@FallenTrinity
Sure thing! The picture is a tad bit more medieval than the RP is going to be so I first just want to make sure it's clear that this is still modern day, just with swords and magic and tradition. Imagine today's college students, but more knightly or noble. Lol.
(So, I doubt he'd be 23, as much as the picture makes me think.)
Magic and Melee do not, culturally, mix well. I know it makes perfect sense for them to, however, as is the culture of the RP, Magic stays in the Magic Order (Twilight) and Melee stays with the Physical Order (Shield). I'm still working on my Shield teacher (the Dean) for an example of this. Even I realize that these CSs can be a sort of... process. But the end result should be very, very well thought out.
4th Rank is okay for now, but I don't think ranks will be finalized. I hope no one takes offense to this, but just so no one is fighting for a position, I think I'm going to assign ranks later on so that the character that gets the rank deserves it. That being said, having the character at the 25th rank is not bad. I'd rather you have a character who is bad at everything that can improve, rather than one that is already at the peak of their character development. If they are at their peak, then where do they go from there? (Hence why I already made NPCs for the first 3 ranks. ^-^; Henry has his own issues that'll be revealed once I get his CS done.)
I'd like to see more for his day to day attire as well as from his strengths and weaknesses. If you look at Mr. Hampton's CS, you'll see that I included a brief description explaining the specifics of his strengths and weaknesses. For example, "Low Strength" seems very self explanatory, however the description lets you know that he's tried weapons before, and is willing to pick up a dagger if needed, he just wouldn't be very good with it. It gives his weakness... flavor, if you will.
You'll need to finish up the personality section, obviously. :P
The Skills section also need descriptions for the same reasons as the strengths and weaknesses. It gives them flavor and can also explain how they obtained those skills. Who taught them? What reason did they gain this skill? If they're an expert or master, what got them to that point? Also, please try to think a bit more on what skills really should be expert and which should be novice, apprentice, etc. I didn't regulate this section because my thoughts were that people could handle it. Try to spread it around a bit. :P
(Also, if he's an expert at swordsmanship, I'm going to say no to being an expert as magic as well. The two counteract each other and he couldn't honestly be perfect or even close to perfect in both. If he has physical prowess, his studies should suffer because you can't study and work out. If at all, he would only be journeyman at both if he were to pick both up. (for which Ms. Grimarth would give him shit.)
As for Powers and Talents, etc, He can only get one major, two minor as a 4th year knight. Not.. uhh.... 10. Ye. He can of course have other maneuvers, but this section would be for his major and signature moves. He's not limited to these, but... you could just call them the ace up his sleeve. Lol.
The childhood description is good and gives us a good idea at why he is such a clean cut and strict knight, however, who was his father? Was his father an important knight? Did he just want his son to be the knight he couldn't be? Did his dad's noble die for some reason and caused him grief? Was it his mother? -legasp- It's obviously unfinished, but these are my thoughts for now. :P
Now, I'm off to spend the day with my best friend. I'll check in on my phone but don't expect long posts like this one from me for now. These types of posts will have to wait until I get back home.
Sure thing! The picture is a tad bit more medieval than the RP is going to be so I first just want to make sure it's clear that this is still modern day, just with swords and magic and tradition. Imagine today's college students, but more knightly or noble. Lol.
(So, I doubt he'd be 23, as much as the picture makes me think.)
Magic and Melee do not, culturally, mix well. I know it makes perfect sense for them to, however, as is the culture of the RP, Magic stays in the Magic Order (Twilight) and Melee stays with the Physical Order (Shield). I'm still working on my Shield teacher (the Dean) for an example of this. Even I realize that these CSs can be a sort of... process. But the end result should be very, very well thought out.
4th Rank is okay for now, but I don't think ranks will be finalized. I hope no one takes offense to this, but just so no one is fighting for a position, I think I'm going to assign ranks later on so that the character that gets the rank deserves it. That being said, having the character at the 25th rank is not bad. I'd rather you have a character who is bad at everything that can improve, rather than one that is already at the peak of their character development. If they are at their peak, then where do they go from there? (Hence why I already made NPCs for the first 3 ranks. ^-^; Henry has his own issues that'll be revealed once I get his CS done.)
I'd like to see more for his day to day attire as well as from his strengths and weaknesses. If you look at Mr. Hampton's CS, you'll see that I included a brief description explaining the specifics of his strengths and weaknesses. For example, "Low Strength" seems very self explanatory, however the description lets you know that he's tried weapons before, and is willing to pick up a dagger if needed, he just wouldn't be very good with it. It gives his weakness... flavor, if you will.
You'll need to finish up the personality section, obviously. :P
The Skills section also need descriptions for the same reasons as the strengths and weaknesses. It gives them flavor and can also explain how they obtained those skills. Who taught them? What reason did they gain this skill? If they're an expert or master, what got them to that point? Also, please try to think a bit more on what skills really should be expert and which should be novice, apprentice, etc. I didn't regulate this section because my thoughts were that people could handle it. Try to spread it around a bit. :P
(Also, if he's an expert at swordsmanship, I'm going to say no to being an expert as magic as well. The two counteract each other and he couldn't honestly be perfect or even close to perfect in both. If he has physical prowess, his studies should suffer because you can't study and work out. If at all, he would only be journeyman at both if he were to pick both up. (for which Ms. Grimarth would give him shit.)
As for Powers and Talents, etc, He can only get one major, two minor as a 4th year knight. Not.. uhh.... 10. Ye. He can of course have other maneuvers, but this section would be for his major and signature moves. He's not limited to these, but... you could just call them the ace up his sleeve. Lol.
The childhood description is good and gives us a good idea at why he is such a clean cut and strict knight, however, who was his father? Was his father an important knight? Did he just want his son to be the knight he couldn't be? Did his dad's noble die for some reason and caused him grief? Was it his mother? -legasp- It's obviously unfinished, but these are my thoughts for now. :P
Now, I'm off to spend the day with my best friend. I'll check in on my phone but don't expect long posts like this one from me for now. These types of posts will have to wait until I get back home.