There are stupid questions, but if you pretend you were just joking you should be okay.
3
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6 yrs ago
The best business pitch is to throw the business ball past the business batter to the business catcher.
1
like
6 yrs ago
I sometimes hear about someone having skeletons in their closet. Ok? How do you know they're still in there? You can't just assume a skeleton is gonna stay still. This is your house, not a graveyard.
Reiki spun around and around in her grandfather's office chair with a troubled look on her face. At the same time, she gave the grocer a warm smile as he bagged her fresh fruit. Meanwhile, she observed the numerous magi operating in Fuyuki. Far too numerous. Surely they couldn't all have been mobilized under one Master? If so, even the mighty Matou would likely crumble. But no, each was distinct, operating in their own way or in small groups. There was only one conclusion that could be reached from her observations of the many magi and occasional heroic spirits now active in and around town. The number of participants had increased.
"This is a really awful development, Lancer." She swivelled to look at the woman who sat on top of the desk. Reiki's desk, now that the house was empty.
Just as she made eye contact with her Servant, Reiki heard the front door open and then close as "Reiki" entered the house carrying groceries. She walked into the kitchen, placed her bags on the counter, and collapsed into a mass of worms which hastily dispersed to their hiding places. "Likely so, but those without strength will quickly fall in the chaos, and just one will be left, no matter the starting number." Her Servant stood from the desk and walked to the window. In theory, such an action could be described as absent-minded, but Lancer always seemed to consciously decide on everything she did. "Make no mistake about my power. Unless my wish can be granted in the midst of battle, I will be the last one standing."
Her Servant's death-wish. Even if it was troublesome, she had to respect Lancer's desires or there could be no partnership. "Well, I hope you can get what you want, but don't forget about me, okay?" She gave the woman a smile from behind, which shrunk somewhat as the thing she had been tracking reached within a few blocks of the manor. "Anyhow, it seems like there's a-"
"-A bird familiar bearing a letter." Lancer interrupted.
Reiki nodded wordlessly. She had seen the creature approach through her worms, but how had Lancer taken notice? Did the protective runes she had placed on the property extend that far, or was she making use of "Clairvoyance" or "Presence Detection" or something else along those lines. She couldn't be sure Lancer also somehow knew that the familiar in question had originated from Ryuudou Temple, but she wouldn't be surprised. Her intent had been to summon the Hound of Culann, but she had gotten lucky and ended up with a Servant with really amazing versatility. In any case, she sent a few flying units to carefully take hold of the messenger's payload. Once the winged worms carried the letter into the mansion, the bird turned back the way it had come, seemingly having satisfied the parameters of its mission. A moment after, Lancer opened the window and received the envelope from the worms. Reiki noticed her Servant raise an eyebrow as she glanced at the seal on the front. After a moment, she handed over the item, which Reiki took to mean that it contained no dangerous magical traps. Observing that Lancer's attention must have been grabbed by the runes covering the wax seal, Reiki produced a letter opener from a drawer and laid the message flat on the desk. "We're in luck, Lancer." Her face lit up as she read over the formal letter. "A Master in a favourable position is proposing an alliance."
"Dealing with the modern is your field of work. Just remember that at the very least, their Servant must eventually fall."
Always saying things to dampen her mood, that Lancer. Couldn't she enjoy the idea of some peaceful cooperation for even-
"Oh! She's found Shinji!" Reiki broke out into a joyous smile. "Well, there's no question about it now. I'd better write her back and invite her here for this afternoon." Reiki sat cross-legged in the swivel-chair, brought out a pen and paper, and got to work.
Scáthach
The Front Yard, Matou Manor
The response, a sealed letter bearing a wax seal of her Master's coat of arms, was carried off to the Temple by a group of winged insects. Lancer stood outside, leaning against the manor's front door while Reiki- the real Reiki, arranged chairs, a table, and a tablecloth in a small gazebo in the Matous' well-kept garden. The thing was located about halfway through the house's defences, such that they could invite their potential ally in as a show of trust while still leaving space behind for a retreat where it would be difficult to follow. Once Reiki seemed satisfied with the display, Lancer quickly moved to that point and scratched a few concealed runes in select places as preparation for conflict. This was almost over-caution. Playing it safe could get old quickly, but worse still was carelessly falling to an avoidable fate. For now, this house was her Land of Shadows and the other Servants were the spirits who sought to invade it. After all, killing gods and killing heroes were two different affairs entirely, and one couldn't always be relied on to be easier than the other.
"The preparations are complete. If there's nothing else, I'll remain on watch from the roof." She stepped back toward the manor, and after a moment she tensed her legs and-
"Oh, Lancer?"
She stopped.
"I know you said you didn't like anything else in the wardrobe, but since we're having guests, do you think you could look again?"
She sighed. Her Master's potential as a warrior would be best summed up as "a negative number."
"I will make an effort."
Nonetheless, she had grown a bit fond of the girl.
Name: Scáthach Titles: Queen of the Land of Shadows, Witch of Dun Scaith, Lord of Spirits Class: Lancer Gender: Female Birth and Death Dates: ? ? ? Alignment: Neutral Good
Personality A woman brimming with pride and confidence in her power, with a perfect understanding of the exact difference between herself and the mediocre. Although no one can deny her status as a queen once she claims it, her usual demeanour is more like a “teacher” to her allies and a “warden” to her enemies. Since this event is a rare chance to exist in the world for a time, she is able to accept calling a mage “Master” and conforming to other rules of the Grail War and world as a whole, although she is not willing to become some slave. Indeed, Lancer, who is aware of her status above normal people, has already decided to use he greatness to the benefit of the masses, being the “strong” who must protect the “weak.” Of course, she has her own desire in mind, as well.
Lancer has a keen eye for the qualities of people. She will never be left confused about her own actions, and can see through the motivations and personalities of others. Her specialty in this case is determining the potential of the person in question and whether or not they are mediocre. This is an important ability for Lancer, who has little patience for those lacking courage. Naturally then, her favourite people are those with great courage. Not just a foolhardy warrior too confident in his strength, but a warrior possessing the same extreme quality she once saw in her greatest pupil. She will begin speaking like a teacher too easily if she meets an ally with potential in the modern world, but will remember herself before she goes too far. Lancer’s wish, whether from the grail or in battle, is to find the one who can truly and finally kill her.
...If there's any chance, she hopes that person will be her beloved student.
Bio In Celtic mythology Scáthach or the Land of Shadows. Throughout her battles, Scáthach eventually ceased being human and started to be closed off from the World, unable to die as a human. She was known to be a master of combat and runes who many sought out for apprenticeship. At the age of sixteen, the hero Cú Chulainn traveled to the Land of Shadows in search of fame, and she became his mentor, guiding him in her arts and eventually granting him his favorite demonic spear, Gáe Bolg. She lamented, however, that she was too late in bestowing him that weapon as she had already reached the level where it was impossible for her to be killed by such a thing. Her sadness was made only greater as she used clairvoyance to foresee her pupil's demise but was forced to let him return to the world anyway. Eventually, the Land of Shadows itself became completely cut off from the mortal world, fully becoming a land of the dead. Still existing unto modern times and unable to become a Heroic Spirit on the Throne of Heroes, Scáthach has not ventured outside of the Land of Shadows for two thousand years. Unable to die, she can only wait until the time the World and its outside finally disappear.
...Well, that's how it ought to be. Just this once, perhaps as a "reward" for dutifully protecting her domain, she has been projected into the Lancer class. While she is not living exactly, Scáthach will retain her memories from this experience and cannot enter spirit form, though the latter may be supplemented with runecraft or wisdom. Although immortal, she can be "killed" as a Servant, at which point she will return to Dun Scaith. If it's a truly unparalleled attack, however, there is a chance it will be sufficient to end her completely, thus fulfilling her fondest wish.
Parameters Strength: B Endurance: A Agility: A Mana: C Luck: D
Class Skills -Magic Resistance A: Lancer can cancel spells of A-Rank or below targeting her, no matter what High-Thaumaturgy it is. In practice, she is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title her a 'Magus Killer'.
Personal Skills -God Slayer B: A skill held as the gatekeeper of the Land of Shadows who kills divine spirits daily. Lancer gains a plus modifier when attacking Divine Spirits, wraiths, and Servants with the divinity skill. -Primordial Rune: On a completely different level from the runes modern mages use, this is an incredibly powerful art spread about by the Norse god Odin. Even if it sounds like an unbelievable claim, it is accurate to say that Lancer is as capable with magecraft as she is with a spear. Most notably, her runes can be used for high-power attack, defence, healing, support skills, and parameter boosting, but there are countless combinations to write them in that can produce many different effects. -Wisdom of the Haunted Ground A+: The wisdom of the abyss, consequently acquired by transcending mankind, killing gods, and being left behind at the Outside of the World. Excluding those that are characteristic of certain heroes, almost all Skills can be practically demonstrated at a proficiency of B~A Rank. Also, only to those who she truly acknowledged as heroes, she can teach such Skills to them too. A Skill she often employs during combat is “Clairvoyance” for the foresight of combat situations. Even in the Ulster Cycle, she often predicted the future according to this foresight; even the last moments of her favourite pupil, Cú Chulainn.
Noble Phantasms Name: Gáe Bolg Alternative Title: Soaring Spears of Piercing Death Rank: B NP Type: Anti-Unit Range: 5~40 Maximum Number of Targets: 50 people Description: Two spears forged from the bones of a terrible sea monster. Although similar, neither of them are identical to her pupil's spear, as they are both one step older. Once the true name is called there are two possible techniques which can be used individually or in immediate succession. The first is a close-ranged thrust which, should it make contact with the enemy, will immobilize them by pinning them in a spot in the air. The second possible application is a thrown attack guaranteeing the target's demise. As opposed to her student's thrust which inflicts an instant kill by manipulating cause and effect and relying on the enemy's misfortune, this attack brings about "certain death" simply by virtue of its extreme speed, accuracy, and damaging power.
Name: Gate of Skye Title: Gate to the Magical Realm Brimming with Death Rank: A+ Type: Anti-Army Range: 2~50 Maximum Number of Targets: 200 people Description: The privilege of Scáthach as ruler of the isle of Skye. She can temporarily summon a massive gate to the Land of Shadows which sucks in all life forms in range. If the target fails to resist it with their Mana or Luck stat, they'll be sucked into the gate and instantly killed. Even if resisted, the targets' mana is rapidly pulled from their bodies, an effect which can be quite damaging to spiritual beings such as Servants. Scáthach can choose to exempt specific individuals from being drawn into the gate.
Name: Reiki Matou Gender: Female Age: 22 Alignment: Neutral Good Rank: Fes Objective for the Grail: To create a paradise by eliminating all evil and sorrow in the world. The method Zouken has chosen to achieve this is unknown to her, so in practice her objective is "Obtain the Grail, then contact Zouken."
Red and divided into thirds.
Personality Naturally since Zouken is her greatest inspiration she has only kindness and goodwill for her friends, family, and even strangers, with her pride as a magus coming second to her spirit as a person. Despite having a good heart, she has grown used to the "gross" and "scary" nature of the family magecraft to the point where she is able to accept something like devouring wild animals to sustain her worms. When she was younger she was often outspoken and wanted to simply mobilize the Matou as a force to correct every wrongdoing in sight, but she has matured to the point of accepting that the war to decide everything will be a bloody and treacherous affair. In other words, she has been doing mental exercizes to prepare herself for the act of taking another human life. With that said, she hopes to avoid the war becoming an absolute bloodbath beyond the necessary deaths of Servants. Having been raised from birth with the Holy Grail War in mind, Reiki is prepared to accommodate a prideful hero without sabotaging her chances at victory.
Bio A child born into the Matou with strong circuits and affinity for their signature worm familiars despite the decline that is beginning to gnaw on the family. Her relationship with her "grandfather" Zouken quickly surpassed that with her parents due to his superior teaching methods and the sense of justice they shared, and eventually he revealed his true role in the family as her ancient ancestor made immortal through exceptional worm techniques. She quickly became enamoured with her still-living ancestor's dream of a perfect world. Given time, she may have the capacity to transcend the human body as Zouken has, but such a thing will be unnecessary if the utopia of their dreams can be achieved, so instead she has simply prepared to battle for the creation of that world.
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Number of Magic Circuits: B (If you count the worms inside her body, then the value is much greater.)
Quality of Magic Circuits: B
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Magecraft Elemental Affinity: Water
Crest: Its name has changed over time and the practice of passing on their crest has long since ended, but the family that makes use of crest worms is over 400 years old.
The Basics: All simple magecraft which one would study within their first few years at the clock tower. Of course, having been trained at home by Zouken, the style may be slightly different. In particular, if Reiki is for some reason forced to resort to using dead animals as familiars, they will be of the finest construction and functionality.
Familiar Mastery: Reiki is constantly receiving information and relaying commands to and from her worms on a level that would be impossible for one without experience, and if she personally focuses on a group they can fight with a startling degree of precision. While a Heroic Spirit is not something that can be consciously commanded in that sense, they still benefit from a strong contract and mental connection.
Absorption: A dangerous method of completely breaking down matter and energy and consuming it through physical contact. Probably the deadliest technique available to Reiki since it is also possible to utilize through adding it to familiars and other magecraft. After all, it is a method which ignores "durability" in the conventional sense as it removes any matter it overlaps with, making surviving it into a matter of evasion or resistance to magecraft.
Binding: A form of magecraft for use primarily against spirits. It can prevent their movement and force them to do Reiki's bidding via contract. As a familiar master, Reiki is capable of severing the contract between a target familiar and its master before forcing a new one between herself and the target.
Healing: Different from the worms' interaction with flesh. Reiki, who has been preparing to support a Servant for many years, can cure wounds quickly even at range.
Water Magecraft: Spells to manipulate water. The normal offensive method of a torrent of water lacks power in Reiki's case, but she is effective in the ways of hydration and dehydration, being able to condense water from the air in various positions, hydrate herself, or quickly dehydrate others.
Equipment Imperious: A brass ring on Reiki's right hand inlaid with a glimmering orange stone. Through its use, the binding magecraft of the Matou can be extended to humans, essentially allowing for a form of mental interference which relates to the impulses of the mind to the body rather than conscious decision making. The wearer can forge contracts with humans if both parties agree, which can force another to do Reiki's bidding or provide her with mana. Unlike a self-geas scroll, however, this contract is something over which the wearer holds power, so it cannot truly be considered an equal and safe bargain.
Ravenous: A silver ring on Reiki's left hand inlaid with a shining black stone. Through this, it is possible to fire largely ineffective black mana projectiles to which the Matou quality of "absorption" can be added with especial ease and effectiveness. Even if their speed and number is subpar, they carry a low cost and can deal large damage by simply "removing" the area struck. The ring itself can also act as a "processing plant" which can remove harmful attributes of that which is consumed by its projectiles before passing it on to the wearer.
Crest Worms: The signature familiars of the Matou family, and the method through which their arts are passed down. Worms which consume magical energy both directly and through the conversion of flesh and blood. Reiki carries a large number of them inside her body to act as artificial circuits, which would be dangerous if she lacked control over them. Many variations are possible, and in preparation for the war much of the stock has been turned into blade-winged insects which fly at high speeds and strip flesh like piranhas. It is possible for a group of worms to take on the exact form and texture of an object, a technique which Reiki takes to the point of being able to create a walking talking replica of a person, indistinguishable from the real thing but able to release into a mass of worms at a moment's notice. Perhaps the most potent application available in this war is the ability to insert worms into a person and allow them to breed and move through the body until it can be used like a puppet even in death, a technique which can even be used on magic circuits and spiritual beings due to the worms' ability to interact with mana.
3 Families Benefits -Reiki resides in the home of the Matou family. Being a permanent residence of powerful magi it should go without saying that the protections surrounding it far surpass those which a mage entering Fuyuki would be able to set up around their base.
-The Matou possess considerable monetary wealth, which Zouken has given her leave to dip into without restraint if she can find a use for it that will actually affect her chances of victory in the war.
-By sending her worms to consume a large part of the local wildlife, Reiki has bred a network of familiars blanketing Fuyuki while the pit in her basement overflows with reserve troops.
-Reiki has summoned her Servant months in advance, allowing the two to cultivate a relationship and add a measure of powerful ancient rune magecraft to the manor's defences.
-Zouken has contacted one of his old associates, allowing a certain Italian homunculus to be called in to watch the dog, water the plants, and defend Matou manor from violent assaults by power-hungry mages.
Name: Scáthach Titles: Queen of the Land of Shadows, Witch of Dun Scaith, Lord of Spirits Class: Lancer Gender: Female Birth and Death Dates: ? ? ? Alignment: Neutral Good
Personality A woman brimming with pride and confidence in her power, with a perfect understanding of the exact difference between herself and the mediocre. Although no one can deny her status as a queen once she claims it, her usual demeanour is more like a “teacher” to her allies and a “warden” to her enemies. Since this event is a rare chance to exist in the world for a time, she is able to accept calling a mage “Master” and conforming to other rules of the Grail War and world as a whole, although she is not willing to become some slave. Indeed, Lancer, who is aware of her status above normal people, has already decided to use he greatness to the benefit of the masses, being the “strong” who must protect the “weak.” Of course, she has her own desire in mind, as well.
Lancer has a keen eye for the qualities of people. She will never be left confused about her own actions, and can see through the motivations and personalities of others. Her specialty in this case is determining the potential of the person in question and whether or not they are mediocre. This is an important ability for Lancer, who has little patience for those lacking courage. Naturally then, her favourite people are those with great courage. Not just a foolhardy warrior too confident in his strength, but a warrior possessing the same extreme quality she once saw in her greatest pupil. She will begin speaking like a teacher too easily if she meets an ally with potential in the modern world, but will remember herself before she goes too far. Lancer’s wish, whether from the grail or in battle, is to find the one who can truly and finally kill her.
...If there's any chance, she hopes that person will be her beloved student.
Bio In Celtic mythology Scáthach or the Land of Shadows. Throughout her battles, Scáthach eventually ceased being human and started to be closed off from the World, unable to die as a human. She was known to be a master of combat and runes who many sought out for apprenticeship. At the age of sixteen, the hero Cú Chulainn traveled to the Land of Shadows in search of fame, and she became his mentor, guiding him in her arts and eventually granting him his favorite demonic spear, Gáe Bolg. She lamented, however, that she was too late in bestowing him that weapon as she had already reached the level where it was impossible for her to be killed by such a thing. Her sadness was made only greater as she used clairvoyance to foresee her pupil's demise but was forced to let him return to the world anyway. Eventually, the Land of Shadows itself became completely cut off from the mortal world, fully becoming a land of the dead. Still existing unto modern times and unable to become a Heroic Spirit on the Throne of Heroes, Scáthach has not ventured outside of the Land of Shadows for two thousand years. Unable to die, she can only wait until the time the World and its outside finally disappear.
...Well, that's how it ought to be. Just this once, perhaps as a "reward" for dutifully protecting her domain, she has been projected into the Lancer class. While she is not living exactly, Scáthach will retain her memories from this experience and cannot enter spirit form, though the latter may be supplemented with runecraft or wisdom. Although immortal, she can be "killed" as a Servant, at which point she will return to Dun Scaith. If it's a truly unparalleled attack, however, there is a chance it will be sufficient to end her completely, thus fulfilling her fondest wish.
Parameters Strength: B Endurance: A Agility: A Mana: C Luck: D
Class Skills -Magic Resistance A: Lancer can cancel spells of A-Rank or below targeting her, no matter what High-Thaumaturgy it is. In practice, she is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title her a 'Magus Killer'.
Personal Skills -God Slayer B: A skill held as the gatekeeper of the Land of Shadows who kills divine spirits daily. Lancer gains a plus modifier when attacking Divine Spirits, wraiths, and Servants with the divinity skill. -Primordial Rune: On a completely different level from the runes modern mages use, this is an incredibly powerful art spread about by the Norse god Odin. Even if it sounds like an unbelievable claim, it is accurate to say that Lancer is as capable with magecraft as she is with a spear. Most notably, her runes can be used for high-power attack, defence, healing, support skills, and parameter boosting, but there are countless combinations to write them in that can produce many different effects. -Wisdom of the Haunted Ground A+: A skill produced through the endless experience of killing gods in the land of shadows, to the point of transcending humanity and being cut off from the world. Lancer can temporarily grant herself any skill with proficiency A~B rank, excepting those characteristic of specific heroes. She is able to impart skills onto those she recognizes as "true heroes," in which case the teaching process will be significantly sped up as she basically transfers a talent into their mind over time.
Noble Phantasms Name: Gáe Bolg Alternative Title: Soaring Spears of Piercing Death Rank: B NP Type: Anti-Unit Range: 5~40 Maximum Number of Targets: 50 people Description: Two spears forged from the bones of a terrible sea monster. Although similar, neither of them are identical to her pupil's spear, as they are both one step older. Once the true name is called there are two possible techniques which can be used individually or in immediate succession. The first is a close-ranged thrust which, should it make contact with the enemy, will immobilize them by pinning them in a spot in the air. The second possible application is a thrown attack guaranteeing the target's demise. As opposed to her student's thrust which inflicts an instant kill by manipulating cause and effect and relying on the enemy's misfortune, this attack brings about "certain death" simply by virtue of its extreme speed, accuracy, and damaging power.
Name: Gate of Skye Title: Gate to the Magical Realm Brimming with Death Rank: A+ Type: Anti-Army Range: 2~50 Maximum Number of Targets: 200 people Description: The privilege of Scáthach as ruler of the isle of Skye. She can temporarily summon a massive gate to the Land of Shadows which sucks in all life forms in range. If the target fails to resist it with their Mana or Luck stat, they'll be sucked into the gate and instantly killed. Even if resisted, the targets' mana is rapidly drained and they take major damage from the extreme force pulling at them. Scáthach can choose to exempt specific individuals from being drawn into the gate.
Still considering my Servant options, but there's a very good chance it'll be someone from the Lancer class. I'll probably wait and see the general power level of the war before deciding.