"Wait. Hold on. You remember it how?"Mary Jane laughs as she clasps my hand in her's, basking in the glow of the first week of a New York summer heat as we walk through Central Park on the way back from the movie. It's not often that your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man is able to catch his breath and just take everything in for a moment, but this afternoon is one of those rare miraculous instances. And there are definitely worse ways to spend my very,
very rare day off from getting growled at by Jolly Jonah Jameson than spending it with this pretty lady. Her red hair practically radiates as she places her head on my shoulder.
"You're adorable when you're nervous. You know that?", she teases.
"Yes, there was infact a time when the enigmatic Peter Parker was so spazzed out by asking the girl next door over that he kept tripping over his words to tell her a pretty big secret. We were both in High School, and you'd called me to tell me that there was something important you had to tell me...""This doesn't sound like me at all,", I argue, chuckling along with her.
"I mean, not the calling you over part. The spazzing out part I completely agree with and will never argue to the contrary. But as I recall, you were the one who told me that you knew I was... y'know. And we were just out of college.""Out of college? Oh, no. This was a very vivid afternoon, Mr. Parker..."Throwing my arm around her shoulder, she begins talking in that loving-but-also-kinda-making-fun-of-me tone of voice that both gets on my nerves and drives me wild in all the best ways.
"Aunt May was home. You were up in your bedroom, petrified. You poor thing.""That is also an accurate assumption.""And I just remember you blurting it out after awhile.", she says, laughing.
"'MJ, I have something I need to tell you. And you can't tell anybody! Anybody at all!' You said it like a hundred times before I could finally convince you it was okay to trust me."My brow furrows. I know that my memory isn't what it used to be, but was that really how it happened? Did I really ask Mary Jane Watson - y'know, THE Mary Jane Watson, who used to be the apple of literally every guy's eye and the ultimate party girl - to come over to my
house to tell her I was Spider-Man? I could barely ask Sally Avril to the prom at that age. Hell, I could barely work up the nerve to fight The Green Goblin at that age. And that guy was coo-coo bananas with a side of crazy fries, my absolute favorite type of villain to punch.
"It's not that I don't believe you, but... I mean, we are talking about a fifteen-year-old me. With the big coke bottle glasses and everything.""Coke bottle glasses? Oh my god, I didn't even remember you had those!", she says, nearly snorting.
"And the sweatervests! Oh, wow. You really were setting the fashion world on fire, weren't you, Pete?"I roll my eyes.
"Firstly, wow. Way to kick my adolescence while it's down, Ms. Watson.""Okay, you have no defense for the sweatervests.""I... got cold. Really easily,", I mutter.
"And secondly, yeah, I'm completely aware that when it comes to style, I'm about as adept as Wolverine would be at an anger management seminar. But I could have sworn you knew about... y'know... way before I ever told you."She feigns surrender.
"Look, Tiger. All I'm saying is, however it happened, you managed to win me over long before I ever knew about you being him. Or him being you, however it works."I smirk.
"Paging Dr. Frued.""But my point was, whatever you had to tell me, I remember what I thought you were going to say before you ended up spilling your superhero heart out. Which I definitely did not see coming."She throws her arms around me, stopping us midway through the walk. I playfully smile back.
"What, you? Taken by surprise? Next you'll be telling me that I look great wearing a used Fantastic Four costume with a paper bag over my head."MJ narrows her eyes, in that 'stop with the jokes for a second, Peter' kind of way.
"I thought you were going to tell me you loved me. And for some odd reason, I guess I just... came over anyway."She leans in, and I reciprocate. We have a moment, it's a whole thing. No need to get into the details beyond that. By the time we part lips, I put her forehead to mine and grin. For a guy who's never really had the greatest luck, I sure lucked out when it came to her. I used to have doubts, back when we were dating. Used to think I was dishonoring Gwen, for some reason, by falling for someone else. But ever since the proposal, nothing's ever been in doubt. She's made me comp---
"Wait."Just as we're about to go in for round two of PDA, I get that terrible buzzing at the base of my skull. The one that just builds, and builds, and keeps building until it turns into a blown out alarm clock on the inside of my brain. There's trouble about, right on que to interrupt my ridiculously great afternoon. Mournfully, I look back at MJ after scanning my surroundings, who looks at me with a puzzled glare.
"Trouble. Somewhere. Happening near here. Feeling it..."She stops me.
"Your senses are going off.""Yup. That's... what I was failing horribly at conveying.""Then what're you waiting for, mumblemouth? Get to changing!"The disappointed glare on my face doesn't leave as our hands break from one another. The last thing I wanted to do today was trade in my jacket and jeans for the red and blue spandex monster waiting underneath them, but I learned a very long time ago that I don't really have a choice in these matters. Duty before pleasure. Action before reward. Ect, ect.
"Right. Love you!"Before I leap into a clearing underneath to begin shedding my clothes, I hear her response. And it brings the grin right back.
"Go get 'em, Tiger!"THWIP!"Your timing sucks, whoever or whatever you are!"Fully suited up, I leap high and fire a webline out over to a nearby skyscraper and make my way into the deeper city. I can hear alot of screaming coming from the East, but it's faint. Has to be a crowded area, wherever this is happening. Leaping onto the side of a brick wall, I cling to it and scan the area ahead of me. And that's when I see it - big, brown, and absolutely foreboding. A cloud of sand forming over Time's Square.
Yeesh. I already know what that means. And I already know that it's gonna take a good three-to-five washes to get the grains out of this costume. But hey, if there's a Flint to be taken down, there's a Flint to be taken down. You don't get to pick your battles, Spidey. They can't all be as easy as The Shocker.
THWIP!In half a minute, I've already made it onto the scene, leaping onto a car as it picks up trajectory from the force that Marko's using to form his beach-encrusted body. Webbing it up from both sides, I attach the lines to the front and back of the vehicle and kick it down, knocking the car directly into Marko's back just as he launches some sand-spikes at some person I can't see over the massive green-and-black striped number. The car, of course, doesn't hurt him. But I hope it at least annoyed him. Because I really, really want to annoy this guy right now.
"Hey! I know you!", I shout, perched atop an LED display for Coke.
"Wait. Do I know you? It's so hard to keep track of all you villain types. I come across a million of you every week, what with your 'I'll destroy this!' and 'I'll rob that!' and 'I'll snap half of you out of existence with a cosmic oven mitt!' schtick. You all kinda blend together in the ol' noggin.""Har-har.", Marko replies, ripping the car out of the now formless hole in his body.
"I should'a known it was gonna be a matter of time before you showed up, webhead. You're as predictable as the freakin' sun."Chucking the car my way, I leap onto it, somersault over it, and fire another webline in the direction
not threatening any immediate pedestrian safety. The car's likely to land on another rooftop, so I'm not concerned with where that's headed. What I
am slightly relieved about is that as I swing by, I notice none other than everyone's favorite star-spangled man with a plan already fighting half of Marko off singlehanded. And doing a way better job of it than me.
"And you're as eloquent as an Alzheimer's patient with rusty dentures.", I fire back.
"By the way, I think I remember where I've seen you. It was in that movie, last year. The one with Tom Cruise. You were the sandstorm!"Making sure to give him a side-eye as I swing ahead, I try not to crap my tights as Sandy becomes a gigantic mountain of swirling meathead.
"Yeah, you sucked in that.""That's it!"
"You've been makin' fun'a me for too many years, Spider-freak! Soldier-boy can wait! It's way past time that you got the poundin' that you deserve!"That's it, Spidey. Keep him occupied on you for now, just you. Perfectly destructible-by-way-of-crushing-sand you.
Maybe that'll give Cap some room to do the whole "I'm Captain America and therefore I'm awesome" thing that he does.
Or at least come up with some sort of a plan that'll give us both some breathing room.
"Hey, Flagman! If there's any way that I could help you out, now's the time to make requests!" 
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