Lady Selune

Welcome to the Weirdest World War

Bump folks, note the discord!

Welcome to the Weirdest World War

If you're interested, join the discord!

discord.gg/8Qtnb66

Welcome to the Weirdest World War

Or wilkommen, based on which side of the war you're on! Tickets are now being taken for entry to the zaniest interpretation of the Second World War, and the people that fought within it!

The state of the world is as follows. The year is now 1939. The planet is Earth. The British Empire, using a mysterious substance generally known as 'Blend,' has kept control of the Empire with an iron grasp. Blend allows for disparate genetic relatives to be stiched together, creating hybrids of almost any creature under the sun, and several that never see it, including humanity. Blend's first trial was during the American Insurrection, a minor squabble in North America where a group of disparate rebels claiming to be a new 'United States' were rapidly crushed by crudely Blended bears and dogs.

Since then, Blend has only gotten more sophisticated. Most Blended species seen today take three, four and very often far more species and subtly weaves their genetics together to form bizarre and bloody useful species. These include the Living Zepplins- giant, whale-based animals that can soar through the skies and repair themselves when they spring a leak, their distant cousins of 'Navigators,' an underwater beast that can carry dozens of people underwater for weeks at a time, and much much more.

Meanwhile, on the continent, the upstart Germans have been doing their own experiments. With the mysterious substance of Ueberium, German engineers can defy the laws of physics itself. Giant mechs, planes that almost never need to stop flying and crude cyborgs are the realms of German superscience, and they have put these to good use after their humiliating defeat in the Great War. The new German war machine is primed to enter Poland, and kickstart another bloody battle for dominance.

The rest of the world has not slept however. In Japan, Emperor Hirohito has been said to have been visited by the very gods themselves, who crowned him as the chosen leader of all mankind. His followers, whipped into a frenzy, have launched a glorious crusade, with the British Empire in Asia, and especially in the American colonies, rallying to respond against this new threat. In France, battle fervour found in the trenches of the first wold war has lead to France itself rapidly exploding in population, and they're eager to cut their teeth against a fresh German invasion.

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If that sounds like a setting that interests you, come on in here, we're more than happy to accept ya!

EDIT: Discord! discord.gg/8Qtnb66

Underrated and Overrated Video Games

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP FUCKOS, ‘CAUSE LADY SELUNE GON’ TELL YOU ‘BOUT SOME GAMES.

Now that I’ve got your attention, have a gander at these rooty-tooty-point-and-shooty games that are actually fun, and a couple more hat are just straight up garbage thankee kindly.

First up, we have a criminally underrated game: Rising Storm 2, 1960s flashback simulator Vietnam. This game involves some of the best fucking gunplay I’ve ever seen, hands down. Guns in RS2 feel like you’ve got a big hunk of polymer in your hands that spit out death. The M1 is a fucking fantastic gun, because every thudding shot sounds amazing from it. The Mosin Nagant makes me cream my pants every time that I use it to shoot an American. Admittedly, the AK and SKS are trash that feels like you’re trying to hit people with a damp roll of newspaper, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that taking an AK, setting it to fully automatic and spraying down a closet is still awesome.

The roles that the game has are tasty too. Sure, you have your basic grunt role, which amounts to ‘here gun, here grenade, shoot,’ but there are also scouts that get SMGs and shotguns, grenadiers and RPG troopers that get bloop tubes and… RPGs… Machine gunners that get enough firepower to clear houses from the outside, and the ultimate bros, your radioman and commander.

Commanders get pointers from squad leaders, and use them to fuck the other team in the dick with artillery, napalm, gunships or just spawning the entirety of North Vietnam directly on the enemy team’s point. Then, to top it off, if you’re born in the USA like a true patriot, you can get behind the rotors of a helicopter, and proudly show off the red white and BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT.

Another game that takes fully automatic guns and makes them kill you in like, no time at all is Insurgency, and that game is overrated. Now, you might be saying ‘are you high for the fiftieth time this week, Insurgency is an indie shooter that barely anyone plays’ and to that I say no, shut the fuck up, it’s overrated. Why? Because the game is widely considered good, and it isn’t. Every SINGLE game goes the same way. Race to get the class that has your favourite and near-identical gun for the cheapest. Walk towards the objective, spraying down every potential hiding spot. Die. Repeat.

Apart from Ambush, otherwise known as VIP extraction which is the only decent gamemode and is practically fucking dead, it might as well just be a bad call of duty inspired source mod, which is why the fact that NWI, the developers, made the next game on my list is confusing.
Because Day of Infamy is FUCKING AMAZING. The problems regarding samey guns is gone. Classes actually mean things, rather than swapping you between having two different types of SMGs that handle near identically. Bolt action rifles are worth a damn, and every class has a very specific role that it needs to fufill. Unless your snipers are taking out their MGs and officers (who much like in RS2, can fuck the enemy right inside their dicks by dropping high explosives on their heads,) your MGs are working crowd control, your assaults and flamethrowers are pushing objectives and your engineers are blowing shit up, you ain’t winning boyo.

In fact, the only issue I have with Day of Infamy is that their map design is garbage. There’s approximately one map that’s actually good, and one other map that’s fun, those being a map set during the Nazi invasion of Greece, where Commonwealth troops beat a fighting retreat through narrow streets, wide open courtyards, and finally a fucking CASTLE, and the obligatory Omaha Beach map, where you need to actually assault the beach, then push towards a terrifyingly open MG nest, and then finally root the Germans out of a bunker system to secure the win. Other than these two maps, which aren’t free from issues, you have Brittany, where a German MG can set up shop almost directly on top of the US spawn before the game even starts, Dunkirk, where the final objective can be destroyed by an airstrike, and Sicily, featuring the world’s most complicated cathedral ever to exist, and a bunch that you’ll play like twice before you end up on Omaha beach again.

From WW2 though, we fast forward to a game that I actually like, but is still a total piece of garbage no matter which way you cut it. Rainbow Six fucking Siege. A tactical game with no actual tactics other than ‘pick a fast operator and YEET around the map like a motherfucker, with a balancing team seemingly perpetually drunk, having stabbed themselves in the eye with a fork and are now puking everywhere. I’ve played the game for more than two years, and I can’t stand it any more, because they can’t fucking decide what they want to do with the game.

That moves us onto ano- WOAH FOR HONOR WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM? How the shitfuck Ubisoft pulled this out of their asses I have no idea, because it’s actually managed to claw its way out of the pile of dead games like Jason Brody’s mass grave escape in Farcry 3. Having been whipped and abused non-stop by Ubisoft, who were seemingly desperate to curbstomp the first original IP they’ve had since one of them went on a drunken bender watching Doctor Who and came up with Assassin’s Creed, it’s now ACTUALLY FUN!

Ok, it’s an unbalanced mess of heroes that are bad and hilariously overpowered, with console being repeatedly fucked up the ass thanks to the fact that they have less FPS than PC making blocking some attacks nigh-impossible to avoid and a community so salty that League tells them to calm down, but it’s still fun! Maybe…

Alright, enough of this, I’m going to watch the two lovebirds in this thread fellate each other’s rage boners for the next 3 years.

Lady Selune Wishes to RP With You! [Always Looking] [Ignore Post Count (It's All Bumps)]

I have subverted the Chinese Firewall that is great. However I am now bored out of my mind, please send RPs.

Lady Selune Wishes to RP With You! [Always Looking] [Ignore Post Count (It's All Bumps)]

Currently in a massive weeb mood. Bring it on babies!

The Redwatch

@River Goblin

Myrtle and Willow return. Myrtle has been cleaned up, Willow will be.

Myrtle

”Ya can't be sittin' around on yer arse wen dere be gnawers dat need ya 'elp! Git!"

Name:
Myrtle Bannermaid, Myrtle of the Banner, Myrtle of Burrowhill, Myrtle the Armless

Rank:
Watchguard. Despite questions being raised regarding how effective she is with only one arm. Myrtle is not one to listen to those that doubt her. She's been leading soldiers effectively even with her only arm, and she's not about to stop because some milksop told her to.

Appearance:
Even though a country bumpkin, Myrtle is not a terribly bad looking mouse. She has suffered the scars of battle as everyone who has served in the watch will inevitably do, but she has escaped the worst of it unharmed, bar for her obvious maiming. Her ears, which are a pale white rather than pink inside, lack the torn and scarred appearance that some watchguard have, and although some of her fur has been replaced by silvery scar tissue, a lot of it is still full and healthy.

The colour of her fur too, is not disagreeable. It's a reddish-auburn colour, lacking the true sheen of a copper coloured mouse, but at the same time with enough fire to it to keep it away from the blandness of brown. Nt only is it relatively unmarred by scar tissue, but Myrtle makes a clear effort to keep her fur clean and tidy, and it does indeed pay off when someone takes the time to look for it. Finally, her tail, whilst not particularly long, is that way naturally. One of the most common injuries for a watchmouse is the tip of their tail to be sliced, a fate that she has somehow managed to avoid.

Of course, these are not the features that one tends to notice when looking at Myrtle for the first time. The most glaring thing about Myrtle of Burrowhill is that she is badly crippled. Below the elbow, her left arm simply does not exist. Instead, she wears a shirt, the arm tied tightly around the stump in order so that the tissue there is hidden from the light of day, although the loss of a limb is not so easy to hide away and out of sight. The shirts she wears also happen to be too long for her- this is deliberate, as it allows for them to double up as short dresses, practical for reducing the amount of extra layers of clothing she piles onto herself.

The hooded cloak she wears is a bright scarlet colour, although faded somewhat by age. Two slits have been cut in the hood to allow her ears to poke through, and whilst the bottom of the cape is slightly worn and ragged, it is overall in a good condition. In addition to the cape, Myrtle is rarely seen without her banner. Almost twice as tall as she is, the banner is excellently made, and bears the colours the Redwatch, and of the nest that she has been in since she was a greenband.

Personality:
Myrtle is a genuinely selfless individual- a person who would lay down her lift to save another mouse if she could. Despite her injuries, she refuses to confine herself to the Fort and while away her days sweeping the floors and making sure the halls are curated. Instead, she fights on despite her disabilities, not only to prove to others that a mouse may always give more of themselves to help others, but also because she believes that t is the right thing for her to do.

Her zeal however can also be her downfall. A hot-headed woman, her mentor recognised that she might face trouble, and although his efforts in taming her wild anger were in good faith, they had little effect on Myrtle's personality. Some might consider the wounded watchguard perhaps a little too eager to hurl herself into a fight, and perhaps they are right, but it s hard to fault her enthusiasm- or her results on the battlefield.

An interesting thing to note is that, contrary to the expectations of some, Myrtle does not have a martyr complex. In her own words, "I din go out and dere lookin' for de fights. De fights come to me tanks to wat I do, and den I fight 'em good." Or, in words that the average mouse can understand- there's no point in picking fights without cause. Of course, if she sees someone shirking from a fight that they should be getting involved in, she can bark like any of the drillmice inhabiting the Fort.

She does have a soft side however. Rarely seen to those who are not her relations, it is demonstrated remarkably well with how she acts around, and treats, her niece. Those who find herself being called her 'pal' are liable to see this side come out as well, the normally hot-headed Myrtle cooling down and become a downright pleasant conversational partner. If you can decipher her accent.

Statistics:
STR: 4. The lack of one of her arms means that whilst Myrtle is by no means weak, she simply can't put the same amount of force into something that a mouse without her disability might face.

CON: 12. What forced the amputation of her arm was nothing less than Formic Acid. The fact that there was even a need to amputate, rather than the entire arm being lost, speaks volumes to Myrtle's endurance.

DEX: 10. Any mouse is a naturally lithe and agile creature, although there are a fair few that will beat them in manoeuvrability. Myrtle is hardly a weasel, but at the same time is no mole either.

CHA: 18. To not be inspired by Myrtle is a task almost impossible in and of itself. She knows how to use words in a punchy and effective manner. Be it when attempting to wrestle information out of somebody or inspiring a squad to charge into the very jaws of death themselves, Myrtle's oratory prowess is startling.

INT: 7. Considering the fact that Myrtle has had very little formal education, her mental acuity can often be surprising. Of course, it pales in comparison to scholars, or even those who have received some training on top of an already keen mind, but her accent can be deceiving.

LUC: 2. From falling down hills in her youth to her arm being partially dissolved by a pack of ants, Myrtle often rolls poorly with the dice of fate.

REP: 9 Myrtle is extremely well known, but at the same time very polarising. Supporting her despite her failings or disliking her thanks to the fact that she is a cripple is a choice often seen as binary- but most superiors at least accept that she can lead.

Equipment:
Watchbanner:
A masterfully crafted piece of equipment. Twice as tall as the mouse that wields it, and with the capability to be used as a weapon, the Watchbanner is a rallying beacon on the battlefield. It has a smooth, rich blackthorn shaft, and ends in a hardened, steel-shod tip on one end, with a counterweight at the other. The banner- taller than it is wide, bears the banners of her nest and of the Redwatch.

Traits & Abilities:
+Rallying Cry: For de Watch! Friendly mice that can either hear Myrtle or see the watchbanner gain a +2 bonus to their condition, strength and dexterity. The bonus lasts until they move out of earshot or sight of Myrtle, or are incapacitated. Myrtle also benefits from this ability.

+One For All: Let no friend die! When Myrtle is protecting or assisting an ally, they gain a +2 bonus to condition, strength and dexterity. This bonus is accumulative with the bonus gets from Rallying Cry, for a potential +4 to condition, strength and dexterity.

-Zealous: Git back from dem! If a mouse is in danger, Myrtle must help if she physically can. If she is restrained, injured, unaware or cannot reach the mouse, zealous does not trigger. Zealous triggering will automatically ensure that One For All triggers, thus providing the benefits from that ability.

-Crippled: Rather obviously, Myrtle is missing a limb. She automatically fails any two handed rolls, excluding those for polearms should she have time to brace them, any archery rolls, and can only climb with the assistance of a ladder or rope.

Trade:
Myrtle comes from Burrowhill, a community that is filled with farmers. Although her relatives also include blacksmiths, it would be quite likely that had she not entered the army, she would have ended up selling what the family grows a market.

Friend: Blake Hillwillow.
On her first mission as a fully fledged watcher, Myrtle saved the life of a rather rich noblemouse, without realising it. Since then, she has received small amounts of money from a mysterious sponsor, and Blake keeps an eye on her exploits from afar.

Enemy: Moor Burrowhill.
A childhood enemy and fellow watchmouse. Willow and Moor have scuffled with one another since they were pups. Although in a different nest to Willow, the animosity between them has not faded in the slightest, and a meeting between the two has a tendency of ending up with conflict.

History:
Burrowhill is a peculiar place. A farming town, the gnawers that live there speak with an accent so heavy that many scholars have debated if it is truly an accent, or instead a dialect. To the mice that live there, it matters not. Burrowhill mice tend to be proud of their humble roots, and Myrtle is no exception to that, having been born along with three other sisters and two brothers, one of each survived with her to childhood.

Myrtle’s silver tongue has been with her her entire life. Deception came as easily to her as comedy did, and she was always proficient at persuading the other kids in Burrowhill to go along with schemes that they really oughtn't to. Sadly though, what could have been a pleasant and peaceful existence was spoiled, not by any outward influence, but by Myrtle herself.

As a young adult, she felt the urge to do something bigger and better with her life than till fields. Although passionate and more than a little rash, her almost violent zeal had yet to form as she moved out of her small town and into the larger cities, scraping employment whilst still looking for something that could truly fulfil her. An epiphany brought to her by another night sleeping rough, Myrtle finally bit the bullet and signed up with the watch, a role in which she has excelled in.

Willow

"Just ‘ause we’re ‘oung doesn’t make us any worse at proteting dem people den you!

Name: Willow of Burrowhill

Rank: Greenband

Appearance: For a mouse, and especially a female mouse, Willow is exceptional. She’s taller and wider than average, and uses an equipment set that most mice would struggle to wear, let alone sprint in. With a Warhammer as tall as she is, a heavy metal ‘bucket’ helm, a thick gambeson and splinted greaves, as well as a buckler shield, she’s no small force on the battlefield, although her little green band sort of removes her intimidation factor.

Without her armour, she’s actually very pretty. Her fur is bordering on copper, with a black patch of fur splotched over her chest, where her heart lies. This is considered a rather auspicious marking by most mice- showing that she is destined to die a violent death, something that she has taken to heart.

Personality: It’s hard to be a relative to Myrtle without some of her burning fire rubbing off onto you. Willow, a lot of her formative years having been shaped by her aunt, has a little more than ‘some’ of that fire. If her aunt’ll run through a burning building to save someone however, Willow will stare down a fox in order to let a group of gnawers run for it. Her choice of weaponry and armour is endemic of this, although it is not the only thing that shows off this part of her personality.

Her ‘birthmark’ has affected her a lot. Being told practically from birth, often sadly, that she was going to die violently. Instead of thinking she was doomed however, she has interpreted this to believe that she will die in battle, and has internalised a fatalistic, but not overly negative, view of things. Running contrary to common gnawer belief, she hopes that by dying doing something noble or honourable, she’ll end up an afterlife with other warriors. This has been taken from truly ancient mythology, and she kinda has to keep it a secret so she isn’t completely reviled.

Lastly, Willow is a self-sufficient individual most of the time. She can tend to her armour herself, and because of a lonely childhood, feels just as comfortable around herself as she does others. Her Burrowhill accent does not help matters, it must be said.

STR: 16: She’s strong enough to wear a lot of armour and still bring down most of what the world throws at her. Never skips leg day.
CON: 12. She can take a hit without going down, although she lets her armour take the hits.
DEX: 5. It’s ah… Not her strong point.
CHA: 8. It’s not really her strong suite, but her fur and face are more important in social interactions than her raw force of character
INT: 10. She’s as clever as the next mouse out there.
LUC: 9. One could consider the fact that she’s destined to die a violent death pretty unlucky, but in life, she’s managed just fine.

Equipment:
- Warhammer: This is a well-made hammer, produced by her father to her as a gift on her nameday. It’s got some minor detailing to it, but is otherwise a simple-yet-sturdy oak shaft, with bands of steel around it to prevent splinters, and a large hammer head. Effective in Willow’s hands. (Four points.)

- Gambeson: A simple gambeson purchased in the Burrowhill market. It’ll stop an arrow- barely- but is hardly something you want to rely on to protect you in the long term. At least it’s something though. (Two points.)
Traits:
+ Beautiful: Willow instantly passes charisma rolls against any mouse with sexual interest in her.

+/- Fighting Fury: The effects of poison and fire do not affect Willow until combat ends. Additionally, she does not fall unconscious when her health reaches zero, and she does not die until it reaches -4, instead of the usual -2. She can only activate this trait once per day.

+/- Death Seeker: Willow must enter any combat situation if she physically can. If she is restrained, injured, unaware or cannot reach the combat, Death Seeker does not trigger. However, if she can enter combat, she must. She gains a bonus to condition, dexterity and strength in any fight that Death Seeker drags her into- If she is ambushed or surprised, Death Seeker does not trigger. The exception to Death Seeker is when it cannot be counted as a ‘fight-‘ such as an encounter with a bear.

- Klutz: There’s no disguising it. Willow can trip over her own feet, and has done so more than once. -3 to running, sneaking and archery

Trade: Thanks to her mark, Willow has always known she was going to join the watch. Despite this, she’s picked up a number of useful skills from her father at the forge, and can maintain weapons and armour to a reasonable degree. If you need a blade sharpened or a dent sorted, come to Willow.

Friend: Merry Boulderest: One of the few people that didn’t tease her as a child- she was another mouse that was a little different. Merry is a sculptor now, and the two have maintained as much contact as she could.

Enemy: Algar of Redfield: A more ‘traditional’ member of the watch, and finds her both painfully ignorant and her death seeking tendencies as stupid. He’ll find any reason to get in another jab at her, and every time they slide right off he gets more pissed.

History: Willow remembers a lot about her childhood. She was teased a lot, or straight-up bullied in most cases, although as she got taller and stronger, these tended to fade. Hearing tales of her aunt in the Watch, she knew that she would rather earn a death in battle than wait for a snake to come and kill her, ad took up the mantle as soon as she was old enough.

Primordial Extinction || A Dinosaur Apocalypse Roleplay

Aye aye captain!

Primordial Extinction || A Dinosaur Apocalypse Roleplay

@Sola
I don't care what anyone says, that Lion is getting ALL THE BITCHES with his all-you-can-eat lizard buffet.

Primordial Extinction || A Dinosaur Apocalypse Roleplay

You got me interested, especially since all the possibilities of humans with dinosaurs. Ankylosaurus bulldozers, Parasaurolophus steeds, Dilophosaurus hunting assistants... Personally, I'm thinking of perhaps a kid that has a troodon similar to a pet dog, or who's family breed and slaughter thescelosaurus.