ah, don't worry about that." He reassured the small woman who first pulled up to his table, his Lafayette accent offering colorful contrast to her more standardized American English, with the pointed, almost francophonic long o's and "that" so much closer to "dat". "Just a good turn."

He wasn't a small guy by any means, and he was well aware of that, but this girl— Kay, was so diminutive he had to inwardly marvel at the degree to which he dwarfed her. However, such size comparisons were doomed to be short-lived things, as the others in her party began to file in one after the other. A young girl with long black hair and a bit of energy about her and a calm looking... uh...

'Daichi'... Sounds Japanese to me. Better not go sayin' that, though.

Be real rude of me if I'm wrong.


"Hm? Oh, naw. I'm just your seating partner here, they're at capacity right now and asked me to share— Ah, hell. Forgot my manners. Name's Kirk! Kirk Poirier, blessed to meetcha all."


He thrust a large hand forward to Daichi, intending on greeting each of the other three assembled in turn with a firm, yet not overbearing handshake. As a wrestler, grip strength was one of his most valuable weapons, so he consequently went well out of his way to not squeeze the life out of somebody else so much as gently encase them in stone for a spell. He was pretty good at it by now, and so had room to roll the conversation right on in the meantime.

"And if I might make a suggestion, if you're looking for something light?" he thrust his left hand down onto the center of the entrees section, "You're gonna wanna do the Baked Chicken. They're really good at keepin all their meats moist here, but—" he held up one of his remaining Fried Thighs for an example now, "The breadin' they do here's really nice, but it'll be super heavy too. They really crisp it up and let it go long in the oil. That an' the seasonin's why you get that real brown color. Definitely get white meat, at least. Ya might be able to get away with fried like that."

Placing it back on his plate, he returned that free hand to Daichi's menu again, this time venturing further down.

"And your side ain't gonna be as light as a salad, because you've gotta have these cornbread muffins. They're fluffy, soft, super sweet... I swear they're just like my Granny's."

His tone had, somewhere along the way, shifted from friendly to almost reverent. As he finally released the poor foreigner's menu back into his control, though, Kirk regained his vocal posture.

"An' like I was saying, I'm just a friend by coincidence, nothin' ta do with no..."

Way he was speaking about makes me think more than social gathering. 'Clients, Manpower, et cetera.'

"...Mission?"
he ventured.
Kirk Poirier - New Orleans

@KoL@TheWindel@Vesuvius00@PKMNB0Y


With an almost preternaturally satisfying crunch, the strong jaws of one auburn haired and musclebound twenty-year old tore into the crisp, perfectly-seasoned breading of a golden-brown drumstick.

Always worth the drive.

God, he missed Fried Chicken. And Gumbo. And everything else involving flour, really. All Winter, from the beginning scrimmages in November up until the NCAA Championships at the end of March, he had kept himself balanced upon the razor's edge with his weight control. Every meal, every workout, every cut planned to the smallest minutiae to get him down to 174 pounds and do so fluently enough to wrestle against the best in the nation that very same afternoon. Fried Foods were a thing of the past. Hydration? Heavily restricted. Booze?

You'd be insane.

His effort, his long months of grueling, grinding effort, of wanting to die every time he stepped into the gym and wanting to kill every time he stepped onto the mat, standing amongst savage men from every other titan of the Midwest, had not been for nothing. He'd grappled his heart out, upsetting his longtime bracket nemesis Joshua Bettendorf (nice guy off the mat, actually) from OSU for a third place finish overall. A 6-5 nailbiter, won off of a last-minute granby roll and subsequent reversal. He wasn't champion. Not yet. But this year had been one of tremendous growth and broken limits. He'd get it next time. He was certain.

And now that the season was over, one newly minted All-American could enjoy himself for real. Willie Mae's was infamous for their fried chicken for damn good reason— everything was authentic, and everything was done to produce a quality experience. Even the service was a warm and friendly Louisiana hospitality.

"'Scuse me, honey."

The Lafayette boy looked up readily to his assigned server, a middle-aged woman with dark skin and a kindly, if a little chatty, demeanor. Her New Orleans accent was different from his slightly "Frencher" Lafayette twang, but many of the customers were coming in from out-of-state on some spring break trip or what-have-you. Only he and Lorena here would catch the subtle differences.

"I hate to do this to ya, but we gotta large party comin' in and..."

She leaned forward conspiratorially, a small snicker on her lips.

"You've got the only open table left in the house."

The wrestler caught on quick, straightening out his dark tank top, and waved her concerns away.

"Yeah, I don't mind sharing none."

"You sure? They're not all here yet."

"Naw, it's no trouble."

This time, it was he that pretended to share a big secret.

"Tellin' the truth, I was getting a li'l lonely all by myself anyway."

Lorena's lips peeled back into a grand smile, and she started off back towards the front.

"Bless your heart! You go ahead and enjoy the food! Holler if you need anything!"

He watched her go, before taking a sip of his water and shrugging brawny shoulders.

May as well, then. He was sure the newcomers wouldn't bother him badly. Not enough to not be a Good Samaritan.
@Guess Who@NaraK@HereComesTheSnow

HTTS - Shipment Protection

"Hey, walrus fat burns really well, right?"


"I mean, yeah, it oughta." came the reply after careful consideration. "Fat's fat, and fats burn. That's why I toasted those burger buns the other day in clarified butter. Regular butter's smoke point's too low."

He reached quite calmly into his pouch of ball bearings, tossing the handful retrieved into the air. Much like Taidan earlier, the orbs hung, gleaming in the air for a moment as though suspended in glass.

Then they began to spin, following a lazy figure-eight drawn by the steel-scalped senior and gradually picking up speed. Faster and faster, tighter and tighter, their shining dance refined itself further with each turn, eventually to the point where even the experienced Hunter's hand could scarcely track their path—

Until abruptly, one shot towards a Hrossvalr's head with a thought, at this point closer to a silvered bullet than anything else. The rest soon followed, directed towards key points like eyes and mouth, where the protective blubber was either at its thinnest or not present. Optic Nerves lead back into the brain, the throat is the clearest gateway to spinal chord...

A few even crashed against its tusks in an attempt to snap the thick enamel. Why let them scuff up the floor?

"Just make sure the deck doesn't accidentally catch too."

These were definitely just the practice round, anyway. At their level, it could be expected that a mission would always have something bigger in store than a few fat bodies.
@TheFake You think? I personally thought it’s troubled development cycle bled through too clearly in the story. Still enjoyed it and found the game a return to form, but it felt way too raw off the cutting board for me, as well as five missions or so too short.
@ERode I worry for my humble athlete, he knows not what he’s in for.

@Norschtalen you know it dude
I guess i get to play the fucking rando of the game
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