Avatar of jynmi88
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    1. jynmi88 8 yrs ago
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4 yrs ago
Current Kind of going through a breakdown. Some personal stuff is getting mess.. Thanks to some idiots who not only left the fan on but threw shit right at it!
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Deep beneath the division 12's building chaos danced like a madman, in the rain, during a thunder storm, while death mettle played in the background. Lightning cackled like a mad scientist who was certain his creation was about to rise from the table. Various screens and dials jumped from one scene or number, without any apparent rhyme or reason. Shadows flashed along the strange, myriad of machines that filled vast space that went by the simple of name of Mayuri's lab.

"Hmmm." The man of what he considered to be his home, nodded. He was dressed in his usual fashion, which many would consider to be unusual, slouched over a screen, grinning from ear to ear. Something strange was going on, and he couldn't wait to prod it, and see if injecting it with his own creations would yield some interesting results. "Mmmhmmm. Yes. Yes." He ignored the footsteps which echoed towards him.

"Master Mayuri" a young woman with purple hair said, meekly, as she forced herself to slow down before reaching him. "You have a guest!"

"Bah." The captain of the twelfth division mutterer. He made a slashing motion with his hands that was meant to let her know he didn't want to be disturbed.

"But master Mayuri!" The woman in purple said.

"I'm busy." The captain snapped, using a tone that made it clear he wasn't interested in discussing the matter further. "Get rid of whoever it is. I'm very busy at the moment, and don't have any interest in anything but what's right in front of me on this screen."

"Ah! Busy as always, I see." Said a tall, light skinned man, with high cheek bones, and a eye patch over his right eye. "You know a break wouldn't kill you." Shunsui sighed as he stepped up to look at whatever it was his fellow captain was looking over. It was all Greek to him.

"Breaks are far too tiresome." Mayuri muttered in a rush of excitement. His hands fiddled with some dials near the edge of the table, and the images on the screen switched to numbers, a lot of numbers, all moving in such a way that only a fool or mad genius would bother trying to keep up with them. "All they do is wet my appetite for my next great work!"

"Speaking of which?" The man with the pink kimono said as he leaned up against a machine that, against all expectations, wasn't humming at the moment. "Will you be joining us for today's festivities?"

"Hmmm?" Mayuri mumbled. "festivities? I have no time for such trifling matters. Can't see you see I'm the precipice of something grand? What matter are a few streamers and whistles compared to what I'm about to embark on? Hmmm?"

Shunsui shrugged. "If you say so. I just figured you'd like to give a speech and show off how your Prodigy Genesis program was coming along?"

"Ahhhhh!" The young woman in the purple dress gasped. "Master Mayuri, that's today. The graduation ceremony is today!" It was tempting to bounce with excitement to see what became of their big project, but she'd learn some time ago it wasn't best to be so loud and energetic when her master was close by.

"Oh." The man's in the black and white face paint smiled. His teeth weren't white, but they weren't black and falling out either. There was a bet, among the more courageous members of the twelfth division that the man's teeth weren't actually his teeth at all, but some he made, and probably put in himself. However, there were no members brave enough to ask. Which wasn't due to fear the man would be insulted by their questions, but more the fear that the captain would suddenly remember they existed and figure that they'd be good enough for whatever sadistic experiment he was currently building up in the dark recesses of his mind. "That's today, isn't it?" The man stood up strange and tapped his finger, that ended in a long, long purple nail, against his chin. "Well, it's not for a few more hours. There's plenty I can get check of my to do list before going."

"Mayuri." The captain commander laughed. "That is a surprise. It's not like you to lose track of date like that."

"Humph." Mayuri snapped, turning on the man. "Nothing of the sort has happened." Without a word, the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, circular object with a screen and several buttons. "Look." He pushed a button and the screen lit up like a child who learned he wasn't going to be kicked out of the house at 2AM so his parents could have some alone time. There was a moment of static before an image came to focus.

On said image there was a young woman with blue hair, and the customary outfit of the shinigami. "I've got them all under tabs." The woman was sitting at the counter of a small, but popular bar and grill, poking at her food. Her eyes moved from one person to another, trying to figure out who could be pushed to do something interesting.

Shunsui nodded. "Kokatsu Ririsu, an interesting one that. She's going to be a bit of trouble some day. Sort of like a certain mad scientist I know, if only she could manage to get herself to focus on something long enough to be productive." The man grinned. "But that's just luck. I'm sure you couldn't have kept an eye on all of them that closely."

"You underestimate me." Mayuri's grin moved from ear to ear. "I've got them all covered. Here just watch..."....
@Kaesus

Had it ready xD



Hmmm. There are a couple of issues with your character sheet.
1. The character's backstory doesn't sink up with the overall story of the Rp. Which is Mayuri managed to create a way to force activate the prodigy gene (the reason behind Gin's and Toshiro's advanced skill), but only in a small number of the soul society's inhabitants. Then, said members were 'drafted' into the Shinigami academy. The rp will take place a couple of years after that, starting just around the point where they graduate. So they wouldn't have any idea of what division they'll eventually be in. (They'll all start in the same place though.)
2. I'm not sure if zanpakuto's work that way. Yes, the fifth seat from the 11th division had an altered form of his shikai, but said form didn't grant it any special abilities. It was just a weapon with multiple curved blades.
@Renny

@jynmi88 Nice I wasn't expecting to see a Zanpakuto of your type in the RP for some reason. I'm pleasantly surprised.


Which is weird. Summons are cool!
I'm surprised nobody tried to do a hypnosis type Zanpakuto! O.O
@Kaesus

still accepting people?


Yes, but you might want to hurry because I plan on starting today, in a bit
Okay. Here's my CS. Sorry for taking so long to get it up. I kept going back and forth between this shikai and the one that was more in line with the eventual bankai.
I've got an early morning tomorrow, but for sure I'll have the starter up sometime after work, if I don't manage to get it before.


@Renny

@jynmi88 Alright, so I switched up my Shikai ability, since I was incapable of fitting my image onto Yidrias, I went with my second choice and is going to have it being a lightning-type Zanpakuto.


Alrighty! Your characters looks good.
Approved!
@Renny

@jynmi88 I fixed the first mistake. As for the abilities, its not adhering to a single class of Zanpakuto. I did change his enhanced strength to be restricted to his armored arm though. And also switched up his Shikai ability.




@jynmi88 Sorry for disappearing. I was taken on a two day excursion lol. I'm back now.


The backstory is good to go now, but there's still issue with the shikai's ability.
Of course, a shikai doesn't have to fall into a single type, but usually they do tend to have one core ability from which all secondary abilities are derived. From what I can gather, your character's shikai has three. Revolt, dark fire clones, and increased strength in his sword wielding arm.

Now, I'm fine with the increased strength section because it's so basic and is limited to one arm, but the revolt and dark fire clones are two different abilities that each have potential to branch out over a wide area. So I'm going to have to ask that you select one of those, or find a way to make it so one of the abilities falls in with the other.

@BladeSS4

Let's try this again.

Sorry about the grammar mistakes, My grammar does suck from time to time. I do improve though or at least I try to as I go. Always trying to reread things before posting them, but yeah, this is far from the best character I have created. Hopefully with the changes i made to the ability of the shikai will be better now.

As for your other conserns, the number 2 point, I wasnt planning on making Bakuto a vizard. The hollow stuff I added isnt suppose to lead to being a vizard it is to explain his more chaotic personality and to explain why he might have quirks as the rp starts to move.

As for the third consern, I changed the zanpakuto's shikai ability as i said before.. Going with something hopefully a bit more acceptable. Going for a more of a wind enhanced zanpakuto instead of the reashi manipulating one that was before. Going to leave room for the characer to grow as the rp goes on hopefully


Okay. Your character is accepted now. Just try and keep an eye on the grammar from this point on and things should be good.
@Crimson Lion@Crimson Lion@Masahiro@Champion
Just a head's up you guys. We'll probably get started in the next couple of days. I'm just trying to hold out a little bit more for the people who're still working on their CSs
@Renny



@jynmi88 Sorry for disappearing. I was taken on a two day excursion lol. I'm back now.

Hey! Welcome back. To be honest, was a bit worried you lost interest. So it's good to see you're still interested.

As for your CS, there's a couple issues.
1. All our characters are starting off at about the same place, which will be just before graduating from the Shinigami academy. Which causes a bit of issue with your character's background since it states that he's already working in the 12th division.
2. I'm a bit confused on what your character's shikai does. I get the part about revolting, as in rebelling, and how flight would fit in, but I'm not sure how it would incorporate doubling your character's physical abilities. Is it based on revolt in some way like it increases the amount he's capable of pushing something away from him, or?......

@BladeSS4

Hope you are still accepting characters just threw this character together hope it works for this.



Yes, there's still space.
However, there area few issues with your CS.
1. The Grammar is a little bad. Normally, I don't mind, because this is only a casual level rp, and everybody makes mistakes, but some of this is a bit difficult to read.
2. Regarding the part where you character is inside a hollow. While for the most part this is fine, there is one thing I want to make clear. Currently, none of the characters have any unique potential to be vizards. Yes, there is a possibility that somewhere down the line a "vizarding" situation will occur, that's not case now. So at the most, all could be said about the event was it left psychological damages.
3. I'm going to have to say no on the shikai ability. While I'm open to some bankai being able to manipulate Reishi, later on, it's a hard no on shikai which are capable of doing this. As it's just too broken of an ability for too early on in the series.
3.5 Also, for future record, I'm going to say that no single ability is going to be able to mess with all forms of Reishi. At the most lenient It'll either be basic reishi or sentient reishi(the kind associated with a spiritual entity and yes this does include kido)
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